OK, so basically I posted this on TikTok a couple weeks ago and I honestly think Tumblr would probably appreciate it more. I have this for other fandom’s and I’m probably gonna post it here too, but I figured I would do the outsiders first since it’s what people like from my page the most 
Do I think Steve Rogers going back in time in the MCU absolutely demolishes any and all of his character because he’s supposed to represent change and he went back in time to a time that is heavily associated with being anti-change and has a heavily racist and sexist culture? Yes. Do I also think that it absolutely demolished Peggy Carter’s character and she would be way more likable if it never happened in the first place? Yes. Do I think them going back and changing the ending to fit doomsday is tacky and that they should stick to their guns if they want to screw up this bad? Absolutely.
First off happy pride!!! This is only the first chapter and I’m trying to by what happens in the show but I can only remember so much soooo let me know if the time line is wack because we are starting in at the beginning
Summary: Sansa finds a friend in you and you find a friend in her wich I what you make it your mission to protect her from the men she thinks are as honorable as her father and brothers.
Warnings/ what’s going on: normal GOT sexism, Joffrey, yall meat and it’s cute, backstory on how Jon got Arya her sword, this is NOT proof read, friendship between you and Sansa (that will change), Sansa acting the way she does in season one, she leaves for Kings Landing without you, you need to rescue your girl and her sister her dad is dead, Ned Stark is dead, a boy you meat has a PTSD attack, typical GOT violence, you train with the soldiers of Winterfell briefly, you have a big gay crush and don’t know it yet, she probably doesn’t even know gay people exist yet it’s ok
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 Winterfell was dark and bitter with cold but luckily you had the warmth of Sansa to cut through it all.
You were originally working as an assistant at the blacksmith. It was dark and hot in the forge. The work was repetitive and tedious, most was heavy lifting and hauling metal scrap to be melted, cleaning tools, or bringing fresh water for cooling because you weren’t allowed an actual apprenticeship. But one day in the cold air of a closely looming winter Jon Snow had walked through the door of forge looking to place a commission, behind him was a red headed girl your age you remembered her immediately as one of the lady’s of Winterfell by her red hair. Before your brain could have time to catch up your head was shoved down into a deep bow by the older boy that worked for the the blacksmith. Once you were let go of and your head was back up and you were able to adjust the hair out of your face you took her in. She was the prettiest girl you had ever seen. She had big blue eye that pierced though you like the slowly freezing water form the creek behind the forge. You couldn’t help but stair, her hair practically glowed by the light of the fire. she was completely radiant in every sense of the word. She turned to you and caught you staring from across the room and as soon as you locked eyes she hid behind her brother’s cloak. He turned back to look at her with a confused face.
“You! Girl!” You turned to look to the blacksmith that was yelling for you thinking he wanted you to back into the cold for more water. “Take Lady Sansa to the fire to stay warm while I take all these details.” You steped over to open the heavy wooden door to the living area. It was three small beds and a fireplace surrounded by three wooden stools in an old rug that look as if it was going to turn to dust. She walked passed you with her head down and took a seat on one of the stools, you sat on the one across from her and pulled a small wooden bird and a knife from your pocket and began to carve away at its shape. She looked up from the floor to watch you.
“If you don’t mind me asking why are you here?” You questioned without looking up. You immediately remembered her title and lifted your head. “M-my lady…”
She looked up at you with an almost bitter look. “My brother Jon wants to commission a sword for my sister Arya. He says it could help teach her discipline. I think he knows that all she wants to do is become a knight.” She said as she played with the hem of her dress. “if mother knew she would be furious.”
You knew lady Arya was very different from her sister but you never thought that would create any animosity between them. “And why are you here my lady.” You took another swipe at the bird with your knife to define the wing.
“I know her measurements because I help mother mend her dresses after she rips them chasing cats or falling out of a tree.” She made eye contact with you this time.
You turned your attention back to your bird. “Well I think it’s good you came along for her. We need a good knight. Most of the men that come in here lookin fo- looking for a sword are either far to cocky for their own good and will end up with their head on a stick or they’ve never swung a swim their life and they’re fathers dragged em he- dragged them here against their will. She has actual passion.” You chipped away at another bit of wood that was wedged in the crease of the birds neck and cleared your throat. “Sorry my lady I’ve only recently been learning how to speak proper um properly.”
“Well you speak perfectly well. And she may have passion but she’s to… energetic if you will. I simply don’t understand why she can’t just put down the swords and make believe and be a lady.”
You looked up at her briefly before looking back down at your bird. “Just because what you want is different doesn’t mean what she wants isn’t important.” You say flatly as you continue to scrape at the bird. You realize what you said as the silence falls across the small room. “Apologies my lady.”
She stood from her stool and walked over to sit next to you. “ you don’t understand. She can’t be doing these things anymore. She will never marry or bare children, she will be trapped as a spinster!” She looked concerned like beings a spinster was the worst fait that could befall a woman.
“Or maybe she will find freedom in it. She probably feels trapped by all those tightly cinched dresses.” You stood and sat your knife on your stool as you walked over to the fire. “ it’s not that I don’t like your pretty dress, I think it looks very nice but it certainly wouldn’t fit her the way it does you.”
She looked down at the ground again considering what you said. “I hat if she continues to act this way and gets hurt because of it.”
“Well let’s hope she can use her sword.”
You stared at the hot flickering flame in the fireplace before deciding dropping the bird into the flames.
“Wait!” Lady Sansa called out.
You barely caught to tiny bird before it landed in the ash. You looked over at her with concern. “What happened?”
“ why would you burn something so beautiful?”
You were very confused. “It’s just a bird?”
“Yes but you made it.”
“Well yes but it’s crooked and misshaped. It barely counts as a bird really. I certainly couldn’t sell it.”
“Then I’ll take it.”
“My lady I-“
She cut you off almost instantly “no I insist. Then after I while I will come back with it and see you improvement. This is an art and it should be respected.”
You walked over and gingerly placed the bird in her out stretched hand.
“I promise I will come back even if I need to force Jon or Rob to bring me.”
Before you could say anything thing the door swung open and in stepped Jon and your forge master.
“Right well good to do business!” His voice booming over Jon’s quietness. “Alright girl get back to gettin those metal scraps off my floor!” You stood leaving lady Sansa behind with your small bird in her pocket.
After a while when you were outside getting more water she found you.
“If you would like, I could find you a job in the kitchens. The man you work for now is quite abrasive and rude.”
“My lady are you sure?”
Of course we are always looking for new hands and we will be able to pay you, the money will be your and you can do with it what you please.”
“Even send it to my family?”
She smiled. “Well of course I don’t see why not. Not to mention we will probably be pay you more than you make now.”
You made no money. Your parents had sent you away to find work and all you found was this. You could not refuse her offer. And you knew that the Blacksmith didn’t need you, he had a son after all. And you were never allowed to make anything.
