yikes.

30/f/bi - fandom and misc shit

[only-cat-memes]

[marine-biolo-tree]

A dream I had... he didn't know the counterplay

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

Your partner came back from the dead after being missing for decades. Every one of their friends who they went with ended up dying a horrible death.

Now, somehow, their entire mental health is based on the continued life and happiness of this fairground goldfish that they picked up.

Neither of you know the first thing about how to care for even a healthy fish. This fish has been poorly cared for, has multiple diseases and the person who handed it over explicitly didn't expect it to live nearly as long as it already has.

You're frantically googling how to set up a fish tank, where to buy fish food, can you even take a fish to the vet? Your partner wants you to know that they're happy they made it home and survived their horrific ordeal, but also that if anything happens to the fish then they're going to kill everyone on this planet and then themself.

You're honestly wondering if you're even helping the fish, or just prolonging its suffering, but your partner will only accept medical help for their many injuries or engage in basic self-care once they're confident that the fish is being looked after.

So you get a tank. You set up a filter and all that stuff. You learn way more than you ever wanted to know about water temperature and ph and nitrate levels. The fish is safe. You start to develop some affection for the little guy. Your partner begins to recover. The fish begins to recover.

Which is when you learn that in its 'healthy' state, the fish regularly refuses to sleep when tired, keeps begging for food that is obviously unhealthy for it (and struggling to eat the food that you do provide because “it tastes gross”), and continually tries to persuade your partner to take it out of its nice safe tank so it can go explore the wonderful world of Outside, where the slightest mishap will kill it instantly.

Your name is Adrian, and you kind of wants to strangle this fucking fish, statement.

[bimboficationblues]

legal procedural about a sleazebag lesbian lawyer cruising divorce court to pick up emotionally vulnerable women by helping turn up dirt on their husbands

[treffyfrinn]

Frodo Baggins Anemia Moodboard

[theosvangogh-deactivated2021041]

“Lord Byron gets up at two. I get up, quite contrary to my usual custom … at 12. After breakfast we sit talking till six. From six to eight we gallop through the pine forest which divide Ravenna from the sea; we then come home and dine, and sit up gossiping till six in the morning. I don’t suppose this will kill me in a week or fortnight, but I shall not try it longer. Lord B.’s establishment consists, besides servants, of ten horses, eight enormous dogs, three monkeys, five cats, an eagle, a crow, and a falcon; and all these, except the horses, walk about the house, which every now and then resounds with their unarbitrated quarrels, as if they were the masters of it… . [P.S.] I find that my enumeration of the animals in this Circean Palace was defective … . I have just met on the grand staircase five peacocks, two guinea hens, and an Egyptian crane. I wonder who all these animals were before they were changed into these shapes.”

— Percy Bysshe Shelley on the lifestyle of Lord Byron (via timemarauder)

[fluffmugger]

#i am glad history has produced at least two people whose shit was even less together than mine

[hometoursandotherstuff]

The story behind this photo is that John Jurasek, (aka Reviewbrah), a YouTube food reviewer known for dressing in formal attire, was reviewing Red Bull's summer Kiwi Twist flavor, when his cat, Willie, jumped up and confidently laid down in front of him.

[sunderwight]

Stop volunteering to be the village sacrifice we all know you're not a virgin. The dragon probably wouldn't even be into you.

[sunderwight]

Untie yourself from that altar right now.

[sunderwight]

Look. I didn't want to say anything because it's kind of a touchy subject, but the dragon doesn't actually take these "brides" back to its lair full of riches and add them to a harem. Okay? It's a big fucking lizard with a brain the size of an orange, it just roasts and eats them.

[sunderwight]

That's why we always pick the most useless airhead to sacrifice come harvest season.

[sunderwight]

Now come on, get those chains off. Where did you even get these? Oh you made them? See that's the kind of craftsmanship the village needs you for. We'll have a big orgy after the ritual and if you want a bunch of us will dress up as dragons and take turns having a go at you. It'll be nice, you'll see.

