I honestly think Stardew has the wildest character customization function Iāve seen in a while. Most games give you a closet, or a hairdresser, right? That makes sense! Why wouldnāt your appearance change in a beauty salon? But in Stardew, you enter a mysterious tower inhabited by a wizard and justā¦ walk out with a new haircut and possibly a new name. And nobody even questions it. Gotta love Stardew Valley.
i have this headcanon in stardew valley that alex frequents the clinic for the most fkuced up reason and harvey justā"alright, what is it this time?"
so it's the egg festival, year 2, and i was walking here and there sparking up conversation with the townspeople. almost everyone's dialogues are normal, nothing unusual or out of character... until i talked to harvey
this mf told me it's okay to eat eggs but refrain from consuming 30 pieces a day. naturally, my reaction was what kind of psychopath would eat thirty-fkciung eggs a day?
everything clicked when i talked to alex. this bctih just asked me what would it be like to eat thirty eggs in a day like sir calm down no one's stealing your protein you're going to kill yourself with your diet what made you think it's completely harmless to devour two and a half dozen of eggs for your meal does evelyn even know this????
i could imagine the look on harvey's face whenever alex comes barging in the clinic saying he has a terrible stomachache or something. "idk man i just downed four cartons of milk before going to bed" ā bicth why would you do that? no sane person would do what you do are you sure you're okay??? harvey just looks him dead in the eye, sigh heavily, and give him prescriptions. man's too fed up with alex's bullshrt to try to talk some sense to him like at least he's still alive, as long as he's pumping air in his lungs and he can drag his ass in the clinic then there's nothing to be worried about
A collab piece with @doctor-aceus-art, who took care of the awesome coloring (and chair) of my lil lineart šš„¹ they did such an amazing job and I can't stop staring at him š
Farmer: I love you so much!
Sebastian, smiling: I love you too!
Sam, sitting on the opposite couch: *shovels another spoonful of ice cream into his mouth* I love you both too
universally hated gifts are the funniest stardew game mechanic. i've already made a post about qi fruit ("why is the farmer suddenly obsessed with growing fruit that looks like that weird guy, ew" -- this has since been deprecated and some villagers like it now, although it is still largely worthless despite being one of the hardest agricultural skills in real life). nobody likes treasure chests, presumably due to some kind of superstition, and nobody likes fossils, presumably because they are a memento mori. everybody hates snails except vincent (slightly realistic but i feel like demetrius and leah should like them). everybody hates uranium except maru. everybody hates poppies and they are all so fake for that. you would think somebody would at least like fairy dust. abigail should like monster musk, right? but she doesn't. nobody thinks the drum block is cool, which is presumably why sam's band has to go to zuzu city to even find a venue. pelican town will never become a hit arts and crafts location for ceramics because nobody likes clay. not even alex likes muscle remedy or energy tonic. and the mobile-only error bread from the saloon? gettoutaheah! everybody hates sugar
stardew valley is great because you play as some washed up city kid who full on sprints across this tiny town every day carrying rocks over their head and chopping down the entire ecosystem for wood and accidentally handing five different residents sap as a gift and eating raw eggs for energy and just all around being kind of a little freak. but there are still twelve different people who are like "they are so babygirl <3 and i want to be with them carnally"
I looooooove Elliott to bits, my favorite hopeless romantic hermit š Anyway, as statedā¦ these are nsfw. any mentions of the reader are gender neutral, there isnāt any real explicit mentions of what you got going on down there so donāt worry. Reader was referred to as āthemā likeā¦ once.
To start off: Elliott is a romantic lover. This goes without saying and is essentially canon, but it should be noted. Because of this, when it comes to sex heās very much dedicated to making love to you rather than just any sort of quick fuck. Sex is special to him, and with him itās always fueled by emotions.
Your first time together was likely his first time ever, or at least his first time that he really cares about. When you live in a little shack on the beach all by yourself you donāt get much action. This isnāt to say he doesnāt know what heās doing, though. Though heās aware the smut he reads in his fair amount of romance novels isnāt always realistic, heās picked up enough to get an idea of how he can give you a pretty good time. During his first time heās likely a bit nervous, so give him that reassurance that youāll guide him when he needs it. Even through the semi-awkwardness of your first time together, the two of you love each other for the sex to really be bad. Besides, heās dedicated to making sure you at least cum once during your first time. Can that be said about all men? No it cannot. A true gentleman Elliott is, even if the bar is unfortunately on the floor.
