Welcome To Heck: @thebo0mer - Tumblr Blog

Surrounded

There's a jury in my head

deciding my merit.

There's a cop on the corner

policing my thoughts.

There's a killing squad behind me

making plans.

There's a merciless judge

dishing out my sentence.

There's a gang of myself

waging war.

There's a pack of wolves

howling my names.

There's a grizzly bear

tearing me to shreds.

There's a comfy place

I like to visit.

There's a bucket of hope

waiting to spill.

#poetry?#poem #poetry #poems #writing #words #depression #sad poetry #sadness

Apparently, the reason my hands hurt like hell when I feel sad is because emotional pain can surpass the brain's pain threshold, causing it to manifest elsewhere. Or so the internet tells me. Hm.

#sotheinternetsays #whothehellknows

Pro tip:

If you're walking around looking like Pig Pen after you rearrange some furniture and put away storage, it's time to reevaluate your dusting schedule.

#Dust Cloud #Sneeze Fest #Ab Workout

Entitlement

A man walks his professionally groomed sheltie down an adorable borough street well after dusk, fearing none for his safety. This is a safe place, after all. He speaks enthusiastically to the space in front of him, his Bluetooth earpiece invisible in the glare-polluted darkness. His sneakers are blatantly spotless in the dim light.

"...yeah, they sit on the side of the street and pretend to be disabled."

The mystery pal on the other end, dumb for the purposes of this story, says something. Whatever it was, I perceive it as a pause.

"...I know, right?! They make like seventy grand a year!"

I frantically take the scene down in writing because it's a puzzle too perfectly fit not to frame and put on display.

#stories from the suburbs #rich folk #stories #storytime #small towns #Doylestown #entitled #entitlement #privilege?

TAINT.

I love the word TAINT.

It sounds so delightfully offensive.

TAINT. It feels good in my mouth.

The word, I mean. Not the body part.

#taint word #not taint body part

The method I used as a teenager to hide a lit cigarette from nearby adults works just as well to hide a lit cigarette from the rain.

#life lessons #stuck in the past?

Oh. I see.

#language barriers #funny ads #shit i find on the internet #accidentally inappropriate

I've come to the conclusion that whenever I must drive an automatic vehicle, I should just duct tape my right hand to the steering wheel and my left foot to the floor.

#damn muscle memory #stick shift #manual transmission #first world problems #driving