Villain clutched their undoubtedly broken ribs and stared up at Superhero from their position on the ground. Their glare would be more effective were it not so pained.
Superhero stared back idly, as if dealing with a minor annoyance. "Any last words before I rid this world of your pathetic existence?"
"I thought heroes didn't kill people."
"Yes, well. Not officially." Superhero delivered a hard kick to Villain's jaw, knocking them down. "But accidents happen."
Villain spit out the fresh blood in their mouth and tried to stop their head from spinning. "Does the agency know their trophy hero is a murderer?"
Superhero smiled. "Oh, darling. Who do you think handles the coverup?"
So what, were all heroes like this then? Were they morals just an act? Hero wouldn't do this. Their Hero wouldn't. But their Hero wasn't here to save them.
As if reading their mind, Superhero spoke again. "Shame Hero isn't here to see this. I'm sure they'd love to come and give their little speach about being better than our enemies, but they got a little...caught up at the headquarters."
"Why do I get the feeling you had something to do with that?"
Superhero flashed their public smile. The one they gave to the press and city officials. Villain knew their real smile was much darker. "I'm sure I don't know what you mean."
Based on this prompt by my beloved @puddleslimewrites <3
Hero didn't shrink under Superhero's gaze. They stared back, expression firm. "I know I messed up. But I did what I could to fix it and no one got killed."
"There are three civilians in critical condition in the hospital. You don't know no one got killed yet."
"What else do expect me to do? I did my best to make it right."
"I expect better from a hero of the agency!" Superhero tried not to raise their voice. They and Hero were standing in one of the agency hallways, this argument was far too public.
Hero crossed their arms and glared back at Superhero. "I never even wanted to be a hero! This is what you wanted. I did what you asked of me and look where it got us."
"You mean where you got us. Do you understand how much damage control I'm going to have to do with the press because of this? And with the agency and city officials?"
"Is that all you care about? The mess I made that you have to clean up? Don't you even care how this might be affecting me? Or I don't know, can't you at least be proud of me for taking responsibility and trying to fix it?"
Superhero sighed like they were dealing with a disobedient child that refused to go to bed. "I don't have time to hold your hand right now, I have the agency to deal with."
"Oh my god can you not be Superhero for one fucking minute and just be my mom?"
Superhero pinched the bridge of her nose. "We'll talk about this later. Just go home."
"I'm not a little kid you can just send to my room for timeout anymore. You-"
"[Name], go. home." Superhero shot her child a warning look. Hero held her gaze until she turned and started walking down the hall.
Hero resisted the urge to yell at her as they turned the opposite direction and stormed out.
Taking care of a baby, as it turns out, is not easy. Villain has absolutely no clue what they're doing.
Their recent search history is full of things like "How to change a diaper" "What do you feed babies" and "How to stop your cat from hissing at a baby"
That last one was probably a less universal parenthood experience, but Villain's snooty cat was not particularly happy with the new team member.
Another thing that Villain had learned within the following day after bringing the child home, was that they probably should have checked the baby's gender before picking a name. But that was less important, Chance could be a girl's name if Villain said so. Social rules weren't really their thing anyway.
Over the next few days, Villain acquired all manner of baby things. And also a lot of parenting books.
After several days of doing nothing but trying to figure out how to care for an infant, Villain realized they had to get back to doing villain things. But they couldn't exactly leave the child alone all day while they were out fighting heroes...
A day later, Vigilante stood in Villain's living room looking very unimpressed. "Where did you even get that."
"Her name is Chance and I found her in the wreckage after fighting hero last week."
"And you kept it because...?"
"Because despite what the news thinks I'm not a monster." Villain huffed. "Now are you going to watch your new niece while I make an appearance for the heroes or not."
"You must be desperate if you're going to trust me with a child."
Villain shot their younger sibling a look. "Is that a yes?"
Vigilante sighed. "Unfortunately."
"Great!" Villain passed Chance to Vigilante and started gathering a few things. "I'll only be gone a few hours. She'll probably nap for most of that time anyway."
Vigilante soon found themself standing alone in Villain's house reluctantly holding a bright eyed baby.
Villain's cat was on the other side of the room, glaring daggers at the child.
Vigilante raised an eyebrow at the animal. "Don't look at me like that. I'm on your side in this."
Villain coughed as they pulled themself out of the wreckage. The wreckage the heroes caused, but would surely be blamed on them in tomorrow's news. Their knees gave out immediately the first time they tried to stand, pain went shooting through their side.
Sitting on the ground, they surveyed the damage. There was a gruesome gash on their side, probably caused by the broken chunks of stone ceiling they had been buried under. Their ribs were probably fractured, if not broken.
Carefully, ever so carefully, they managed to stand up. With a hand clutching their side they started limping in the vague direction of their base, planning to get home, do the bare minimum required to treat their wounds and pass out.
And that's when they heard it.
Crying. A baby crying. It sounded close. Too close.
It only took a minute or two of looking around to find the source of the sound. It was a struggle to lift the debris given the state they were in, but Villain managed. It was in fact a baby, and probably the only reason it had survived was because who Villain assumed to be its mother had used herself to shield it. They frowned at the sight. Another causality caused by heroes' disregard for civilians. This too, would probably be blamed on them.
