Submissions are now live! This bracket is for celebrating all of the most beloved NPCs of the TTRPG world. Every party has their special NPC(s) - come tell the world about yours!
Here’s where all the active and expired rounds live!
Current: FINALS
Starts: 9/2/23 at 7 PM EST
Polls will appear here when they’re live!
For all results, check here!
(Specific expired rounds under the cut!)
If you’d like to leave a comment or compliment about any of the NPCs in this tournament, feel free to drop them here! This form will be open until the end of the tournament, and comments will be anonymously (unless you specify otherwise) shared once the tournament has reached its conclusion!
For any eliminated NPCs, their celebration post can be found in their name’s tag or through this tag here!
The TTRPG NPC Tournament FINAL MATCHUP: The Shrike vs. Mary Byram & HE
Each character listed is an NPC submitted by a tournament participant. Be sure to read the character descriptions below the cut before voting!
The Shrike
Mary Byram & HE
Voting ended onSep 9, 2023
Images are in the order of the poll! Image ID included, click to see the full image please!
More about each NPC below the cut!
Character 1
Name: The Shrike
Party: The Fosters
Relationship to party: Mom, stepmom, former boss, current leader
What makes them the best NPC:
She's a thousands-of-years-old gnomish planar-physics prodigy from the future. She's divorced. She's engaged. She misses her wife. She's an absentee mom and she's mom of the year. She bakes the best scones in the world. She will shoot you with a harpoon without hesitation. She invented robotics. She loves prime numbers. She built her own legs. She sold her soul to a dubious and unknowable god in order to save her species' future. She's even a lesbian. The Shike. Bwaaaa
Quote:
"YOU DON'T GET TO BEAT ME AT THIS, MOTHERFUCKER. WILL YOU MARRY ME?"
To learn more about The Shrike, check out the extra propaganda in her tag here!
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Character(s) 2*
*Due to an agreement between the parties during a tie very shortly before the polls closed (and due to it being the semifinal round of the tournament), Mary Byram and HE, though not from the same campaign, move forward as a team. Both descriptions are listed below in the order of their images above.
Name: Mary Byram
Party: Ambiscade Gang
Relationship to party: Coworker, divorcee
What makes them the best NPC:
Mary Byram is living proof that the song “No Children” by The Mountain Goats doesn’t just have to be about romantic relationships gone wrong. She’s a bright red tiefling rogue with a storied past, currently working for a guild called the Thinfingers alongside one of the party members. Previously, she worked with a tiefling rights movement called Hellflame, but something happened there that she doesn’t really talk about. She’s still passionate about both the movement and the group, though.
Our bard lovingly calls her “Mare-Bear.” She hates this. She’s a day drinker. She’s exhausted always. She cares so much but will never admit it unless under duress. I think she genuinely thinks that god cursed her by metaphorically putting her in a get-along shirt with our rogue PC. Their dynamic allowed our party to coin the term “Coworker Divorce” except they’re literally not allowed to actually get rid of each other. She is also constantly saddled with the skater-pilled rogue who was also submitted to the bracket, so she’s usually outnumbered when it comes to harebrained schemes. She’s largely anti-antics, but is down for some antics if she's in control of them. She’s a mastermind and usually gives the help bonus action either by telling people what they fucked up or by telling them NOT to fuck something up. She deserves a break she’ll simply never get.
Quote:
"Thoughts?" -the warlock, asking Mary about a proposed plan. "...More than you. Apparently." -Mary
To learn more about Mary, check out the extra propaganda in her tag here!
****
Name: HE
Party: The Misdemeanor Mateys
Relationship to party: Businessman, aggravating party stalker, final boss
What makes them the best NPC:
Mysterious tiny man with static for a head, and the loudest screechiest voice you can imagine (DM once blew out their vocal chords because of him). Levitates and teleports at will, and can pop objects in and out of existence. Runs a business granting magical favors. Originally tried to hire the party to help his business but the group said "fuck no". Now regularly pops in to nag, cause trouble, or play meme songs on a calliope, and occasionally provides useful information. HE controls an alternate dimension called the Mercantile Pile full of items from different times and places, including lots of modern-day technology (unlike the D&D campaign setting). He can be summoned by writing out his name. His calling card is a 7 of Spades, which he can also use to influence the world & cast spells remotely. HE mainly wears business suits & suspenders, but has also appeared in a hazmat suit (riding a tricycle), turtleneck sweater and thigh holster, wetsuit with suspenders painted on, sequin jacket with '69' on the back, peacock burlesque, and nurse drag outfit. He once killed 20 guards with a snap of his fingers. He also destroyed a walkman with a flamethrower. Implied to be the father of the ultra-powerful kid whose primary pastime is handing out enchanted "friendship nuggets" [chicken]. His #1 business competitor is Michael's Wonder Emporium. Eventually turns out to be one of the most central characters to the story.
