the eternal optimist

tristan. 29. they/them. banana slug. nerdy as heck. very dumb.

[geneeste]

This is the funniest fucking thing, omg.

THE SAPPHIC MERIDIAN

[dostoyevsky-official]

what made the strongest impression and stuck with me from david graeber's œuvre are the opening lines of possibilities, where he writes, "most of what we assume to be immutable has been, in other times and places, arranged quite differently, and therefore, that human possibilities are in almost every way greater than we ordinarily imagine.” everything i've taken from my studies and my experiences has proven to me his message: we can just as easily arrange everything differently. this applies to the personal as it does political: anything, at any point, is possible, and love opens the door of potentialities. there is nothing final, unchangeable in this life except death—and even that love lifts to make memory eternal

[daenerys-stormborn]

"There are legends of people born with the gift of making music so true, it can pierce the veil between life and death. Conjuring spirits from the past and the future." SINNERS (2025) dir. Ryan Coogler

[communist-hatsunemiku]

I think being autistic has made me realize how extremely hostile the environments we have designed are. And I don't mean "this environment is uniquely hostile to me because I am autistic" I mean that even normies are just existing in brutal, stagnant spaces, they have just internalized them as normal. We could have it all, we could live in such a beautiful and fascinating world, designed by humans and for humans who actually enjoy life and it's complexity and wonder. but even now it's like, seen as kinda hippy-dippy bullshit to have "excessive" indoor plants in a workspace or something

[doctoraxiom]

There's a level of abstraction to "autism exists on a spectrum" that most people don't realize- most "neurotypical" adults will exhibit autistic behaviours when sufficiently overstressed.

Just because their threshold for certain stressors are an order of magnitude higher doesn't mean that the stressors are not there.

We could build a kinder world which minimizes the stressors and maximizes the access to calming environments if we were just more conscious of it.

Disability advocacy builds a better world for everyone, it's important to remember this is the case for neurodivergence as well.

[communist-hatsunemiku]

Irt you tags, you did not miss my point at all! Disability advocacy builds a better world for everyone! Like literally!

[murderballad]

I have been listening to Unmasking Autism by Dr. Devon Price ( @drdemonprince on here btw) and he put words to a concept I've been kind of impotently slapping at for years, which is that there's no such thing as a "neurotypical." A neurotypical isn't a person but a framework, a lens through which we view society, a standard that no actual individual person can ever truly meet.

There's some resistance to the idea because we all hate hearing "everyone's a little autistic." We hate hearing it because we know where it comes from--it's a dismissal, it's not rooted in disability justice. But the phrase itself in the most literal sense? It's kind of true! Autism is not a straight line with a distinct origin and termination point, it's a bell curve.

[nitewrighter]

I actually do feel like the "unemployed friend on a Tuesday" meme actually helps de-stigmatize unemployment because it frequently affirms that when you don't have a job you're more likely to be getting up to some weird shit rather than just lazing around. But I also feel like the unemployed friend is frequently up to some random shit because there's a whole pile of miscellaneous life tasks that full-time employment keeps people from. The unemployed friend is helping their cousin move, or babysitting, or checking in with a neighbor with mobility issues. The unemployed friend is a walking thesis on the inflexibility of our current labor landscape and just how much work exists outside of work.

[shrubsparrow]

It's in the eye of the beholder

[madmwyrd]

this is so sweet

[enki2]

[howtocan]

Baby bird season is incoming and I’d like to remind everyone that birds do not have a significant sense of smell. Bird parents will not reject birdlets because you have handled them.

If you see smol birbs with few or no feathers on the ground, you can safely put them back into their nest, bird parents will still care for them.

If you see smol birbs with some or most feathers on the ground, please leave them there, as bird parents are probably nearby watching and feeding.

[jumpingjacktrash]

nakey bird = accidentally fell out, is cold and scared, put back in nest! if you can’t reach the nest, try to put it on a wide branch or fork so predators can’t get at it as easily.

scruffy feather bird = starting to try the fly thing, not very good at it. only put in nest/branch if predators abound, i.e. you have four outdoor cats and they’re licking their chops.

fluffy feather bird = smol fly guy! do nothing. can probably get away from predators and will flip its shit if you pick it up.

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

Reblogging this because I’d always heard the ‘Don’t touch a distressed bird its mom will reject it’ thing treated as fact before now, I didn’t realise it wasn’t true…

[illogical-bullshit]

Spring is coming, time to reblog this again.

[unidentifiedwhistlingobject]

When You Should—and Should Not—Rescue Baby Birds

It’s not uncommon to find young birds away from their nests during spring and summer. But should you help them? That depends.

