TheDeathBunnie's Artfluffs @thedeathbunnie - Tumblr Blog

hahaha look at this shit nobodyeven notices or cares abuot this shit im spewing is this not hialarious

i geuss i got my answer right

adnw hen they come back ill just act liek anothings worng because thats how i roll

theyll never even know and its righthere for the world to see but hey nobody looks at my shitm not even my 'friends' all fucking three of yhou who dont give a shit about me but want me to be there when youre board so you can talk about shit i dont care about whiel i gush over you because i just want to see you all hapyp but i cant do this anymore im so tired of smiling for you when my heart is breaking because im just a forgotten pile of shit watching you have the kind of funt hat you never had with me and never even invied me to be a part of because im a aWORTHLESS PIEL OF SHIT

picture of a fucking cat and the world goes nutes

picture of some douche blike 'oh gawd rebolg if u care about the gays' and ten billion fucking jackasses smear it alkl over the internet

but beg for love or just a srape of attenction from the people who say theyre your friends

ask that your 'firnds' stop ignorign you when youre in tears

ask to be noticed by yoru 'friends' once or twice a month

and not one fucking person givees enough shits to even give ti a second glance

i got a shitpile of hate mail from defending one of you or actually you know it wasn't you i was defending one of the friends that youve replaced me with and hahahahahahaha i go tall that hate mail and stood up for them and u didnt even notice

lie to my face and say you didn get my message but you know what i see you on facebook and i know youre there and i see you on tumblr and i know you know i posted this shit but you didnt bother to look did you becfaused you didnt give a shit about what i have to sy because im not part of your life anymore im worthless

bgut thats just me becuaswe it has to be if this many people want to forget about me like everyone else then i know its my fAULT for being a pathetic person thawts just misreable to be aorund

dont knoe what i thought id get mayb esome pity or a fucking im from them or just fucking anything to aknowledfge my existene beucase ive nevr asked for anything iv ejust always come back with a smile no amatter how long they forget about me but i get nothing nothing becaus et thats wha ti fucking am

nothing

Contemplating drawing something. I kind of want to draw my Mordesh or my Aurin but it’s pretty obvious that only one person looks at my posts and I’ll never RP either of them so really….why bother? Why bother with anything, honestly? The world wouldn't notice if I just stopped existing. It's amazing how quickly I'm forgotten and how easy I am to ignore.

It's joyous to know that your friends are finally happy.

It's sad to realize they're happy without you.

It's painful when you're forgotten.

It's hard to give up, but

It's time to.

I don't know what to do when friends have me blocked from AIM, but yet don't IM me or respond to my IMs when I know they're online because I see them on Facebook and Tumblr. ._. Sometimes I wonder if I'm honestly that obnoxious that 75% of my friend list tries to pretend I don't exist.

I guess I should take a hint.

I have so few friends. I have more fingers on one hand than I have friends I love to speak with and long to chat with, RP with, or even just listen to vent. And here I am, sitting here alone. I see them playing. They're on Tumblr, posting their epic RPs. They're on Facebook chatting with friends. They're out there playing games of all kinds. And I know they're there, because I see these things just in my daily like. So-and-so has posted a blog. So-and-so has commissioned a picture that I see pop up on somoene else's blog. So-and-so liked this picture on Facebook.

I see you there. I long to speak with you, all of you. You're the joy in my life, the reason I love to log on. And yet there you are. Without me. I'm so happy for you. I love you, dear ones. I'm so glad that you're finally getting the roleplay you deserve or finding a game you truly love or have more friends to chat with. This pleases me so much. I only wish that this didn't come with the downside of being forgotten, neglected, and ignored.

Why? Because I'm the pathetic one. I'm the one that can't make friends. I'm the one that will always be there when something happens and they're alone, or bored, or have been dumped. I'll be right there like nothing ever happened, and they know that. My love is unconditional for my dear friends. Like a mutt that's been abandoned on the side of the road when the family moved, I will sit outside the door of the house that's no longer theirs and wait patiently for them to return and be happy to see them when they're back.