Quote:
"STAY OFF MY THRONE!"
"You're going to call me when you need me!"
To learn more about HE, check out the extra propaganda in his tag here!
VOTE THE SHRIKE SHES LITERALLY AMELIA'S MOM she didnt even KNOW SHE HAD A DAUGHTER!!!! long story short this was a crack theory of mine that i joked about for a good while with the group and eventually by our powers combined we manifested it into canon. Believe in yourself and in the power of friendship
Amelia is the rogue/witch PC played by @starshipsandsuperheroes btw
^^ family resemblance <3
both images above by @wizardsoup !
Anyways The Shrike is the world's best deadbeat mom I love her so much
The TTRPG NPC Tournament FINAL MATCHUP: The Shrike vs. Mary Byram & HE
Each character listed is an NPC submitted by a tournament participant. Be sure to read the character descriptions below the cut before voting!
The Shrike
Mary Byram & HE
Voting ended onSep 9, 2023
Images are in the order of the poll! Image ID included, click to see the full image please!
More about each NPC below the cut!
Character 1
Name: The Shrike
Party: The Fosters
Relationship to party: Mom, stepmom, former boss, current leader
What makes them the best NPC:
She's a thousands-of-years-old gnomish planar-physics prodigy from the future. She's divorced. She's engaged. She misses her wife. She's an absentee mom and she's mom of the year. She bakes the best scones in the world. She will shoot you with a harpoon without hesitation. She invented robotics. She loves prime numbers. She built her own legs. She sold her soul to a dubious and unknowable god in order to save her species' future. She's even a lesbian. The Shike. Bwaaaa
Quote:
"YOU DON'T GET TO BEAT ME AT THIS, MOTHERFUCKER. WILL YOU MARRY ME?"
To learn more about The Shrike, check out the extra propaganda in her tag here!
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Character(s) 2*
*Due to an agreement between the parties during a tie very shortly before the polls closed (and due to it being the semifinal round of the tournament), Mary Byram and HE, though not from the same campaign, move forward as a team. Both descriptions are listed below in the order of their images above.
Name: Mary Byram
Party: Ambiscade Gang
Relationship to party: Coworker, divorcee
What makes them the best NPC:
Mary Byram is living proof that the song “No Children” by The Mountain Goats doesn’t just have to be about romantic relationships gone wrong. She’s a bright red tiefling rogue with a storied past, currently working for a guild called the Thinfingers alongside one of the party members. Previously, she worked with a tiefling rights movement called Hellflame, but something happened there that she doesn’t really talk about. She’s still passionate about both the movement and the group, though.
Our bard lovingly calls her “Mare-Bear.” She hates this. She’s a day drinker. She’s exhausted always. She cares so much but will never admit it unless under duress. I think she genuinely thinks that god cursed her by metaphorically putting her in a get-along shirt with our rogue PC. Their dynamic allowed our party to coin the term “Coworker Divorce” except they’re literally not allowed to actually get rid of each other. She is also constantly saddled with the skater-pilled rogue who was also submitted to the bracket, so she’s usually outnumbered when it comes to harebrained schemes. She’s largely anti-antics, but is down for some antics if she's in control of them. She’s a mastermind and usually gives the help bonus action either by telling people what they fucked up or by telling them NOT to fuck something up. She deserves a break she’ll simply never get.
Quote:
"Thoughts?" -the warlock, asking Mary about a proposed plan. "...More than you. Apparently." -Mary
To learn more about Mary, check out the extra propaganda in her tag here!
****
Name: HE
Party: The Misdemeanor Mateys
Relationship to party: Businessman, aggravating party stalker, final boss
What makes them the best NPC:
Mysterious tiny man with static for a head, and the loudest screechiest voice you can imagine (DM once blew out their vocal chords because of him). Levitates and teleports at will, and can pop objects in and out of existence. Runs a business granting magical favors. Originally tried to hire the party to help his business but the group said "fuck no". Now regularly pops in to nag, cause trouble, or play meme songs on a calliope, and occasionally provides useful information. HE controls an alternate dimension called the Mercantile Pile full of items from different times and places, including lots of modern-day technology (unlike the D&D campaign setting). He can be summoned by writing out his name. His calling card is a 7 of Spades, which he can also use to influence the world & cast spells remotely. HE mainly wears business suits & suspenders, but has also appeared in a hazmat suit (riding a tricycle), turtleneck sweater and thigh holster, wetsuit with suspenders painted on, sequin jacket with '69' on the back, peacock burlesque, and nurse drag outfit. He once killed 20 guards with a snap of his fingers. He also destroyed a walkman with a flamethrower. Implied to be the father of the ultra-powerful kid whose primary pastime is handing out enchanted "friendship nuggets" [chicken]. His #1 business competitor is Michael's Wonder Emporium. Eventually turns out to be one of the most central characters to the story.
