I AM TARKUS

THE NAME IS TARKUS. NOBODY CAN STOP ME. NOT DRAGONS OR EVEN AN IRON GOLEM. YOU KNOW WHAT IT TOOK TO KILL ME? A SEVERAL HUNDRED FOOT DROP OFF A GODSDAMNED RAFTER. WHO THE HELL DESIGNS A PLACE LIKE THIS. STUPID CITY OF SUNLIGHT. (RP Blog for Black Iron Tarkus. We know he's got the power. But where does it come from? ASK HIM AND SEE.)

[the-tarkus]

littleverit:

Comparatively, Verit was small to normal humans - a knight of Berenike? She was tiny next to Black Iron Tarkus. His comment, however, sparked a fading memory - a brief encounter years ago. 

“I… I do not think such a thing is possible, Sir Tarkus.” Verit responded, managing a small smile. Considering their first encounter had him barreling through a wall… and then him picking her up and carrying her to Firelink…

“I have been… well. And yourself?”

@the-tarkus

“YES.” The knight nods solemnly, his arms crossed. “YOU SEEM TO BE DOING WELL. YOUR MAGIC STUDIES AND SUCH ARE GOING WELL I ASSUME?”  He gasped dramatically and raised a gauntlet to his mouth. “YOU DIDN’T.... DIE, DID YOU?”

[littleverit-deactivated20180507]

There is a sound like rumbling thunder as the sound of massive footsteps draw ever closer before the door is flung open and a familiar black iron helmet appears in the door frame. "I HEARD MY NAME, LITTLE VERIT. NO NEED FEAR, FOR I AM HERE."

There’s a yelp as the door is flung open, the massive man in black armor causing her to freeze in surprise and terror. Eyes wide, she can only stare. “I-I, erm… H-hello, sir..?”

[the-tarkus]

“I HEARD YOU WERE SPEAKING ABOUT ME. SO I CAME AS QUICK AS MY LEGS COULD CARRY ME. HOW ARE YOU, YOUNG VERIT?” The Berenike knight wasn’t as large as some of his brethren but his voice still managed to shake the room, even at normal volume. 

“DON’T TELL YOU’VE FORGOTTEN ABOUT ME?”

[the-tarkus]

''You angered the wrong woman, fuckboy!" | I.J. |

“COME AT ME, SMALL TINY WOMAN.”

[jenessa-mercier]

Writing Commissions Open!

[jenessa-mercier]

I made the post a few months back but I figured I’d go ahead and post it again for those of you who may or may not have seen the original post (frankly, I don’t want to go diving for it.) 

Basically, I’ll be running a very simple commission system.  1 cent = 1 word. 1,000 words equals ten dollars and so on and so forth. Delivery will depend on how much you want written.  You request the length/amount you want, you tell me what to write, I write a 200 word or so sample and send it to you. If you like it, I request partial payment and will keep you updated as I write. When its completed, I’ll request the rest and you get the completed writing.  Again, you dictate the length and what the drabble is about.  I have no issues writing NSFW if that is what you are interested in commissioning. If its an original character or world, I will need some sort of information on the setting, situation, etc etc. I have the right to refuse a commission from anybody at anytime.  If you’re interested, send me a private message or email me at: [email protected].  If you have any questions, please ask and I will clarify.

I would like the chance to write something/anything at this point. 

[Open again due being let go from Target and I don’t want to beg for cash. So until stated otherwise, these’ll be open.]

[jenessa-mercier]

[I have enough money for this next month’s rent and food but that’s it. Six weeks. Any kind of work is appreciated. Please spread the word and/or commission something. I’ll write whatever at this point.]

[axemurderercreighton-deactivate]

The cell door rattles once as the black knight attempts to open the gate before there is a huff of indignation and the metal bars are forcibly torn from their hinges and hurled aside. In strolls a man robust and strong, clad in black iron armor. He spares a glance at the axey knight sitting upon the floor and nods in greeting. "HELLO, SIR. YOU SEEM TO BE IN A PREDICAMENT."

The axe murderer freezes in place, perhaps if he stays perfectly still the BAD ASS FROM BERENIKE will over look him. 

[the-tarkus]

The huge knight lumbers over and stands beside the axey knight before poking him with his greatsword. His arms are a massive tower shield with an oak tree emblazoned upon it and a mighty sword he wields like a twig. His voice is like thunder in the enclosed space, loud and booming with little room to go but within one’s ears.  “ARE YOU ASLEEP GOOD SIR? YOUR RESCUE HAS ARRIVED FOR YOU. THE WAY OUT IS CLEAR, AXIEL ONE.”

[the-tarkus]

There is the sound of rumbling in the distance. 