I'm so glad that you're happy. I'm not jealous or angry or spiteful. I'm happy, I'm so, so happy. You deserve all that's wonderful, all of you. But here I sit, alone. Ignored. My messages go unanswered, my messenger box is empty. I know you're there, chatting and playing and Roleplaying and gaming and having fun. And I know that you choose to ignore my messages. And yet I can't get mad at you, because you're all so dear to me and I love you.

Have your fun. I wish you all the best. I wish you joy and happiness, I wish you the fun that I could never bring you. I wish you the warmth of friends all around you, even when I'm not invited. I wish you the excitement of new discoveries and new horizons even when I'm not there to share them with you. And when everything is done, and should you ever need someone to fall back to if everything should go awry, I will be here for you. Like an abandoned mutt, waiting patiently for its family to come home.

Unconditional.

Four people on my messenger friend list. That's all. Only one of them shows up as online. The other three seem to be offline, and they don't answer my posts. Yet I know they're online because they're posting on Facebook and Tumblr and things. *sigh* I guess everyone needs a break from me.

completelyaddicted-blog

I normally try to avoid commenting on, supporting, or reblogging any posts on tumblr that seem like they will result in drama, fighting, or general misery between the people involved. I have seen many, many posts directed at Brad (Lucius/Annexious), as well as posts made by him that spark…

solarine

This. When Lucius/Brad is being an asshole, at least he has the balls to own it and say it to your face. The anon hate blaming the WOMEN he roleplays with was just disgusting.

mongoose-and

I really, truly do not agree with everything that completelyaddicted is saying, here. I don’t understand a concept of ‘friendship’ that includes ‘just ignore’ someone.

I agree that anon hate is bad and unhelpful. I agree that there is nothing to be gained by spreading more hate and abuse for the hate and abuse that’s already out there. But ignoring a person’s bad behavior and accepting that they are ‘just an asshole’ is doing three things: 1) It is ignoring and diminishing that person, telling others that the person does not matter. 2) It is ignoring that person’s actions, telling others that those actions do not matter. 3) It is ignoring the victims of that person’s actions, telling others that the victims themselves do not matter. People have real grievances with this individual. Those grievances exist inside the game and outside the game. Seeing this person in game, in tumblr, and elsewhere presents real problems for the people who feel abused by him. That abuse is not addressed - by definition - when they are told that they must ‘just ignore’ the abuser. It’s a way of protecting said abuser from their actions, and it happens at the expense of the victim. Again, I COMPLETELY disagree that anyone should be blaming or abusing the people who RP with him or support him. That isn’t going to help anything at all. That’s not what I’m trying to push myself, nor should anyone else. 'Just ignore it' is never an appropriate response to abuse though. Let me offer a contrary view, tough - if we know that this individual is abusive, and we know that abusive behavior is a problem… how is that problem resolved by ‘just ignoring’ it? When has a problem with a person’s abusive actions ever been solved by ‘just ignore it’? I think that is wrong, and I think it begs the question - how is this any different from what the social justice-side of tumblr would call ‘rape culture’?

tyrellia

Because “rape culture” implies the possibility of, y’know. Rape. Which is kind of not possible over the internet. “Ignore” refers to the Ignore function on World of Warcraft, which prevents all incoming chat messages. In effect, a block - If you don’t like someone, you don’t have to listen to them. At all.

In the ENTIRE time I’ve known Brad, I’ve NEVER seen him harass anyone who has actually TOLD HIM OUTRIGHT to leave them alone. I hear about it way later in several different versions. Should he be better about taking hints? Sure. But it’s also important to be able to say no - Believe me, if he was harassing people when they TOLD HIM NO, I wouldn’t associate with him anymore. As it stands, the only people who claim to have had problems with him AFTER trying to cut contact are the ones who are trying to stir up drama.

tl;dr nut up and tell him to shut up. Blocking works as a feature, and he’s not the sort to go around the ignore function.

pocketfox

Expanding on this idea of ignoring and blocking as actual actions:

Only a few weeks ago I got myself out of an emotionally abusive “friendship”. I let it go on for over a year before friends convinced me to get up the courage do to something about it. You know what I did?