Elliott has a bit of a fluctuating sex drive that can be a bit frustrating for him at times. At times he can be less interested to a point you may need to be the one to initiate anything if youāre in the mood. Other times he will seem to think about you 24/7 inā¦ less than innocent ways. Due to how dedicated he is to working on his projects he can find his distracting thoughts of you a bit of a nuisance at times, meaning he may take matters in his own hands at times ājust to get it out of the wayā. He tries his best to not bother you when he feels his sex drive is high because he never wants you to feel as if thatās all he wants from you. though, this has lead to a few instances in which youāve walked in on him desperately trying to āget rid of the problemā. Donāt be shy, help him out. Heāll be grateful :)
Loves loves LOVES the missionary position because he just loves watching you squirm beneath him. he loves to pin your wrists to the bed so that you canāt cover your mouth or face. he eats up every little sound you make and could probably get off on just your cute little expressions alone. He just loves seeing you enjoy yourself, and he enjoys knowing that heās the one making you feel so good. He also enjoys the lotus position, as itās easier for him to leave love bites and hickeys. he loves to just feel close to you as you make love.
Another thing he loves is going down on you. He loves to smother you with kisses and slowly inch down your body until he reaches your thighs. he enjoys watching you slowly come to the realization of what he has in store for you, feeling your body begin to squirm with anticipation as he makes his way down. he absolutely adores the way your thigh squeeze him gently as he makes a meal out of you. if youād let him, heād spend hours with his head between your thighs.ļæ¼
He likes to take his time with you. Sex with him usually starts slow and gentle, and sometimes he just likes to softly inch you to yours and his climax. This isnāt to say he doesnāt enjoy getting a little rough with you, though. He likes it when you gasp or squeak when he snaps his hips into yours without warning, it amuses him to watch you try to form a sentence coherent enough to beg him for more.
Decently rough sex for the sake of it being rough sex isnāt out of the question though. You just have to catch him at the right time. When heās frustrated with writers block or overwhelmed and overworked, if you come up from behind him at his desk chair and whisper some nasty things in his ear you can have the pleasure of witnessing Elliott be overtaken by pure need. With enough teasing, you could find yourself being bent over his desk and nearly forced into full submission. And he shows no mercy, if you spur him on expect nothing more that to be absolutely wrecked by him. even as he pounds into you though, heās still oh-so loving. with a gentle hand on your throat heāll whisper loving yet lewd and lustful praises into your ears. heāll lowly growl as he tells you what a good spouse you are, how good you take his cock, how lovely you feel and how much he loves to fuck you into submission like this. He feels pride knowing he can fuck you so good you reach a point of incoherency, and he sings your praises all the while he does so.
He loves to cum inside you, and it absolutely is a breeding kink. wether youāre capable of conceiving or not, he finds nothing hotter than stuffing you to the hilt with himself as he shoots his load as deep as he can within you. Heās slightly embarrassed at how primal that desire of his is, as sometimes it sneaks up on him when he least expects it. Sometimes just seeing you in nice fitting clothing gives him the thought of āgod, I wanna breed them so bad right nowā. He never says it out loud or anything, and usually he grows flustered at the ideas like that that swarm his head. Though, if thatās something you likeā¦ feel free to let him know. because trust me, heās game.
He definitely is a very āanything goes, as long as itās not too crazyā kind of guy with kinks. whatever youāre into, heās likely willing to give it a try. Wanna be restrained? Yeah sure, he can get behind that, just let him know if the knots too tight. You like the idea of being choked? Ok, but heās gonna be careful to not actually hurt you. You like being blindfolded and gagged? Sure heāll try it out for you. Though I do think he would draw the line at anything that actually involves really hurting you. Anything like blood/knife play or even degrading you might be a bit too much for him. Heās definitely more into really worshiping you.
Elliott usually takes the lead, but do feel free to switch it up a little. He isnāt opposed to receiving, though he may be nervous about it as heās always felt like he has to be the one on top. When it comes to bottoming for you, he honestly ends up enjoying it a lot more than he thought he would. Itās a sight to behold, is as if he loses that slightly smug dominant side all together and melts into pure submission in your hands. heās definitely one to tear up due to pure pleasure, wether youāre being gentle with him or being rough with him. he tries desperately to not be too loud, sometimes even biting his lip enough to bruise or bleed- but itās no use. heās a panting, whining and moaning mess beneath you no matter what, and heās slightly embarrassed just how much of a reaction you get out of him.
All around? Great sex partner. Go fuck your local beach hermit. poor guy is touch starved anyway Iād imagine, he needs a hug AND a good fuck.
I cannot love just one bachelor from Stardew Valley, no sir. I may do this for a few others like Sam, Harvey and maybe Shane but idk. Weāll see. Anyway, reader is not gendered per usual. Nsfw under the cutš
Total virgin. Iām glad this is something Stardew fans have just decided is canon. Anyway. If you yourself are a virgin as well heāll feel a bit more at ease- yet also a bit worried. If youāre giving him your v card (which he could get off on just the idea of), he wants to give you a good time. But on the other handā¦ he has no real experience either. Sure, heās watched his fair share of porn but none of that is like, real. Heās gonna do his absolute best to give you the best time heās capable of. But if you yourself arenāt a virgin, do this poor boy a favor and take the lead. He gets so much anxiety just worrying about performing for you, make sure to remind him heās supposed to enjoy himself too.
