wandering stars

Astraea - She/her - 30+ Fic masterpost · My AO3 · Witcher Creatures Database ✨Gif by @texasbama ✨

[boringmenace]

I go back and forth on how emotional hollanov would be when they say goodbye at the cottage/airport their first summer together, but I ultimately think it would hit them at different points.

The first time it really hits Shane is the night before Ilya’s flight back to Boston. The pair were lying in bed together, fingers dancing on skin, Ilya’s breath rhythmic on Shane’s neck. Their last full day had been a haze, barely getting out of bed, bodies glued together for nearly every moment.

Shane genuinely lost count of the orgasms, his body feeling like one giant aching bruise in all the best ways.

And now, he was exhausted. He could tell Ilya was too by the way his hands that were gliding against Shane’s skin slowed, his breaths evening out more and more, hanging on the precipice of sleep.

If they slept now, they wouldn’t see each other until the morning. Until they would have to pack up in Shane’s car.

Until Ilya would leave.

Tears stung Shane’s eyes.

He squeezed them shut, trying to will himself to calm down, the burning in his throat near agonizing. He must have tensed too much, because Ilya began to pull out of his dozing and adjust, his nose brushing against Shane’s. “What’s wrong?” Ilya whispered.

Shane made a pathetic noise in protest, refusing to open his eyes.

“Shane. Look at me.” There was a sternness to Ilya’s voice that was too commanding for Shane to ignore. It wasn’t loud, the volume still that of a whisper, but it was clear.

Shane opened his eyes to meet Ilya’s and the way Ilya’s eyes shuttered told Shane that he must look wrecked. “What is it?” He pressed again.

Shane’s voice came out in a croak, a tear falling from his waterline. “You’re leaving tomorrow.”

And Ilya understood. He understood the gravity of that and how the perfect bubble of these last weeks was about to be gone. So he gathered Shane up in his arms. “I’m still here now,” he murmured, pressing his lips to Shane’s head.

They stayed that way until morning.

Ilya didn’t break until they were at the airport.

They were… okay, leading up to it. They were okay as they got ready, they were okay as Shane started driving. But Shane quickly noticed that the closer they got to the airport, Ilya got quieter. His grip on Shane’s hand was getting tighter and tighter, to the point where it was near crushing.

When Shane parked the car in the back of the lot, they were silent. Ilya stared out the passenger window, refusing to look at Shane. “Are you okay?” Shane dared to ask.

Ilya didn’t look back immediately, but when he did, Shane’s heart broke.

Ilya’s eyes were shining and his mouth had the smallest of trembles. His Adam’s apple bobbed once before he spoke. “I love you,” he said, voice wobbling.

“I love you, too.”

Ilya bit his lip and looked down at the space between them, where their hands were clasped. “I don’t know how to go back,” Ilya said. “How do we go back?”

“It’ll be different now.” Shane started. “Better. We’ll talk all the time. Every day, we’ll at least text, and then call when we can. It’ll be hard, but people do long distance all the time.”

A tear slid down Ilya’s face and Shane had to stop every nerve in his body that screamed to wipe it away. “Do you think people who do long distance are as in love as we are?”

Shane smiled sadly at him, and shook his head gently. “Probably not.”

Ilya’s face crumpled even more and he gasped, leaning forward to press his lips to their joined hands. Shane leaned forward too, pressing their heads together over the center console.

Shane didn’t dare kiss him, but he would allow them this much. Ilya was whimpering softly against their hands, eyes screwed shut, forcing Shane to close his eyes too to stop himself from crying also.

“We’ll be okay,” Shane promised. “We can do this. Just one season.”

Ilya made a noise in acknowledgement, but did not speak. Shane wasn’t sure how long they sat there together, but he knew that Ilya had to go or he would miss the flight. “You have to pull it together, baby,” Shane whispered as softly as he could.

“I know,” Ilya replied.

After a few more seconds, Ilya took a loud, deep breath, and sat up, separating their hands.

As Ilya tried shaking off the emotions, Shane spoke. “Text me when you board.”

“Okay.”

“And when you land.”

“Yes.”

“And call me when you get home.”

Ilya huffed wetly and nodded, a smile pulling at him. “I will.”