Quote:
"STAY OFF MY THRONE!"
"You're going to call me when you need me!"
To learn more about HE, check out the extra propaganda in his tag here!
The TTRPG NPC Tournament FINAL MATCHUP: The Shrike vs. Mary Byram & HE
Each character listed is an NPC submitted by a tournament participant. Be sure to read the character descriptions below the cut before voting!
The Shrike
Mary Byram & HE
Voting ended onSep 9, 2023
Images are in the order of the poll! Image ID included, click to see the full image please!
More about each NPC below the cut!
Character 1
Name: The Shrike
Party: The Fosters
Relationship to party: Mom, stepmom, former boss, current leader
What makes them the best NPC:
She's a thousands-of-years-old gnomish planar-physics prodigy from the future. She's divorced. She's engaged. She misses her wife. She's an absentee mom and she's mom of the year. She bakes the best scones in the world. She will shoot you with a harpoon without hesitation. She invented robotics. She loves prime numbers. She built her own legs. She sold her soul to a dubious and unknowable god in order to save her species' future. She's even a lesbian. The Shike. Bwaaaa
Quote:
"YOU DON'T GET TO BEAT ME AT THIS, MOTHERFUCKER. WILL YOU MARRY ME?"
To learn more about The Shrike, check out the extra propaganda in her tag here!
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Character(s) 2*
*Due to an agreement between the parties during a tie very shortly before the polls closed (and due to it being the semifinal round of the tournament), Mary Byram and HE, though not from the same campaign, move forward as a team. Both descriptions are listed below in the order of their images above.
Name: Mary Byram
Party: Ambiscade Gang
Relationship to party: Coworker, divorcee
What makes them the best NPC:
Mary Byram is living proof that the song “No Children” by The Mountain Goats doesn’t just have to be about romantic relationships gone wrong. She’s a bright red tiefling rogue with a storied past, currently working for a guild called the Thinfingers alongside one of the party members. Previously, she worked with a tiefling rights movement called Hellflame, but something happened there that she doesn’t really talk about. She’s still passionate about both the movement and the group, though.
Our bard lovingly calls her “Mare-Bear.” She hates this. She’s a day drinker. She’s exhausted always. She cares so much but will never admit it unless under duress. I think she genuinely thinks that god cursed her by metaphorically putting her in a get-along shirt with our rogue PC. Their dynamic allowed our party to coin the term “Coworker Divorce” except they’re literally not allowed to actually get rid of each other. She is also constantly saddled with the skater-pilled rogue who was also submitted to the bracket, so she’s usually outnumbered when it comes to harebrained schemes. She’s largely anti-antics, but is down for some antics if she's in control of them. She’s a mastermind and usually gives the help bonus action either by telling people what they fucked up or by telling them NOT to fuck something up. She deserves a break she’ll simply never get.
Quote:
"Thoughts?" -the warlock, asking Mary about a proposed plan. "...More than you. Apparently." -Mary
To learn more about Mary, check out the extra propaganda in her tag here!
****
Name: HE
Party: The Misdemeanor Mateys
Relationship to party: Businessman, aggravating party stalker, final boss
What makes them the best NPC:
Mysterious tiny man with static for a head, and the loudest screechiest voice you can imagine (DM once blew out their vocal chords because of him). Levitates and teleports at will, and can pop objects in and out of existence. Runs a business granting magical favors. Originally tried to hire the party to help his business but the group said "fuck no". Now regularly pops in to nag, cause trouble, or play meme songs on a calliope, and occasionally provides useful information. HE controls an alternate dimension called the Mercantile Pile full of items from different times and places, including lots of modern-day technology (unlike the D&D campaign setting). He can be summoned by writing out his name. His calling card is a 7 of Spades, which he can also use to influence the world & cast spells remotely. HE mainly wears business suits & suspenders, but has also appeared in a hazmat suit (riding a tricycle), turtleneck sweater and thigh holster, wetsuit with suspenders painted on, sequin jacket with '69' on the back, peacock burlesque, and nurse drag outfit. He once killed 20 guards with a snap of his fingers. He also destroyed a walkman with a flamethrower. Implied to be the father of the ultra-powerful kid whose primary pastime is handing out enchanted "friendship nuggets" [chicken]. His #1 business competitor is Michael's Wonder Emporium. Eventually turns out to be one of the most central characters to the story.