“Thank you my lady. Truly you bony know what this means to me.”
She beamed at you like you were the one who hung the stars. “Come, I will take you to meat my mother!”
That was the first time you had ever stepped foot inside the castle of Winterfell. The halls were long and cold but still had a liveliness and love to them you could not explain. You and Lady Sansa had found Lady Caitlin above the training grounds watching her oldest, Robert attempt to help Bran to shoot an arrow. By her side was her husband and warden of the north, Ned Stark. You knew he was large and intimidating but you had only ever seen him from afar.
“Mother, Father, I would like to ask that this girl be given a job. She is very polite and hard working and I can ensure to you she will be a valuable asset to any position she is given.”
Ned Stark stepped forward and smiled down at her. “And were did you find this young lady. His voice now that he spoke was less intimidating.
“I saw her working for the blacksmith as I was taking a walke to find Arya again and she was being mistreated by him at every turn. She would like to work here to send more money to her family.”
Lady Caitlin looked down to you “And is this true my dear.”
You nodded your head. “Yes my Lady. My family sent me to find work to support them and my sisters after my father was hurt.”
“And how much is the blacksmith paying you now?” She questioned.
“Nothing my Lady. He says I will be paid in experience but refuses to let me work. That is why I excepted Lady Sansa’s kind offer. And why we came to you to confirm..” you could feel your heart pounding in your throat.
“Well my darling,” Lady Catline said turning to her husband. “Sansa will be a lady of a house and will need to be able to select her staff. It’s important that she be able to recognize loyalty in a world like this.”
“I agree. Sansa I f you want her to have a job here that’s perfectly fine but if anything were to happen you will take responsibility, not that I doubt the young lady.” He said as he smiled.
“Thank you father!”
“Thank you very much.” You say with a bow.
From their on you worked in the kitchen and Sansa would visit you. Any days you had off you would spent with her because you barely know anyone else. You would bring pastries from the kitchen for you and her to share under the gods tree, and you would followed her everywhere and she would always make it worth while. You two would stay up late into the night talking in her room or trying on dresses. You thought she was the most radiant girl in the world. To you she was everything, she was your best friend and you never wanted that to change. You loved Sansa Stark and would do anything to make her happy. On occasion Arya would sneak in to talk to you to. She loved her sword and adored listening to you talk about the men that came through looking for a weapon and their tales of battle, but it was always Sansa you would turn to in the end. You were both to young and the world still seemed kind. That was before she was ment to be sent to Kings Landing.
The first time you had met Joffrey you felt sick. There was something off about him, he acted like a brat yes, but there was still something more you couldn’t place. You were worried watching them talk, Sansa would have to marry him and you knew something was wrong and you couldn’t do anything to help her. Even if you did try to offer to help would she take it? Every time you talked about him she seemed to be obsessed with the idea of marriage and marrying him. She wanted to be queen ever since she was a little girl and Joffrey was meant to be king, this was her chance. You knew she shouldn’t marry someone like him. And maybe if she felt the way you did she would reconsider. He was rude and abrasive and cruel. She didn’t deserve this. It was to awful to think about and all you could do was watch her and Arya ride off to Kings Landing without you.
After Sansa left you continued to work in the kitchen. You would occasionally sneak out on your days off to practice combat. You spent years with Sansa watching her brothers and Arya fight. You figured you could do it to, and maybe one day you would need it. You knew the honors of men. Ned Stark and his sons may have been honorable but that wasn’t the case if every man. So you practiced day in and day out until you were caught. Luckily for you it was only a stable boy. He said he wouldn’t tell if you brought him hot meals from the kitchen, you agreed only if he would help you practice. You had seen him around the soldiers and saw how they spoke to him and occasionally taught him how to swing a sword. He was the closest thing you could get to a teacher that wasn’t your memory and on top of that he could actually fight back unlike the poor hey-bails you abused.
He was kind of cores but it was almost a fault, in the first few months of knowing him Every time you tried hand to hand combat he would hold punches or cower like a bunny. You didn’t know why the soldiers respected him enough to let him hold their swords and swing when you put in the work and would never be allowed to put it to use. One day however you found him in the hey crying. He was shaking like he had never known warmth in his life. When you reached out and touched him he leaped back in fear, panting like a dog.
“I didn’t mean to really I didn’t I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry!” He screamed. You didn’t know what to do so you ran. You found one of the soldiers you had seen him with and grabbed him.
“You have to come with me! Something’s wrong in the stables! Something happened and I don’t know what! Please!” They all broke off into a run. You followed behind the best you could. By the time you found him again he was huddled in the corner weeping and rocking back and forth.
You grabbed the solder from before as he stepped closer. “Whats going on what’s wrong with him!”
He turned to you and pulled his arm free from your grip. “I’ve got it from here now get out. Now.” He wasn’t mean but firm when he said it. Another soldier that you recognized from the markets took you by the shoulder and led you out of the stables. He sat you down around the corner.
“Listen young lass I’ve aut to thank you for comein to find us that was the right thing, but I need ya to know that ain’t him.”
You were confused by what he ment. “What do you mean that’s not him?”
He sighed heavily. “How long have ya known the boy?”
“Almost a year. He always seemed easy to scare or jumpy but what’s wrong with him?”
He put his heavy hand on your shoulder. “ that’s the thing is nobody knows but it started when he was a child. Someone had broken in to his house when he was about 14 or so and tried to take whatever they had in the house. His brother the man with him now was away and his father was sick. Poor boy didn’t know what to do and the robber heard him hiding so he did the only thing he could, he fought back. From what he told me it was nasty he beat the man with a cooking pan so bad he was unrecognizable. The lad hasn’t been The same since and his brother’s been looking after him. Says very time this happens it’s like he reliving it.”
“I thought that only happens to solders.” The sweet boy you had been fighting with begging for him to hit you had killed a man. From that day on you trained with his brother. You still brought them both food from the kitchen and you still talked with him but you never asked him to fight again.
After fighting with real soldiers you found skill and began to improve. At first you thought you had been doing good marking progress on your own, but they had proven you wrong fast. It was hard work and most nights you went to bed sore and aching down to your domes but you knew it was worth it. You were 13 at the time.
After news travels back that Ned stark had bee beheaded under the charge of treason you had to do something. It had been a full year since you started fighting with a sword and hunting in your spare time. You weren’t confident in your ability to survive but Sansa and Arya were stuck in Kings Landing with no ally’s and no help. So you set out on your month long journey to the capital. You hopped between travel groups and companions as you went. It was still warm when you started but once you left the Northern Territory it got hot. You weren’t used to how violent the heat was on your skin but you knew the violence Sansa faced in the capital was worse.