They looked at each other one last time, and Shane made sure to memorize Ilya’s face as much as he possibly could. Every mole, every blemish, every pore. “I love you,” Shane said again, but in Russian, hoping he wasn’t butchering the phrase. Then, in English: “So much.”

Ilya nodded once. “I love you.”

Then Ilya was basically throwing himself out the car and hauling his bags out the back hatch.

Shane watched Ilya walk toward the airport doors, not looking back. Only when Shane lost sight of him, did he close his eyes and rest his forehead on the steering wheel.

What a fucking summer, huh?

[tarantula-hawk-wasp]

I know that forehead kiss was life altering for both of them

[heatedrivalrysource]

New François Arnaud for Under Armour HeatGear

[sagescribbles]

saw someone say on twitter that montreal and boston are only a 5 hour drive apart, so why didn’t shane and ilya make the drive to see each other more often?

well, that would’ve meant taking their “relationship” wayyy more seriously than it really was

because that drive is the worst fucking drive i’ve ever taken. i have driven through the carolinas when damn near the entire interstate had been destroyed by a hurricane and that was more enjoyable. it takes half an hour to get out of montreal from downtown, then you got an hour waiting at the border crossing, then three hours of nothing but trees (IF there’s no road work in vermont), then you got that stupid toll road to get into massachusetts, only to exit the interstate and spend an hour going 10 more km into boston. a five hour trip quickly becomes seven because google maps LIES. leaving boston is somehow even more stressful because nobody in that horrible city knows how to fucking merge

the only person i will ever make this drive for is my best friend whom i’ve known since grade 3. hollanov were not even close to that. let’s not forget they weren’t taking whatever they had seriously until like ten years in.

sincerely,

someone who drove this stupid route two weeks ago and lost their sanity on vermont backroads on their way home

[sladucer]

Say it again in russian please...

[ihni]

First attempt at a linocut*

This one failed spectacularly, lol, because I had carved it in the wrong direction. Had to flip it in photoshop when I scanned it, so it's the right direction. But oh well, a learning opportunity!

(*= for the last month or so I've tried different kinds of printing, just to try them out, and I've used Hollanov as a subject simply because I had printed pictures of them lying around and it was convenient.)

[littlegirlinvisible]

ILYA ROZANOV WEEK: DAY SEVEN FREE CHOICE: ILYA ROZANOV IS A WORK OF ART (insp) The Fallen Angel, Alexandre Cabanel (1847) Psyche, Jean-Baptiste Greuze (1786) St. Sebastian, Luca Giordano (1653 –1655) The Pink Dress, Frederic Bazille (1864) Saturn Devouring One of His Sons, Francisco Goya (1819 –1823) Armida in Vain Endeavours with Her Entreaties to Prevent Rinaldo's Departure, Angelica Kauffman (1776) The fisherman and the nymph, Henri Lehmann (1837) Lake Nemi, Seen through Trees, Camille Corot (1843)

[hr-rep]

I’m always looking for good non-woobified Shane rec’s :] lol @mla-citation

Off The Leash by v197sstuff. This is one that works with against the trope in a very interesting way where the Internet Woobifies & feminizes the fuck outta Shane while the stark reality is kept in focus. If you haven’t read this one, I seriously recommend it.

Gossip Girl by Northisnotup. Vastly different vibe but this looks into Shane’s friendships and makes super clear that he is an Active Participant which I greatly enjoy. Easily one of my favorite Rose fics if that sells it!

falling into you by quinnfuhbeay. A look at what if Shane didn’t leave during the tuna melt scene and instead they entered into a weird phase of unclear relationship status (Ilya thinking they’re boyfriends, Shane thinks they’re just fucking).

Game Day. Ilya keeps dying, time keeps repeating. Shane is, obviously, suffering. A very frank portrayal of what this could do to a person.

Five and a Half Beers and Just as Many Chalupas by Erisenyo. LOVEEEE this fic, I can’t believe I’ve not recommended it before. Such awesome characterization, the premise is Shane getting to know the Centaurs & they realize he’s entirely different from what they expected. Seriously seriously enjoyed reading it and I routinely go back and reread for the love of the game.

