This was genuinely what it was like growing up in New Agey circles btw, my mum's friends would come round like "So I went out to the woods this weekend and fasted and meditated and I had a vision of the Sacred Stag and all my guardian angels and I asked them how to find love and they said that I need to focus on my own healing first and stop repeating cycles of the past" and then the very next week it'd be like "So I'm back with James again" girl..... the Sacred Stag could not have been more clear....
sherlock holmes deduces you are trans before you've figured it out yourself and refers to you with those pronouns and then when you look confused is like "ah...had you not arrived at that conclusion yet?" and wafts away in his dressing gown to smoke seventeen pipes, leaving you in a gender crisis
Hercule Poirot deduces you are trans by accident because he suspected you of murder and broke into your house and searched your stuff then puts 2 and 2 together when Hastings makes an innocuous observation about your fashion sense or something and he jumps up and cries “mon dieu!!!” before striding over to you kissing you on both cheeks and saying “ah, cher ami, you must live as you choose!” and then running off to confront the real culprit while you stand there in befuddlement
Columbo deduces you're trans from context clues while he's talking to you about the area, immediately uses your preferred pronouns and starts telling you about his cousin, who's also transgender, and how they got this job doing security, and how they told him that a security guard always locks up, and asks you if the guard locked up last night, and isn't it weird the place was open? And you're like, well, someone else must have opened it up. Maybe the guy in charge? He has a spare key. And then he nods and goes "the guy in charge has a spare key... well, how about that?" And then he offers you a cigar and wanders off, and a day later your boss gets arrested for murder.
Miss Fisher learns youre trans and simply gives you hormones, and a little cocaine as a treat. she also invites you out to a club to meet like minded individuals. at the club you watch as she seduces the bartender and then the next day the bartender is arrested for the murder.
(NBC) Hannibal is your therapist. You're just trying to get diagnosed with gender dysphoria so you can medically/legally transition. You end up wearing people instead. You're a narrative parallel to Will Graham's Becoming. You get put in the Baltimore State Hospital for the Criminally Insane. Chilton commits microaggressions against you and calls it therapy.
(The Magnus Archives) The Stranger pulls some weird supernatural stuff on you but you get a free transition? Then some guy who hasn't slept in years pulls the story out of you and you're the one not sleeping.
I'm not even gonna get into what would happen in Supernatural.
(Dead Boy Detectives) Crystal would realize and be so chill. Charles would be extra ally/wingman-y to show Edwin how much he accepts him. Edwin would be clueless but then sit you down and have a very good chat and be comforting. Niko would show you her trans manga.
Castle spends half an episode convinced you're at the center of a nefarious plot because he's been kicked from the precinct again and he needs something to do. Beckett comes along to hear him out so he shuts up about it. She realizes you're trans instantly and gives Castle a Look. He takes a second to loudly catch up and then realizes the actual culprit. Beckett realizes that this actually ties up the episode's main case. She sends Ryan and Esposito to collect the incriminating evidence and the episode ends.
In Warehouse 13, it's an open secret. They're all very nice about it but it's a little awkward. Jinks is your friend for no apparent reason because this show is old and would make the gay one and the trans one friends. An artifact that could help you transition is very obviously left out in the open but it's not confirmed they actually gave it to you. (They did.)
Father Brown deduces you're trans instantly and keeps quiet. At the end of the episode it has to be revealed. There's a big fuss and Mrs. McCarthy is quite affronted but Father Brown shushes her gently and Sid pats you on the back and gets you a pint. If Flambeau's there he would be shown starting to tell you in cool vagueries about all the trans and gay people he's met doing cat-burglar things before a hard cut.
With the new supporting cast, Father Brown deduces you're trans instantly and has to tell Mrs. Devine and Brenda. They're confused but they've got the spirit. Brenda is rather cheerful about it. Mrs. Devine puts her whole theater background into it and is a little (lot) Much. Shenanagins ensue as they try not to let Inspector Sullivan find out because I'm pretty sure it would be a crime in that era? He finds out and has to decide between arresting you or the killer. He reluctantly admits you did nothing wrong. It's heavily implied that Flambeau has crossdressed.
