the boot bitch

inspired by a sprained ankle and a wandering mind

[thebootbitch-blog]

One evening, an old Cherokee Indian told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, "my son, the battle is between the two 'wolves' inside us all. One is evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other is good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith." The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "which wolf wins?" The old Cherokee simply replied, "the one you feed." - courtesy of @soulgroove_

[thebootbitch-blog]

Stumbled across this pic today. Miss pdx and @nmshampoo very mushhh. #nike #rosegarden #pdx

[thebootbitch-blog]

Azekel - Official '07

[deeplifequotes]

At the end of the day, we can endure much more than we think we can.

Frida Kahlo (via deeplifequotes)

[thebootbitch-blog]

Radiohead - Separator - The King of Limbs - (From The Basement Live Recorded Session)

Like I'm falling out of bed from a long and weary dream Finally I'm free of all the weight I've been carrying

[thebootbitch-blog]

the more i let go

unless i absolutely had enough, i tend to let things play out on their own - for better or for worse. today, a friend of mine has decided that they are going to “stop wasting their time reaching out to me.” at this point in my life, i no longer feel saddened by a statement like that.

if someone feels that strongly about another person, my guess is that the two are probably better off living their lives apart from one another. in addition, if this instance has happened multiple times, i’m 100% confident that my guess is the reality.

the more i let go, all the more confidence i have for the future. for the no-good-doers, it’s best to leave them alone. if someone is doing more harm than good for you, your relationship is a ticking time bomb. better to cut the ties rather than have that person take any more time and energy out of you - and the same goes for the person losing you. maybe the stars aren’t aligned right now, but, in matters of the heart and soul, it’s tough to stay away from what and who you are meant to have in your life.

hopefully my message reaches you.

take care, bb

[thebootbitch-blog]

it’s over

or at least i would not mind if it was. i wish i knew what it felt like to only be friends with you. sometimes i wish i knew what happened to the strength inside of me to stop all of this from starting in the first place. what have you done? what i have done? what have we done?

someone has to stop this (again) and i hope that this will be the last time i have to repeat it. i’ve gone back and forth on my feelings for you. i’ve also learned that i can move from lust to love to resentment to guilt rather quickly - so quickly you’d become a distant memory at the last sentence of our story. 

i think, for the first time, i considered what this might do to you... then again, does it matter? the curiosity still remains. would you feel the emptiness in your heart? 

i thought love was keeping this together, but that’s no longer enough.

if this does reach you and it hurts, i’m sorry, but i also want to stop giving the old me life.

please help me do that.

[thebootbitch-blog]

Stay resilient. Illustration by yours truly. #resilient #butterfly #transform #mayaangelou #illustrate #artista

[thebootbitch-blog]

17 Things To Expect When You Date A Girl Who’s Used To Being On Her Own

She’ll be guarded, and she won’t be keen on letting you in. She’s waiting to see if you’re patient, she’s waiting to see if you’re worth it. She’s hoping that you’re worth it.

[thebootbitch-blog]

Nick Hakim - Cold

thanks, musicsplusone

[thebootbitch-blog]

where does it all lead?

music and art connect us all in mysterious ways. 

throughout my life, some of the greatest moments of my life have been at concerts, conversing with fellow artists, going to festivals with friends, singing and/or rapping, coming up with a dope hook or verse... you get the picture.

musicsplusone introduced me to nick hakim. feels good to have someone in your life that can give you that energy back and is able to communicate through tracks.

listened to his track, “cold,” and it was influenced by him going through a tough break up and it got me thinking about heartbreaks and emotions and those “moments” in life where shit is just super sucky. during those times, it may be difficult for you to open up to your friends or family because they might not get what you’re dealing with. sometimes it just takes time to get out of a string of bad luck or negative feelings, but we all end up getting out. somehow we manage to pull through time and time again. remember that we all do so much with our days - for ourselves and others. sometimes those crappy streaks have a deeper meaning.

for me, this is a time of deep self-reflection and moving in the direction of my heart. nick hakim said that he tries to create something every day and i’m at that point as well. i feel it’s my purpose on this earth to spread my own message as well as the message of others through this blog and through music. 

we may come from different lands, but, with music, we speak the same language.

much love, bb

[thebootbitch-blog]

#cosmic

[thebootbitch-blog]

Erykah Badu - The Healer

who inspires you?

[thebootbitch-blog]

didnt cha know

betwixt the cool cloud formations, there’s some sunshine and a nice breeze and i’m in love. 

i rarely listen to erykah badu’s tracks back-to-back, but today just seemed like the perfect day to do so and my brain is finally starting to calm down - from my injury, from work, from the stress, from the funeral, from the anxiety, from it all. in fact, this time in my life has forced me to slow down and it all hit at once. 

we all want to find our purpose in life, yano? for me, i’m a believer in having a purpose. in having meaning. in making meaning. some of us never experience meaning or purpose... can you believe that? my life is fueled my the connectedness to the emotions (and sometimes lack thereof) of this life... of this universe... and i like to give that back through compassion and love. it is, tough, though. perhaps curiosity and compassion both killed the cat.

that reminds me of a quote i saw the other day.

“compassion hurts. when you feel connected to everything, you also feel responsible for everything. and you cannot turn away. your destiny is bound with the destinies of others. you must either learn to carry the Universe or be crushed by it. you must grow strong enough to love the world, yet empty enough to sit down at the same table with its worst horrors.”

when this quote was first presented to me, i just kept reading it over and over. sometimes it feels good to be reminded that there are others that share the same opinions about topics you are passionate about. 

shit... it feels good to be passionate about something.

hope you’re all having a great day,

bb

[thebootbitch-blog]

i love you

i saw him again yesterday.

resentment isn’t a feeling that i hold onto for very long when it comes to him. i guess i just lose myself along with all the negative feelings that come along with this situation. 

don’t get me wrong... i’ve tried stopping myself and him. i’ve tried setting boundaries. i’ve tried walking away, but i cannot seem to leave him alone forever. for as hard as that may appear, is it ironic that i find relief in the idea of this being over this second? the feelings of pleasure are just as intense as the negative feelings, but i find solace in knowing that i would not be hurt by our ending. it no longer hurts me to know that i will never be his because i don’t think it matters to him if he is mine.

due to a somewhat “abnormal” upbringing, part of me knows that it was predetermined that i’d find myself loving a married man. over time i’ve developed certain beliefs surrounding the idea of polyamory, learned to understand the pros and cons of monogamy and human nature, but i still end up at a standstill - is this wrong?

[thebootbitch-blog]

...including myself.

[thebootbitch-blog]

James Davis - Co-Pilot

perfect wake me up for a monday morning. thank you, @musicsplusone.