Watch Gnomeo and Juliet or never speak to me again.
Was I wrong about Thor? Was I wrong about the talking dogs in Up? If my endorsement still means nothing to you, I'll explain myself. In no particular order:
James McAvoy is Gnomeo. And is he ever.
Dolly Gnome. That's right. Dolly. Dolly Parton. As lawn gnome. As lawn gnome Dolly Parton.
Pointy hat euphemisms. Because the characters are LAWN GNOMES.
It's a musical, a real, musical-style musical. I'm quoting myself directly here, circa six minutes into watching: "Oh my f***ing god, they dance."
Soundtrack consisting almost exclusively of classic Elton John songs. I'm talking: Your Song, Saturday Night's Alright, Hello Hello. YOU: Are you KIDDING? ME: NO I AM NOT.
Bollywood breakout dance scenes. But. With. Lawn. Gnomes. They form lines. They move through them. Their shit is tight. They referring here to lawn gnome Shakespearean characters.
Shakespeare/theatre/Shakespearean theatre jokes more than even I could follow. I kept noticing onces I missed each time and I watched it <embarrassing number of> times.
Jason Statham as Tybalt. I would not even think of lying to you about this.
Ozzy Osbourne is a fawn lawn statue, though essentially he plays himself.
It's an adaptation and as everyone knows: adaptations > (all moves - starring Mark Wahlberg). Adaptations of Romeo and Juliet are perhaps overdone, but how many adaptations of Baz Luhrman's adaptation of Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet have you ever seen? And how many of those were performed by lawn gnomes? Because that's essentially exactly what we're talking about here. Are we talking? Are we?
The characters are ceramic, so they clink when they touch each other and things. <Gnomeo and Juliet kiss> <ceramic clink>
So, so many internet/computer jokes
You shouldn't still be reading this. What is your problem.
