Welcome to the back half of September.
No, Iâm notshitting you.
hello vonnie
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trying on a metaphor
Cosimo Galluzzi

@theartofmadeline
KIROKAZE
todays bird
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Monterey Bay Aquarium
Cosmic Funnies
Not today Justin
Today's Document
đŞź
I'd rather be in outer space đ¸
cherry valley forever

tannertan36
Stranger Things
$LAYYYTER
we're not kids anymore.

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seen from Jordan
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@theaffablestranger
Welcome to the back half of September.
No, Iâm notshitting you.
ITS BEEN DAYS SINCE THIS HAPPENED BUT WHATEVER
I went to the bank because my debit card was about to expire. The nearest one to me flooded like two years ago and still hasnât been fixed or anything, so I have to take a 15 minute train ride to the second nearest. To get on the train, I decide âI donât want to buy a new metrocard, Iâll try that new chip read payment method!â. My debit doesnât support it, but the credit card I got some months ago but never used until then did, so i went on my merry way.Â
I get to the bank, and I wait for an hour for someone to meet with me. I tell them my cardâs about to expire. They say they sent a replacement some months ago. I say I havenât received it. They opt to close my account and send me a new debit card by mail. I figure I have my credit card, and i just proved it worked, so I figure I could last a week without my debit, so I give the go-ahead. Before I leave I decide to ask about my credit card. They say they have no record of me using credit. Figuring it would take some time before my train ride purchase would get recorded or something, I pull out the credit card and say, âThis credit card here!âÂ
They look it over and say, âThatâs the replacement card we sent you.â Turns out, my bank did not honor my request for a credit card for some reason, and I had been walking around with two debit cards in my pocket for months now. SO now I had a new problem in that I was now unable to pay for the train, so I had to walk half an hour home because I never bothered to read what my new card said. Add to that that I still had to wait a week without any cash on hand, and it seems that, well...
Luckily, the person helping me let me withdraw some cash so I could last the week. So, thank god for that.
this is 100% why i never fucked with that ânormcoreâ nonsense and why iâm still extremely self-conscious about what i wear and how my clothes fit, even after my weight loss. wearing ânormalâ clothes only becomes âfashionâ when itâs on skinny attractive people and once itâs on a fat person itâs suddenly the trappings of the tacky and the unwashed poors. fuck out of here. you can make anything look good.
This is all, of course, amazing and 100% needs to be said, but aside from that, is the lady on the right carrying nunchucks?
Yâall know Recettear, right?
That one jrpg/shop management game that everyone lauds, yeah? Well, after i proved not dead after three or so months of this bullshit, I finally decided I was going to check it out. I even got a bundle of three games for eight bucks on Steam consisting of this, a game called Fortune Summoners, and the subject of todayâs text post, Chantelise: A Tale of Two Sisters.
Now, I managed to absorb some inkling to the effect that Chantelise was a sort of prequel to Recettear, so I decided to play this first. Bear in mind, I made this purchase earlier today and I played Chantelise for about an hour. This is just barely a first impression that Iâm sharing with you today, so allow me to fill you in on the basics of the plot, visuals, and mechanics that i have come across so far:
The story goes that two sisters, the elder Chante and the younger Elise (well, that explains the title), left their home on the night of a Red Moon despite being repeatedly warned not to throughout their lives, the implication being that the fabled witch of the forest is calling them through insidious, supernatural means. They wander into the forest in a dreamlike state, and the next thing they know, itâs morning, theyâre in a familiar part of the forest, and Chante has been transformed into a fairy, wings and all. Some indeterminate amount of time later, the game proper begins, with the sisters specifically looking for the witch to make her turn Chante back into a human.
Characterization is predictably thin on the ground this early into the game, but the basics are the Chante, the older sister, comes across as rather immature in comparison to her mini-Ingenue younger sister, considering her informal and forthright manner of speech, seemingly demanding rewards for helping people in danger, and showing a willingness to impose on othersâ hospitality (though considering their circumstances it is certainly understandable). Elise, in contrast, comes across as conscientious, polite, and demure. Perhaps ironically, Chante is the mage and Elise the Swordswoman between them.