Quote:
"STAY OFF MY THRONE!"
"You're going to call me when you need me!"
To learn more about HE, check out the extra propaganda in his tag here!
The TTRPG NPC Tournament FINAL MATCHUP: The Shrike vs. Mary Byram & HE
Each character listed is an NPC submitted by a tournament participant. Be sure to read the character descriptions below the cut before voting!
The Shrike
Mary Byram & HE
Voting ended onSep 9, 2023
Images are in the order of the poll! Image ID included, click to see the full image please!
More about each NPC below the cut!
Character 1
Name: The Shrike
Party: The Fosters
Relationship to party: Mom, stepmom, former boss, current leader
What makes them the best NPC:
She's a thousands-of-years-old gnomish planar-physics prodigy from the future. She's divorced. She's engaged. She misses her wife. She's an absentee mom and she's mom of the year. She bakes the best scones in the world. She will shoot you with a harpoon without hesitation. She invented robotics. She loves prime numbers. She built her own legs. She sold her soul to a dubious and unknowable god in order to save her species' future. She's even a lesbian. The Shike. Bwaaaa
Quote:
"YOU DON'T GET TO BEAT ME AT THIS, MOTHERFUCKER. WILL YOU MARRY ME?"
To learn more about The Shrike, check out the extra propaganda in her tag here!
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Character(s) 2*
*Due to an agreement between the parties during a tie very shortly before the polls closed (and due to it being the semifinal round of the tournament), Mary Byram and HE, though not from the same campaign, move forward as a team. Both descriptions are listed below in the order of their images above.
Name: Mary Byram
Party: Ambiscade Gang
Relationship to party: Coworker, divorcee
What makes them the best NPC:
Mary Byram is living proof that the song “No Children” by The Mountain Goats doesn’t just have to be about romantic relationships gone wrong. She’s a bright red tiefling rogue with a storied past, currently working for a guild called the Thinfingers alongside one of the party members. Previously, she worked with a tiefling rights movement called Hellflame, but something happened there that she doesn’t really talk about. She’s still passionate about both the movement and the group, though.
Our bard lovingly calls her “Mare-Bear.” She hates this. She’s a day drinker. She’s exhausted always. She cares so much but will never admit it unless under duress. I think she genuinely thinks that god cursed her by metaphorically putting her in a get-along shirt with our rogue PC. Their dynamic allowed our party to coin the term “Coworker Divorce” except they’re literally not allowed to actually get rid of each other. She is also constantly saddled with the skater-pilled rogue who was also submitted to the bracket, so she’s usually outnumbered when it comes to harebrained schemes. She’s largely anti-antics, but is down for some antics if she's in control of them. She’s a mastermind and usually gives the help bonus action either by telling people what they fucked up or by telling them NOT to fuck something up. She deserves a break she’ll simply never get.
Quote:
"Thoughts?" -the warlock, asking Mary about a proposed plan. "...More than you. Apparently." -Mary
To learn more about Mary, check out the extra propaganda in her tag here!
****
Name: HE
Party: The Misdemeanor Mateys
Relationship to party: Businessman, aggravating party stalker, final boss
What makes them the best NPC:
Mysterious tiny man with static for a head, and the loudest screechiest voice you can imagine (DM once blew out their vocal chords because of him). Levitates and teleports at will, and can pop objects in and out of existence. Runs a business granting magical favors. Originally tried to hire the party to help his business but the group said "fuck no". Now regularly pops in to nag, cause trouble, or play meme songs on a calliope, and occasionally provides useful information. HE controls an alternate dimension called the Mercantile Pile full of items from different times and places, including lots of modern-day technology (unlike the D&D campaign setting). He can be summoned by writing out his name. His calling card is a 7 of Spades, which he can also use to influence the world & cast spells remotely. HE mainly wears business suits & suspenders, but has also appeared in a hazmat suit (riding a tricycle), turtleneck sweater and thigh holster, wetsuit with suspenders painted on, sequin jacket with '69' on the back, peacock burlesque, and nurse drag outfit. He once killed 20 guards with a snap of his fingers. He also destroyed a walkman with a flamethrower. Implied to be the father of the ultra-powerful kid whose primary pastime is handing out enchanted "friendship nuggets" [chicken]. His #1 business competitor is Michael's Wonder Emporium. Eventually turns out to be one of the most central characters to the story.