[lovertm]

body paintings by anahitacreates

[tinsnip]

When we’re new to adulthood, it doesn’t immediately occur to all of us that you’re almost always allowed to leave a situation, because growing up we’re forced to stay in situations until someone dismisses us and/or takes us home, or if we do leave on our own accord there’s someone waiting at home to say “we don’t quit in this family!” Boring party? You can leave. You don’t like the lecture? You can walk out. New doctor not working out? You can end the appointment, you don’t need to wait for them to dismiss you. Bad date? You can just go home. Leaving a situation prematurely might have consequences, but unless you’re under arrest or serving prison time, it’s pretty much always allowed.

–commenter Allison @ askamanager

[obstinaterixatrix]

[copperbadge]

A while back, I called for a Lyft ride home from the airport. The lyft pulled up, he called my name, and I opened the door and climbed in. While I was climbing in he was getting out, which I didn’t realize until he opened the back door on the other side.

Him: I’ll put your bag in the trunk. Me: Oh, there’s no need.  Him: I’ll just put it back there.  Me: I prefer to keep my bag with me.

I was also still holding onto it so he couldn’t just grab it, and when I said “I prefer to keep it with me” this cloud of rage crossed his face.

Him: Then get out.  Me: Excuse me? Him: Get out, I don’t want your bag fucking up my upholstery.

Now, this was a weekender – essentially an upscale duffle bag. Small, almost brand new, easily fitting on the middle-seat beside me. I don’t know if he was just really intense about his upholstery or if he was running some kind of scam, but either way I now DEFINITELY was not going to let him separate me from my bag.

So I said “Okay,” and I picked up my bag and got out, took out my phone, and cancelled him as my driver.

He looked at me like I’d grown a second head. There was this moment of total disconnect in his face, and then he started ranting about how someone had damaged his upholstery and they needed to put their bags in the back and he wasn’t going to have me getting his upholstery dirty. 

I said, “I’m out of your car. Drive on, I’ll get another,” and held up my phone.

This had clearly never happened before – it looked like plenty of people had thought “This guy is crazy” but went the “so I’d better let him do what he wants” route instead of “so I’m getting out of his car”. Which is totally normal! We’re socialized to prioritize “not making a scene” over personal safety. But when you do call that bluff, when you defy the social convention that the other person is counting on to make you do what they want you to do, they don’t know how to react, which gives you time for a clean getaway. And maybe he thought I was a dickhead but what do I care what an asshole thinks of me? 

Anyway the moral of the story is yes, you should know that you can almost always leave a situation and often it’s in your best interest to do so. 

(Right after I called for another car he picked up a fare using Quick Match or whatever it’s called, peeled out of the Lyft lane, and hit another car well nigh immediately.)

[noping-out-deactivated20241117]

[ID: The Benefits of walking away. (Illustration of the back of a person walking away. ) 1. Makes bad things disappear quickly. 2. Gives everyone optimal view of your back. 3. Answers question, “I wonder what would happen if I just walked away”]

[demonprincex]

pro tip: if somebody at the bus stop or in the bar or at the party is just being weird to you or making you uncomfortable, you can say “I don’t want to have this conversation anymore.” and it often WORKS! I once was interrupted by a leering guy at the bar who couldn’t pick up on the fact I was there with a buddy from out of town whom I hadn’t seen in years and I just straight up told him “Listen, I don’t want to talk to you right now, I want to catch up with my friend.” and he just NODDED and went back to his drink. Combine with walking the fuck away at any time for ultimate power.

[magnetothemagnificent]

The world is so hostile to tweens.....

Like we joke about how our schools growing up would ban the latest toy trends, but that reality genuinely horrific when you think about it. Like maybe 1% of the bans were based on safety, but the rest cited reasoning like

-"kids were bartering for collectibles" (kids learning about economics and product value)

-"kids were wearing them and the colors were too flashy" (kids experimenting with self expression and fashion)

-"kids were playing with them during lunch and recess instead of using our rusted safety hazard playground" (kids utilizing their free time to do what helps *them* unwind).

Play areas specifically geared towards children and especially towards teens are constantly being shut down. "Oh kids today are always on their phones!" Maybe because

-there are barely any arcades left and even less arcades that aren't adult-oriented,

-public pools and gyms are underfunded and shut down,

-"no loitering" laws prevent kids and teens from just hanging out,

-movie theatres only play the latest films and ticket prices are only rising,

-parks and playgrounds are either neglected or replaced with gear only directed at toddlers and unsuitable for anyone older

-genuine children's and young teen media is being phased out in favour of media directed only at very small children or older teens and adults.

-suburbs and even cities are becoming more and more hostile to pedestrians, it's just not safe for kids to walk to or ride their bikes to their friends' houses or other play destinations

Children's agency is hardly ever respected. Kids between the ages of 9-13 are either treated as babies or as full-grown adults, with no in-between. When they ask to be given more independence, they are either scoffed at or given more responsibilities than are reasonable for a child their age.

