Snowfleur Enthusiast @the-lady-lavellan - Tumblr Blog

2ghosts1shell

I’m doing hot girl shit. *stares at the dark in my room with no thoughts like a blood-sniffing shark*

chaoticgouda

“GUYS we need to talk about how Loki is tumblr’s new sexyma-“

everythingfox

Sound on

neb-art-zeke

Iron Bull watching you and three other companions head out with dragon hunting armor and weapons w/o him

dalishious

“#btw can someone photoshop Bull’s eyepatch and horns onto Anthony pls lol” - Asked and received

tpolisher

seasonallydefective

Handy guys building stuff for their pets are so wholesome 😭

forestgreenlesbian

free-range-tiddies

Can’t believe Peter Griffin really tried it.

kamisatoayato

higgity-heck

*hands you a cow* *hands you a cow* *hands y

glumshoe

evil stepmother/usurping uncle OTP

glumshoe

Their assassination attempts keep counteracting each other, much to their mutual chagrin.The poisoned dart he concealed behind a door took out the handmaiden she’d sent with poisoned wine, the adder she slipped into his bedsheets was killed by the scorpion he’d hidden in his robe, the bandits he’d hired to waylay the king fell into the trap she’d set for his horse...

When they DO finally end up murdering the king (or, perhaps he dies of natural causes, despite their best efforts), she arranges for his children to be sent off to a boarding school in another land, and for their ship to be “lost” at sea. He, meanwhile, arranges for them to be kidnapped and slain by enemy spies. In the confusion of conflicting orders, the children are adopted by a friendly hermit.

invisiblegenzer

Does it have to be a hermit though? The kids are at sea right? Why not give em a kraken mum?

glumshoe

A good idea, but consider:

“What are you going to do with us?” asked the little prince, clinging to his sister’s arm.

“He’s going to kill us,” said the princess. “Obviously he’s an assassin, and he’s going to kill us both and hide our bodies. Isn’t that right, mister?”

The assassin rubbed his neck, smiling ruefully as he glanced between the children. “Well, that was the plan,” he admitted. “Your uncle ordered me to have you drowned at sea. I took the money and was ready to get on with it, but then your stepmother ordered me to slit your throats and leave you at the border.” He shrugged helplessly. “Obviously I can’t do both, and if I fail either job, well, that’s my head on the chopping block. Looks like I’m screwed either way!”

“So set us free!” said the princess. “Why not? You’ve got nothing to lose!”

“You’re only children,” said the assassin. “If I free you, you’ll just get yourselves killed, or eaten by bears. No... I have a better idea.” He grinned, and drew the twin daggers from the sheaths at his hips. The children flinched at the flashes of steel and inched away from the sharp blades, but the assassin only laughed and offered them the hilts. “How would you two like to become very, very good at killing people? You’re in need of a guardian, I’ve always wanted kids...” he trailed off, grinning sweetly. “What are we waiting for?”

The children exchanged looks, and silently accepted the proffered daggers.

helltitty

someone please photoshop That Drake Picture onto this. He has a bride now

christianstepmoms

she was his queen. and god help anyone who dared to disrespect his queen

theradioghost

when the times get rough and I lose sight of the goal i just. reread “the orange” by wendy cope again & remember. that’s where I’m going folks. sooner or later, whatever it takes.

theradioghost

At lunchtime I bought a huge orange— The size of it made us all laugh. I peeled it and shared it with Robert and Dave— They got quarters and I had a half.

And that orange, it made me so happy, As ordinary things often do Just lately. The shopping. A walk in the park. This is peace and contentment. It’s new.

The rest of the day was quite easy. I did all the jobs on my list And enjoyed them and had some time over. I love you. I’m glad I exist.

– “The Orange,” Wendy Cope