Quote:
"STAY OFF MY THRONE!"
"You're going to call me when you need me!"
To learn more about HE, check out the extra propaganda in his tag here!
HE and Mary are both FANTASTIC and I genuinely love them so much, so I would not be sad to see them win! But! Because they 1.) are winning and 2.) have twice as many people to cheer for them, I can't leave The Shrike in the lurch because she means So So Much to me so while I love them.
Vote The Shrike!!
Once again. Expert in a Dying Field by The Beths is a thesis statement so start there to understand her. There is a comic of her baking with this song over it that literally lives on the fridge in my apartment it's so good.* Check out her tag on the bracket's blog for some other info about her (this post and this post are good), but I'm gonna leave some Extra Shrike Content down below for everyone to know why else you should vote for such an amazing NPC!
1.) I have a note from a few years back that just reads "Shrike has French Onion Soup baggage." None of us have been able to remember or discern what that could possibly mean. But she has it.
2.) When we first met her, we had to give a unique iambic septameter call-and-response code to let her know we were allies. This meant we had to frantically yell "Don't ever hug a lobster if you see one on the street!" and hope that was enough to not get Shot By The Very Visible Harpoons. (Her response? "but if you do, a lobster is a lovely friend to meet.")
3.) She has a huge robot named Emily she built herself and loves very much. One time we had to go overseas and Emily walked across the ocean floor to meet us there a few weeks later. When she finally showed up, The Shrike made the most incredible high pitched noise that one of our party members compared to the Gene Parmesan bit from Arrested Development (I linked to the one most reminiscent of her reaction). It's the most excited I've ever seen her.
4.) The instructions we currently have for procuring her wedding presents are that they must be weird, magical, and seem useful but are actually useless. If you have any ideas for that feel free to bring them to the wedding.
5.) One time as a distraction, she set up a robot Situation which was a lot of explosions and the 1812 overture (complete with canons) in her workshop.
ANYWAYS I love Mary and HE so much and they are SO worth voting for but please show The Shrike some love too because she's genuinely one of my favorite NPCs I've ever encountered and deserves some support! P.S. Shrike if you're seeing this I made sure to give a prime number of reasons why people should vote for you.
*I'm not posting a picture out of respect for the fact that it's the person who created Mary's art and as a rule I don't post anything without genuine and full permission so thank you for your understanding. But you have to believe me it's real and it is held onto the fridge via a state park magnet.
The TTRPG NPC Tournament FINAL MATCHUP: The Shrike vs. Mary Byram & HE
Each character listed is an NPC submitted by a tournament participant. Be sure to read the character descriptions below the cut before voting!
The Shrike
Mary Byram & HE
Voting ended onSep 9, 2023
Images are in the order of the poll! Image ID included, click to see the full image please!
More about each NPC below the cut!
Character 1
Name: The Shrike
Party: The Fosters
Relationship to party: Mom, stepmom, former boss, current leader
What makes them the best NPC:
She's a thousands-of-years-old gnomish planar-physics prodigy from the future. She's divorced. She's engaged. She misses her wife. She's an absentee mom and she's mom of the year. She bakes the best scones in the world. She will shoot you with a harpoon without hesitation. She invented robotics. She loves prime numbers. She built her own legs. She sold her soul to a dubious and unknowable god in order to save her species' future. She's even a lesbian. The Shike. Bwaaaa
Quote:
"YOU DON'T GET TO BEAT ME AT THIS, MOTHERFUCKER. WILL YOU MARRY ME?"
To learn more about The Shrike, check out the extra propaganda in her tag here!
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Character(s) 2*
*Due to an agreement between the parties during a tie very shortly before the polls closed (and due to it being the semifinal round of the tournament), Mary Byram and HE, though not from the same campaign, move forward as a team. Both descriptions are listed below in the order of their images above.
Name: Mary Byram
Party: Ambiscade Gang
Relationship to party: Coworker, divorcee
What makes them the best NPC:
Mary Byram is living proof that the song “No Children” by The Mountain Goats doesn’t just have to be about romantic relationships gone wrong. She’s a bright red tiefling rogue with a storied past, currently working for a guild called the Thinfingers alongside one of the party members. Previously, she worked with a tiefling rights movement called Hellflame, but something happened there that she doesn’t really talk about. She’s still passionate about both the movement and the group, though.