[sunderwight]

Yes, yes, I know, not the same. Well not all dreams are attainable, in the end.

[weepingwidar]

Walter Grab (Swiss, 1927-1989) - La Famille (The Family) (1953)

[ferryfoam]

This is so stupid

[strawberrydykke]

opened up ravelry to look at patterns and the very first thing i saw was

The Garment by Robert Cole

[littlebirdinagarden]

I had to immediately look for myself and I feel like this post needs the addition of the very first line in the pattern description

[miamaimania]

Untitled (sandal-cat) ✦ Esther Calvo — carved hybrid of high heel and feline

[mankillercalledbunny]

GIANT STATUE FIGHT

AKA HEY TUMBLR WHO WANTS TO DO A BRACKET

so I'm doing this as a fun activity with some friends and I thought HEY TUMBLR LOVES A GOOD POLL

so anyway who wants to do some fun and totally subjective art competition? This is a 16 statue bracket, 8 starting categories and 4 founds. Gonna add all the rounds as reblogs

Round 1

Category 1: National Heroes

The Statue of Unity vs the Genghis Khan Equestrian Statue!

The Statue of Unity in Narmada Valley, Gujarat, India is 182m/597ft tall and depicts Indian politician and independence activist Sardar Patel (1875–1950), who was the first deputy prime minister and home minister of independent India. (It’s actually 240 m (790 ft) if you include the 58 m (190 ft) base and is the tallest statue in the world)

The Genghis Khan equestrian statue in Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia memorialises the Mongol emperor. It is 40m/130ft tall (not including the base which is 10m/33 ft tall), it is the tallest equestrian statue in the world. For scale: people, bottom right. Most importantly: like its namesake, it FUCKS!

National Heroes

Statue of Unity

Genghis Khan Equestrian Statue

Remaining time: 2 days 7 minutes

[mankillercalledbunny]

Category 2: Battle of the Buddhas

The Leshan Giant Buddha vs the Ushiku Daibutsu!

The Leshan Giant Buddha in Leshan, Sichuan, China is 71m/233ft tall, and is the largest and tallest stone Buddha in the world! Look at him, he’s so chill. I want his vibe

The Ushiku Daibutsu (Buddha statue of Ushiku temple) is 100m/328.1ft tall, not including the 20m/65.6ft base, and is Japan's largest daibutsu. Still got that chill energy but now with posing!

Battle of the Buddhas

Leshan Giant Buddha

Ushiku Daibutsu

Remaining time: 16 minutes

[mankillercalledbunny]

Category 3: Cultural Icons

The Statue of Liberty vs Christ the Redeemer!

The Statue of Liberty (officially Liberty Enlightening the World) is on Liberty Island, NYC, USA, and is 46m/141ft tall on its own or 93m/305ft including the base. She is also the target of every crashing alien spaceship to come to NYC.

Aka that big fuckoff Jesus in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. He is 30m/98ft high, plus the 8m/26ft pedestal, with an arm span of 28m/92ft. He’s 16m shorter than Liberty, and the fact illustrations of them together make him look taller instead of showing that he is comparatively a Short King is a travesty.

Cultural Icons

Statue of Liberty

Christ the Redeemer

Remaining time: 21 minutes

[mankillercalledbunny]

Category 4: Sacred Symbols

Ten Directions Samantabhadra Bodhisattva vs The Angel of the North!

The Ten Directions Samantabhadra Bodhisattva is 48m/157.4ft and sits at Huazang Temple on the Golden Summit of Mount Emei in Sichuan Province, China. It’s not called the Bo-deca-sattva, but I think that would be hilarious.

This tribute to Northern English workers is 20m/66ft tall and has a wingspan of 54m/177ft. The vertical ribs on its body and wings serve to redirect the wind to keep it from toppling over, up to winspeeds of 100mph (160 km/h). Didn't realise angels had so many ribs, I thought it was a million eyes, but you learn something new every day.

