Skills of Deduction @thedeductionmistress - Tumblr Blog

Harris do his best as always

So, I’ve been pulled over a few times in my life. Not many, but a few. And I’ve also been in a couple of cars that got pulled over. And let me tell you, if you were actually doing something wrong, the officer doesn’t make any small talk, just straight into “I clocked you doing 70 in a 55.” The only time I’ve ever gotten the “do you know why I pulled you over?” was the time when I wasn’t doing anything wrong, and I got let go even though he insisted to the end that I was doing 87 in a 70 (white privilege at work).

“Do you know why I pulled you over?” is a trap. It means there’s a good chance the officer doesn’t actually have a good reason to ticket you, and is trying to get you to waive your 5th Amendment rights and incriminate yourself. If you make a guess, that’s a confession of guilt.

But there’s another trap, that I’ve heard of but haven’t yet experienced. It’s “do you know how fast you were going?” With that one, they’re hoping you’ll say no, because then they can name whatever speed they want – you just said you didn’t know how fast you were going, if you deny the speed they name then you’re lying to them.

themightytej

Oh, I’ve had that one. Go with “yes.” Don’t give them a number, just say “Yes.” Then they still have to offer a number and you can deny it without contradicting yourself. They could just ask you, at that point, but that’s suspiciously similar to saying they don’t know, and they tend to avoid doing that.

fattyatomicmutant-deactivated20

Reblog to save a life

suspiciouslysharklike-deactivat

if you scroll past this just because it doesn’t affect you personally, i see you.

dovewithscales

Also, you can always go to court and contest a ticket, and a lot of times you’ll win. Or if the cop thinks you’ll win they won’t even show up and you’ll win by default.

They like to target out of state plates because anyone who would be majorly inconvenienced by a court date two months away is a lot more likely to just pay it.

anarchist-rat-swarm

Also, if you get the court date changed to a different day of the week, the cop is much less likely to show up. A lot of cops, being the sort of people who are too lazy to get a real job, will try to have all their court dates on one day, so not being on that day means they’re probably not going to make an entire trip to court for just one case.

themoonandmyman

baby Ilya’s tiny angry Russian ranting when Irina won’t let him stay on the ice and his cheeks are all bright pink and his little nose is wet and he’s plopping down onto the ice and crossing his arms and yelling NYET NYET NYET.

Across the ocean at the exact same time, the exact same thing is happening to a very exhausted Yuna Hollander.

littleewhitelotus

i just HAD to draw this

ilyashaneconnorhudson

he won 😭

(and he mentions sharing the award with connor)

"... if these gay yearning little bottom eyes didn't have a big sexy russian to feast upon, my performance wouldn't be as good..."

myshangel

how shane and ilya are sitting at their daughter's preschool after she got put in time out for saying "hello gay boy" (ilya has used this greeting to piss shane off for years and did Not know she could repeat it)

dankxsinatra

stormsthatrage

Heated Rivalry AU where Ilya dips out early from a post-game party with Boston, and someone gets the idea to put on a Hollonov compilation as a joke.

The whole team settles in with rapt attention, ready to roast the shit out of Roz over it via group chat, only to see. Well. It's a series of interview clips over the years. It's made up exclusively of three things. One, clips of Hollander "stealing" linguistically challenging questions that the whole team knows Rozanov hates. Two, clips of Rozanov derailing questions that are about Hollander's "representation of his community," which gossip on the street says makes Hollander uncomfortable. Three, Hollander and Rozanov commenting individually on the rivalry, with vicious comments such as. "He's of course a great player, but he'll find us difficult to beat." Such fire in Rozanov's comments are especially damning, given his whole chirp-king-schtick. The video editor, with all the obsession and perception of a true fangirl, makes sure to circle every instance where you can see the shadow of Hollander and Rozanov pressing their feet together - and in one instance holding hands - beneath the interview table. (You wouldn't see it unless you're looking for it - or unless someone circles it in red for you.)

The video finishes, and the team sits in a kind of shocked silence as the next video auto-plays. This one is a compilation of Rozanov chirping Hollander on the ice. Here, the editor has helpfully drawn an arrow to Hollander's face whenever he blushes. The editor has also inserted text overlays with comments like. "Look at how fiercely Rozanov insults his rival." And then puts smaller arrows pointing to Roz's body language, with helpful texts like "excited wiggle indicating absolute fury," and "besotted grin indicating deep hatred." The sarcasm is distressingly accurate in its point.

(Listen, the whole team knows what Roz looks like when he's chirping someone. This - this is not it. This is not it at all. This is him when he's being silly with people he really likes. What is going on.)

The video finishes, and this time someone has the presence of mind to stop the auto-play before another mind-breaking thing comes up.

Someone else, trying to lighten the silence with a joke, and maybe dismiss it all as a fever dream, says, "Montreal Jane? More like Montreal Shane, am I right?"

And. Well.

Once it's out there, there's no coming back from it.

Cliff asks aloud, to no one in particular, "Are we just stupid?"

haedraulics

little comic vignette on lost tongues, half-ness, and the things our immigrant parents wanted for us. i love shane and his weird unspoken alienation from other asian people in pursuit of excellence in a white-dominated field, and i really hope season 2 touches more on that <3

i printed a few copies of this comic for a local zine festival but i really like how they turned out, so let me know if you'd be interested in a copy when i re-open my store! okay thank youuu that's my art for the month of march

sosaneitsinsane

fall in love again and again...

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the-ladyrae

That was delicious. I genuinely don't think I've seen anyone line up those scene parallels so well before. This was a perfect snapshot of every branch, rock, and mattress they hit on their way down

lesbxdyke

Chocolate guy... What the fuck!?

hollanoveau

that russian flamer is living in all their walls and popping out of their garbage disposals going “hey so me and hollander have this camp” and shoving irina foundation tshirts at them whether they like it or not

Tagged by @littleblondesoprano to post 6 non-selfies 🥰 (first 6 in my camera roll 🤷‍♀️)

Tagging: @stormhunt95 and @mrsaquaman187 and anyone else who wants to partake 🥰

blacksheepcolorfulskin

WHY IS THIS SO GOOD?!

the-ladyrae

They put drugs in this show, and this edit is the closest I've come to being able to snort it like cocaine. Excluding binging the entire show in 6 hours after first turning on episode one to see what all the fuss was about.