This is even evident in the fashion scene.

Clothing stores and brands like Justice and Gap are either closing or rebranding to either exclusively adult clothing or young children's clothes, with no middle ground for tweens. Tweens have to choose between clothes designed for adults that are too large and/or too mature for their age and bodies, or more clothes they feel are far too childish. For tween girls especially it's either a frilly pinafore dress with pigtails or a woman's size dress with cleavage. No wonder tween girls these days dress like they're older, it's because their other option is little girl clothes and they don't want to feel childish.

And then when tweens go to school, the books they want to read aren't available because they cover "mature" topics (read: oh no two people kissed and they weren't straight or oh no menstruation was mentioned or oh no a religion other than Christianity is depicted), so kids are left with books for way below their reading level. No wonder kids today are struggling with literacy, it's because they can't exercise and expand their reading skills with age-appropriate books. Readers need to be challenged with new words and concepts in order to grow in their skills, only letting tween read Dr. Seuss and nursery rhymes doesn't let them learn.

Discussions about substance use, reproduction, and sexuality aren't taught at an age-appropriate level in school or even by children's parents, so they either grow up ignorant and more vulnerable to abuse, or they seek out information elsewhere that is delivered in a less-than-age-appropriate manner. It shouldn't be a coin-toss between "I didn't know what sex was until I was 18 and in college" or "my first exposure to sex as a tween was through porn" or "I didn't know what sex was so I didn't know I was being sexually abused as a kid."

Tweenhood is already such a volatile and confusing time for kids, their bodies are changing and they're transitioning from elementary to middle to high school. It's hard enough for them in this stage, but it's made worse by how society devalues and fails them.

We talk about the disappearance of teenagehood, and maybe that's gonna happen in the future, but the erasure of tweenhood is happing in real time, and it's having and going to have major consequences for next generation's adults.

[nicolethered]

Please look at these babies!

[happyheidi]

[chongoblog]

The Steven Universe fandom might be “cringe” and “bad” but imagine a fandom so bad that a bunch of fandom members had ran a scheme to say “if you pay us money, your blorbo will know you’re valid” and the fandom permanently split over a 95 paragraph callout post of these people.

[chongoblog]

I cant do the story justice myself. Google “The Protestant Reformation” for more details, I hear a few people have done deep dives

[pineappleciders]

everyone should watch this video. just learned something new. the usa is still genociding indigenous people and they won't stop.

[steamandcream]

thinking about how when you experience a lot of shame in your formative years (indirectly, directly, as abuse or just as an extant part of your environment) it becomes really difficult to be perceived by other people in general. the mere concept of someone watching me do anything, whether it's a totally normal activity or something unfamiliar of embarrassing, whether I'm working in an excel spreadsheet or being horny on main, it just makes my skin crawl and my brain turn to static because I cannot convince myself that it's okay to be seen and experienced. because to exist is to be ashamed and embarrassed of myself, whether I'm failing at something or not, because my instinctive reaction to anyone commenting on ANYTHING I'm doing is to crawl into a hole and die. it's such a bizarre and dehumanizing feeling to just not be able to exist without constantly thinking about how you are being Perceived. ceaseless watcher give me a god damn break.

[steamandcream]

sorry to put your tags on blast on this insane breach containment post I have since muted, but you're right and you should say it.

It is defeatable. Go for the throat.

[dragon-in-a-fez]

it's fucking insane that we have a whole system of national and international charities and NGOs and government bodies and treaty organisations all devoting themselves to children's rights work while simultaneously being completely unwilling to name the problems they're fighting against.

imagine if every feminist organisation on Earth was unwilling to say the word "misogyny". imagine if the NAACP refused to address racism. that's what it's like.

everyone from the Children's Commissioner for Wales to fucking UNICEF is out here like "we are here to protect children from harm" and won't say the words "adultism" or "ageism".

they run campaigns to get children's rights taught in schools and deliberately never talk about the fact that the reason schools aren't already doing that is because authoritarian institutions have a vested interest in people not knowing their rights.

they petition governments to outlaw beating children and then spend half their public messaging falling over themselves to apologise to parents for implying they might be doing something wrong instead of saying "yeah, actually, we have a problem of systemic parental violence against children and parents who commit and defend that violence are, in fact, the enemy."

it's like they think children's rights and dignity are threatened by some unknowable force of the universe at large instead of by observable systems of power and privilege perpetuated by actual real-life people. and anyone who notices this ends up going crazy feeling like the guy who got out of Plato's cave but couldn't convince anyone else the shadows weren't reality.