i slithered here from eden

just to sit outside your door | assigned gender is a construct use whatever pronouns fit the Vibes™️ | call me red cuz i'm an iconic album but an underrated song | you look stunning today |

[the100thballoon]

btw i have a side blog @the101stballoon which is just for image IDs!

[verymuchablog42]

boy crazy in the sense that i cannot stop thinking about the little boygenius and it's driving me insane

[cannabiscomrade]

So Arizona launched an “education hotline” that allows “concerned parents” to report “””critical race theory””” and other things like ~gender identity~ being taught in the classroom

It would be a shame if the number and email were spread to bad actors looking to prank call the AZ Department of Education

602-771-3500 or empower @ azed .gov 🤡

Horne said two staff members are sorting through the calls, and two investigators are working on credible leads.

[yeah-yeah-beebiss-1]

and for the love of god, don’t just spam it with memes or le funny shrek jokes or whatever, they’ll just hang up

make plausible-sounding reports for things that don’t actually exist, so that they actually have to waste time/resources investigating false leads - the goal is to waste time they would otherwise be using to do their jobs, not to get tumblr clout for being an epic troll

[neko-setsuka]

So apparently the internet article said the superintendent wouldn't be deterred by the prank calls because they would 'taper off eventually'. It'd be a real shame if this post stayed in circulation via queues so they get a consistent list of prank calls to filter through. 😇

[the100thballoon]

popping in from the outside world to remind you to speak in dramatically overpositive terms about yourself

doing an art project:

❌ i messed that up so bad

✅ i'm the next picasso actually

applying to college:

❌ i'm not going to get into this college

✅ oooooooooh this school wants me so badddd the admissions officer wants to kiss me soooo baddddd

overthinking a past social situation:

❌ that was so weird why did i say that

✅ i'm a god at social interactions

*bonus: saying "i'm a god at [insert literally anything] is pretty empowerint tbh*

got a bad grade:

❌ omg i'm so stupid

✅ i ate that up left no crumbs [grade] is my angel number

not only is it funny, it tricks your brain into believing it! if you say bad things about yourself, you'll believe bad things about yourself, but it goes the other way too. talk about yourself in a way that would get you turned into a spider and you'll be good :)

[alchemisedsenlinyu]

bones and all (2022) dir. luca guadagnino / the dreamers, gilbert adair / a self portrait in letters, anne sexton / the phantom of the opera (2004) dir. joel schumacher / orestes, anne carson / 'everywhere, everything' by noah kahan / yellowjackets (2021-present) cr. ashley lyle & bart nickerson / caffeine, pt 1, sean glatch / women, mihail sebastian / the fountain (2006) dir. darren aronofsky / toward the amaranth gates of war or love, natalie diaz /the portrait of a lady, henry james / in a week by hozier

for @morbidgf ♡

[empressofsnow]

[saint-sapphic]

girlies I might be in severe sapphic yearning mode tonight

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

Of the 19 hijackers who carried out the Sept 11 attacks:

15 were from Saudi Arabia (a powerful/oil-rich country the U.S. works hard to maintain diplomatic relations with)

2 were from the United Arab Emirates (also a powerful/oil-rich country the U.S. works hard to maintain diplomatic relations with)

1 was from Egypt, 1 from Lebanon.

None of the hijackers were from Iraq.

None of the Sept 11 hijackers were Iraqi.

None of the 9/11 hijackers were from Iraq.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

This was known at the time. Also known at the time: Osama bin Laden and al-Qaeda (a terrorist organization NOT a government) were responsible for the attacks.

Osama bin Laden (born and raised in Saudia Arabia) was the son of a billionaire who used his inherited wealth to found the terrorist group al-Qaeda

None of al-Qaeda's founders were Iraqi.

Saddam Hussein/the Iraqi government had few if any connections to Osama bin Laden/al-Qaeda

They were completely separate individuals/organizations.