[finny-red]

Summer sketch ☀️

[chubby-cry-baby]

shane and ilya swap jerseys during their last montreal vs boston game!!! its already public that ilya isn’t signing back with boston and it’s part of their 300 step plan of showing the public they’re friends before announcing the irina foundation.

its a show of respect as captains who have been playing against eachother for years and they weighed the pros and cons for weeks!! the pictures of them holding eachothers jerseys are very popular and circle back when they’re out and people start speculating the timeline.

[sherlockboylove]

I'm also Asian and I'm telling you're fuckass anons right now that if I was at a school party in the middle of the woods with a bunch of drunk, possibly high on some drugs white people and they've started saying, doing some racist shit and acting like nazis, I'm immediately going to feel unsafe and I'm keeping my mouth shut. There's no calling out racist behavior or speeches about racism. I'm gonna suck it up and I am playing it cool until I can get away.

This is the part where white people will never understand. Because yall keep saying he should've known something was being drawn on him, he should've done something about it blah blah blah. For us POC, sometimes the only way to stay safe is to be quiet. Because I sure as hell am not getting murdered by drunk racist white kids in the middle of the woods for that.

Yes it sucks. But I'd rather live.

YES YOU ARE SO RIGHT!!! I think it all comes down to white people being unable to conceptualize that sort of danger— to them, there’s no problem because they are often the ones causing it. I’ve been in situations where friends of friends have said some deeply fucked shit and I’ve felt like I had to stay silent because I didn’t know how they would react. Especially when you’re a teenager you tend to prioritize your own safety, and anyone who blames Hudson for acknowledging the danger he was potentially in (and frankly good on him for being able to do that while drunk) is someone I would not want around me when I’m forced to be around those people.

Real life is not a movie. Speeches about why Nazism is bad don’t do shit except put a target on your back. In the middle of the woods. While you are under the influence.

If Hudson knew what was happening (unlikely) and he did say something, who knows what his story would have been. I would like to hope that he would have made it out of the woods, but I truly can’t say that with confidence. And this is something that all the white people complaining will never understand. And I’m glad they don’t. I never want anyone to feel like we do. But they can’t claim that feeling doesn’t exist.

And this goes especially for Asians. We’re the expendable people of color, shoved to the side, tacked on at the end if we’re lucky. Would anyone have cared if one more kind, talented, brave, Asian boy went missing? Would they look for him? Would it make the news? Would anyone go to prison? Do we care about the missing and murdered Asian people that are missing and murdered right now?

Some people will never understand the true answers to those questions. And good, I don’t want them to. I don’t want them to have to live in our reality. But let’s not pretend it doesn’t exist, okay?

[shanesloverboy]

“Williams’ victory feels especially well deserved because Shane Hollander is not an easy character to portray. As we wrote in our review of the series, Williams delivers “a masterclass in micro-expressions and physical restraint.” Shane spends much of the story fighting against himself, suppressing emotions he barely allows himself to acknowledge, and Williams manages to communicate entire emotional arcs through a glance, a tense jaw, or a slight shift in posture. Every crack in Shane’s carefully constructed armor lands with devastating impact because of the work Williams puts in throughout the series.

Seeing that performance recognized on one of Canada’s biggest stages feels incredibly rewarding. Williams’ win is also historic in its own right. At just 25 years old, he became the youngest performer ever to win Best Lead Performer, Drama, at the Canadian Screen Awards, accomplishing the feat on his very first nomination.”

- Q+ Magazine

[rainbow-femme]

They move in together full time and Ilya notices that Anya acts differently with Shane than she does with him, more quiet and less playful, and he worries that means she doesn’t like Shane or is jealous, so he hires a dog trainer to come over and see if there’s anything they need to do to help

After a while of talking about how Anya acts the trainer says there’s nothing to worry about, Anya likes Shane just fine, it’s just that she sees him as the boss and is acting accordingly

And Ilya is like. But. I’m the one who adopted her? And raised her before Shane got here?? And the trainer is just like yeah well she sees you more like an equal. And Ilya is like WAIT she thinks Shane is in charge of both of us?? And the trainer is just like well do you interact in a way that would make her think that?

Ilya’s life flashes before his eyes as he thinks of all the times Shane has come over with a snack for Ilya and a treat for Anya, or all the times Shane has announced they’re all going for an after dinner walk, or pets Ilya’s hair and tells him he did a good job at practice, or the fact that he uses the same warning tone with Anya when she misbehaves as he does with Ilya when he’s causing problems on purpose

Shane comes home to Ilya with his face in his hands going oh god I’m not Anya’s dad I’m her brother and she thinks we’re both your pets. And Shane just goes. What.

