Last year I made a log of my daily thoughts during the book fair and completely forgot to share them.
So please enjoy this extremely belated post about 2023's book fair! :D
New year, new secretary. I have tactfully requested that she not call the library to ask if I'm ready for customers when the schedule says I'm open. (If the fair opens at 7:30 and it's after 7:30, then it's super-duper obvious I'm open.)
Because EVERY YEAR the secretary calls the library to ask "you ready for customers?", and EVERY YEAR after I wade through a huge crowd of kids to get to the phone, it gets harder and harder to answer politely.
This year, we're open before the bell. Completely dead in the morning, not a single pre-bell customer. Exactly like I told the principal, who appeared to be disappointed that there wasn’t a rush on the very first day.
Good news: I finally remembered to ask for seed money before we opened the fair!
Bad news: I forgot to ask for fives and tens and my first customer of the entire fair is paying with a hundred dollar bill.
Kids used to Scholastic fairs find out that Literati doesn’t sell books with cheap necklaces and erasers attached. Stunned to have to choose books based on their interests. I edge inexorably closer to my “the kids these days” phase.
Me: “Teachers, please call ahead before you bring your entire class at once.”
Entire Fifth Grade: *turns up at the same time unannounced*
Fifth grader paying with his own Apple watch asking to return Stranger Things: Kamchatka because “it’s not really Stranger Things, it’s just a ripoff!”
Me: “Please remember the library is closed because I had to physically remove the check-in computer to make room for the registers.”
Teacher: [keeps sending kids to get new library books anyway]
No, you can’t use my phone to call your mom to ask for money.
No, you can't go to the office to call your mom to ask for money.
How to summon customers- sit down to do one (1) thing. This instantly activates a shopping frenzy.
Honey, how about you just give me all of your change right now instead of handing me yet another handful every time I finish counting?
Honey, how about you ask me how much things cost instead of buying one item at a time and seeing how much change you get back?
Kindergarten Music Program lets out, SWARMS OF PARENTS AND FAMILIES APPEAR! IT'S SUPER PROFITABLE!
Had to yell at a kid in front of their own mother. (It's okay, she agreed with me that kicking stuff is bad.)
Kid who returned the Stranger Things book annoyed that his refund hasn't reached his Apple Pay account yet. Purchases a poster instead. I suggest cash next time.
Principal and counselor bring the webcam in to promote the fair during morning announcements and do the pledges.
Me: *slowly and quietly finishes ringing a child up during the moment of silence, hoping nobody notices*
I am eternally grateful to my parent volunteer who is able to be here for hours on end and I wish nothing but the best for her and her daughters.
Pretty sure this fifth grade boy is buying little trinkets to woo the crowd of girls following him. I should probably touch base with his teachers about that.
I can tell you didn’t even try to read the book you picked. Because it’s in Spanish, that’s why. No, I know you don’t speak Spanish. Because I know your mom, that’s why.
Kid walks in, instead of shopping waits patiently by the register to ask me “Do I give you my money now?”
Kid who bought and returned Stranger Things book wants to return poster that is now dinged up.
To the kid who only has $5 for the week- I feel ya, but no matter how many times you bring me an item and ask "how much?", it doesn't change anything. I've already told you which items are in your price range.
Have to cut off the Stranger Things kid because he keeps wanting to return things that are no longer in sellable condition. Sorry, bro, this sale is final!
First Grader: *smugly buying a chapter book she can't read because she knows I can't do anything to stop her*
Me: *sells her the chapter book because she'll be able to read it eventually and maybe the spite will motivate her to practice more*
That's it, I’m making a list of basic financial lessons we need to start teaching the kids:
YOU HAVE TO ACCOUNT FOR SALES TAX
No, change is not “extra” money you get as a treat. No, you don’t get to decide how much change you get.
You can’t ignore the numbers after the decimal point. $2.99 does not mean $2.
When a price includes cents, that doesn’t mean you have to have exactly that much in coins. You can simply give me more dollars and then you will get change back.
The answer to “How much can I get with $20?” is “it depends on what you’re buying”.
The answer to “How much do the books cost?" is "it depends on what you're buying".
If you don't have enough money to buy the book you want, you can simply NOT buy anything today and bring the correct amount tomorrow.
...or you can bring three bucks every day, be surprised that the book still costs $10, then spend all your money on erasers and go home and ask for more money...
...okay, seriously I need to make a chart or a TikTok or something to explain this. You're sad you don't have enough money for that Dog Man book, but you brought $3 EVERY DAY and instead of saving it you bought trinkets that you keep losing! I WENT OVER THIS WITH YOU EVERY DAY, I DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE IT ANY EASIER!
To the 5th grader who only had $5 for the whole week and keeps buying and returning various items and is mystified that this hasn't resulted in him making a profit- I'm cutting you off for your own good, and also I'm sending an email to your math teacher to let her know you may need extra tutoring.
Book Fair Gift Card: *can only be spent on books*
Kid: *only wants a spy pen*
Me: *agrees to buy him the spy pen myself if he will pick a damn book already!*
Girl: "I have $15. How much is this?"
Me: "Let's see...with sales tax, it's gonna be ten dollars and eighty-one cents."
Girl: "Oh...I don't have any cents."
Principal: *aghast choking noise*
Me: *quickly defuses the incoming lecture with a Fun Math Lesson!*
Time to deploy the annual "We have nothing left under $X. Please don't send kids shopping if they have less than $X." email.
Gently turning away three dozen kids that have less than $X.
"If I bring $10, can I come shopping tomorrow?"
"Honey, tomorrow's Saturday."
"Next week is Spring Break."
Annual tradition of kids being shocked that this is the last day of the book fair despite all the posters and flyers saying the book fair only lasts a week.
Bonus points for the same kids being shocked every year that the book fair is not permanent addition to the library.
Volunteer Mom letting her daughters pick out some books to buy.
Her: "How about this one?"
Kid: "No! It's too learny!"
Me: *picked the wrong time to drink water*
Tracking down teachers to get them to pay for the books they set aside for themselves and their children. Finally down to the last teacher who was going to get a book for her kid. I open the library door to hear him in the middle of a tantrum and her yelling at him...
...I close the library door like "okay, guess he's not getting that book..."
Re-doing the final accounting because I forgot to factor in the startup cash.
Re-re-doing the final accounting because I forgot to pull books to purchase for the library
Going home to put on jammies and sleep for 12 straight hours!
2087
snowghoul
vaporwave
turnnoffyourmind
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