Villain wasn't sure what to do. They couldn't take the child in somewhere, they'd be arrested on the spot. And they couldn't leave it here either, who knows when someone would come back to clean up the mess. It wouldn't survive here on its own.
They really only had one option.
"Uh, hey there, little buddy." the Villain said awkwardly as they tried to scoop the wailing baby up into their injured arms. "could you maybe, uh, stop crying? Please? It's a long walk back to my house and I'd rather not draw attention..."
Unsurprisingly, the baby did not comply.
They frowned but didn't know what else to do. What they did know was if they stood here much longer their legs were gonna give out again. So they began the slow, and painful, trek home.
Eventually, the baby did stop crying. Perhaps it just exhausted itself. Whatever the reason, Villain was grateful. By the time they made it home the baby had fallen asleep. They laid it down on the sofa and dragged themself to the bathroom to deal with the gash in their side, the rest could wait until they rested.
When they came back, the baby was awake and crying again. They gathered it into their arms and sunk into the couch. "....Sorry about your mom little guy. The heroes are pretty reckless."
They could feel themself getting closer to passing out. "You're lucky I found you, though it was purely by chance....Chance, huh? That seems like a pretty good name for you."
Their eyelids slipped closed as they fell asleep with the baby in their arms and mumbled. "Welcome to the dark side, Chance."
Villainess had just settled in on her sofa to watch some TV before bed when she heard a crash in her bedroom. At first she had thought her rabbit had simply gotten into something again, but she could see her happily eating her hay across the room, so that couldn't be it.
Villainess sighed and pushed her throw blanket aside, dragging herself to check her bedroom.
"What are you doing?" Villainess stood in the doorway, staring at Heroine sprawled out on her floor.
"Uhh." Heroine quickly stood up. "Surprise?"
Villainess gave her little sister an unimpressed stare.
Heroine fidgeted for a second before giving in. "Okay, okay! I have a date tonight and have nothing good to wear and that dark blue mini dress you have would look perfect with my new shoes and-"
"You broke into my apartment through the window to borrow a dress?"
"...Yes?"
Villainous groaned. "You can't keep stealing my stuff! You're twenty-four years old! Buy your own clothes!"
"But yours are always cooler!" Heroine whined. She looked at her older sister with puppy eyes. "Please?"
"....Fine. But this is the last time."
Heroine threw herself at Villainess in a hug. "Thank you thank you!" she pulled back. "Can I wear your butterfly necklace too-"
Hero watched the kids run around the park searching for brightly coloured eggs. It was the city's annual Easter egg hunt and Hero was there in uniform as a sort of community-goodwill thing.
They smiled softly as they watched a little blonde girl excitedly show off a pretty light blue egg but their smile faltered a little when they noticed who she was showing it to.
They blinked as they processed that yes, that was Villain the little girl ran up to and yes, Villain did greet her with a big smiled as they bent down to admire her egg and give her a pat on the head.
After getting over their surprise, they went straight over to them.
Villain groaned internally when they noticed who was coming towards them.
"Why are you here?" Hero asked.
Before responding, Villain bent down to talk to the girl again. "Anna, why don't you go back to searching okay? Can you go find me a pretty green egg?"
Anna agreed enthusiastically and skipped away with her basket in search of a green egg.
Villain turned back to Hero and met their questioning gaze with a flat look of their own. "What? I can't take my niece to a public event now?"
"Your...you have a niece?" was for some reason, all Hero could think of to say.
"I don't see why you're so surprised. We know nothing about each other's private lives."
"I know it's just...I guess I just never pictured you liking kids."
Villain glared. "Because I'm the bad guy I can't care about my family?"
"That's not- I didn't mean it like that..." Hero muttered.
"Sure. And I see you're here playing mascot for the city. Did you agree to do this or did the agency do it for you?"
"The agency thinks it's important to maintain public relations." Hero shrugged.
"Shouldn't you get the day off to spend with your own family?"
"Don't have any to spend it with."
Villain was quiet for a moment, watching as Anna showed off her eggs to other kids. "...After this I'm dropping Anna off at her parents' house. I don't have any plans after that. We could...get food or something. Since neither of us have anything to do..."
Villain actually seemed shy about asking. Hero was surprised, but their expression quickly changed to a soft smile. "I'd like that."
Hero felt the bed shake as their partner started to get up and they reluctantly opened their eyes. "Where are you going?" they mumbled tiredly.
"To get ready for work." came their partner's plain reply.
"You mean get ready for another day of pretending to hate each other."
"I do, yes." Villain chuckled.
Hero grabbed their wrist and gently pulled them back down. "How 'bout we just skip work today."
Their cat, who had been sound asleep by the Villian's side, meowed in protest of all the movement.
Villain sighed fondly. "You know we can't do that, love."
"Why not? If you're skipping work too there's no one for me to fight." Hero had managed to wrap themself around Villain again.
"The other villians?"
