(Don't you dare give up) @thecosimaproject-blog - Tumblr Blog

first time on tumblr in years and damn every part of this platform was devoured by the rich, greedy, and basic bitches of society. There is not a shell of this websites former Skelton here because why when I google WLW tag, nothing but porn bots and OnlyFans come up. Damn we cant have SHIT without yall RUINING IT

A Blog... a ramble

Hey yall, or to anyone that reads this. I need to just speak out thoughtlessly into the void of the internet and if somehow anyone listens, I appreciate one person for once, doing so. I started this account when I was 17. I am now 23, and yet, time doesn't feel all that different. Not as changed, yet changed entirely. You're 20s are a frustrating paradox, and something I am both annoyed and discomforted by, and entirely enamored with. I both hope to find myself one day, and also be in a constant and endlessly state of self death and rediscovery.

I moved home after college, a finanical burden I wouldn't quiet wish on anyone. I did graduate college though, a big feat- especially through college. I work at a job I hate, with morals and beliefs I disagree with. But... it pays me well, and in this point of my life, I feel that's all I should be grateful to ask for. I live 80% of my days now in a lie. A lie of who i am, what I am interested in, with no friends, no support system, and no belief in who I am or could be. I feel stifled, and entirely incapable of self expressing.

I want to cover my face in piercings, dye then shave my head. I am sick of my hair, and entirely sick of being feminine, and the gaze it requires of me. I hate how less I am seen. Where in college I could dominate conversations, leading groups to charge, now I am nothing but the young kid with nothing to offer. I want to show my tits into the crowd, and drag each skin into a new tattoo parole. But most of all, I want to fuck girls and smoke my shit. Yet I am stuck everyday, turning down the endless suggestions of my naive coworkers to date their grandsons. No ma'am, I do not.

The most frustrating part of all this, living back in the walls I did as a teenager, is feeling as though I am digressing. Back into my insecure, unaccomplished, and unfeeling teenage self. I know this to not be me, but a state of the city I am engulfed in, the politics of my family, and the cold state of the state I am trapped in. But where I was once trapped just due to age, I am now financially. I do not want to return to her. I do not feel true.

Most days I want to flee into the woods, drive off onto the highway, and never look back. But logic, and the incessant need for financial security always brings me back to my job, to my responsibilities, and to my community-less life. I cannot keep on like such. I feel my true self withering away into my old shell and I want to claw at my skin to keep her here with me.

Please don't let me go too.

stileslittlebanshee

rhaenyra-daemon

Daemon Targaryen + Text Posts

Part 1 | Part 2

10-813-08

rhaenyra-daemon

Daemon Targaryen + Text Posts

rhaenyra-daemon

Laenor: We can't manipulate, manwhore, or mansplain our way out of this one

Daemon: Manslaughter it is then

prokopetz

Finding out that George R R Martin co-wrote the Game of Thrones prequel series is genuinely funny. Everybody’s like “just finish the damn book, George”, and he’s like “fuck you, we’re going backwards”.