[mymansmoon]

fluff? on mymansmoon? it's more likely than you think.

it's the year following s1. ilya is still in boston and shane is in montreal. they've just played a game against each other in boston and shane is staying over at ilya's house. after dinner they have a little fight about who's going to handle the dishes and ilya wins, play-snarling and biting at shane. shane rolls his eyes; ilya tells him to go into the living room and turn on the TV or something. so he does. settles into one corner of the couch. bundled top to toe in ilya's clothes: hoodie, sweats, socks. (he prefers his own, texturally, but he liked the principle of using everything of ilya's.)

he turns on some sports channel probably. five minutes later ilya comes into the room and flops onto the couch, head landing in shane's lap and the rest of his body stretching out lengthwise. he lets out a big 'ahh!' sound as he does and shane smiles, putting his hands on him. ilya turns onto his side so he can watch tv as well. maybe there's a hockey game on, i don't know. but they talk for a bit about whatever they're watching. relaxed observations traded back and forth. shane is absently playing with any part of ilya that he can easily reach. his hair, his ear, his neck, his shoulder. the night is winding down. they had a late dinner because they were having sex before. started the moment shane walked in the door. shane is full and relaxed. he has his favourite person in his lap. a silence descends on them both.

at some point something happens on the tv that warrants a comment from shane, but it receives no reply from ilya. "ilya?" he leans forward to check ilya's face and he's sleeping. eyes closed, mouth open. he's making those little clicking noises on his inhales that teeter on the edge of snoring. shane feels an unbearable swell of affection for him and watches him for a bit. then he very carefully reaches over to check the time on his phone. it's late. as much as he doesn't want to disturb ilya, he has an early flight out of boston tomorrow, and he isn't going to get a good night's sleep sitting up on this couch.

shane scratches ilya's scalp gently. "baby," he says. no response. he scratches him again, rubs his shoulder and then his jaw. "baby." ilya makes a noise and frowns, stirring a little. shane thinks his heart is going to burst out of his chest. "baby, let's go to bed," he says. this time ilya turns onto his back but keeps his eyes closed. he lifts his chin, sleepily asking for a kiss. shane smiles and gives it to him. soft warm press of lips for two seconds. when shane pulls back ilya sighs and makes a satisfied "hmmh" sound, before going still again. threatening to fall back asleep. shane's cheeks hurt. he rubs the backs of his fingers under ilya's chin. "hey, sleepyhead," he urges gently.

finally ilya inhales the inhale of a waking person, sudden and sharp and deep, and buries his face in shane's—rather, his own—hoodie. then he lifts himself off shane's lap. shane lets him go, reaching for the remote to shut the tv off while ilya yawns and rubs at his face in his periphery. he has groggy eyes. shane gets up and extends a hand to him; ilya takes it. shane pulls him up and leads him by the hand through the house, as familiar to shane now as his own place in montreal.

"I need to—" ilya gestures at the lights that are still on in the kitchen and entryway. "I've got it," shane says, and leaves ilya to hit all the appropriate switches. when he returns ilya is looking at him in a way. "what?" shane asks.

ilya shakes his head. "is just nice," he murmurs. "this is a little like your house now too."

shane breathes. takes ilya's hand again. "yeah," he says. he squeezes. the house is dark and blue-ish now. moonlight coming in through ilya's floor-to-ceiling windows. they look at each other for several long moments, then shane pulls ilya with him to the bedroom.

[russianblush]

#happypridemonth

[penandinkprincess]

shane picking up the way ilya says "wow wow" and developing a habit of saying it FULLY to himself when he's doing things as a vocal stim.

like t GOD he's always aware enough to not do it when he's mic'd up during a game, but wow wow makes a very regular appearance in his daily routine. almost knocked his protein powder off of the counter? wow wow. set a new lifting pr at the gym? wow wow. finished putting his laundry away? wow wow. getting out of the shower after a long day? wow wow.

and he was already doing it before he and ilya got together and is also so used to living alone that he doesn't think about it anymore, but this does mean that ilya 100% hears shane wow wowing under his breath at the cottage and is just ??? is this??? a joke??? he doesn't even know i'm listening??? what the fuck is this next level chirping???

