Glimpse into Link and Lei’s Backstory
Not based on anyone. Any similarities are by coincidence. Experiences are not personal. This is purely fictitious.
He leaned forward to take his reward, a kiss for a day well spent, but Lei turned her gaze aside keeping her eyes on the ground.
“I’m sorry. It was a wonderful day–really. I’m just old fashioned and saving it for the wedding day.” Lei tried to ease the tension with a nervous giggle and an ‘I-know-I’m-a-dummy’ expression, rubbing the back of her wrist tentatively. But, the look on his face spoke for him. Lightning struck and thunder followed.
He stared her incredulously, spun around with wild eyes, scoffed at his unbelievable situation, then quickly turned back. Running his hand furiously through his hair, he pointed at Lei with an accusatory finger while his face contorted into a nasty disposition. The frustration he’d been withholding seeped out of him like poison.
Shaking the outstretched finger, he growled, “2 months. Damn. What a waste of my time. I put up with you, but even I have limits. A girl like you shouldn’t even exist.” He spat on the ground. “Too goody-goody to be human. Don’t you know the stories of a foolish princess getting raped from being too dimwitted? She couldn’t even distinguish between the ones who would love her and the ones who would dispose of her.” The veins in his neck bulged, his crazed eyes widened. “And me? I waited. For what? Nothing. I treated you well, but hell. Is this how you repay me?” Pausing momentarily to deliver a final blow, he jeered, “I’m a prince compared to the wolves out there. Good luck finding a guy, you cursed princess.”
He glared into her eyes as if sucking out her life force, taking back all the affections and energy placed into their relationship. Sealing it with a blink, he brushed past her breathing heavily and ruthlessly kicking a pebble as he went.
Lei stood there silently, drinking the poison. He wasn’t the one.
A hot tear slipped from the corner of her eye. She had faced this before. The break-up. And yet, she never could control her trembling fingertips. She had wished. She had hoped. Maybe this time, maybe a miracle, but ‘maybe’ always ended in disappointment.
As she watched him leave, Lei stumbled backwards, distancing herself from the area of the encounter. The hyperempathy was getting stronger. She could see the red from his shoulder pushing past hers; she could feel his lingering malice and rage from the contact of a split second. But the worst part was the sinking feeling in her gut as Lei started to believe her ex’s words.
It was true. He was good to her, or at least had been. She had thought they would last. Had she been too stubborn? After all, the previous guys had said more or less the same thing. But for her, the kiss…the kiss had to be preserved. She wasn’t prepared to form a mental bridge with another person: to share their life memories, thoughts, feelings. Not yet. Still, this relationship had been longer than the first one. She thought things would work out. She thought she had braced herself this time. She thought wrong.
Lei’s heartbeat was off. Breathing rapidly, she sought the surface of the wall with her clammy hand, stabilizing herself to keep from fainting. She concentrated on the texture, warding off the memory of the past conversation. But, the jagged sun-heated reddish bricks only reminded her of his vehemence.
She sank to her knees near the stonehedge, muffling her sobs. Her eyes trembled. The sea of tears was forcing its way through despite her attempts to suppress it. Lowering her face into her hands, Lei engulfed herself in a temporary darkness. Seeming to block away everything that harmed, the darkness was welcoming. Her tears slipped through the gaps of her fingers, making splotches on the cement pavement. One…Two…Thr…Three… Lei counted mentally, but the noise in her head was louder. Screams of the past threatened to shatter her conscience.
A soft fabric ruffled across the back of Lei’s hand.
Her tear-stained face turned upwards miserably to meet Link’s metallic eyes.
Bending over stiffly, Link nudged the handkerchief closer to Lei. She took the cloth, carelessly touching his fingertips. Instinctively, Lei flinched, expecting a vortex of color and emotion triggered by the physical contact. But, nothing happened. After a moment of disbelief, Lei remembered.
Link was the only being she had ever met whose feelings she would never know.
Distracted by the thought, Lei quickly wiped away a stray tear. Dabbing the handkerchief under her other eye, Lei mumbled, “You found me again. You always find me at my worst moments. How do you do that?”
“I have a radar,” he jested, sitting on the stonehedge with hands in his pockets.
Lei forced a laugh which she swallowed down painfully before speaking again. “Your radar is flawed. It should lead you to me when I can be a better companion. If you keep taking me to hospitals when I’m passed out or finding me like,” she gestured to her teary red eyes, “like this. What do I have to prove for myself?” Lei dug her nails into the hem of her dress as if grasping for words to support her in conversation.
An unidentifiable aura enveloped Link as he watched her struggle; his seemingly blank stare became an impenetrable gaze. Link got up and walked towards her. Deep down, Lei felt a twinge, not of discomfort, but of a sudden awareness that she was being read. After absorbing so much from others: their convictions, their aspirations, their inner nature, Lei had completely disregarded her own emotions and reflections. Now, they were drawn out of her by the one person she couldn’t evaluate.
