Cried myself to sleep last night. First thing I did once I was awake was start crying. Guess it isn't out of my system yet. I'm scared to admit the reality of the situation, so I just won't.
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@the-rainbow-lion
Cried myself to sleep last night. First thing I did once I was awake was start crying. Guess it isn't out of my system yet. I'm scared to admit the reality of the situation, so I just won't.
You don’t know how much someone is worth to you
until you sell them
you’re my favorite notification.
As It Is // Hey Rachel
Sometimes I wish I could be the kind of person who could go without texting the person I care about, just give up on texting them when they don't want to text me, but I've never been the one to give up talking to someone I want to talk to even if they don't want to talk to me, and maybe I should try it. Just try to go a day without doing it. I know I won't be able to. They're all I think about everyday. I can't help but text them, in case they text me back. I tell myself everynight before I fall asleep "tomorrow is the day you're gonna take a day from texting them until they text you" and everytime I give in and text them. Everytime. I'm gonna try again tomorrow, but that won't go well. I know ill break and text them, even though they'll be busy and won't be able to talk till later anyways
This has turned into the only social media platform I can post on about how i feel because I have family on all the others and I'm starting to feel like I can't honestly say how I'm doing on them when I'm not doing good. Like, they think I'm doing better and I am but also, I can't bottle shit up which means letting myself feel like shit and crying and I don't want them thinking something is wrong when I'm just sensitive and overthink and feel not so good sometimes. Not to the point of hurting myself, just to the point I need to cry. I don't want to talk to them or anyone about it, I just want to be able to let out how I'm feeling and I can only do that here now.
I feel like massive shit
I find it fascinating that people who choose not to have children are generally assumed to feel really strongly about not having children (or even to feel really strongly against children, anyone’s children, in general). I am probably not going to have children, not because I REALLY REALLY HATE the idea of having children, but because I don’t really really love it. Out of all the major decisions I will make in my life, this one is the only irreversible one. I can sell a house, quit a job, divorce a spouse, whatever. I cannot unhave a child. I cannot opt out of being a parent once I become a parent. I can’t even take a step back for the sake of self-care or whatever, or else my child will suffer.
So for me, having children is fuck yes or not at all. The default will be to remain childfree. Having children should be an opt-in decision, not an opt-out one. Until/unless I develop really strong feelings about wanting to have children, I won’t have them, even if that means I never end up having them at all.
As a mother, I really wish more people gave having children this kind of clear contemplation and thought. It’s an irreversible decision. Too many people don’t understand that.
this this this this this.
fixed it
The Vibe I Get From The Signs
aries: try hard and badass. wants people to like them and think of them but deep down all they need is themselves. very outspoken and controversial. they don’t go with the flow, they dig their toes into the rocky sand and walk against the current. they’re the person in class who is always on edge, waiting for something to happen and jump in and save everyone. they thirst for adventure and never settle for less than terrifying. the feeling of security and excitement follows them, they never stay still and never stop for anyone. they make you feel as if you’re running through a forest with only a flash light to guide you in the dark, like fear and adrenaline are their drug of choice with you.
taurus: laid back, always calm. the quiet kid in class who has mad jokes and can roast everyone in seconds. they never try to make anything uncomfortable, but they’ll talk with you about anything if you bring it up. they’re an open book but their pages don’t turn themselves. a feeling of sheer joy and calmness. when you’re with them the world feels simpler, like all complications faded away and color has returned for good.
gemini: sarcastic beyond belief. very reserved but outgoing. naturally mean sometimes when they don’t try to be, they have trouble thinking of others feelings when it comes to certain topics. always want what’s best for you even when that may not be something you want, but they always know the right path and never wander too far from it. a feeling of desire to stay in their presence is always there. a cool autumn night and you’re sitting next to a speeding train, unafraid and ready.
cancer: smart, not afraid to be themselves. give off the feeling of a rebellious school kid that the teachers love but no one knows why. always know how to make you smile even when you’re at your worst. doesn’t seek trouble but somehow it finds them. they always find a way to keep a cool head and strategically problem solve. the feeling they give is a cool breeze, never too harsh and never too rough. they feel like when you dig your feet into the sand while water slowly pours in, pulling you in calmly.