Death in Paradise quickfire because idk who's in which cast anymore. Inspector Poole treats you the exact same as everyone else; distantly and gruffly. Everyone thinks Commander Patterson doesn't know but at the end of the episode he reveals that he does with a knowing twinkle in his eye and surprising kindness. Camille wouldn't ever openly acknowledge it because it's not relevant, but she would be graceful with the subject. Humphrey would be extremely awkward about it but it's in good spirit. Original JP would be supportive but he has Other Problems. Cameo JP would like be a gender mentor or something. Florence would have a great supportive line that an irl trans person is sentimental about. Catherine would tell you about queer nightlife on San Marie. Darlene would hype you up so well & gender you correctly. Jack Mooney would know weird amounts of trans culture/jokes. It's never revealed how he knows. Neville would be painfully oblivious the whole time. Painfully. Marlon would misgender you, get corrected, apologise, never mess up again. The new inspector would seem transphobic but it's revealed he has another hidden relative somewhere who is also trans. Dwayne would gender you correctly but it a way that is uncomfortable and puts the genders in little boxes. (I do love all of them though.)
(Grimm) Sargeant Wu would realize and be so chill about it. Then Hank would realize and be very sure not to misgender you. Then the Main Plot gets you and Nick has to protect you Grimm style so he takes you to his house. You haven't passed to him :/ Juliette corrects him but gets a little straight girl ally. Nick also corrects himself. Bud shows up and is his awkward endearing self about it. It's a bit 2011. Monroe shows up to fight the plot demons and is very chill and respectful. After you survive the Plot, he takes you to Rosalee's apothecary to get hormones. You being Wessen is 100% an allegory or metaphor.
(White Collar) Neil would realize you're trans instantly and be very cool about it. (This is partially due to actor choices but the writers tried. I guess.) Peter is very 'confused but supportive dad.' It goes without saying that Elizabeth is awesome. Mozzie spits up the worlds most transphobic anti-government conspiracy. Neil elbows him and he somehow weasels his way out of it. I know I said that writers of the era would make the trans and gay ones friends but Diana isn't even in this criminal subplot. Neither is Jones.
(Dept Q) Carl Morck would be so very transphobic. On purpose. For the bit. It's not funny. Merritt would be genuinely a little transphobic. Akram would be very polite and considerate and careful about it. Rose would mess up and apologize way too profusely but then be pretty good. Hardy would tease you and maybe go too far, but never mean anything bad. Martin would be very new age chill about it in ways that I would find very invasive. William is also likes you. (I love these guys <3)
In Eureka you live there and have been out and proud for ages. Everyone is supportive. Jack is confused and messes up for a bit but gets it right eventually. The dog catcher nearly kills you when he gets outsmarted by that dog again. That's not trans related. Henry is making hormones+ in his garage despite being a physicist/engineer. The annoying small time antagonist played by Wil Wheaton is majorly transphobic. (I loved this show as a kid so we're all pretending it's not horrible okay.)
(Haven) Audrey is sterilely and pollitically correctly an ally. Nathan does his eyebrow thing. Duke has to be told but he takes it in stride and tries to be your wingman, even if you weren't looking for that. The Rev is a POS.
Idk what Bosch does but he's on in the other room. Probably his daughter Tells Him the Things because she is Of the Youths.
many women are excited to get old and weird, but i have great news that it's fully possible to become weird now, before you get old. just imagine the heights of weirdness you will be able to reach in fifty years if you get started now. that's what I think
u can tell the 4chan migration on here was successful / we lost the culture war bc anytime i even touch a post regarding autism i automatically get recommended more post about it and the post will literally have phrases like “total neurotypical death” with 20k notes and a bunch of high functioning white autistic ppl rbing it happily and giggling and whatever not even caring that “tnd” is a racist dog whistle no not even a dog whistle just straight up a racist chant but if u ask them to stop using it they go “so now we cant even complain about neurotypical?????” as if thats whats being criticized instead of the fact that yall r extremely open to fascism as long as its fun
to clarify any variation of “total ____ death” is just a rebranding of the nazi slogan “total nigger death” like. ur just using a nazi slogan, u cannot swap out black people in that phrase and think its okay to use now, especially if ur still using a word that starts with the letter n like im kinda sick of yall being so okay with hating black people
My abortion was really one the most hated kind of abortion. I wasn't underage. I wasn't raped. I wasn't in medical need.
I got pregnant not through some fluke or 1 in a 100 contraceptive failure. I got pregnant because I was knowingly and willfully having unprotected sex. Out of wedlock too if that matters.
It was my own fault, I was being irresponsible because I knew I could always get an abortion if I got pregnant. My abortion was as close as it comes to 'using abortion as a contraceptive' as anti-choicers love to say.
I didn't abort it because my health was in danger or because I didn't have the ability to care for it or whatever else. I did it purely because I didn't want a child. I wanted sex and I didn't want to deal with any consequences from it.
There's no moral here. I don't feel bad about it whatsoever. I suffered no karmic consequences or punishment from god. My life is amazing. I want to rub this in the face of every conservative and anti-choicer. I did the terrible thing. I had an abortion for the most selfish of reasons and literally nothing happened. Suck it.
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