Sorry this took literally forever omg I’m at graduation practice rn and this was requested by my bbg proof reader so it’s not proof read so let me know about any mistakes I know she will anyway ENJOY!!! Also this is my first time writing smut
(Warnings and what’s going on): smut, Steve is noses and is so sick of you being love sick he turned into your wing man, Soda is upset about Sandy, riding, praise kink, good boy, doggy, protected sex, DONT GET PREGNANT IN THIS ECONOMY, very light choking, sub Soda, Dom reader, messy make out, that’s probably it let me know if I missed something I’m outside rn and I’m probably gonna die of heatstroke.
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You weren’t new to hanging around the DX to bother Steve and Soda but today felt weird. Soda had been quiet all day and usually you had a hard time getting him to shut up. Eventually when Steve took his break you found out why. He nodded for you to head out the door with him. You leaned against the side wall of the DX and he started talking.
“Sandy got knocked up with some other guy's baby and they ran off to Florida together.” He didn’t dance around the point at all.
“Jesus Christ!” You paused for a second “I would ask if he’s ok but he’s obviously not… I don’t think anyone would be.”
Steve pulled a cigarette out of his pocket and piped it in his mouth before lighting it and taking a long drag.
“Yeah, well, he’ll be fine eventually you know him.”
You looked at him with a bit of concern.
He rolled his eyes and laughed “Hey at least she's out of the picture now, all you have to do is wait a few weeks and he’s all yours.”
You scoffed at him and turned forward “ you're such an ass you know that?”
He blew smoke directly in your face and laughed as you coughed. “Well, sweetheart, let's look at the facts. You like him, he’s open, and that dumb slut sure as shit ain’t coming back. So either take your chance or don’t.”he took another drag of his cigarette as you thought about it.
———-
It had been a couple weeks since Sandy left and Soda had gone back to normal for the most part. He was still quiet sometimes but you notice a massive improvement. You were both sitting on the couch in the Curtis house, Soda was watching something on the TV that you had drowned out and you were staring at the same page of the book you were ‘reading’. You kept thinking about Sandy. Not only did she cheat on him but she was stupid enough to get pregnant. Ponyboy said he liked her and you thought she was nice enough, you just couldn’t see why she would do this. You looked over at Soda, what did he see in her anyway? She wasn’t particularly pretty but she also wasn’t ugly. She was tall but not model tall, she had freckles but not enough to be noticeable. On every mesher she was average. She was also boring, you never had a thing to talk about. You couldn’t believe that someone so outgoing and loud and loved was with someone that never even appreciated him.
“You doing ok Soda? Ya haven’t said much.”
He gazed over at you with a slight sadness. “Yeah I’m ok. Why do you ask?”
“I’ve never seen you this quiet. Usually you don’t stop talking and ya can’t sit still for more than a minute.”
He laughed a little as you said it “I’m fine, I think I just need to get my mind off some stuff.” He turned his body to you “are you doin ok? You’ve been staring at the same page forever.”
“I’m just thinkin.”
“Bout what?”
He slid closer to you, putting his arm over your shoulder. His knees brushed yours. You closed your book and set it on the side table and laid your head on his shoulder. “Nothin, it ain’t important.”
“Well if it ain’t important you wouldn’t be thinking about it. So what’s up?”
It wasn’t odd that you were sitting like this with him. You sat like this all the time. You sat like this with Two-bit and Steve and Johnny but it felt kind of different. “I was just thinkin about Sandy.” You looked away after you said it. You had told yourself when they were dating that you didn’t care, but you knew you were jealous.
You didn’t see his face but his voice told you everything. “Why the hell are you thinkin bout Sandy?”
You looked back at him “just never really liked her is all.” after you said it you felt awful. You were his friend. You were supposed to be happy for him. Saying it loud felt like a betrayal to him and yourself. Saying it out loud made it real. You didn't have time to dwell on how bad you felt about it because Soda had just grabbed you from off the couch and sat you on his lap. You legs were now swung over his to the side while your back leaned against the arm rest of the sofa. He kept his arm around your shoulder and placed his other hand on your knee.
“She was a little difficult sometimes. But least I got you.” he laid his head on top of yours and let out a long sigh. “I'm sorry.” he said as he pulled away from you and removed his hand from your leg “I didn't mean to throw you around like that. I kinda just grabbed ya.” his face was getting red.
“It's alright.” you reassured him by moving his hand back to where it was. “I really don't mind.” And you didn't mind. What you did mind was the feeling between your legs that set your skin on fire every time he moved. Soda pulled you in closer wrapping you up in a tight hug that almost felt suffocating in the best way you could imagine.
“You're real warm.” he whispered in your ear before slowly pulling away to look at you. You thought your heart was going to jump out of your mouth if you spoke.
“You're really strong.” you said as you held onto his bicep. He smiled like you just told him he won the lottery and he and Darry could retire and send Ponyboy off to college.
“Steve told me what you had been sayin. Bout Sandy an allat.” he paused and leaned in to whisper in your ear again like he knew a secret. “Bout how you really really like me.” he pulled away again “said hes tired of wachin and waitin for us to just bang and get it goin. He said youd been feelin the same for while to. That true?” you could feel your neck getting hot. You sat there staring at him like a deer in the middle of the road and just nodded.
He snickered before kissing your cheek. “Good.” He held your face with his hand. He didn’t lean in, he just looked at you like he was going to melt. So you helped him along. It wasn’t rushed or hungry, just slow and gentle. His lips were soft like you knew they were. That heat kept building in your stomach. You pulled away and sat up to straddle his lap. He looked up at you like you were the moon.
You leaned in to kiss him again and he immediately encouraged you. You really couldn’t take it any more if you didn’t get the friction you needed you were going to to go insane. You started bucking your hips against him. He grabbed your hips and helped you steady yourself. You could feel him getting harder with each movement. You bit his lip trying to be gental we but still needing more. He groaned as he opened his mouth for you to slide your tongue in. He was a little sloppy at first but it felt good you knew how bad he wanted it even if he didn’t say it. He moved one of his hands up to the collar of your white button up and tugged at it. You pulled away from him but not before giving him one more kiss.
“You want it off?”
He nodded, quickly confirming for you. “Please.”
You fought the urge to reach between your legs. Instead you piped open the top button and slowly made your way down, watching his eyes follow you hands as you worked desperately for it to be over. You could tell he was getting antsy by the time you let the fabric fall around your waist and drop to the floor. You could feel his eyes raking over you body from you almost bare chest to your stomach.
You held the back of his head as your kissed him again, tugging gently at the hair that sat at the base of his neck. “You can touch me ya know. I ain’t gonna bite ya or nothin.” You placed a kiss just below his jaw before moving down his throat, nipping and biting and kissing the sensitive skin. His hands were all over you. Squeezing your ass and thighs, gripping your boobs through your fragile lace bra. He couldn’t get enough of you. And you couldn’t get enough of him. You were both desperate for more, he was acting like he was starving. Your hand traveled up his chest over the white t-shirt he had on. Kissing his lips again as your hand reached the base of his throat he moaned into your mouth. You lean back to look at him. A thin string of saliva connecting the two of you.
