Here comes the rain

System blog, read intro/pinned for more information

[bloodboat]

[merisms]

One day a lot of you will have to contend with your effect on people all because you prioritized your feel-good emotions of "validation" over material reality and over other people.

The fact that we have I/DD individuals who are begging you not to use "high support needs" about yourself when referring to having anxiety because you feel like calling yourself that validates your experiences is, frankly, insane.

The fact that wheelchair users are telling you that not having access to physical buildings is not the same as sensory issues once inside the building and you're calling them ableist because you assume that means they're putting you down for being neurodivergent or saying you have 0 problems is frankly, insane.

The fact that physically disabled people are having to tell you that no being physically disabled is not the same as being mentally ill and does not have the same material experiences (yes even though "the brain is a physical body part") and the response is to harass them because You feel like people take "physically disabled" more seriously or Think that people would respect you more is, frankly, insane.

The fact that in trauma and trauma disorder spaces we have people competing over their trauma histories and trying to reframe words as actually being exactly the same as manipulation or parental abuse because you don't think you had it bad enough and so you seek out "worse" things to call it and therefore flood the tags and flood communities with completely irrelevant bullshit is, frankly, insane.

You need to be able to deal with the fact that some people are not going to have the same experiences as you. Some of these experiences could and can even be described as "objectively worse," while other experiences are simply that: different from your own. You need to grapple with this without taking it as a personal affront and without assuming it means people are claiming you aren't struggling. Without taking it as commentary on your personal experiences at all, actually. You need to be able to exist without having to be acknowledged by random strangers around you and have your exact experiences mentioned before you care about another living person. And overall you all need to get far more comfortable with discomfort.

[the-twisted-sys]

Religion and Plurality - Some general tips

I was reading some articles earlier and realised that there's very few general resources regarding possible religious clashes ,and the general day-to-day communication within polyreligious systems. Bearing in mind this is all objective advice from our own experiences, and certain aspects won't apply to all systems.

General tips:

If any alter has specific religious daily rites or phrases that need to be spoken (all the Abrahamic religions include such phrases and rites, but they occur in other religions too), discuss with the system surrounding what protocol is regarding this.

Setting up a ''religion station'' if you live in a situation where that's possible can be helpful to keep track of everything and provide a space for all your alters to practise safely.

If you have a personal calendar, encourage alters to write down any rites/rituals they need taken care of in the event they aren't fronting.

Subtlety and safety:

If you're bodily in a situation where you feel obliged or pressured to take part in certain religious ceremonies and everyday rites, discuss this with the system and explain the situation. It's always better to choose discomfort over a potentially unsafe situation, generally - but this will be a system-wide decision.

If different members of the system practise different 'structured' religions, look into online worship or religious online communities. All the major religions have easily accessible platforms that you can access discreetly, and all religious holy books can be found for free via google.

If you're still in school, if caught practising something outside of your bodily culture, a good excuse can be that you're researching for a project or culture day.

For Wiccans and witchcraft practitioners, checking the ''broom closet'' tags on tumblr or elsewhere can be a lifesaver - they're full of tips for those who wish to practise discreetly.

If you have alters with different religious dietary needs, vegetarianism can be a good solution - it covers most major religion's dietary needs, and can help cover up any 'inconsistencies'' to the outside world (ie. one headmate eating pork, one eating halal or another keeping kosher.)

For religious pendants/charms, a piece of paper with the relevant symbol can make a placeholder that's easy to destroy in a pinch.

Conclusion:

This will likely be updated as I think of more tips and tricks, if anyone wants to recommend anything, or ask for any specific advice, just let us know.

Misha

[ronimarzipan]

looking through my notes app like wait when the FUCK did I ever write any of this in here and omg queen who uses my notes app, when did all of this happen???? spill the juicy tea girl I need more info??!?!? but then remembering I have DID and the tea girl is indeed real and hot and deserves a delicious cup of sweet tea for carrying all those memories in her girly purse so elegantly

[sidneyfirefae-deactivated202603]

do any other systems have any advice about handling careers/jobs/networking/education as a system with distinct goals and dreams? i think we all loathe capitalism to some extent or another, me definitely a lot, but unfortunately we're gonna have to try to navigate it to survive.

do y'all only go by your legal names for work and combine all your work/accomplishments into what externally looks like a single person? do y'all try to differentiate your careers, and if so, how do you handle the bureaucratic, legal, social, etc difficulties that probably causes?

any advice is appreciated, and please refrain from syscourse. we accept and welcome systems of all types

[the-twisted-sys]

Hey, these are just things we've used irl:

We combine our experiences and don't often mention we're a system, unless we're very comfortable in a job/work environment.

We go by our legal names and any experience is combined into a singular CV. Different alters handle different aspects, and only one is actually any good at portfolio work, so that's a bit easier - when we had several alters dealing with it, it tended to show us as inconsistent and we had issues with employment as a result.

We've been writing down *all our experience and opportunities* for years now, so that's incredibly helpful. We did recently forget about a whole university course we did a while ago though, and that caused issues since it was technically fraud (be sure to declare any and all relevant experience, and double check anything that could contradict with employment opportunities, school, scholarships and workplace funding ect.)

One of our alters does graphic and game design on the side as a freelance venture, and we do declare that - it's really important you declare all sources of income otherwise there can be a host of legal repercussions. If you aren't comfortable outing yourselves, you can just say you used a pen name or an alternate identity to create a clean slate for employment.

In terms of networking, if we talk to/email/contact anyone, that all goes in our big work/college book so we don't forget (you also NEED to keep a record of who you've contacted, dates of employment, certificates from around 11th grade onward ect.) and then unless it's directly asked, we use our singlet personality for that and try and limit the amount of people x person/company actually interacts with.

This is getting a bit long, but if you want any other specific advice, just let us know, and we'll do our best to help!