I removed myself from the situation.

I left the person a message telling them exactly what I was doing and why, and then I blocked them. Everywhere. AIM, Skype, Tumblr, RID, in-game character names, pet sites we play on, everything. I voluntarily stepped off the raid team we shared, even though it was hard, because I didn’t want to be around my abuser.

I don’t look for this person in WoW. I don’t go to their Tumblr. I don’t ask mutual friends what’s going on with or around them. I removed myself from their life and them from mine.

What I didn’t do was leave open channels of communication and put myself in this person’s general vicinity (in game or out) in order to, essentially, find more ammo and drum up more drama. I dealt with the situation. And once it was dealt with, it was done. I didn’t keep chasing ghosts for the sake of continuing to smear this person not just to friends — mutual or otherwise — but to the game and internet communities at large.

And on a final note, you know who was essentially the instigator of me being able to free myself from that abusive “friendship”? The one who picked up on my panic attack through text and basically staged an intervention out of concern for a friend?

Yeah, Brad did.

thedeathbunnie

The “ignore” button works quite well online, actually. Because the internet can be turned off. You cannot equate an online abusive relationship to a real life abusive relationship, because you actually CAN turn off an online relationship. Block and ignore work just fine. It’s hard to do, and you may have to be pushed to do it, but you CAN do it. Not so easy in real life. Real life abusive relationships can actually end in murder or physical violence - they can cut your phone lines, steal your car keys and lock you in a room. For that, the ‘ignore’ tactic does not work. But reality is not the same as fantasy/roleplay or even the same as online. For those of you who still can’t seem to understand that roleplay does not equal reality, you really should probably turn off your computers for a while. It’s a bit scary.

Y’know, I can’t wrap my head around this. That people think that people who RP rapists are rapists themselves, or that those they RP with are somehow honestly desiring to be attacked in real life.

I may be a bit older than some of you, but I remember when steamy romance novels were a huge thing. They still are, but not as big as they used to be. And in those books there were always women being ravished by dangerous and dashing men with greased chests crawling in their windows or cornering them in a barn or some crap. This person is saying, by logical extension, that any woman who has read a romance novel wants to be raped because she enjoys a story where a woman has a chance encounter of dubious consent that is heavily romanticized.

Lemme tell you something. I’ve read and enjoyed my share of steamy stories where a dark and devastatingly handsome man slips in through the reluctant heroine’s window and ravishes her through the night until she’s begging for it. And I’ll tell you right now - the first stranger to crawl through my window in real life in a similar fashion and attempt that is going to get clubbed to death with a high heel shoe.

On top of that, you’re also essentially saying that a loving couple who roleplays in the bedroom a little “Oh noes, home intruder!” or “Oh help, I’ve been kidnapped!” scenario is right in the same boat.

Fantasy does not equal reality. Fantasy desire does not equal reality desire. l2common sense.

mongoose-and

I think people need to understand what we are not talking about when we say “this person has committed sexually abusive acts”: - We are not talking about Rape RP. Rape RP is a consensual RP activity that depicts non-consensual sexual activity. There is, by definition, consent involved between two players with Rape RP. Nobody - to my knowledge - is saying that this is sexual abuse (it’s not), and even if someone were, it is not *my* position that it is, so that is not what I mean when I say “This person has sexually abused”. - We are not talking about a physical rape - or a sexual assault - of an individual. At no point did the body of the abuser and the victim - to my knowledge, make contact. This would be likely considered ‘sexual harassment’ under U.S. laws.

- We are not talking about consensual sexual activity of any sort, physical or otherwise.

What we are talking about is:

- Sexual abuse - non consensual sexual behavior - that occurred, in game and out of game, in a disrespectful and out-of-character fashion.

- Sexual abuse that occurred over voice chat and text chat, with two people (or more) in a private conversation.