[megankane]

underrated fic recs part 3

part one part two

some more really great fics under 5k hits on ao3 :) hope you enjoy & don’t forget to show some love to the authors!!

-

1. tell me what goes on behind closed doors by woodlands M, 5.1k

Rozanov purses his lips. “Probably you did not make out with old man Scott Hunter tonight, though.”

Shane bristles. “I did. I said I would.”

2. the stones and the boulders by smallestchurch M, 2.8k

it's after the after. after the sunset, back at the cottage, the comedown. a quiet conversation in the warm tub, night buzzing in through the open window. some ideas about the future. about what it's like to have one at all.

3. spitting blood like the golden sun god by deadcliche M, 1.3k

The camera zooms in and Rozanov’s licking blood from his teeth, grinning wide and vicious and victorious as the blood keeps drip drip dripping from his nose. And Shane… Shane wants to kiss Rosanov messy, wants to smear crimson across his lips, wants to taste the iron on Rozanov’s tongue, wants to feel the blood get sticky on his own skin.

Shane wants and wants and wants.

4. Always wants a little more by isevsianne E, 1.6k

The hotel room around them seems hot and airless. Shane feels ready, so anxious to get to the next part—isn't that what they both came here for? But every time he reaches for Rozanov’s dick, Rozanov knocks his hands away with a stern, "Not yet, Hollander."

But Shane is ready now and he doesn't want to be whiny about it, but fuck. It's not right that he has to keep his hands to himself.

5. your best american girl by running_like_a_plover E, 3.8k

Ilya Rozanov likes blondes. This is a known fact. It makes things easier somehow—safer. Like math. Girls Ilya likes = blonde. Shane = not blonde. So Shane goes a little bit insane after seeing photos of Ilya on a date with a mystery brunette, and Ilya shows him why it's not an issue.

Featuring: yearning, sex as character study, Shane Hollander's under-examined biracial Asian feelings, a little light dominance, and a conveniently placed bedroom mirror.

6. Do What You Want To Me by ToastMaloneIII E, 1.3k

They don't fuck in Nashville, but boy do they get close.

7. Gambit by grailquest E, 4.8k

Sometimes Liliya thinks this is her favourite part: her fingers hovering above the chess piece, the heartbeat of stillness before her move. Pure potential. She could make Jane crawl across the floor, kiss her feet, beg. She could make Jane bark like a dog.

8. Swagger by siegeofangels E, 1.5k

Ilya is going to have a heat and Shane is going to knot him as many times as Ilya asks. He can do this. It can't be worse than the combine.

9. dad toques by nomadsland T, 2.2k

David Hollander knows that he’s supposed to hate Ilya Rozanov. Yuna has laid it out for him several times in painstaking detail, twice with the help of a slide deck on her computer. David can name many of the reasons he’s supposed to hate Ilya Rozanov...

10. A Side Door into the Dark by magnetica NR, 8.9k

Amundsen-Scott Station, Antarctica

—

In grad school the only flirting he had mastered was the strategic deployment of phrases like ‘oh, really?’ and ‘is that so?’ It was brought to his attention by one of his more regular hookups in the kitchen of his apartment while they were cooking dinner, and he had said whenever Shane wanted to fuck he started talking like a coastal elite college girl who’d never had to ask for it outright. Now, in this strange point of contact with Ilya where it was obvious something vaguely carnal had passed between them, he thought about emulating his particular brand of assured charm. Whatever ideas he’d concocted devolved rather quickly into his own unintentional directness, and he said, “Does it scare you?”

“Does climatology scare you?” Ilya’s face was measured and calm, his foot still pressed against the curved joint above Shane’s heel.

“Yeah,” the word came out like a laugh, “it does, actually. A lot.”

bonus: After The Break, We Chat With Raiders Captain Ilya Rozanov by harmonic_oblivion G, 1.8k

On the first day of the WEEI/NESN Jimmy Fund Radio Telethon, a staple of the Boston sports broadcasting world, Boston Raiders captain Ilya Rozanov comes on the NESN broadcast to talk about winning the cup, the upcoming hockey season, and giving back to the city he plays for.