"The other heroes can handle them." Hero nuzzled their face into Villian's neck. "Stay with me." they said in a muffled voice.
It was only now that Villain realized that over the course of the conversation, Hero had trapped them. With Hero's arms around their torso and their body partially on top of them, Villain couldn't get up.
"Hero-" Villain cut themself off when they realized Hero was asleep. There was no way they could get up without waking the other....
They noted that the cat had taken it upon itself to settle in on top of their other arm as well.
With another sigh, Villain accepted their defeat and settled back in, placing a soft kiss on the Hero's hair.
"Fine. You win." they whispered softly. "We'll stay home today."
"You hesitated. You always hesitate. Why?" Hero stared down at the Villain pinned under their blade.
"You're imagining things." Villian huffed.
"You could have killed me a few minutes ago and you didn't. You clearly don't want to fight me, so why are you?"
"As if I'd tell you anything." Villian took advantage of Hero's lowered guard to get out of the hold and get away, leaving Hero with just as many questions and no answers.
~
The next time Hero saw Villain they fell to their knees a few minutes into the fight, clutching their side.
"Are you alright?"
"I'm fine. Stay out of it." Villain winced as they pushed themself up. "Stop standing there and fight me."
"I'm not going to fight someone who can barely stand."
"I'm fine."
"No, you're not."
"Fight me."
"No."
"You have to."
"Why?" Hero asked, desperate for a real answer this time. "Why do you insist on fighting me when you're injured? Why are you forcing yourself to attack me?"
"Because I don't have a choice!" Villain shouted, clenching their fist. Their eyes widened slightly when they realized their accidental confession. "Shit."
"What do you mean? Why don't you have a choice?"
Villain glared. "Why do you care?"
"Because I want to help you."
They laughed. It was sad and empty. "Yeah, right. You just want me to let my guard down so you can lock me up."
Hero took a careful few steps towards their enemy. They're not sure if they should be calling them that anymore. "I swear I just want to help. Please. Let me help."
"You heroes are so desperate to help everyone. Have you ever considered there are things you have no place helping with? Or do you just not care as long as you get the credit?"
"No, I-"
"Save it. You can't help me." with that Villain ran from another unfinished fight, aware of the consequences but not caring as long as it ended this conversation.
~
Villain let out a breath as they stepped into their home (If they could even call it that) but quickly tensed when they heard a voice from the doorway.
"You're back early. Again. You better tell me it's because you won this time." Supervillain did not look impressed.
"...No. They got away." Villian muttered, eyes downcast.
"You've been losing a lot lately." Supervillain stepped around behind them. "I thought yesterday's training would have helped strengthen your resolve." they placed their hands on Villian's shoulders and leaned in. "Maybe you need another round. Or perhaps it's time to start training your little brother instead."
Villian felt themself tense even more. "No. Leave him alone. I'll do it."
Supervillain smiled. "I knew I raised a smart kid."
Inspired by this prompt by @phantomgl1tch / @phantomgl1tchh
"And why did you bring it to our battle?" Villain asked incredulously.
"I couldn't just leave him home. He'd be lonely." Hero smiled down at the happy looking pooch in their arms.
"And how exactly do you expect to fight with that...thing in your arms?" Villain eyed the dog wearily.
"Hey, watch it. 'That thing' is my new son." Hero warned, hugging the chocolate lab puppy protectively.
"You have got to be kidding me."
"You'll help me beat Villain, right Steak?" Hero cooed as they set the puppy on the ground. "Go get 'em boy!"
Steak stared at Hero with a cheerfully blank expression, clearly not understanding the request but happy about the attention.
Villain watched the Hero try to get the dog to listen for several painful minutes before finally speaking. "Can we get to the fight now? Please?"
Hero sighed in defeat. "Fine." They gave the dog a pat on the head. "Don't worry, bud. You'll get 'em next time."
"Next time? Don't tell me you're planning on bringing that thing to a fight again?"
Before Hero could respond, something caught Steak's attention and he suddenly ran towards Villain and Villain shrieked, quickly backing away.
Hero stared in shocked confusion, then realization. "Wait...are you...afraid of dogs?"
"What? Of course not. The blasted thing just startled me, that's all-" Villain cut themself off with another shriek that was extremely unfitting for the city's top criminal.
"Oh my god you are."
Villain very much did not appreciate the amusement in Hero's voice. They glared. "Whatever. Just get it away from me."
Hero did not get it away. Instead, Hero stood still and watched as the puppy started tugging on the laces of Villian's boots.
"Get it off get it off get it off!"
"Aw, he likes you." Hero was definitely enjoying this too much.
"If you don't get it away from me right now you're not gonna have a dog for much longer." The threat was less effective when the Villain was freaking out over a puppy at their feet.
"You hurt him and I will literally kill you."
Villian finally shook the dog off their boot and shot Hero a deadly look. "I'm leaving. If you ever decide you're ready to fight come back without the mutt."
Hero watched the Villain storm off at a brisk pace and then glanced down at their floppy furball who was currently sprawled on its back with its tongue out, looking utterly harmless. They smirked a little. "Guess you helped me beat Villain after all, huh buddy?"