Link reeled her into an unexpected hug. Still startled by the earlier occurrence and the animosity following the touch, Lei jolted. However, Link stood firm and held on. Yet again, Lei wasn’t distracted by the influx of his memories, or by the pulsating rush of emotions, or by blinding color; instead, she felt his warmth, the folds of his shirt, his gentle hands and arms protectively clasped around her shoulders. Most of her empathetic links happened by accident, whether someone bumped into her or shook her hand without warning, but this one was different. This action was backed with intention.
Tenderly kissed the roots of Lei’s hair, Link whispered softly, “You don’t have to prove anything. You have every right to decide for yourself what you believe and what you want in life. Don’t be so hard on yourself for not meeting everyone’s expectations.” Loosening his embrace, Link sought Lei’s eyes, “And you don’t have to force this conversation either.”
A soft breeze blew some petals in Lei’s direction, coaxing her to glance at her surroundings. Lifting her head, Lei noticed the cloudless sky, the flock of birds passing by in a V-formation over the lake, children barely tall enough to hand the cashier their money for some ice cream, and the quaint town with its rustic atmosphere and trimmed hedges. The ideal setting for a perfect date. Or, at least, it would have been.
Nevertheless, the brief moment was reassuring. A focus on the concrete, the tangible, and less on the abstract. Time moved on without reservations and nothing was particularly out of the ordinary. Except, perhaps…
Lei peered at Link curiously. She followed the direction of his gaze which settled on a slab of stone, carved in human likeness yet without distinctive features. Despite its lack of intricacy, one could still make out the head, the arms, and the body–melding the form to the floor. Centered in the middle of a courtyard with tourist shops around it, the structure cast a growing shadow to signal the imminent evening.
Lei retraced the path back to Link’s eyes. His irises, as shallow as the slender stone, shimmered with a silver glow before caving into his pupils, as dark and deep as the sculpture’s shadow. For a moment, Lei thought she sensed something coming from him and hesitantly raised her hand, placing it on the center of his back. A calming sensation passed through her mind unlike the usual aftershock of emotional overflow. Closing her eyes, Lei pressed her hand–longingly this time. She searched for a sentiment, for a memory, for anything that might help her understand Link.
Determined, Lei pried deeper, concentrating on his state of being and willing herself into the realm of his consciousness. The color of Link’s essence was a clearness hindered only by the faintest white, like she was squinting through a fabric hanging in the wind to dry. It was a color pristine, delicate, and rare. One she had never seen before. Fascinated by the discovery, Lei lingered in the hue and tried to decipher what it could mean.
The white haze began to swirl around her, subtly blending another color into the mixture; yet, this unknown variable appeared faintly as if she was looking at it in her peripheral vision.
Feeling her hand shift, Lei opened her eyes. Link had turned slightly, observing her over his shoulder.
Lei withdrew her hand and stepped back, saying with a shrug, “I give up. The more I try to make sense of this strange connection with you, the more confused I feel.” She clenched the strap of her purse, “And that concerns me because feelings are supposed to be my forte. But the fact of the matter is that you know my feelings so well and I am at an utter loss to comprehend yours.”
"It’s complicated,” Link replied.
“You’re telling me that?” Lei smirked and balanced one of her shoes on its heel.
“I am not capable of feeling, or loving, as you do,” Link spoke indifferently.
Lei turned to face Link, expecting him to retract his poor attempt at a joke. Instead, she found a quiet storm in his eyes, a steely expression on his face.
Link explained, “I know gestures of love from seeing it, analyzing it, interpreting it even. I learn and reciprocate displays of affection. How to hug, the appropriate pressure for an embrace, the right motions for specific events and moments in people’s lives. I’ve perfected it all. But, it’s not the same love that is innate in you. The reason you don’t sense anything in me is because I don’t feel anything.”
“That’s not true.” Lei stated firmly, clenching her fist. She had wanted to say more, but that was all she could mouth for now. Her mind flashed back to the sheen of white from when she touched Link. Even though she couldn’t exactly describe the feeling, she knew he was more than a shell. He had substance.
“This wasn’t a conversation I wanted to have with you,” Link sighed, “especially not on a day like today.” Link directly focused his eyes on her. “However I do not intend to withhold information from you, Lei.”
The sound of her name immediately drew her attention.
Lei blinked, taking a moment to process his words. Her brain had thankfully prevented the rudeness of unattractively gawking at him.
“So then what are you? A robot? The newest clone? A human invention? A test subject?” Lei rattled off.
Link shook his head. "No. I am, for lack of a better word, a doll.” His voice lowered, “An empty doll. A hollow carving.”
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