Believe me, I would not be bringing this up if I felt that everything that happened was between two consenting adults. I am the last person to judge a person’s tastes, and I have no interest in starting to judge them, now. Also, as I’ve mentioned in other places, “it’s not as bad as ‘real’ rape” is not a valid excuse for bad behavior. (That’s like saying “It’s not as bad as murder!” when someone deletes all of your files or replaces all of your pantry with rotten food). Abuse is a problem, and “just ignore it” is not the solution. I’s not a solution for the victim. (the abuser can still interact with them and cause them harm) It’s not a solution for the abuser. (nothing corrective has been done to keep them from taking further abusive actions) It’s not a solution for the community. (we sit back and let either of these things continue to perpetuate)

thedeathbunnie

You seem like a really reasonable person, which is refreshing! Usually the people in arguments like this are blind and flailing. It's wonderful to have a conversation like this with someone that actually makes sense.

That being said, I do need to clear up some misconceptions that are floating around. This guy, so far as online goes, has not committed sexual abuse. I don't know him, never met him, haven't said two words to him. But I know he hasn't committed sexual abuse. The law breaks down into three basic categories:

Sexual Harassment: This is when someone says something sexually inappropriate. This can be an unwelcome comment, or even just someone calling you "hey sexy baby." Sexual Harassment is words only.

Sexual Abuse: Abuse is physical. When an unwelcome person touches you, pushes up against you, grabs your butt or otherwise places hands on you in a way that you do not approve of.

Sexual Assault: This is rape. An unwelcome act of penetrative sex, whether penetration is genitals, fingers, objects or whatever.

Due to this being the internet and none of us actually touching, the very worst this guy could have done was sexual harassment. Now, in real life sexual harassment is a problem and has to be dealt with. "Ignoring it" doesn't work, because often it gets worse as time progresses. But on the internet, people are just words. And if you don't like words, you can block them. You can choose not to look at them. This doesn't make the harm they've done go away, but it makes sure that they can't harm you further. In the internet society, ignoring them does fix the problem because eventually when they've insulted and harassed everyone in range they will be ignored by everyone and isolated. They will be alone, with nobody to harass.

Reading what you wrote, it does seem that he may have committed sexual harassment. I wouldn't put it past him - a lot of people on the internet say inappropriate things. I'm not here to defend him or condemn him..as I said, I don't even know him! What got me into this conversation was the actual words of these people who don't like him. They DID call him a rapist.

In fact, thus far:

They've called him a rapist and a pervert in real life for roleplaying dark scenarios.

They've called him a rapist in real life for saying something crude on the internet.

They've called the people he roleplayed with "broken sluts who want to be raped in real life."

They've harassed artists for "creating art for rapists" when they were just commissioned artists doing a job for a person they probably don't even know personally.

This is where I'm having a serious problem. Because I play evil, sick characters. And I, in turn, like to play with evil sick characters. I abuse the hell out of my characters, and like to abuse the hell out of other people's characters. I have friends that are commission artists, as well. By these people asserting that people playing sick characters are sick in real life, harassing artists just trying to eek out a living is okay if they do it for people they don't like, and by calling their RP partners horrible slurs (slurs which are, ironically, sexual harassment as well), they are extending these insults to me for doing the same thing. And I will not stand for that.

evanyellsartblog

Been seeing this going around a few times...

Over the past year I’ve only seen this sort of situation happen a handful of times to a small number of artists, both on DA, Tumblr and Enjin. But…

If you have a problem with another roleplayer, player or some person, don’t attack the artist who did art for them. That artist was paid by a stranger they didn’t know, and they don’t care about the details of that person’s history IRL or In roleplay. As artists, we don’t give a shit. We don’t know your personal drama between folks, and we don’t really care.

"You shouldn’t do art for ____ because they are a bad person" Says some random anon. Anon, we don’t know you. We don’t know the other person. We just offer a service and do a job. We don’t care about petty roleplay drama. We just do art and get paid. Don’t ever blame the artist for doing art for someone you don’t like. Are you paying for the artwork? No? Then please sit down and mind your own business. Take your drama elsewhere.

