Riddle Me This, Batman!

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[sandmandaddy69]

[mysterycitrus]

there is a contrived hostage situation and bruce has to choose his favourite child. who does he pick?

dick

jason

tim

cass

damian

Voting ended onMar 7, 2024

he just has to pick a favourite — everyone will survive the encounter (logistics aren’t important). main canon only so no terry, jarro, helena, or carrie. duke, steph, and babs do not consider bruce their parent and are thus also excluded. it is ur legal right to vote weird but screenies are appreciated for ur argument — “the vibes are there” ur not the oracle of delphi so [incorrect buzzer noise]

[mysterycitrus]

[ghostbxne]

full of soup and pumpkin pie

[thief-of-eggs]

Cass doesn’t look, she glares

Tim doesn’t smile, he grimaces.

Damian doesn’t speak, he growls.

Jason doesn’t raise his voice, he screams.

Duke doesn’t watch, he scrutinizes.

Dick doesn’t smooth talk, he manipulates.

Steph doesn’t laugh, she cackles. Manically.

Bruce’s children are a little damaged, a little odd. If not in big ways, then in the smallest of ways that so clearly sets them apart from everyone else. Their line of work demands it, their breeding encourages it.

It’s just how they were made. Once they’ve been touched by the shadows of Gotham, it never leaves their veins.

It’s in their blood now. It’s seen in their eyes, their smiles. The twitch of their face, the narrowing of their gaze.

Gotham’s embrace never lets you go.

[stingrachelart]

Believe it or not those were actually not the words he was gonna use

[atomic-chronoscaph]

TGIF

[incorrectbatfam]

[video starts]

Jason: My name’s Jason and I’m going to be making a wedding cake. On a budget, obviously.

Jason: But that’s not the main video. The main video is that I cannot cuss or the video ends. And if you’re a recurrent viewer or, you know, can just look at me and tell, I… I like words.

Jason: This started because my brother challenged me. He was like: “I bet you can’t make an entire video without cussing.” And I went: “You know what? Fuck you.”

[video ends]

[insuredgoatwtaboat-deactivated2]

RTGame stars in his debut film "Drift King"

[whilomm]

?

[notsotinyblob]

dick accidentally pulled over in a moment of panic

[incorrectbatfam]

Duke: Bruce, can you sign something for school?

Bruce, shaking his head: If I sign this, you're going to have to learn how to forge my signature. If you sign it from the start, you'll be able to sign whatever you want and they'll never know.

[batkidsaremadkids]

Ok. But. Imagine Dick had that idea. He signed every single thing for school himself.

Then he left and Jason got adopted. Dick didn't want any of the teachers to catch on when "Bruce's" signature suddenly changes. (Because Dick was like 8, so he didn't copy Bruce's signature at all, just signed his name a particular way and stuck with it because changing it would cause issues and it was still working) So Dick goes to Jason and tells him all about it... and proceeds to sign everything for Jason with Bruce's name too. Eventually teaching him to forge it himself etc. (But it's still that fake-ass signature that Dick came up with at 8)

And then comes Tim. Who doesn't want to bother Bruce anyway so when Dick offers to teach him the signature? He's delighted.

Finally. Damian. Dick is his guardian. So Dick signs. (His own name.) And with all the Bruce is dead/battle for the cowl/Bruce is alive-drama going on he honestly... just kinda forgets about the signature.

Until. Damian mentions in passing that Bruce signed the field trip permission slip he turned in.

All the blood leaves Dick's face. A ruse they kept going for almost twenty goddamn years. Ruined. And they're about to be caught. Because his Bruce signature? Pretty damn far from the original.

Bruce gets called by the school. He gets toled Damian tried to forge his signature. He's confused. He did sign that. But he decides to investigate first. Bruce asks the teacher if he can see some samples of the different signatures.

At the school Bruce realises what a dumbass he is never having questioned that he didn't need to sign anything for any of his kids.

He tells the teacher he'll talk to Damian, but he still has permission to go on the field trip.

At home.... Bruce tries to learn his own fake signature.

(Sorry for hijacking your quote)

[hollowboobtheory]

you ever take a uquiz and realize halfway through that you don’t respect the author and their opinion is useless to you

[hollowboobtheory]

everyone shut up except this person

[monoiing]

One day we will watch this city burn.

[tacticaltaxonomist]

Declutter Tumblr

The new layout it a whole mess. Thankfully Xkit can already help with a bunch of this! I'm sure it'll give more options soon.

Vanilla Tumblr: (I have marked in red what can be removed. The tabs can be set not to stick, so you will really only see them at the top of your dash. Empty box on the left for hidden notifications and shop sparkle, i just didn't have any. I'm EU so no Live for me).

Xkit Rewritten Tumblr:

The settings I use:

[crowkip]

p sure if you drew pretty girl Jason Todd you'd have an entire userbase losing their minds

like this? 👀

[broosepayne]

A Whale of a Tale

[sleepy-cone]

Bruce still does the tooth fairy thing for the kids.

The bats are constantly losing and having to replace their teeth. Because you don't get hit, kicked, and thrown on your face almost every other night and keep all your teeth.

So imagine early on when Duke first stays at the manor. He comes in saying how he was thrown into a car and lost a tooth on patrol.

They tell him to put it under his pillow for the tooth fairy. He laughs it off like , "OkaY, the tOotH fAirY."

The next morning at breakfast

Dick: "How much did you get?"

Duke: "Get what?"

Dick: "From the tooth fairy?"

Duke: "Oh, haha, right."

Steph: "?...Wait...Bruce?!"

Jason: "Why didn't he get anything??"

Bruce: "Don't ask me. The tooth fairy probably couldn't find it."

Duke: "You're not joking? You were serious about leaving my tooth?"

Tim: "Yeah, B always leaves money."

Bruce: "Untrue. The tooth fairy leaves money to children who lose a tooth. Not me."

Jason: "Yeah, whatever, anyway, make sure you let him or Alfred know when you lose a tooth and leave it out when you go to bed.

Bruce: "Alfred and I have no say in the tooth fairy's actions."

Tim: "We've caught him on camera, but he insists to deny."

Bruce: "Or perhaps you caught a clever disguse made to trick you?"

Dick: "... Just leave it out tonight, Duke."

Duke: "Okay, I guess I'll leave it out then?"

Bruce: "Somewhere the tooth fairy can find it easily, Is what I assume they would want."

Steph: "Smooth."

Damian *walking in*: "Father, thank you for the extra cash. This will go to the new treats I wanted to try for Batcow."

Bruce: "It wasn't me, thank the tooth fairy."

Damian: "... Yes, the tooth fairy. Thank you tooth fairy."

Bruce: "I think the tooth fairy appreciates that, Damian."

Everyone: *sigh*

(Cass is there the whole time casually eating because only Bruce knows that she sometimes will sneak in the rooms first to wait for him.)

Cass when Bruce finds her in the darkness of her sibling's rooms: "😃"