“M’sorry.” He said panting “just feels real good when you do that.”
“Want me to do it again?”
He nodded again “yes please.”
You could feel his erection pressing into you from beneath your skirt as you kissed him again, applying a little more pressure to his throat as you kissed him again. He held your hips firm as he bucked his hips up into you. You stopped again. He looked at you confused. You reached your hands back and unhooked the clasps of your bra.
“How bout you take it off huh?” He swallowed hard looking up at you. His hands were shaky when he took the thin white lacy strap, rolling it between the pads of his fingers. He pulled it off slowly. He looked like he was going to pounce on you.
Before you registered anything he scooped you up in his arms and carried you back to the bedroom he shared with his brother. You ran your hands through his hair feeling how soft it was. It was all you could do to keep yourself from rubbing your legs together like a desperate animal. As soon as the door closed he was on you. His lips crashed into yours, teeth bumping against yours as he silently begged for more. He led you to the bed and you pushed him onto the mattress. Light streamed through the curtains on the bed and onto his chest as he leaned into the pillow. He grabbed your skirt and brought you closer. He kissed you again. Softer this time. You pushed him down again.
“Take your shirt off.” You said as you held the hem between you two fingers, you let go and undid the clasps at the back of your skirt and yanked the zipper down. You kicked it off somewhere in the bedroom without looking. He threw his shirt as soon a he got it off. He gawked like an idiot when he saw you, fumbling with the zipper of his pants.
You crawled onto the bed and sat between his legs on your knees. “You alright soda?” You questioned as you pushed his hands out of the way to undo his zipper all the way. He lifted his hips and slid his jeans down his thighs.
“I- uhh. I don’t-“ he was a stuttering mess looking up at you. You couldn’t help but think that it was the hottest thing you had ever seen.
“Is it…” you paused trying to find the words. “Is this your… first time?” If he hadn’t had sex with his girlfriend of how many years why the hell would he want you now?
He sat up from the bed so fast it creaked beneath you. “No! No. Me and Sandy… we… well she never really wanted to but we did a few times. She was just never in the mood. I just… get kinda um.” He could barely look you in the eye. Did he realize how desperate he looked? Did he realize how wet your panties were? “I just get real… sensitive is all. I get it if you wanna quit if that… if you don’t…”
You took his face in your hand so that he was looking at you again. “Please tell me you have condoms.” He twisted around and opened the draw of the bed side table and pulled one out.
“Darry would kill you if he knew you had them.”
He shook his hand as he tore it open. “Nah, he’d kill me if I ever got a girl pregnant. And he’d definitely kill me if that girl was you.”
You laughed a little as you hooked your thumbs in the hem of your lace underwear and pushed them down. He tossed his underwear off the bed and slid the condom down. He was larger than you had anticipated. You were a little embarrassed that his begging made you so wet that it was slowly dripping down your legs. You were also a little surprised because you never thought this would turn you on so much. You could feel yourself aching for him. You climbed into his lap hovering over him, aligning yourself with him. You slid down slowly, he was thick. You could feel yourself stretching around him, halfway through you had to stop.
“You ok?”
You shook your head “yeah, yeah I’m ok.” You slid the rest of the way down. Once he was fully inside, you could feel the tip of his cock kissing your cervix making you flutter around him.
“Oh fu-mmmhh…” he bit down on his hand trying and failing to stifle his moans. His other hand found your hip, his finger tips pressing deep into your skin.
You braced yourself by putting your hands on his chest before you started to move your hips. You started slow at first, taking time to adjust to the size of him. Slowly lifting your hips up before dropping them down. Heat pulled deep in your stomach as you kept going. Shifting your hips over and over you felt him twitching inside you.
“C-can you go a little faster please… it- mmphh fe- feels good.” He was a complete mess whimpering beneath you and you had barely started. His hands griped your hips tighter as he tried not to thrust his hips into you. You started to move faster. You felt him hitting deeper and deeper with each movement. Every grind of your hips sent waves of stimulation through you.
“Mmmhhh like that. Please. Please.” He wasn’t lying he was sensitive. He was already staring get close.
“think you can hold out a little longer?”
“Uh huh…” he couldn’t help but thrust up into you. He wasn’t going to last any longer and you knew it. His fingers were digging into you so hard you knew you would have bruises tomorrow. He was still trying fiercely to hold back his whimpering. While still moving you took his hand in yours and pressed a kiss to his knuckles.
“Come on now, I know you’re gettin close.” He couldn’t hold it in anymore. His hard callused hands held onto you like you would disappear if he let go. You felt his hips jut up as he stared to shutter beneath you.
“Fu- oh fuck I’m cuming, I- I’m… cumming,” kept the same sloppy upward movement as rode out his high. “Shit I’m sorry.” You lifted yourself off him and rolled onto your side. He pulled you in by your waist before you could get out of bed and clean yourself up.
“Please…” he begged still breathless. you turned to face him. The side of face was pressed in your back as he held on to you.
“Please I-I need to make you cum. let me make you feel good. Please. I need you to feel good and cum. Please.” He said as he dragged his hands over you almost worshipful, kissing along the curve of your spin as he begged and pleaded for your answer.
You rolled over onto your stomach “are you sure?” You questioned as you ran your fingers through his damp hair.
“Please…” he pressed another kiss you your lips, desperate for your touch. “Please…” his hand rubbed your lower back.
You were so pent up from riding him you couldn’t think of anything else besides him desperately pounding into you. How whiny he would get trying to get you to cum. “What if Pony gets back soon?”
He shook his head. “Hu uh him and Jonny are hanging out either Two-bit.” He looked at you with those big pleading eyes and you couldn’t resist him. He looked like a sad puppy and you loved it.
“You wanna make me feel good?” He nodded slowly, still looking up at you with those sad eyes. “Alright…” he eminently sat up and got behind you to spread your leg apart and lift your hips to his. Your face was buried in the mattress so fast you barely had time to think. Almost immediately you held the tip of his cock slide through your wet folds, rubbing your slick on his tip before he slowly sliding his cock inside you. He was still thicker than you were used to even after riding him,you could feel yourself starting to lose control as he started slamming his hips into you at a brutal yet desperate pace.
“Just wanna make you feel good baby… please.” He pounded in and out of you like it was his last day on earth, sloppy wet sound filled the room as you squeezed around him.
“F-fuck! Soda you’re doing so good sweetheart… just like that! Come on!” He let out a low groan form behind you as he kept his pace hitting harder each time. “You’re being such a good boy for me!” That made him pick up the pace even faster. You could feel him hitting that sweet spot with every thrust. You gripped the sheets so hard you thought they would rip but it was all you could do to keep yourself grounded and not moan out his name like an animals in heat.
“Mhhh m,i doin good?” He was panting like he hadn’t had water in years, completely drunk on the feeling of your pussy.