Visually, itâs great... well, at first, anyway. Character designs are reminiscent of either Madoka Magica for you lot and Summon Knight: Swordcraft Story for me specifically. Though the world is 3D, most all of the characters and enemies are 2D sprites, with the player-controlled Elise being able to move in eight directions, and having the sprites to match! It gives it a feel like the DS remakes of Dragon Quest games.
Iâll break down most of the controls here; youâll see why in a minute. As mentioned above, you play as Elise, with Chante hovering over your shoulder. Combat is a real-time, hackânâslash affair, with enemiesâ spawn positions highlighted on the map, but only spawning when you get close enough to aggro them. You move with the arrow keys, attack with Z and jump with X, being able to perform a sort of âdashâ by pressing both simultaneously. You attack with a basic three-hit-combo on the ground or a single swing in the air. The purpose of the dash is unclear; presumably it provides a quick way to escape hairy situations, but if you are getting mobbed, odds are good youâll just dash into an enemyâs attack, because it doesnât seem to provide invincibility, and if it does it doesnât last long enough to make any discernible difference. C has Chante use magic. Magic works by using gems collected from defeated enemies or destroyed barrels/torches etc. for different elemental attacks, being able to hold C to use up more gems to cast more powerful spells.
V locks onto an enemy. Pressing V while locked on to one enemy switches it to another enemy. Not necessarily the enemy closest to you, or even closest to the current target. It honestly seems to be random, and janky, too; it sometimes just doesnât respond to my presses. You hold V to unlock from the target.
V also controls the camera, sort of. Itâs incredibly hard to explain how the camera works, because it doesnât, really. It hangs behind you, but doesnât properly follow you when youâre moving, remaining oriented to the direction Elise was initially facing until you hold V, so it reorients with the direction Elise is currently facing... unless there is an enemy within an indeterminable radius around Elise, at which point youâll just lock on to them.Â
A camera with a fixed orient isnât so bad in most RPGs because many of them, especially early ones, had the âcameraâ/FOV set much further up and away than in Chantelise. For example, hereâs what Dragon Quest 9 typically looks like:
Thatâs about what itâs always gonna look like unless it wants to show off some pretty architecture or the like. Apart from that, the camera stays right where it is, and while the shoulder buttons do change the cameraâs position, itâs never as much a problem as it is in Chantelise since you can see a wide area around you at all times and your characterâs model barely takes up any room on the screen. Compare to Chantelise:
The camera is much closer, yes, but more importantly itâs set right behind the character, so you only see directly in front of you. Obviously when there are multiple enemies off-screen, specifically behind the camera, firing projectiles at you, your best bet is to use the lock-on and hope it fixes on one of the firing enemies, and not the slime next to them you also didnât see, or some other enemy that would be in your view if they werenât behind a wall. Not ideal, as you can imagine. It also doesnât play nice with the environments, either, with going up or down slopes especially being borderline nauseating after a while.
If I were playing this with a controller, Iâd apparently get to to control the camera with a joystick or with bumpers, but iâm on a laptop, so I get to eat shit, I guess.
I imagine it wouldnât be so bad if I wasnât constantly mispressing the C and V keys, too. In fact, theyâre all way too close together and awkwardly placed. If I could map them to something like, I dunno, A, S, and D for attack, magic, and camera/Lock-On respectively with Space for jump, Iâd probably have less of an issue with it. Hell, have the camera reorient be a separate button so it doesnât swing around to focus on a slime halfway across the map when Iâm just trying to figure out what iâm running into. Unfortunately, you canât reassign keys at all, so Iâm shit out of luck until I get used to it.Â
More on this when I get further into it. Until then, Iâm going to bed.
So I had the strangest dream this weekend and nobody understands me so I need to share it with you because you might. Press J to skip this post if you canât deal, I will accept this.