Iraq was not involved in the Sept 11 attacks.

Iraq was not involved in the Sept 11 attacks.

[memewhore]

[teacupsandtimelords]

Fun Fact! Two Weeks Notice is not a REQUIREMENT in any sense of the word. It’s a nicety. A polite gesture, and only polite for the MANAGEMENT because THEY want time to find someone to replace you. They cannot withhold your last paycheck if you refuse to give two weeks notice, and they cannot force you to work the two weeks. Additionally, they cannot report that to any future employers who call them regarding your work history. In fact, they’re not allowed to comment on your performance AT ALL! Legally they are only allowed to confirm that you were an employee during the dates you list - anything else and they open themselves up to civil lawsuits in which they can be sued for damages for any number of reasons. So fuck Two Weeks Notice. if you work for a fucked company, they deserve to get fucked in return.

[continent-of-wild-endeavor]

If you ever feel bad about not giving two weeks' notice, or like you're being unprofessional/unfair, think about this: If your boss fired you, would they give YOU two weeks' notice? Or would they have you escorted out of the building then and there? Anything they don't owe you, you don't owe them. Fuck 'em.

[alunarrose]

Oh these are therapeutic

[severalowls]

I'd just like to add a classic:

[jadedanddark]

I died but I came back exactly the same. You though, I came back and you were wrong. Did the fact of my dying really damage you that much? Was bringing me back worth what it cost you? Would it have been better to just leave me?

[imakecalculatorposts]

[aristoteliancomplacency]

Guys.

Y’all.

I…

I just. I just… i have discovered something. And I have laughed too much. I have laughed every time I have tried to explain it to someone. I cannot get through this.

Look. Okay.

There are two things you need to know, here.

First: There’s a style of Greek pottery that was popular during the Hellenic period, for which most of the surviving examples are from southern Italy. We call them ‘fish plates’ because, well, they’re plates, and they’re decorated with fish (and other marine life).

Like this one, currently in the Met:

Or this one, currently in the Cleveland Museum of Art:

They’re very cool. We’re not 100% sure what they were for, because most of the surviving ones were found as grave goods, but that’s a different post.

The second thing you need to know is that when we (Classics/archaeology/whatever as a discipline) have a collection of artefacts, like vases, sculptures, paintings, etc. and we do not know the name of the artist, but we’re pretty sure one artist made X, Y and Z artefacts, we come up with a name for that artist. There are a whole bunch of things that could be the source for the name, e.g. where we found most of their work (The Dipylon Master) or the potter with whom they worked (the Amasis Painter), a favourite theme (The Athena Painter), the Museum that ended up with the most famous thing they did (The Berlin Painter) or a notable aspect of their style. Like, say, The Eyebrow Painter.

Guess what kind of pottery the Eyebrow Painter made?

[bisquid]

Wait wait you can't just drop that off and not elaborate. What do you mean is there a mafia presence in Wales?? Please spill, what things did you notice??

Okay so bearing in mind that I have ADHD and Chronic Terrible Observational Skills:

I am in Cardiff

For a concert I am attending solo

Doors open at 5

4:15 ish I go 'hmm I should eat something'

Cardiff is - unsurprisingly, being tiny and yet home to FOUR concert venues - Very Busy

Find McDonald's

McDonald's is very full. I recall my last concert related McDick's experience, and promptly bounce

Directly across the street

Is an Italian restaurant

It looks closed but fuckit maybe I can beg for like. Bread or some shit

Go over

Am immediately pounced upon by the hitherto unnoticed chain-smoking woman hanging out by the door mostly hidden by a potted ficus(?)