You turned back trying to see him. “You’re doing so good baby…” you could barely breathe. You felt the heat in your stomach building fast. Your legs were getting weaker and you could barely support yourself, he just filled you up so good you could barely take it. He was trying so hard not to cum before you again, continuously grabbing at your hips trying to keep hold of you like you would disappear if he didn’t.
“Oh fuuuuck Soad! Just like that!” You yelled out his name over and over again. “Come on… I’m almost there baby! Holy shit!” You reached between your legs as he fucked into you to press your ring and middle fingers to your clit, applying hard pressure in tight little circles. “Soda! Please! Oh fu-“ you were cut off by your orgasm crashing over you like a wave of ecstasy drowning you in bliss , hot and heavy like you where being pulled beneath the water and could finally breathe. His hips sputter and jerk into you as you cum around him, making him cum for the second time. He slowly pulled out, the loss of contact making you wine in frustration. Your legs finally gave out underneath you as he rolled over on his side. You were beyond exhausted. As you were laying face down in his pillow you felt and hand on your back rubbing slow comforting circles over your skin.
“You ok? I didn’t mean to get rough…” he was panting like an animals. You lifted you head to look at him. His hair was a damp sweaty mess and he was grinning at you like an idiot as if he didn’t just bang your brains out. You turned your head back into the pillow giggling to yourself. He will never know how adorable he is. As you caught your breath and finally sat up you answered.
“I’m fine… come here.” You pulled him in for another kiss.
“Next time you and Steve are hanging out on his break tell him I said thanks.”
“You’re disgusting!” You said barely containing your laughter. “Let’s get this cleaned up before Darry gets home.”
Now hypothetically speaking if I were to write a Sansa Stark x fem reader wlw forbidden romance fic and I diverted from what I usually write would yall be interested or nah P.S. it’s happening either way. I just thought I would try to set my expectations (oh yeah Sodapop x reader (cum)ing soon 👹)
What do ya think
YAY I LOVE LESBIANS 🧡🤍🩷
Fuck that ginger
Voting ended onMay 27
Again, I’m sorry I really do think I’m funny sometimes and I know I’m not just bear with me 
Summary: Issac wants to tell you something but he can’t. Like he physically can’t.
Warnings/ what’s going on: Issac passes out in the woods and goes to the hospital, you and Fran sit in the waiting room, I had to guess on some medical stuff (I’m going to college for theatre not medical anything ) some of the unimportant characters have the same description of some of the Pitt characters, Issac pre mechanical heart, he’s a sweetheart and not an ass yet (we love him either way), making out in the hospital, Issac excepting his mortality (not for long), he loves you.
🖤🌒🖤🌒🖤🌒🖤🌒🖤🌒🖤🌒🖤🌒🖤🌒🖤
The lights were harsh and bright in the waiting room. It was quiet, it was so quiet. The snow fell outside the window. It was dark out and the cold had a way of seeping in through the thin windows. It was November and the first snow of winter. You had been sitting in the waiting room with François for hours. There were test after tests that they were running on Issac. You had been on a walk with Issac in the woods. He said he had something to tell you. It was starting to get dark when you both stopped to rest because Issac said he was getting tired. He had been dizzy ever since you knew him but he had always blamed it on low iron. You were going to ask about why he dragged you out of your warm house on such a cold night. Then it happened, he had collapsed to the ground. You didn’t know what to do so you called the first person you thought of which ended up being François You had finally dragged him out of the woods by the time the ambulance arrived. Now all you could do is wait. That was the first time he had fainted. You sat in since bouncing your leg as Fran paced the floor. You couldn’t bring yourself to break the silence. Instead you searched the room. Their father was nowhere to be seen and their mother was smoking across the room out of a window clearly wanting to be anywhere but here. You knew their parents were uninvolved and when they were involved nothing good came of it but you couldn’t imagine how anyone could abandon their children like this. You were deep in thought about Issac and what he wanted to say to you when a pale, skinny doctor with brown curly hair and black scrubs cleared his throat and brought you and Fran back to Issac’s room while their mother opted to stay behind.
The halls were lit with still florissant lights that burned your tired eyes. It felt like the longest walk of your life. Your shoes clicked against the floor too fast as you walked and every brush of your clothes made you want to tear your skin off.When you finally reached his room he was laying in his bed staring out the window. Your legs moved before you could think and before you could stop yourself you were throwing your arms around him and pulling him into a tight hug. François was quick to follow. He was freezing cold under your skin.
“Oh god Issac are you ok?” You were rightfully frantic as you said it.
“yah I’m fine, I’m just glad you’re here.” He looked between you and Fran “let me guess our mother is sitting somewhere smoking and our father couldn’t be bothered.” he chuckled.
He meant it as a joke but It was a depressingly true statement followed by an awkward silence broken by Issac. “They said it’s Arrhythmia.” He was quick and blunt in a medical way as if someone had asked about the weather and he had answered with rain. “Specifically Bradycardia, it can be treated with medication but it’s unlikely to do any good. And apparently it developed early.” You didn’t know what to say. Then you felt a tear run down your face.
“Don’t cry, I'll be fine. We just can’t go on any more hikes.” You didn’t even know you were crying. But so was Fran and that's what mattered more to you. He was her brother.
Her shoulders were shaking as she tried to keep quiet. Her long hair falling to cover her face as her head stayed low.
“Fran…” Isaac’s voice was soft. “It will be fine,” he said as he extended his hand toward her.
“You’re in a hospital bed and we most likely can’t treat what you have. How is that fine?” Her voice broke as she spoke. It almost hurt to hear. Like a wounded animal you thought to yourself.
“The doctor said as long as I avoid any strenuous activity I’ll be fine.” He bit his lip when he said it. He was thinking about something, he always did that when he was thinking about something. He was cut off by an older attending that had light brown hair with a gray streak, going through it with a shaggy beard that framed his face.
“I’m so sorry kiddos the visitation hours are over. But you can pick someone to stay the night as long as they are over 18 and we get an arm chair set up in here for ya.”
Fran was out. You and Issac were the same age as of a month ago. And Issac knew neither of his parents would stay if they didn’t have to. That left you.
“I can stay if you want me to. Then in the morning I can go get Fran.” You hated that you said it. You didn’t want to impose on him and his family. You also didn’t want to rub it in François' face that she can’t stay with her brother. But the words already left your mouth now all you could do was stare at the ground and beg it to swallow you as you waited for his answer. You glanced up once to see François' face. She wasn’t mad. She was smiling.
“Thank you! I really don’t want him to be alone.” Her voice cracked as she said it. You could tell she had been holding back more tears.
You walked Fran to her mom’s car before you got settled in with Issac. The walk back was awful, even when you finally got inside and escaped the cold. The lights were still too bright, your clothes still felt heavy, and the lack of sleep was starting to catch up to you. When you finally got back to Issac’s room he was half asleep with a book in his hand. He looked ethereal and almost peaceful. He was beyond beautiful even under the Florissant hospital lights. You turned around to shut the door and as you heard it click shut you heard his voice from behind you.