In my dream I was standing on the back deck of a rural cabin that overlooked a beautiful Vermont/Scottish Highlands landscape of unspoiled wilderness. It was a crisp, perfect autumn morning. I held a cup of cooling coffee in my hands as I leaned against the railing and scanned the perfect rolling hills in the midground, behind which the great patterned mountains with their snowcaps marched on until they blended with the horizon: #aesthetic
As I gazed at a distant meadow clearing in the trees, a pair of brightly coloured humanoid creatures emerged from the woods and began to dance for each other. It was an esoteric, beautiful mating dance, a strange combination of instinct and choreography. I felt awe washing over me. I marvelled. I felt a deep sense of wonder and peace as I observed this vanishingly rare encounter that I had never thought to observe in person. These animals were instantly recognisable but had never been studied in the wild. I felt incredibly humbled and privileged to witness this behaviour - I knew that I was the first human witness to observe this behaviour - and I reached for my phone, wondering if I should film it, so it could join the scholarly record, where it NEEDED to be. This could change everything. But then I held back - something told me âno,â to let the creatures have their privacy.
Ok, I canât go any further without telling you that they were Teletubbies.
A red one and a yellow one. I know. I know. Stay with me here.
The cryptids melted back into the woods. My subconscious drew a discreet veil over the rest of their mating ritual, but I knew instinctively that this had been a dance of courtship. I was busy pondering the implications, because they were critical. You see, although the creatures were instantly recognisable as Teletubbies, as I had studied them, even at a distance, I had an incredible realisation.
They were adult Teletubbies.
This realisation dawned on me and in my dream I understood it fully. The ones that we know of - the captive ones that we have seen on television - are juveniles. In fact, they are the equivalent of toddlers. When you see the adults this becomes obvious. The garbled speech and silly movements of the four captive Teletubbies we know are the babbles of babyhood, a private primal toddler-language brewed up between sentient beings who have never encountered an adult of their own kind.
The adult Teletubbies have more branching, complex antlers and shaggy coats. They are less brightly coloured. They are terrifyingly large. Their strangely human faces, emerging from the thick fur, are unquestionably adult; remote, serene, reproachful. Their television screens are glitchy, esoteric and unknowable. They are cryptids whose public exploitation has undermined their rarity and their strange, alien dignity.
In my dream my feelings of awe and peace turned to great sadness at the fate of the captive toddler Teletubbies. I realised that I had to be the scientist who brought this discovery to the world and raised awareness of their plight. And I also questioned: are Teletubbies like axolotls? Do they exhibit neoteny? (Axolotls, the cute aquarium pets with flaring gills, are actually juveniles of an amphibious species - if given the right conditions theyâll grow up into land-dwelling black newts. But they can breed in their aquatic juvenile form, and most spend their whole lives in this form. Deprived of their wild potential, will the Teletubbies ever mature? Or are they merely experiencing a long childhood, natural for a species that is unimaginably long-lived?)
So in my dream my husband came out onto the back deck and I began to share these discoveries with him and before I could even bring up the axolotls he just said âwhat the fucking fuckâ and went away again.
I woke up disgruntled and unable to capture the feeling of peace and sadness. I then tried to explain this to my husband in the waking world, and he said âwhat the fucking fuckâ and walked away before I even got to the explanation of the Teletubbies being toddlers, which just goes to show that you never know someone as well as you think you do.
Anyway Iâm sure you guys will join me in this knowledge. And also Iâve googled it and apparently the Teletubbies reboot features infant Teletubbies, so clearly they are getting more from somewhere and the time to question this is NOW
I have a personal theory that how a dream makes you feel is more meaningful than the content.
What I got from your dream was a sense of wonder and privilege (the good kind), followed by the need to bear witness and advocate for the cryptids. Topped off with a disturbingly accurate example of the attitudes youâd face.
(staring nobly into the distance) yes. yes, you understand. you understand.
Iâm so sorry but this is what came to mind and so this is what I drew
Holy
Iâm not sure what in nine Hells I just read, but i know I will when I see it in my dreams tonight.
THEY INTERRUPTED IT FOR A FREAKING TOILET SPRAY AD
Walked into a CVS for the first time
And they got âSmoothâ by Santana playing over the speakers.
Pass it on.
Probably The Worst Part Of Making A Tumblr This Late In The Game Is The Fact That I Donât Know How To Do Anything On Here
And By The Time I Do It Will Probably Shut Down