[the-tarkus]

Return

Another traveler attempting the perilous path to the city of the Gods, the Undead stumbling upon an unfamiliar summon sign and touching it to bring some aid into the world. The silence was broken by the sound of the phantom materializing, a massive knight with a massive sword and shield to match.  Before the Undead could react, he had sprinted for the fogdoor that contained the final guardian and was gesturing violently for the Undead to pass through it. Stepping beside him with a nervous excitement, he was bowled over instantly as the phantom dashed past him.  Raising his gaze, he witnessed what he only thought was impossible: the knight soaring through the ear via a jump easily thirty feet and piercing the Iron Golem through the chest, the monstrosity collapsing and dissolving as the knight flexed on top of the defeated construction.  "I AM TAAAARKUS."

[catladyofficial]

the best headline i’ve ever read.

[witch---image-deactivated201902]

yes. apparently a kid was screaming in line behind him about wanting pie, so he bought every single one. 23 pies. then slowly ate them as he stared at the kid and kid’s mom.

[r-u-seri0us]

This is amazing

[soft-butch-cassidy]

OKAY so my mom found this article (or one about the same event) on Facebook. Basically what happened was, this guy went into BK with a headache, and while he was in line this kid and his mother enter the restaurant. The kid begins throwing a fit, screaming (I quote) “I want a fucking pie!” This is a child, mind you. His mother, on the phone, ignores the kid. The man’s headache got worse because of this screaming kid and he asked the woman if she could control her child. She told him to stop telling him how to raise her kid and went back to talking on the phone. So the guy orders his burger and all the pies they had- 23. He proceeded to the exit, only to hear the woman yell, “What do you mean, you don’t have any pies?” The cashier helplessly points out the man who bought all the pies. Our hero, to rub salt in the wound, slowly starts eating a pie before leaving.

[izzyhill]

[camiekahle-deactivated20190815]

THIS IS THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN

[macncheese-blog]

I’VE BEEN TRYING TO FIND THIS FOR SEVEN YEARS

DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW HARD IT IS TO ?????

[amethystthe-gem-deactivated2016]

I’m fucking dying

[vanillish-deactivated20211102]

[riannafinch]

somebody put this in a time capsule because it is so important that future generations see this

[superstreetfighter2turbohdremix]

how can this much occur in three seconds

[the-tarkus]

136 FOLLOWERS?!!

"IF ONLY I SAID MORE INSPIRING THINGS TO THESE PEOPLE. HRM. PERHAPS I SHOULD BOTHER SOMEBODY OF THE PEOPLE'S CHOOSING? WHO SHOULD I BOTHER?"

[the-tarkus]

... Lordgenome?

"TARKUS."

[alicia-dehlian]

A Father Searching for his Children

"My name is Javed Mercier. I have come to this land in order to find my children; the two of them…

Hey all, you should go follow this individual, if any of you are familiar with jenessa-the-darkmoon then trust me when I say this is a must~

[fading-ember-deactivated2016091]

the-tarkus replied to your post:So, apperantly people think Tark is Tarkus? How? …

"THE FUCK DID YOU SAY?!!"

"Tarkus, shut up, start acting more dead. Besides, you should take it as a compliment I wasn’t calling you a scorpion."

[the-tarkus]

"SCORPIONS ARE AMAZING. YOU DARE INSULT ME?"

[fading-ember-deactivated2016091]

"Yeah, I do, wana go?"

[the-tarkus]

"As you wish."

[fading-ember-deactivated2016091]

the-tarkus replied to your post:So, apperantly people think Tark is Tarkus? How? …

"THE FUCK DID YOU SAY?!!"

"Tarkus, shut up, start acting more dead. Besides, you should take it as a compliment I wasn’t calling you a scorpion."

[the-tarkus]

"SCORPIONS ARE AMAZING. YOU DARE INSULT ME?"

[through-fire-and-archives]

"LITTLE THING."

"BIG THING!" roared Lil’ Laurentius, puffing out his chest again. 

[the-tarkus]

"LITTLE THING!!" Tarkus replied with a mighty yell. 

[the-tarkus]

AN OLD CHAMPION APPROACHES

The earth shakes in Lordran. The birds cease their chirping and even the Hollows are silent as the signs become clear. HE IS COMING. A red phantom appears from the ground, an eerie mask on its face as it climbs down the stairs of the Burg, the zweihander in hand resting upon its shoulder as it calmly surveys the empty area. A soft sound catches the GiantDad's attention and as he turns, a fist of black iron and manly man muscle smashes into his spine, sending the abomination across the ground. With a loud yodeling warcry, Tarkus leaps a dozen feet into the air and comes down with a flying black iron elbow, crushing the hapless invader into the ground and cracking the pavement underneath. The GiantDad begins to fade, cursing softly under its breath as Tarkus flexes in victory. "WELL, WHAT IS IT?"