Our bard lovingly calls her “Mare-Bear.” She hates this. She’s a day drinker. She’s exhausted always. She cares so much but will never admit it unless under duress. I think she genuinely thinks that god cursed her by metaphorically putting her in a get-along shirt with our rogue PC. Their dynamic allowed our party to coin the term “Coworker Divorce” except they’re literally not allowed to actually get rid of each other. She is also constantly saddled with the skater-pilled rogue who was also submitted to the bracket, so she’s usually outnumbered when it comes to harebrained schemes. She’s largely anti-antics, but is down for some antics if she's in control of them. She’s a mastermind and usually gives the help bonus action either by telling people what they fucked up or by telling them NOT to fuck something up. She deserves a break she’ll simply never get.
Quote:
"Thoughts?" -the warlock, asking Mary about a proposed plan. "...More than you. Apparently." -Mary
To learn more about Mary, check out the extra propaganda in her tag here!
****
Name: HE
Party: The Misdemeanor Mateys
Relationship to party: Businessman, aggravating party stalker, final boss
What makes them the best NPC:
Mysterious tiny man with static for a head, and the loudest screechiest voice you can imagine (DM once blew out their vocal chords because of him). Levitates and teleports at will, and can pop objects in and out of existence. Runs a business granting magical favors. Originally tried to hire the party to help his business but the group said "fuck no". Now regularly pops in to nag, cause trouble, or play meme songs on a calliope, and occasionally provides useful information. HE controls an alternate dimension called the Mercantile Pile full of items from different times and places, including lots of modern-day technology (unlike the D&D campaign setting). He can be summoned by writing out his name. His calling card is a 7 of Spades, which he can also use to influence the world & cast spells remotely. HE mainly wears business suits & suspenders, but has also appeared in a hazmat suit (riding a tricycle), turtleneck sweater and thigh holster, wetsuit with suspenders painted on, sequin jacket with '69' on the back, peacock burlesque, and nurse drag outfit. He once killed 20 guards with a snap of his fingers. He also destroyed a walkman with a flamethrower. Implied to be the father of the ultra-powerful kid whose primary pastime is handing out enchanted "friendship nuggets" [chicken]. His #1 business competitor is Michael's Wonder Emporium. Eventually turns out to be one of the most central characters to the story.
Quote:
"STAY OFF MY THRONE!"
"You're going to call me when you need me!"
To learn more about HE, check out the extra propaganda in his tag here!
the unlikely duo, the tag team terror! if mary byram is one thing, it’s professional - so who is she to turn down an advantageous partnership? the shrike is a worthy adversary but these two petty queens deserve a dub for all the shit they go through on the daily. a vote for mary and HE is a vote for exhausted gay people!
The TTRPG NPC Tournament FINAL MATCHUP: The Shrike vs. Mary Byram & HE
Each character listed is an NPC submitted by a tournament participant. Be sure to read the character descriptions below the cut before voting!
The Shrike
Mary Byram & HE
Voting ended onSep 9, 2023
Images are in the order of the poll! Image ID included, click to see the full image please!
More about each NPC below the cut!
Character 1
Name: The Shrike
Party: The Fosters
Relationship to party: Mom, stepmom, former boss, current leader
What makes them the best NPC:
She's a thousands-of-years-old gnomish planar-physics prodigy from the future. She's divorced. She's engaged. She misses her wife. She's an absentee mom and she's mom of the year. She bakes the best scones in the world. She will shoot you with a harpoon without hesitation. She invented robotics. She loves prime numbers. She built her own legs. She sold her soul to a dubious and unknowable god in order to save her species' future. She's even a lesbian. The Shike. Bwaaaa
Quote:
"YOU DON'T GET TO BEAT ME AT THIS, MOTHERFUCKER. WILL YOU MARRY ME?"
To learn more about The Shrike, check out the extra propaganda in her tag here!
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Character(s) 2*
*Due to an agreement between the parties during a tie very shortly before the polls closed (and due to it being the semifinal round of the tournament), Mary Byram and HE, though not from the same campaign, move forward as a team. Both descriptions are listed below in the order of their images above.
Name: Mary Byram
Party: Ambiscade Gang
Relationship to party: Coworker, divorcee
What makes them the best NPC:
Mary Byram is living proof that the song “No Children” by The Mountain Goats doesn’t just have to be about romantic relationships gone wrong. She’s a bright red tiefling rogue with a storied past, currently working for a guild called the Thinfingers alongside one of the party members. Previously, she worked with a tiefling rights movement called Hellflame, but something happened there that she doesn’t really talk about. She’s still passionate about both the movement and the group, though.