Him being cooped up in that basement has made him fairly starved of physical affection in general, so even little touches can get him a little excited, maybe more excited than he should. Specifically touches from you. Try your best to reassure him youāre flattered, because he feels a bit like a degenerate when he gets hard just from you snuggling up to him.
While Sebastian is a very shy person, heās a shy person with a decently high sex drive. He never can find himself able to initiate sex, he gets too nervous- but you can usually tell by his body language when heās feeling a bit needy. The bouncing of his leg combined with the light blush in his face are pretty good indicators you should check in and see if he needs some attention.
Expect a lot of worshipping from him during sex, at least whenever he can form words. When he gets worked up, he gets worked up. Iām talking his breathing gets labored just by seeing you unbuckle his belt or watching your hands run up his chest. His heart leaps to his throat and he begins to tremble with arousal even if youāre just giving him a few hickeys. Of course heās gonna try his best to play it off like heās totally not getting off to just the little things you do, but he 100% is. Even if you donāt have much experience in bed either, he is breathless at every little thing you do. it doesnāt matter if youāre fumbling over your own words or are awkwardly trying to get in a comfortable position, he finds all of it incredibly hot.
He tends to cum quickly, but will edge himself just to make sure you get to enjoy yourself too. He finds it embarrassing how easy you manage to get him to reach his peak, but he canāt help it when youāre just so fucking hot and so fucking good at this. Even if he does end up cumming a bit too quickly to his liking, heās the type who could go for a good handful of rounds.
Speaking of cum (lol), if you ever tell him youād like him to do so inside youā¦ youāll break him. He finds the idea so unbelievably lewd and would essentially freeze up if you told him thatās what youād like. heās absolutely willing to please you, though. Just donāt expect him to just cum once in you. Itās less of a breeding thing and more of aā¦ claiming thing. Though, heās not opposed to breeding you either. Just say the word.
Loud. Heās pretty fucking loud, so be thankful his basement room is sound proof or that your farm is fairly secluded from town. The noises he makes are absolutely pornographic, from his whines to his choked back throaty moans. He usually covers his mouth in an attempt to quiet himself, but itās never any use. He canāt seem to keep to himself how much heās enjoying what you do to him. Be sure to reassure him you find the noises he makes hot, he worries heās making a fool of himself.
Heās hardly got any self control when it comes to actual sex, so expect it to be a bit rough and fairly feverish. He fucks like heās going to lose you any day now or as if youāll disappear beneath his fingertips unless he rams his hips into yours. He loves to indulge in you, and itās quite the sight to see. His freckles disappear as his face glows a bright red, his eyes half lidded and clouded with love and lust all at once, his mouth parted as he pants and whines your name. He truly becomes puddy in your hands.
Would LOVE to go down on you if you let him. Heās always so eager to please you, plus he loves the idea of being squeezed by your thighs. He himself absolutely loves being on the receiving end of oral, so he most certainly wants to return the favor.
Tell him heās a good boy. Tell him how good heās fucking you, tell him heās good to you. He 100% has a praise kink, and it is absolutely something you should feed into if youāre looking to be bruised and covered in love bites- heāll completely wreck you. He loves hearing you sing his praises, and heāll definitely return the favor. Really even outside of full on sex, you can get him worked up by just calling him a good boy in any setting. Heāll be a bit flustered in public, but thatās not to say he doesnāt totally like itā¦
Heās not above jealousy fucking you. Heās not a super jealous person, but if he sees someone clearly coming onto you? It lights a unique flame within him. Heās not one for confrontation, but heāll do his best to make it clear you arenāt exactly up for grabs. If itās a common problem you have, he definitely gets a bit frustrated- frustrated enough to feel the need to prove youāre his. Itās really just to prove it to himself more that anyone else, to quiet his insecure thoughts about losing you. He can get a bit rough on those nights, but itās just to invoke a reaction out of you. So donāt be afraid to get loud and cry his name, itās exactly what he needs to hear.
Sebastian tends to be a bit more on the submissive side, so heās definitely down to bottom for you. if you thought he was a mess before, he is an absolute disaster beneath you. he absolutely loves it. Whisper praises into his ear, cover him in love bites, grip his hips hard enough to bruise- he LOVES it rough. While being on too often strokes his ego, he absolutely loves being completely wrecked by you. He especially loves when you completely overstimulate him, he loves being overwhelmed and being completely at your mercy.
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