Sacred Symbols

Ten Directions

Angel of the North

Remaining time: 27 minutes

[mankillercalledbunny]

Category 5: Fuck Colonialism

Mactan Shrine Lapu-Lapu vs Guerrero Chimalli!

Mactan Shrine's statue of Lapu-Lapu, the indigenous leader who led the resistance that killed Magellan, is 20m/66ft tall in Lapu-Lapu, Philippines. Fuck Magellan, all my homies hate Magellan

The Guerrero Chimalli is a 60m/197ft giant red sculptural statue in Mexico City of an Indigenous shield warrior on Bordo de Xochiaca Avenue, in Chimalhuacán, State of Mexico. Probably the most abstract on this list aside from maybe the Angel of the North

Fuck Colonialism

Lapu-Lapu

Guererro Chimalli

Remaining time: 2 days 34 minutes

[mankillercalledbunny]

Category 6: Stone Colossi

The Apennine Colossus vs the Colossi of Memnon!

The Apennine Colossus in Vaglia, Tuscany, Italy is 11m/36ft high and is a representation of the spirit of the Apennine mountains, and was built in the 1580s. Is this guy why they call that one lichen Old Man’s Beard?

The Colossi of Memnon in Luxor are a pair of stone statues of the Pharaoh Amenhotep III, are 18m/60ft tall, and have stood since 1350BCE. The oldest and most fucked up on this list

Stone Colossi

Apennine Colossus

Colossi of Memnon

Remaining time: 2 days 44 minutes

[mankillercalledbunny]

Category 7: Creative Creatures

Pegasus and Dragon vs the Big Biue Bear!

Pegasus and Dragon in Miami, Florida, USA is 34m/110ft tall, third largest in the US, and also the largest equine and dragon statue. Apparently there are enough of them for that to be a distinct category? wild

Officially "I See What You Mean", this bear in Denver, Colorado, USA is 12m/40ft tall. It is peering into the convention centre and is visible from the entire atrium! I went to primary school with the artist’s kid lol

Creative Creatures

Pegasus and Dragon

Big Blue Bear

Remaining time: 2 days 54 minutes

[mankillercalledbunny]

Category 8: Sculpted Defiance (last category of Round 1)

Mother Ukraine vs Warrior on Horseback!

Mother Ukraine in Kyiv stands 62m/203ft tall, and in 2023 had the communist symbolism on her shield replaced with the tryzub symbol of Ukraine in response to the Russian invasion. Potentially hot take but I honestly think the Tryzub has a much better balance than the Communist symbolism, we love a simplistic beauty

The Warrior on Horseback is a 12m/39ft statue of Alexander the Great in Skopje, North Macedonia. It is on top of a 10m/33ft pedestal and a fountain. The foreign minister told the Guardian it was an "up yours" to Greece (direct quote!) over historical disputes re: Macedonia, and that’s frankly hilarious

Sculpted Defiance

Mother Ukraine

Warrior on Horseback

Remaining time: 2 days 59 minutes

This is the final Round One category!!! Also I realised I fucked up and made some of the rounds 24 hours bc I forgot to change the setting, I am so sorry gang

[chainmail-butch]

Hi, its me. The warmest creature in the world. I love you. Im the warmest creature in the world and I love you so much and I need to be in your lap right now. Yes, I know about the heat wave. That's okay though because I was already the warmest creature in the world so I don't mind. I love you and you need to let me sleep in your lap right now. I'm soooo warm and I love you sooo much. If you say no you'll be saying no to a thing that love you. Let me sleep in your lap. When I fall asleep I get warmer. I love you

[7pleiades7]

Girl in Chair (1992) by Cornelie Tollens (Dutch, born 1964)

[marciaillust]

the memoir of a ghost

[libraryleopard]

my sister (massive hotd fan) didn't appreciate me saying that tom glynn-carney "looks like the someone they'd cast as young wormtongue in a lord of the rings prequel" so i had to quickly whip out canva to prove my point