Our bard lovingly calls her “Mare-Bear.” She hates this. She’s a day drinker. She’s exhausted always. She cares so much but will never admit it unless under duress. I think she genuinely thinks that god cursed her by metaphorically putting her in a get-along shirt with our rogue PC. Their dynamic allowed our party to coin the term “Coworker Divorce” except they’re literally not allowed to actually get rid of each other. She is also constantly saddled with the skater-pilled rogue who was also submitted to the bracket, so she’s usually outnumbered when it comes to harebrained schemes. She’s largely anti-antics, but is down for some antics if she's in control of them. She’s a mastermind and usually gives the help bonus action either by telling people what they fucked up or by telling them NOT to fuck something up. She deserves a break she’ll simply never get.
Quote:
"Thoughts?" -the warlock, asking Mary about a proposed plan. "...More than you. Apparently." -Mary
To learn more about Mary, check out the extra propaganda in her tag here!
****
Name: HE
Party: The Misdemeanor Mateys
Relationship to party: Businessman, aggravating party stalker, final boss
What makes them the best NPC:
Mysterious tiny man with static for a head, and the loudest screechiest voice you can imagine (DM once blew out their vocal chords because of him). Levitates and teleports at will, and can pop objects in and out of existence. Runs a business granting magical favors. Originally tried to hire the party to help his business but the group said "fuck no". Now regularly pops in to nag, cause trouble, or play meme songs on a calliope, and occasionally provides useful information. HE controls an alternate dimension called the Mercantile Pile full of items from different times and places, including lots of modern-day technology (unlike the D&D campaign setting). He can be summoned by writing out his name. His calling card is a 7 of Spades, which he can also use to influence the world & cast spells remotely. HE mainly wears business suits & suspenders, but has also appeared in a hazmat suit (riding a tricycle), turtleneck sweater and thigh holster, wetsuit with suspenders painted on, sequin jacket with '69' on the back, peacock burlesque, and nurse drag outfit. He once killed 20 guards with a snap of his fingers. He also destroyed a walkman with a flamethrower. Implied to be the father of the ultra-powerful kid whose primary pastime is handing out enchanted "friendship nuggets" [chicken]. His #1 business competitor is Michael's Wonder Emporium. Eventually turns out to be one of the most central characters to the story.
Quote:
"STAY OFF MY THRONE!"
"You're going to call me when you need me!"
To learn more about HE, check out the extra propaganda in his tag here!
The TTRPG NPC Tournament FINAL MATCHUP: The Shrike vs. Mary Byram & HE
Each character listed is an NPC submitted by a tournament participant. Be sure to read the character descriptions below the cut before voting!
The Shrike
Mary Byram & HE
Voting ended onSep 9, 2023
Images are in the order of the poll! Image ID included, click to see the full image please!
More about each NPC below the cut!
Character 1
Name: The Shrike
Party: The Fosters
Relationship to party: Mom, stepmom, former boss, current leader
What makes them the best NPC:
She's a thousands-of-years-old gnomish planar-physics prodigy from the future. She's divorced. She's engaged. She misses her wife. She's an absentee mom and she's mom of the year. She bakes the best scones in the world. She will shoot you with a harpoon without hesitation. She invented robotics. She loves prime numbers. She built her own legs. She sold her soul to a dubious and unknowable god in order to save her species' future. She's even a lesbian. The Shike. Bwaaaa
Quote:
"YOU DON'T GET TO BEAT ME AT THIS, MOTHERFUCKER. WILL YOU MARRY ME?"
To learn more about The Shrike, check out the extra propaganda in her tag here!
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Character(s) 2*
*Due to an agreement between the parties during a tie very shortly before the polls closed (and due to it being the semifinal round of the tournament), Mary Byram and HE, though not from the same campaign, move forward as a team. Both descriptions are listed below in the order of their images above.
Name: Mary Byram
Party: Ambiscade Gang
Relationship to party: Coworker, divorcee
What makes them the best NPC:
Mary Byram is living proof that the song “No Children” by The Mountain Goats doesn’t just have to be about romantic relationships gone wrong. She’s a bright red tiefling rogue with a storied past, currently working for a guild called the Thinfingers alongside one of the party members. Previously, she worked with a tiefling rights movement called Hellflame, but something happened there that she doesn’t really talk about. She’s still passionate about both the movement and the group, though.