“I was wondering when you would get back.” He said it with a tired smile. This was the first time you had been alone with him aside from the woods. Fran was usually always at your sides. Not that you minded. She was one of your closest friends but it had never occurred to you that you had never been truly alone with Issac uninterrupted until now.
“You want me to turn the lights off after I change?” The nurse had brought you a change of clothes for the night.
“Sure. Not like we have a lot to do anyway.” He was still thinking about something, and you had no idea how to ask about it. You picked up your clothes and headed to the bathroom in his room. It was small with a shower. Thank god. You knew come morning he would want a shower. After you had changed you made your way out to Issac who was now sitting up in his bed with his book and a pen.
“What are ya up to?”
“ I started to annotate my copy of Pride and Prejudice.”
“You’re reading Pride and Prejudice? I thought you said you don’t like fiction. And I definitely don’t take you as a romantic.”
“My sister thought it would be fun. And by the way I’m still allowed to enjoy things like reading for pleasure. Plus I appreciate the passion that Mr. Darcy has.” He was quiet for a moment.
“You would say that.”
“Will you sit with me?” He said, lifting his head. You were half way to the chair next to his bed.
“Sure.” You said as you sat down.
“No, I mean sit with me.” He looked down when he said it and then clarified. “In bed with me.”
You didn't say anything as you turned out the light as you crawled up next to him and sat beside him. Only the lamp was left. He was warmer now than he was in the woods. You supposed that made sense. The bed was cramped as you arm pressed into his but soon enough he moved as close to the side as he could and leaned back as he lifted his arm for you to sit under as he had done countless times when you had watched movies together. You laid into him shifting onto your side to lay your arm across his chest. You could feel his heart beating softly as you both lay there in a gentle silence. He wrote his notes as he read and you watched. Eventually you came across Mr. Darcy’s confession. His first confession. He was still as apprehensive and upset that he had fallen so hard for Lizzy. You were in the middle of reading through his insults to her and her family before Issac put down his pen and lifted his head from on top of yours. You could feel his heart beat speed up.
“Issac are you ok?” After what happened today you couldn't help but be worried.
“I'm ok. Just tired."He set the book and his pen on the night next to the bed.
“Want me to turn off the lamp?” you asked as you sat up in the bed. He held on to your wrist as you tried to get up.
“I got it. Just please don't leave.” He looked odd. You laid back down next to him. He switched off the light when you were settled under the blanket and wrapped his arm around you resting it on your side holding you close. You pulled him closer to let him rest his head on your chest. He was acting odd. Isaac was already odd but this was weirder than usual. Isaac was usually very stoic and quiet. Now he was almost begging not to be alone, you didn't blame him but you were still worried and you still couldn't figure out how to ask him what he was going to ask you about in the woods. So you decided just to ask.
“What did you want to tell or ask me about in the woods? You were going to say something and then I had to drag you out.”
He didn’t respond right away, just sat in silence with you. For a moment you thought he wasn’t going to say anything or that he was asleep but to your surprise he did.
“It wasn’t anything important. If anything it was kinda dumb so you can forget about it.”
“Well clearly it was important because you dragged me into the middle of the woods to tell me.”
“It wouldn’t last long even if I told you.” You had no idea what he meant. Isaac said cryptic things all the time and usually you wouldn’t question it but you suspected that this had something to do with you.
“What do you mean ‘won't last long’. What’s wrong?”
He sighed. Long and deep not with any irritation but with sadness. “I’m going to die.”
“Don’t say that. The doctors wi-”
“The doctors don’t think I'll make it either. Which would be fine but I’m worried about Fran. She’s fragile and scared of her own shadow.” He lifted his head to look at you through the moonlight seeping in from the window. “I’m worried about you too.”
You pushed his hair from his face and smoothed it down. You felt your chest start to tighten as a lump formed in your throat.
“You’ll be fine. You're the most stubborn person I’ve ever met.” He looked at you like if he ever looked away from you he would lose you forever.
“In the woods. I wanted to tell you…” he looked disgustingly uncomfortable. He put his head back on your chest and pressed into you. He may have been warmer than he was in the woods but he was still cold. He sat up facing you, looking down to see you.
“What?” You reached out and put your hand on his shoulder. You had definitely never been this close. You wondered what Fran would think of this. You wondered if she knew that you had a crush on her brother. You would never say anything of course. You definitely wouldn’t say anything now that he didn’t have a lot of time left.
He reached up and grabbed your hand and brought it to his lips and pressed a kiss to your knuckles. “I like you. I really do. You might be the reason my heart stopped working.”
You were wrong about him not being a romantic. You knew he was passionate and you loved that and you loved him. You sat up while still holding onto his hand and linked your legs between his so that you were both sitting on your knees. When you were finally up right and face to face your noses were practically touching. He looked at you with those almost black eyes that you love so much. He leaned in not quite closing the gap but you could feel his lips barely brush against yours. You leaned in and kissed him. He leaned in to you immediately, his lips were soft and gentle. You brought your free hand up to hold his head, running your fingers though his thick curly hair. You swiped your tongue against his lower lip and he opened his mouth. You had never kissed any one like this before and certainly never had either. His teeth bumped against yours as he slid his tongue into your mouth. You toughed his hair gently and he let out a low moan into your mouth.
“Mmmh come here.” He let go of your hand to support himself as you lean back and pull him down with you. He gasped quietly as you pushed him onto his back and dipped down again for another kiss. He grabbed your hips and moved you to startle his legs. He pulled back to catch his breath. And for the first time you really looked at him. His hair was black and you knew that but it had a warm undertone to it. He was pale but his eyes were dark and framed by dark circles. They weren’t black like you tell yourself but so brown they look black. There was a small shallow scar just beneath his right eye, you don’t think he ever told you how it happened. His hands were cold like they always were but you now noticed how big they were compared to yours. You knew all these things about him before but for some unexplainable reason the moonlight made you see him more clearly.
“I’m sorry.” He held your hips when he said it. You looked at him confused. “We… I’m going to die. This isn’t fair to you.”
“No, it’s not fair that you aren’t going to that fancy outcast school. I want to have you here with me.”
He grabbed your hand again and moved the other to rest on your thigh. “You know this can't last forever.”
You bent over and kissed his forehead. “Nothing does.” you kissed the bridge of his nose as he let go of your hand again to hold your face. You rolled off his lap to lay next to him.
“You're the kindest man I ever met Issac night.”
He looked at you with the most sadness you had ever seen in one person. “You know that's not true. You know how selfish I am.”
“I also know about everything you have done for Francois. And if you ask me I think that would say the opposite.”
He wrapped his arms around you again, “that doesn't mean I'm not selfish.”
“Then what makes you selfish?”
He didn't say anything for a moment, he just looked at you. Then he said something you'll never forget. “I’ll find a way to stay with you and Fran. Wanting you has been the most selfish thing I've ever done.”
