yet another pheu blog

why do i keep doing this

[actually-is-an-onion]

they were onions here <3

[phan-is-dirt]

yk where onions grow from? THE DIRT. SOIL.

[actually-is-an-onion]

:0 ActuallyNot's parents are dirt, perhaps?

[the-pheu-theorist]

Theory: Actuallynot are the descendants of dan and phil (who are in the dirt/are the dirt), causing them to become onions. And the reason why Not is so against Phan being real is because she's a child of phivorce (in this case meaning that dan and phil were together, and then they phivorced when they had Not, and they got back together but they forgot to tell that to Not. Not, however, was so heartbroken by the phivorce that he started believing that phan was never real and that they were both straight to begin to cope with the fact that he lost her phathers. etctectec

[the-actuallynot-theorist]

you missed a key point: that is also why she hates dirt.

[the-pheu-theorist]

YES YESS YOU GET IT

[the-pheu-theorist]

oh dear lord not again

u are EVERYWHERE

[actually-is-an-onion]

they were onions here <3

[phan-is-dirt]

yk where onions grow from? THE DIRT. SOIL.

[actually-is-an-onion]

:0 ActuallyNot's parents are dirt, perhaps?

[the-pheu-theorist]

Theory: Actuallynot are the descendants of dan and phil (who are in the dirt/are the dirt), causing them to become onions. And the reason why Not is so against Phan being real is because she's a child of phivorce (in this case meaning that dan and phil were together, and then they phivorced when they had Not, and they got back together but they forgot to tell that to Not about it. Not, however, was so heartbroken by the phivorce that he started believing that phan was never real and that they were both straight to begin with to cope with the fact that he lost her phathers. etctectec

[the-actuallynot-theorist]

okay, how about we do this? since i'm a theorist first and foremost, evidence is like my best friend. the confirmation i need to spew all my crack theories. if anyone wants to take a guess at who i am, give me at least three good pieces of evidence. there are no wrong answers! just, i'd like to see how you pieced it together and what made you come to your conclusions. as incorrect or not as they may be...

[the-pheu-theorist]

wait i can do this:

reasons why i think @the-actuallynot-theorist is @flimsysparks in disguise!

first up, the most damning evidence that most people fall into (and was used by @/actuallynot-is-the-same-person for their claim):

flimsysparks and the-actuallynot-theorist always seem to be awake at the exact same times and POST at the exact same times! and i happen to know this because i have interacted with both of you in the same short time span!!!

second, whatever the-actuallynot-theorist reblogs, flimsysparks is always right behind in the likes (well maybe not always, but this was taken right now)

EVEN if they just happen to be two different people active at the same time (which is plausible because here i am), how are they able to interact with the same post at the same time??

once again:

the-actuallynot-theorist reblogged this just now as well!

third, both flimsysparks and the-actuallynot-theorist have been sighted using the hyphen in place of an em-dash to cut off their words:

and though that may just be a massive coincidence, it can also be noted that they both have very similar texting and formatting styles, with both featuring informal texting, lack of capitalization, and often using paragraph breaks inbetween their writing.

All in all, this is why I, the-pheu-theorist, am 99% sure flimsysparks and the-actuallynot-theorist are actually two raccoons in a trench coat!

But that's just a theory, A PHEU THEORY!!

Edit:

JUST LOOKKK 👆🏼👆🏼

[the-actuallynot-theorist]

can we be two opossums in a trench coat i don't like raccoons :[

[the-pheu-theorist]

sure <3

[the-actuallynot-theorist]

okay, how about we do this? since i'm a theorist first and foremost, evidence is like my best friend. the confirmation i need to spew all my crack theories. if anyone wants to take a guess at who i am, give me at least three good pieces of evidence. there are no wrong answers! just, i'd like to see how you pieced it together and what made you come to your conclusions. as incorrect or not as they may be...

[the-pheu-theorist]

wait i can do this:

reasons why i think @the-actuallynot-theorist is @flimsysparks in disguise!

first up, the most damning evidence that most people fall into (and was used by @/actuallynot-is-the-same-person for their claim):

flimsysparks and the-actuallynot-theorist always seem to be awake at the exact same times and POST at the exact same times! and i happen to know this because i have interacted with both of you in the same short time span!!!

second, whatever the-actuallynot-theorist reblogs, flimsysparks is always right behind in the likes (well maybe not always, but this was taken right now)

EVEN if they just happen to be two different people active at the same time (which is plausible because here i am), how are they able to interact with the same post at the same time??

once again:

the-actuallynot-theorist reblogged this just now as well!

third, both flimsysparks and the-actuallynot-theorist have been sighted using the hyphen in place of an em-dash to cut off their words:

and though that may just be a massive coincidence, it can also be noted that they both have very similar texting and formatting styles, with both featuring informal texting, lack of capitalization, and often using paragraph breaks inbetween their writing.

All in all, this is why I, the-pheu-theorist, am 99% sure flimsysparks and the-actuallynot-theorist are actually two raccoons in a trench coat!

But that's just a theory, A PHEU THEORY!!

Edit:

JUST LOOKKK 👆🏼👆🏼

[the-actuallynot-theorist]

STOP DONT CALL ME OUT ON THE HYPHEN INSTEAD OF AN EM DASH i don't have built in em dashes on my keyboard all in all, love this, love you for this, don't steal my job please buit also what if we were two people corunning a blog what if we're just very good friends <3 (trademarked)

[the-pheu-theorist]

i wouldn't be opposed to that 👀 👀

[the-actuallynot-theorist]

okay, how about we do this? since i'm a theorist first and foremost, evidence is like my best friend. the confirmation i need to spew all my crack theories. if anyone wants to take a guess at who i am, give me at least three good pieces of evidence. there are no wrong answers! just, i'd like to see how you pieced it together and what made you come to your conclusions. as incorrect or not as they may be...

[the-pheu-theorist]

wait i can do this:

reasons why i think @the-actuallynot-theorist is @flimsysparks in disguise!

first up, the most damning evidence that most people fall into (and was used by @/actuallynot-is-the-same-person for their claim):

flimsysparks and the-actuallynot-theorist always seem to be awake at the exact same times and POST at the exact same times! and i happen to know this because i have interacted with both of you in the same short time span!!!

second, whatever the-actuallynot-theorist reblogs, flimsysparks is always right behind in the likes (well maybe not always, but this was taken right now)

EVEN if they just happen to be two different people active at the same time (which is plausible because here i am), how are they able to interact with the same post at the same time??

once again:

the-actuallynot-theorist reblogged this just now as well!

third, both flimsysparks and the-actuallynot-theorist have been sighted using the hyphen in place of an em-dash to cut off their words:

and though that may just be a massive coincidence, it can also be noted that they both have very similar texting and formatting styles, with both featuring informal texting, lack of capitalization, and often using paragraph breaks inbetween their writing.

All in all, this is why I, the-pheu-theorist, am 99% sure flimsysparks and the-actuallynot-theorist are actually two raccoons opposums in a trench coat!

But that's just a theory, A PHEU THEORY!!