The अश्लील Agenda

[theashleelagenda]

Against Atheism

My simplest argument 

Against the absence of God 

Is the lack of rational explanation 

Regarding how that sliver of hair down your navel 

Is so conclusively a holy site 

A pilgrimage I must undertake

[theashleelagenda]

Of late

Of late I find myself

Accepting

When the universe says “no.”

I suppose I don’t have much fight left.

[theashleelagenda]

Hubris

That you exist Is proof that Even the Divine is not above An occasional bout of Hubris.

[theashleelagenda]

Singular

I am looking at you There is this tremendous desire To surround you With every beautiful thing Known to mankind Because surely They must come from you So singular do you look in this moment

[theashleelagenda]

Two Halves and a Whole

It is a silly reason, I agree But we must be together you see Because I'm only half a dimple on my right And yours falls on the left cheek.

[theashleelagenda]

CH

You are Pushing punishing spoonfuls of salad Hastily put together And lamenting a mustard stain of yesterday On the brand new carpet And desperately trying to keep the plant (It is my pet, you declare) At the sill alive And unclogging the drain when The water backs up (I don't shed this much, you're in denial) And day dreaming on the Tube (The ins and outs and ins of people don't break your reverie) And art standing in front of Insipid whatpassesforartthesedays And stretching limb upon limb Staring longingly at "Here, this is where I want to be" Your bony finger jabbing at the screen And tapping taptaptaptap A continuous tone in impatient sync with the Humdrum of the universe And fingering old vinyls Like you would gentlydelicately A partner of past years Blue eyes brilliant with excitement.

How incorrect of me To intrude upon all this A "ping" I come in as two lines in your biography Hoping to recur Letters to words to lines to paragraphs Till an entire chapter And then the story continues In tandem.

[theashleelagenda]

Apathy

Oh how sad a time this is

Where apathy is a virtue

And those who love more

Are forced to take their affection

To the butcher

Where it is cut up, halved, quartered

Bite-sized pieces

No choking hazard anymore

But seldom, if ever,

Fulfilling to the giver.

[theashleelagenda]

Meteor Shower

I would

Some night 

Wish to kiss you

Underneath a meteor shower 

Beneath an umbrella 

Held to keep 

The celestial droplets at bay.

Though I suppose neither you

Nor I 

Would mind terribly 

If trapped amid your dark locks

They would mimic

The Night Sky

[theashleelagenda]

Fuck, Marry, Kill

I didn’t know my own strength

When I pressed down on your

lovely neck

And my hands sank

As if into rancid butter

And smelled as ugly

And the distortions I had only seen portrayed 

In TVs and movies

Played out before my eyes

Every moment, frame by frame

A kaleidoscope

The world turning and turning.

I’m dizzy

I come to

I sit, slumped over

You are inert.

This poem is over.

[theashleelagenda]

Ennui

If I so choose

I could

I would

Get up right now 

This moment

Stand up

Stretch out

Loosen my shoulders

And run away from this life.

Find  a soft point

Somewhere in the middle

Bend my life

Once, twice

Going farther each time

Till the ennui snaps

And I can’t return to the original. 

[theashleelagenda]

A Right Turn

I took a right turn 

In an unknown city

Deviated from

The straight and narrow

And voilà! 

There you were

Crouched in front of a dead end

Amid the refuse of the world.

I looked back.

Did I recall the way here?

But looking at you

It didn’t matter

You sidled up to me.

And we stayed in that corner

A while

I never looked at the watch

It didn’t matter.

It was nice.

It was quiet.

But after a while

You covered my eyes

Held my left hand

A hand on what was left

And led me back to the path.

I was on the straight and narrow again

But

I didn’t like this path anymore

And now 

I often wander

Looking for that right turn.

[theashleelagenda]

सुरमा

He reached out to the sky

A sky pregnant with dark clouds

And drew defiant lines under his eyes 

And when the sky broke 

He ran out

His feet tinkling to the sound of the rain 

His plumage, a shock of colours

While he danced 

And danced 

In gay abandon.

[theashleelagenda]

Verbose

He clicked his  tongue 

His glasses off

He pressed his fingertips to his eyes

They crawled up to his hair

Thought better 

And rested on his temple. 

Each crease

(There are a few) 

Parallel, a rebuke

His mouth a tight, hard line

A sigh, then two.

Then another, for good measure

His eyebrows drawn together 

Like I to You

“But why,” his voice creaked 

The strain of being part exasperated, part defeated

“But why a hundred words where a few will do?”

“Why so verbose and not “I love you”?”

[theashleelagenda]

Untitled

That night

My tenacious grip on your shirt

Was not so much for you 

But my selfish effort

To keep my heart 

From splitting into two.

[theashleelagenda]

Ugly Boy

Mulling,

I realise that I 

Crave you in an ugly way

For your badness

For your ugliness

The crassness of you being 

I don’t want you for your finer

Needle point(s)

I am attracted to you the way

A young child learns a cuss word 

“Fuck”

“No babu, don’t say that”

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck” 

Or the way 

One is forced to steal a glance 

At roadkill 

The carcass

The secret thrill of the absurd ugly

You are 

A shock to my senses

Nausea, even.

Tell me this is a disquiet worth having.

[theashleelagenda]

Boozy Glasses

Rub your eyes

Your booze tinted glasses

You left them behind last night 

Where you retched

Your innards flowing freely

Bent over but unfazed

Good morning/noon/night

Your words slipped and slid and fell over

You wanted to convey to me

“IloveityoursmileIloveyou”

It’s the time after; do you continue?

And you’d stretched your limbs for skinship (not kinship)

One kiss, then two

“YouknowImissedyou”

And I ought to stretch out

And pull your boozy glasses off

Where my lines are smudged

My flaws are endearing 

My wit (or lack thereof)

Is of no consequence.

Your boozy glasses

Make a lie of me

I ought to tell you

I’m distorted in your eyes

Like in a house of mirrors

Stretched this way

Then that

But.

But it works to my advantage

And

I’m selfish, I don’t.

[theashleelagenda]

Magic

If I could 

If you would 

I would like to be part of

Your magic.