If the artist knows you personally, and they know the situation, that’s up to them to decide if they wish to do work for the client or not. Some artists have blacklists, others do not. For the most part, how dare you, Anon, for attacking an Artist who has nothing to do with the drama. Shame on you.

thedeathbunnie

This, eleventy billion times.

#art #commission artists #roleplay #stop it assholes

completelyaddicted-blog

I normally try to avoid commenting on, supporting, or reblogging any posts on tumblr that seem like they will result in drama, fighting, or general misery between the people involved. I have seen many, many posts directed at Brad (Lucius/Annexious), as well as posts made by him that spark…

solarine

This. When Lucius/Brad is being an asshole, at least he has the balls to own it and say it to your face. The anon hate blaming the WOMEN he roleplays with was just disgusting.

mongoose-and

I really, truly do not agree with everything that completelyaddicted is saying, here. I don’t understand a concept of ‘friendship’ that includes ‘just ignore’ someone.

I agree that anon hate is bad and unhelpful. I agree that there is nothing to be gained by spreading more hate and abuse for the hate and abuse that’s already out there. But ignoring a person’s bad behavior and accepting that they are ‘just an asshole’ is doing three things: 1) It is ignoring and diminishing that person, telling others that the person does not matter. 2) It is ignoring that person’s actions, telling others that those actions do not matter. 3) It is ignoring the victims of that person’s actions, telling others that the victims themselves do not matter. People have real grievances with this individual. Those grievances exist inside the game and outside the game. Seeing this person in game, in tumblr, and elsewhere presents real problems for the people who feel abused by him. That abuse is not addressed - by definition - when they are told that they must ‘just ignore’ the abuser. It’s a way of protecting said abuser from their actions, and it happens at the expense of the victim. Again, I COMPLETELY disagree that anyone should be blaming or abusing the people who RP with him or support him. That isn’t going to help anything at all. That’s not what I’m trying to push myself, nor should anyone else. 'Just ignore it' is never an appropriate response to abuse though. Let me offer a contrary view, tough - if we know that this individual is abusive, and we know that abusive behavior is a problem… how is that problem resolved by ‘just ignoring’ it? When has a problem with a person’s abusive actions ever been solved by ‘just ignore it’? I think that is wrong, and I think it begs the question - how is this any different from what the social justice-side of tumblr would call ‘rape culture’?

tyrellia

Because “rape culture” implies the possibility of, y’know. Rape. Which is kind of not possible over the internet. “Ignore” refers to the Ignore function on World of Warcraft, which prevents all incoming chat messages. In effect, a block - If you don’t like someone, you don’t have to listen to them. At all.

In the ENTIRE time I’ve known Brad, I’ve NEVER seen him harass anyone who has actually TOLD HIM OUTRIGHT to leave them alone. I hear about it way later in several different versions. Should he be better about taking hints? Sure. But it’s also important to be able to say no - Believe me, if he was harassing people when they TOLD HIM NO, I wouldn’t associate with him anymore. As it stands, the only people who claim to have had problems with him AFTER trying to cut contact are the ones who are trying to stir up drama.

tl;dr nut up and tell him to shut up. Blocking works as a feature, and he’s not the sort to go around the ignore function.

pocketfox

Expanding on this idea of ignoring and blocking as actual actions:

Only a few weeks ago I got myself out of an emotionally abusive “friendship”. I let it go on for over a year before friends convinced me to get up the courage do to something about it. You know what I did?

I removed myself from the situation.

I left the person a message telling them exactly what I was doing and why, and then I blocked them. Everywhere. AIM, Skype, Tumblr, RID, in-game character names, pet sites we play on, everything. I voluntarily stepped off the raid team we shared, even though it was hard, because I didn’t want to be around my abuser.

I don’t look for this person in WoW. I don’t go to their Tumblr. I don’t ask mutual friends what’s going on with or around them. I removed myself from their life and them from mine.