"I was wondering if you were open and if-" "yes yes we are open what would you like?" (strongish Italian accent)

Inside restaurant is Deserted

Explain that I'm sort of in a rush, am assured it's fine

Order chicken milanese which is generally a pasta dish with a breaded chicken component

Am led to seat nearish the front and promptly provided with a pint of coke in a glass tankard

Am then provided with a front row seat to an absolutely incomprehensible series of people entering and exiting (and in one case walking directly into) the door to what I can only presume is the kitchen

Starting with the guy who had been sitting at a table chain-smoking over a pile of papers

I counted at least three people exiting at least twice without actually entering in between

Am finally brought food

It is a breaded, butterflied chicken breast approximately the size of my face and a small pile of pasta approximately the size of my fist

It is all delicious

Chain-smoking papers man reappears, now wearing a chef's apron labcoat thing

Go up to pay, chain-smoking ficus lady is now having a very loud argument in a language I did not recognise but was not Italian Welsh English French russian Gaelic or Spanish

She sees me, says, and I quote 'ah little girl lost, one moment' and promptly hangs up

I am 27 and only nominally female

I am not remotely lost

She charges me for the pint of coke but not the food

I try to point out that she hasn't charged me for the food

'do you want to pay for the food?'

'.... Not if I don't have to?'

'good'

I leave. The door is now full of half a dozen very tall very Italian men and one absolutely adorable cocker spaniel

I ask if I can pet the dog (I have my priorities straight okay)

I am allowed to pet the dog. The dog and I are now best friends

The dog lead holder asks me in extremely accented but impeccably correct English if I had enjoyed the food

'yeah it was great!'

Everyone laughs a bit

I smile and pet the dog and realise I'm now late for the concert and hurry off

I see a post on Tumblr about mob fronts and several connections are made in my brain all at once

[luneillusoire]

noah czerny wip ⚠️

[the100thballoon]

the feminine urge to end every message with "fr" "ong" "tbh" or an emoji

[measureyourlifeincake]

i know people make these kinds of posts with fictional characters a lot but like. hank green truly is one of The Most Guys Ever. like. he's one of the earliest youtubers who is still on there. he's a 43-year-old tiktok star. he's a science educator. he got cancer and his response was to make a tier list of the press's coverage of his cancer announcement. the president of the united states sent him a message of support and he told the president that he was pissing out the cancer. years earlier he was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis and his response was to write a polka song about it. he created vidcon. he's the ceo of a company that produces a shitton of educational series (well, not acting ceo at the moment due to the aforementioned cancer). his guitar says "this machine pwns n00bs" on it. he invented 2D glasses. one of his earliest videos to get popular was about animal sex. between him and his brother, he was known as "the science one" (or "the music one") while his brother was "the writer one," and then he wrote two new york times bestselling novels. his most controversial opinion is that butt is legs. he's done so many things that there is a website dedicated to counting the number of days since he started a new thing. he and his brother use their internet following to (among other things) fight maternal/infant mortality in sierra leone. he has a baked bean furby. hes even bisexual

[sizzlingsandwichperfection-blog]

In 1998. his Winter Park High School classmates named him “Best Dancer.” He’s had an album on the Billboard Charts, and he won an Emmy for a web-based adaptation of Pride & Prejudice. He co-founded DFTBA.com, the Awesome Coffee Club, the Awesome Sock Club, and Sun Basin Soap--but doesn’t make money from any of them. Instead he’s led these brands to donate over $5,000,000 to a hospital in Sierra Leone. His companies, when he stepped down as CEO due to the cancer, had over 115 full-time employees, all of whom receive a living wage and good benefits. His production company, Complexly, has made educational videos with 5 billion total views, and helped hundreds of millions learn through SciShow and Crash Course. He is the sweetest dad to the world’s most amazing six-year-old, and the spouse of one of the funniest people you’ll ever meet, and he is loved--ferociously--by his brother. He truly is among the Most Guys Ever.

[the100thballoon]

the last line of the barbie movie was a jumpscare

[jupitersmusings]

good things will happen 🧿

things that are meant to be will fall into place 🧿

[overlord-fire-bubble]

THIS ONE FUCKING WORKS. REBLOG IT.