“No,” Cherry said slowly… “not innocent. You’ve seen too much to be innocent. Just not… dirty.”
I love this quote from Cherry because it really summarizes Pony and Johnny in a way I feel the fandom sometimes struggles with. She's directly saying that yes, they've seen shit. They aren't innocent or sugary sweet, and she can tell just by looking at them that they are hardened in some way that has made a visible impact on them. But also, their pain doesn't cover them like dirt - it isn't drying on their skin and staining their clothes and drawing everyone's eye. It isn't a permanent, skin-deep pain that has hardened their exterior and tainted their interior.
Of course, it's just a summarization of what she sees. A general statement. There's nuance lost in it, the way nuance is lost in most summaries. Still, it accurately reflects Johnny and Pony's characters. While the fandom often looks at Pony and Johnny and sees characters who are soft, anxious, twitchy, shy, and helpless, Cherry sees them for who they are. They aren't soft, they just don't see a point in needless violence. They're not anxious and twitchy, they're on guard and tense. They aren't quiet because they're shy, they're quiet because they're thoughtful. Introspective. Observant. They aren't helpless, they're just constantly faced against people and environmental/physical factors that anyone would struggle against, and they still manage to power through.
It also feels important to note that S.E Hinton does this everywhere - adding in 'small' details and quotes that actually really add to either the characters, foreshadowing, main themes and ideas, or plot.
Summary: you wish you had more time to love Dallas Winston.
Warnings/ what’s going on: not proofread, dally being avoidant, reader is remembering thing that lead up to cannon events and grieving, dally gets almost ass naked and runs into a lake, yearning, Dally gets jealous of your date and dose nothing, Dally gets vulnerable and hates it, reader feels extremely guilty, you fight with Dally, hospital, cannon injury, Steve gets treated by you post rumble, Two-bit is a good big brother to you, reader get very depressed, regrets all over
🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤
You loved Dallas Winston you always had and knew you always would from the moment he jumped off that train and settled in on the east side of Tulsa. He was mesmerizing to you. He was completely beautiful to you from the way he presented himself in rodeos to the constant bruises that covered his knuckles. You were well aware that he wasn't some wild horse that needed to be tamed or some bad boy with a heart of gold like in some trashy airport romance novel. You saw him for what he was. He was a hood from New York running from his problems instead of facing them head on and you understood that to a degree. In the time you knew him he never talked about New York, sure he would tell stories about fights he and the other homeless kids would get into but he never said anything that would give you insight into who he really was. He was always dragging you or Johnny away from the topic when it was brought up. He never really liked talking any way, not that he was quiet like Johnny he actually never shut up but he never liked anything of substance or vulnerability.
There was a time that you and Dally had been driving. It was starting to get late in the evening. The sun was beginning to disappear beyond the horizon, painting the sky with orange and yellow light that danced and bounced off the trees like magic. It was almost as beautiful as him. You remember turning to look at him and just seeing the way he was bathed in the sunlight, the way his hair was tossed around in the wind made your heart flutter. The feeling was made worse when he turned to look at you glancing between you and the road smiling as you cruised slowly. You needed to know him.
You started slow “Dally?” your voice was soft. “What was New York like?”
He chuckled looking back at the road in front of him. “Why? you wanna go? Maybe see a show?” you could tell he was making fun of you, not that you minded.
“No, well yes I think it could be cool but that's not what I meant, did you like it? Did you have a family?”
He didn't say anything. He just sped up the car, laughing and drove for what felt like forever to you. Eventually he pulled over to a riverside beach and got out of the car to open your door. It was the one thing that he consistently did for you. After you got out of the car still confused he closed your door and kicked off his shoes, pulled off his socks and started on his belt.
You turned around as fast as possible and almost yelled “what are you doing?!”
“Relaxe sweetheart just thought it be nice to swim.” you heard his belt and pants hit the soft sand before he picked them up and tossed them in the car. “Will you turn around and act like you met me before? You're makin me feel like a weirdo.”
You turned around to see him lifting up his shirt. It wasn't like you were trying to look but you did take notice of how strong he was. He threw his shirt into the car along with his other clothes and started running towards the water in nothing but his black boxers. You lean against the car to watch. You got bored soon enough and took off your shoes to join him and wade in the water. Once you stepped in and he finally came up for air he swam over to you and sat in the shallow water.
“What? you don’t wanna join me?”
“I don’t want my Drees to get dirty. It's new and my mom would kill me if anything happened to it.”
He splashed his face with water and looked up at you. He didn't say anything. For some reason you couldn't explain you bunched up your dress around your thighs and crouched down next to him. The water sparkled with the sun and the trees swayed back and forth in the wind. You heard him splash beside you as he stood up, water rolling down his back. He extended his hand down to you. You took it and stood smoothing your dress down in the process still holding on to him.
“You wanna go already?”
“Yeah, plus there's a snake swimming around on your left.”
You screamed as you ran out of the water and back to the car. Dally doubled over laughing at you as he stood in the water and yelled after you “I thought you loved animals!”
You shook your hands out of nervous habit “Not the ones that could kill me.” You muttered under your breath.
He took you home that night and walked you to your door. Your mother almost lost her mind when she saw you with him. Dally already had a reputation. Not that you cared. You still loved him, he just didn't know it.
The one time you had seen him truly and undeniably happy was at the rodeo. He wasn't riding that day just watching and you could tell just how much he loved it. Him and Soda sat and talked about the horses as they watched in amazement. You wish you knew that that was one of the last times you would see him smile a mile wide like that. You wished he would smile at you like that but that was for Sylvia not you.
Then there was one of the worst nights of your life. Dally had shown up alone to the spring dance after sneaking in with Johnny. Not that you had known he was there. You had been there for two hours or so, the shiny wood floors underneath your feet. The Disco ball made everything look cheap. You were trying desperately to have fun and failing miserably. Eventually they played a slow song, you tried to get out but your date had found you first. There wasn't anything necessarily wrong with him, he was just boring. It was starting to get too stuffy as you danced. You had your arms wrapped around his neck trying to act like you wanted to be there. Your wilting corsage dangling from your wrist. Then you caught a glimpse of him over your date's shoulder. You couldn't remember his name now. But you remember seeing Dally looking at you with a look of what you now know was jealousy. It was not an invitation. But as the Beatles song played you wanted to kiss him anyway. Your relationship with him was never convenient and you never wanted to lose that. You never wanted to ruin that. Looking back now, kissing him would have been the best mistake. You should have kissed him anyway. But after what happened with Sylvia you didn't want to make it awkward. You had a second period with her. You told yourself that you and Dally had been doing good, staying friends was safe. But “safe” doesn't always mean that's what you should do.