leo: very outwardly, not afraid of anyone or anything. that person who always entertains you even when you’re not communicating. very extroverted but is really introverted when they’re not around people they know. loves to take care of people when they need to take care of themselves first. they wrap a warm feeling around you and make sure you feel safe always. they feel like the steepest roller coaster ride, that feeling that hits when you’re about to drop, then the pleasure and joy that comes when you fall.
virgo: ahead of the game. always seems to be two steps ahead, goes over all the possible things you could say and calculated their response. try’s to not be a know-it-all but can’t help it. give off the feeling of assurance. they do their best and are very hard on themselves, but they can also be unforgiving. the feeling you get when you get a question right in math class and you can’t help but smile. imagine sitting under a great oak, taking in the spring air, the feeling of the breeze hugging you and brushing through your hair.
libra: beautiful and unique. the kid who’s in theatre and puts everything they have into the performance. makes the dirtiest jokes and turns everything into sexual innuendos. they make you feel whole and happy inside, like everything is good in the world. they always seem busy, maybe come off as superficial because of their busy ways. but if it’s important enough to them, they will make time even if they have to stop the earth from turning. they love hard and they break easy, but their recovery is quick and they always bounce back. you feel like you’re on an island with them, watching the waves gush in and roll away.
scorpio: secretive. very dark-humor but very sweet. they’re like a fishing line and you’re the fish, you get stuck on them and they feel you in and you’re caught. the way they talk makes it seem like they have a dark past and chests full of secrets. they feel like the riptide in the ocean but more gentle, they care too much and they get hurt a lot because of that. you feel safe yet always on edge with them, like a storm is coming but you’re in the eye, safe from it all.
sagittarius: risk-taker. loves new challenges but hates heart break. always somehow leave you stunned and intrigued. they love confrontation and love the quiet. think of the kid in class that sasses the teacher but gets away with it. wear their heart on their sleeve and gets dangerous when people play with it. they set an earthy tone, like a ferris wheel ride and you’re stuck at the top admiring the city lights.
capricorn: emotionless when threatened. complicated but beautiful. they never live a dull moment and always grab life by the horns. aren’t afraid of judgement but still hate being judged. a calm sea wraps them up, smooth and strong, but also wicked and rough. they don’t like being told no or that things they do are wrong. they take care of their friends and love endlessly. like curling up in a wool blanket on a wicked winter night, the snow tapping at the windows and the weight and comfort of them keeping you safe.
aquarius: unpredictable. always has the right words and never will hide their true colors. will be mean as hell or as sweet as sugar, depending on the people they involve themselves with. loves to be loved. like the cute kid in class who can do anything and it’d be considered art. very creative and very influential. they vibe with almost everything and anyone, they understand deep emotions and always question the universe. the feeling of insecureness comes with being around them, but only because their speak is so beautiful and sophisticated you feel behind somehow. always reassure you that you’re perfect the way you are. like a stormy day, dark thunder clouds and dime-sized rain drops, electrifying but alluring.
pisces: likable and kind. kind of quiet but has a loud mind. has a deep need to be loved and can get very emotional when hurt. they absolutely hate feeling useless and are always asking to help. they make use out of everything they see and are very inventive. no matter what the problem is, they find a solution. sometimes get taken for granted, but never do the same to others. think of the kid in class who is just like everyone else, so it seems, until you see them when no one is watching, how collected they are, how eager to help. they are lured in by kindness and give all they have. they feel like a hot and humid summer day while you dive into a cool pool of water and your worries and issues seem to slip off into the blue and disappear.
The Signs When They’re Drunk
The party animal: Gemini, Cancer, Scorpio, Sagittarius
Is hella friendly / flirts with everyone: Aries, Leo, Capricorn, Pisces
Sleeping / contemplating thier life: Taurus, Virgo, Libra, Aquarius
Fake IDs with my correct gender
Student witch tip
Use your salty tears to bless your $500 textbooks
date the boy that leaves out cups of tea for ghosts hes never seen
Therapist: people are going to come and go that’s how life is Me: immediately starts crying