Enneagram Stereotypes
1- WHY IN THE WORLD DOES EVERYONE SAY I CRITICIZE AND JUDGE THEM I’M JUST HELPING THEM REACH PERFECTION, AND SHOWING THEM WHAT’S WRONG WITH WHAT THEY ALREADY HAVE AND HOW MY IDEA OF PERFECTION IS SO MUCH BETTER AND THEIRS IS SUBPAR, DUH
2- I FUCKING HELP EVERYONE SO MUCH AND NO ONE BOTHERS TO SAY THANKS EVEN THOUGH THEY DIDN’T ASK FOR HELP IN THE FIRST PLACE -bursts into song- I’M FEELING REALLY UNAPPRECIATED YOU TAKE MY LOVE FOR GRANTED BABE, AND I DON’T KNOW HOW MUCH MORE I CAN TAKE FROM YOUUUUU
3- No, I’m not at the top yet, baby. But does it matter? I will be there soon. -wink and blindingly white smile-
4- -tears- No one understands me. HEY, I SAID NO ONE FUCKING UNDERSTANDS ME STOP TRYING TO UNDERSTAND ME I AM A BLINDING PLETHORA OF PAIN AND DEPTH THAT YOU CAN ONLY COMPREHEND ON THE MOST BASIC LEVEL
5- -leaves room after 500 years and squints- I’VE DONE IT. I’VE GAINED ENOUGH KNOWLEDGE, I AM THE SMARTEST MAN IN THE WORLD. Although I did run away from Nancy when she tried to kiss me and I’m still terrified of human contact. -spoken to their 10 cats-
6- HEY HEY STOP YELLING AT ME OK, I JUST WANTED TO KNOW, FOR SURE, IF YOU’RE REALLY SURE, LIKE, REALLY REALLY ABSOLUTELY SURE- WELL FUCK YOU, OH ‘IT’S COMMON SENSE ANGELA’ ARE YOU IMPLYING I HAVE NO COMMON SENSE? WHATEVER, I KNEW YOU WEREN’T REALLY GOING TO SUPPORT ME
7- HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY LET’S GO SKYDIVING AND SKIING AND GO TO THE MOVIES AND HAVE REALLY KINKY SEX, OH OH OH BETTER IDEA, LET’S DO ALL THOSE THINGS, AT ONCE!!! WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE’LL DIE YOU JOYKILL HAHAHAHAHA I KEEP RUNNING FROM THE THINGS IN MY HEAD HAHAHA HURRY HURRY WE NEED TO GO DO STUFF LOLOLOL OR ELSE I’M GOING TO HAVE A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN
8- YOU’RE ALL MY BITCHES. ALL OF YOU. BITCHES. MINE. MY BITCHES. I’M IN CHARGE. I KNOW BEST. WHAT DO YOU MEAN I INTIMIDATE EVERYONE? WELL SPEAK UP FOR YOURSELVES THEN, GODDAMN WIMPS
9- I mean…like…I just want peace is all. Oh um my opinion on stuff hahaah funny usually no one asks um and I don’t voice it to keep the harmony- Wait, what? N-no, I don’t view myself as a doormat. -nervous laughing- I’m perfectly content the way things are. -strained smile- I’m fine -gnashes teeth- I don’t have any issues with the way things are. -explodes-