You thought that the spring dance was one of the worst nights of if not the worst nights of your life. You know not that you were horribly wrong. The night had started out normal but that's how most horrible things start. You were leaving the drive-in with Dally. Pony and Johnny had already left and Dally wanted to take you back to Bucks because there was another party and he didn’t want to be alone all night again. It was already late when you got there. And the night only continued into an endless void of dim lights and loud voices. You eventually dragged you back to his room. He didn’t say much after that. You just laid with him on his bed and you talked about nothing and everything. You didn’t ask him about New York. You gave up on that a while ago. Eventually Dally had fallen asleep in your arms. You gave up on trying to stay awake soon after. You were only woken up when Buck came in to drag Dally to the front door because someone was there to see him. If you had known who it was or what was about to happen you would have gotten involved. You don’t know what you would have done but maybe things would have turned out different if you had tried. That wasn’t even the worst night of your life. You felt awful saying that but it was true. For you Bob's death wasn’t even the worst thing that happened that week.
The following days were agonizing. Ponyboy and Johnny had run off to god knows where. When you found out that it was Dally who told them to you lost it. You yelled at him like you had never yelled at anyone before. In hindsight maybe you should’ve just shut up because you can’t remember a word you said. All you know is that it was something along the lines of ‘I don’t care if they're Greasers or not they’re still kids Dally!’ You thought that was the worst thing that could have happened. That two little boys running away was the worst of it. And that’s what you had said.
“There little boys Dally they can’t be off where nobody knows where they are!” He had yelled back at you that he knew exactly where they were. You remember his words better than your own.
“I know where they are so quit worryin bout it! You ain’t even related to em so why do you care so much? You ain’t there mama! So quit actin like it!” You knew that. And when he said it you thought it was ridiculous that he brought it up. Of course you weren’t their mom. But it felt like you had just lost everything and eventually you did.
Dally disappeared the next day and you thought he had skipped town. He never told anybody where he was going and you were so pissed that he had ‘left’ everyone to deal with this on their own. Then one day Steve came to your door to show you the paper. There they were Pony, Dally, and little Johnny staring at you from the front page. ‘Hoods turned heroes’ they looked younger than you remembered. It hadn’t even been that long, but tragedy had a funny way of putting life into perspective.
When they finally came home and you found them in the hospital you were relieved to find minimal damage. But Johnny wasn’t there when you had asked about him nobody said anything. Ponyboy was the one to tell you, and to take you to his room. The hall was long and hot the way everything was in Tulsa. The lights were too bright and it smelled like bleach. If you were miserable you couldn’t imagine how Johnny felt. When you got to his room and saw him you had to hold back tears. If you started so would poor Pony. And Johnny didn’t need all that right now. He looked so small when you got to his bed. He was laying face down with a tube in his nose. Machines were beeping everywhere. You sat on the floor next to him so you could see his face. It was only when you saw his face that you realized he was awake. You took his hand that was hanging off the bed and rubbed your thumb over the back of it.
“Hey Johnny cake …”
“Hi…” you could see how exhausted he was. He looked like a puppy that had been kicked too many times.
You left the hospital that day still feeling like you were somehow responsible for this. If you had walked them home they would have been in the lot and Johnny would’ve been fine.
You kept visiting every day. First you go see pony at home, then dally whenever you could find him after you made up because of the fight you had, and Johnny in the hospital. Every time you entered his room he looked worse. He looked smaller and smaller. The burns began to blister over. He grew more tired as the days went on. You knew that he wasn't going to make it. You think he knew it too. You would never admit that to yourself. If you did that means it would come true and a small ignorant part of yourself still held hope.
It was in the evening when Ponyboy came home. You were sitting on the couch with Steve trying to stop his forehead from bleeding. It wasn't deep but it had already soaked his shirt and now you were on your third round of cotton. Your hands were covered in warm blood, most of it was Steves but you knew some of it had to belong to a soc. You wiped his face clean and smoothed a large bandaid over it. When Pony stopped and closed the front door and Darry asked what was wrong, you knew what he was going to say. Johnny was dead.
“Johnnys dead.” He walked back to the hall and turned. “Told him about beatin the soces. I don't know if he just died. Told me to stay gold. Dally’s gone. He couldn't take it, he's gonna blow!” his voice was starting to shake; he was on the verge of tears. You stood up, Steve didn’t move. an air of panic and grief fell over the room instantly and everyone started rushing out the door.
Dallas Winston knew what he wanted and what he wanted was to be dead. Johnny was the only thing worth living for in Dally's eyes and now he was gone. Johnny was his last bit of hope and his last chance to prove to himself that hope still existed. And now that hope was and so was Dally.
You watched him get gunned down by the police. You watched as he bled out on the asphalt trying to crawl away from the rain of bullets. But it never stopped, they just continued to shoot. He was 17. And they continued to shoot. That was all you could think about as you watched. He was a 17 year old boy and they shot him. You knew he would have never fired that gun. But they fired theirs. You felt like you were going to run or collapse. The only thing keeping you from doing either was Two-bit holding on to you, desperate to make sure you didn't get hit. You held on to him too. Then Dally stopped moving. There was no twitching or shallow breathing, he just stopped. You didn't move you thought that maybe if you stopped too time would freeze and you could stay with him forever. You knew this wasn’t an accident. You knew he wanted this, everybody knew.
You didn't see Pony at school for a while. You didn't see anyone, not really. You woke up each morning, went to school, came home, and laid in bed. You didn't eat and you only slept when you were too tired to stay awake. All you thought about was Dally and Johnny. Then one day you woke up and you were standing in front of two small, flat granite plaques in the ground with no invitation to a funeral. Nobody had the money for a funeral for them. And you knew Johnny's parents didn’t care even if they did have the money. You couldn’t imagine not caring. You looked down at the plaques, one read ‘Johnny Cade 1951-1967’ and the other read ‘Dallas Winston 1950-1976’. You were standing six feet above them both. You sat in between them in the grass and stared at the freshly disturbed soil. You thought about Johnny and his family. You didn’t see them at the hospital when he was still alive. They never came to visit him, you and mostly everyone else tried to stay the night at the hospital when you could and you never saw them go in or out. If you missed them you're glad, because if it came down to it you probably would’ve smacked his mom stupid. If she could get any more stupid.
Dally never talked about his mother and the only thing he ever said about his father was that they hated each other and you didn’t know about any other family, you weren't sure if he had any family and if he did you had no clue what their relationship was like. That made you feel worse than you already did thinking about Johnny. At least you knew his family didn’t care. But what if Dally had family out there that was worried about him? What if he had friends in New York he promised to visit one day. They wouldn’t know where to find him and if they did it was too late. What if they could have given him the funeral he deserves. You still had so much left to say. You wanted to tell him you loved him. Not like Johnny or Ponyboy or Two-bit. That you really loved him. That you could see yourself waking up next to him for the rest of your life. That once you had turned 18 you could just adopt Johnny and get him out of that house. That it wouldn’t matter if he could walk or not. That you would wake up every morning to make breakfast. You knew it was a childish fantasy. You should have kissed him anyway
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