Hidden Rays

23 One with the Moon Just trying to navigate life

[tkkatherineblog]

[bey]

ig: @b3y

[the-unseen-rays]

Black roses <3

[the-unseen-rays]

If it’s not nic, it’s weed. If it’s not weed, it’s alcohol. If it’s not alcohol, its anything to make me feel.

[the-unseen-rays]

I just want to be happy, I know I deserve it

[quotemadness]

“Like most sensitive souls, you already know you’re sensitive. You soak up others’ moods and desires like a sponge. You absorb sensation the way a paintbrush grasps each color it touches on a palette.”

— Victoria Erickson

[werenotreallystrangers]

[quotemadness]

“Angry people want you to see how powerful they are. Loving people want you to see how powerful you are.”

— Chief Red Eagle

[the-unseen-rays]

Simpler times :/

[quotemadness]

“The world told me to go and seek my truth. So I bravely started to walk toward you.”

— Marie Jo Schwarz

[naive-personality]

[atticuspoems]

[atticuspoems]

[atticuspoems]

[the-unseen-rays]

Happy

I never thought I would come to this point in my life; where I was genuinely happy. It is crazy to finally be here. I think the crazy part though is always feeling like it is going to end. Just waiting for the the bubble to burst, dream to end, and fantasy to be over. But I am going to keep hoping I am lucky enough for it to last. And for it to be true that I’m actually… happy.

[the-unseen-rays]

I went to bed hating you. Thinking how could you do this to me, how could you hurt me, and how could you break my trust. Then I wake up without a message from you and it helped me realize just how much I don’t want to lose you. Regardless of what happened the night before it’s still not as bad as not having you over all.

[hype]

[hype]

[the-unseen-rays]

Never From You

I meet a man who I thought was the guy of my dreams. He may still be I just need to dissect the events of tonight. We talk about sex and he knows I want to wait. We have had multiple conversations and even discussed it moments prior. Then we’re making out and he puts me on top, not even dry humping, and he was going to try to insert. I stop and almost cry. I go silent and have nothing to say. I did not want that to happen nor did I expect it from him. This man has been nothing but genuine, or so I thought, and now he is losing my trust. Why would he do that to me knowing my past and history. Why would he go against my word and everything I said. 

Why would he think I would change my mind. Did I give him a reason too? Should I even be considering that question though. Is there anyway it could have been me and should I even consider thinking it could have possibly been my fault. 

I do not know what to think. I could tell he was genuinely sorry but it just makes me doubt his trust. What if he gets caught up in the moment at school or again with me. I do not want to have to go through that again. I had a bad reaction and almost let him see me cry. 

And he kept saying I just keep thinking of your reaction and I never want to see you like that again but I never expected him to make me feel that way and I think that is why it is so hard to know how to think and feel about the situation.