What I didn’t do was leave open channels of communication and put myself in this person’s general vicinity (in game or out) in order to, essentially, find more ammo and drum up more drama. I dealt with the situation. And once it was dealt with, it was done. I didn’t keep chasing ghosts for the sake of continuing to smear this person not just to friends — mutual or otherwise — but to the game and internet communities at large.

And on a final note, you know who was essentially the instigator of me being able to free myself from that abusive “friendship”? The one who picked up on my panic attack through text and basically staged an intervention out of concern for a friend?

Yeah, Brad did.

thedeathbunnie

The "ignore" button works quite well online, actually. Because the internet can be turned off. You cannot equate an online abusive relationship to a real life abusive relationship, because you actually CAN turn off an online relationship. Block and ignore work just fine. It's hard to do, and you may have to be pushed to do it, but you CAN do it. Not so easy in real life. Real life abusive relationships can actually end in murder or physical violence - they can cut your phone lines, steal your car keys and lock you in a room. For that, the 'ignore' tactic does not work. But reality is not the same as fantasy/roleplay or even the same as online. For those of you who still can't seem to understand that roleplay does not equal reality, you really should probably turn off your computers for a while. It's a bit scary.

Y'know, I can't wrap my head around this. That people think that people who RP rapists are rapists themselves, or that those they RP with are somehow honestly desiring to be attacked in real life.

I may be a bit older than some of you, but I remember when steamy romance novels were a huge thing. They still are, but not as big as they used to be. And in those books there were always women being ravished by dangerous and dashing men with greased chests crawling in their windows or cornering them in a barn or some crap. This person is saying, by logical extension, that any woman who has read a romance novel wants to be raped because she enjoys a story where a woman has a chance encounter of dubious consent that is heavily romanticized.

Lemme tell you something. I've read and enjoyed my share of steamy stories where a dark and devastatingly handsome man slips in through the reluctant heroine's window and ravishes her through the night until she's begging for it. And I'll tell you right now - the first stranger to crawl through my window in real life in a similar fashion and attempt that is going to get clubbed to death with a high heel shoe.

On top of that, you're also essentially saying that a loving couple who roleplays in the bedroom a little "Oh noes, home intruder!" or "Oh help, I've been kidnapped!" scenario is right in the same boat.

Fantasy does not equal reality. Fantasy desire does not equal reality desire. l2common sense.

captain-angry-dingo-deactivated

Any woman that RPs with you is basically a damaged worthless slut that wants to be abused horribly. I have seen the logs. You're a horrible rapist, and I honestly believe you'd hurt people in real life if you could get enough power.

That’s kinda a terrible thing to say to someone. It’s one thing to play an awful character, it’s another to be so twisted and damaged OOC you actually can’t differentiate roleplay from the player behind the screen. Just because my character kills someone, as I’m sure at least one of yours has, doesn’t mean I’m a murderer. Furthermore, rape is a very sore topic, and you should really be ashamed for bringing it up so carelessly.

Thank you for the ask, though!

pocketfox

This is quite possibly the ugliest, most disgusting hate I’ve seen on Tumblr to date, anon or no.

I’m a woman, and I RP with Brad, and I love doing it. So that makes me “a damaged worthless slut” who “wants to be abused horribly”?

Fuck you, anon. Fuck you. Where the fuck do you get off? You’re no better than those shitbags who say if a woman is raped, she obviously deserved it or was asking for it.

It’s one thing to have a passive-aggressive, anonymous hate-on for Brad, but what the fuck is wrong with you to pull the women he RPs with into it and tell us, basically, that we deserve to be abused and/or raped?

You are scum.

thedeathbunnie

As a woman who usually RPs the part of the horrible, cannibal sadistic serial-rapist bastards, I’d like to chime in here and point out that there are people in this world who can tell the difference between fantasy and reality. I in no way feel that those who RP with my sick bastard characters are damaged - I feel that they have some dark fantasies, but hey, so do I. DURR.

That being said, fantasies are not reality - especially when it comes to roleplayers. We’re a different breed - a person with infinite imagination and the skill and talent to weave that imagination into words that can be crafted into a story with the help of friends. As such, when it comes to roleplayers’ fantasies they are rarely things that they wish would come true…they’re usually things that we can enjoy solely because we know they can’t come true. In fact I’ll go out on a limb here and take an educated guess that a lot of roleplayers enjoy playing the sort of stories that are far from reality, and the closer the stories get to their own real life the less comfortable they are with them.

The thing is, we can step back and look at just casual, normal, vanilla RP. Let’s say in my RP I find out that my character’s mother died trying to save them, and that this causes them mental trauma that makes them want to kill their self. So wait, because I RPed this story, does this mean that I want to kill myself? No, it means that I enjoy writing a story with a friend about a character that this happens to, because that’s what RP is - it’s writing a story with a friend.

The thing is, there are always going to be people like this anon who can’t separate roleplay from reality. And it’s always going to be these people who get butthurt over things and write anon hate mail because they also wish to roleplay these dark scenes but are too shy or too inept to find a partner to play these scenes with, so they only thing they can do is throw spitballs between the monkeybars like the inadequate children they are.

You, my dear anon, are sadly one of the ones who is unable to tell fantasy from reality. In all likelihood you are a very poor an unimaginative roleplayer who tends to play characters based off of existing characters from anime or books that you think are original. They almost always have a last name that is made up of two words, and one of those words is “dark,” “black,” “hammer,” or “night.” They are dark and misunderstood, and while reclusive and silent they can be very warm and friendly when they find the right person. They are often half breeds or half-something. Am I on the mark?

Of course I could be wrong, and you could be the type that really wants to have some kind of violent sexual roleplay but are unable to find anyone who would traipse near you due to psychotic, over-emotional victim complexes that you make up for the sole sake of getting attention. You ask random people to violate your characters, or you go around looking for roleplayers that you'd like to violate your characters and are so offended when they reject your creepy advances you start trying to defame them in various ways simply because their rejection caused your Social Justice Alarm to go off in that adorably hypocritical way it tends to do. How about that one? A little closer?

You want to impress us, anon? Prove that you’re not an inadequate child. Nut up and post that mail with a face behind it. Until then, your opinion means just about as much as a four year old’s advice on how to make babies.

Mom made it through chemo well, and Sunshine discovered that the hot air from my laptop's fan makes an excellent toe warmer.

#kitty #personal

As if things haven't been bad enough lately, and as if today hasn't been the worst day I've had in a long, long time, this came along.

Anders was looking a little sickly and he had a bite on his shoulder. He's half our kitty, half neighborhood kitty. While he loves to cuddle and sprawl around indoors, at night he tears the house apart if we don't let him out to wander. So likely he got the bite fighting a possum, raccoon or another kitty. He wasn't bothered by the bite, and since we noticed this while on our way out the door to take mom to an appointment with her chemo doctor, we decided to take him to the vet the next day.

Unfortunately he decided to go on a walkabout, and didn't come back for five days.

When he did come home he was sickly and his fur had thinned. This was this morning, so we rushed him to the vet. He tested positive for feline HIV and likely the bite was all it took to overload his compromised immune system. He didn't have it last year at his annual checkup, but, well... And I feel it really is my fault because I couldn't afford to get him fixed and if I'd gotten him fixed he wouldn't have been fighting and then wouldn't have caught it, but I just couldn't afford it.

We put him to sleep today.

I've never had to put a pet to sleep. It was the most horrible feeling ever, and I don't think I could ever do it again. I know that he couldn't live outside and thus would be miserable, and that even indoors he would be sick and secluded since we have another cat and we'd have to keep them apart. I know he'd be sad and in pain and miserable. Even so, it makes me feel horrible that he nuzzled me and loved me as I put him in the carrier, trusting me to take care of him, and I killed him. This is the most horrible feeling. I don't know how anyone does it.

RIP Anders. I only knew you for a year and a half but you were the sweetest, most affectionate and loving kitty I've ever owned.

#kitty #RIP #pets