Our bard lovingly calls her “Mare-Bear.” She hates this. She’s a day drinker. She’s exhausted always. She cares so much but will never admit it unless under duress. I think she genuinely thinks that god cursed her by metaphorically putting her in a get-along shirt with our rogue PC. Their dynamic allowed our party to coin the term “Coworker Divorce” except they’re literally not allowed to actually get rid of each other. She is also constantly saddled with the skater-pilled rogue who was also submitted to the bracket, so she’s usually outnumbered when it comes to harebrained schemes. She’s largely anti-antics, but is down for some antics if she's in control of them. She’s a mastermind and usually gives the help bonus action either by telling people what they fucked up or by telling them NOT to fuck something up. She deserves a break she’ll simply never get.
Quote:
"Thoughts?" -the warlock, asking Mary about a proposed plan. "...More than you. Apparently." -Mary
To learn more about Mary, check out the extra propaganda in her tag here!
****
Name: HE
Party: The Misdemeanor Mateys
Relationship to party: Businessman, aggravating party stalker, final boss
What makes them the best NPC:
Mysterious tiny man with static for a head, and the loudest screechiest voice you can imagine (DM once blew out their vocal chords because of him). Levitates and teleports at will, and can pop objects in and out of existence. Runs a business granting magical favors. Originally tried to hire the party to help his business but the group said "fuck no". Now regularly pops in to nag, cause trouble, or play meme songs on a calliope, and occasionally provides useful information. HE controls an alternate dimension called the Mercantile Pile full of items from different times and places, including lots of modern-day technology (unlike the D&D campaign setting). He can be summoned by writing out his name. His calling card is a 7 of Spades, which he can also use to influence the world & cast spells remotely. HE mainly wears business suits & suspenders, but has also appeared in a hazmat suit (riding a tricycle), turtleneck sweater and thigh holster, wetsuit with suspenders painted on, sequin jacket with '69' on the back, peacock burlesque, and nurse drag outfit. He once killed 20 guards with a snap of his fingers. He also destroyed a walkman with a flamethrower. Implied to be the father of the ultra-powerful kid whose primary pastime is handing out enchanted "friendship nuggets" [chicken]. His #1 business competitor is Michael's Wonder Emporium. Eventually turns out to be one of the most central characters to the story.
Quote:
"STAY OFF MY THRONE!"
"You're going to call me when you need me!"
To learn more about HE, check out the extra propaganda in his tag here!
The TTRPG NPC Tournament FINAL MATCHUP: The Shrike vs. Mary Byram & HE
Each character listed is an NPC submitted by a tournament participant. Be sure to read the character descriptions below the cut before voting!
The Shrike
Mary Byram & HE
Voting ended onSep 9, 2023
Images are in the order of the poll! Image ID included, click to see the full image please!
More about each NPC below the cut!
Character 1
Name: The Shrike
Party: The Fosters
Relationship to party: Mom, stepmom, former boss, current leader
What makes them the best NPC:
She's a thousands-of-years-old gnomish planar-physics prodigy from the future. She's divorced. She's engaged. She misses her wife. She's an absentee mom and she's mom of the year. She bakes the best scones in the world. She will shoot you with a harpoon without hesitation. She invented robotics. She loves prime numbers. She built her own legs. She sold her soul to a dubious and unknowable god in order to save her species' future. She's even a lesbian. The Shike. Bwaaaa
Quote:
"YOU DON'T GET TO BEAT ME AT THIS, MOTHERFUCKER. WILL YOU MARRY ME?"
To learn more about The Shrike, check out the extra propaganda in her tag here!
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Character(s) 2*
*Due to an agreement between the parties during a tie very shortly before the polls closed (and due to it being the semifinal round of the tournament), Mary Byram and HE, though not from the same campaign, move forward as a team. Both descriptions are listed below in the order of their images above.
Name: Mary Byram
Party: Ambiscade Gang
Relationship to party: Coworker, divorcee
What makes them the best NPC:
Mary Byram is living proof that the song “No Children” by The Mountain Goats doesn’t just have to be about romantic relationships gone wrong. She’s a bright red tiefling rogue with a storied past, currently working for a guild called the Thinfingers alongside one of the party members. Previously, she worked with a tiefling rights movement called Hellflame, but something happened there that she doesn’t really talk about. She’s still passionate about both the movement and the group, though.
Our bard lovingly calls her “Mare-Bear.” She hates this. She’s a day drinker. She’s exhausted always. She cares so much but will never admit it unless under duress. I think she genuinely thinks that god cursed her by metaphorically putting her in a get-along shirt with our rogue PC. Their dynamic allowed our party to coin the term “Coworker Divorce” except they’re literally not allowed to actually get rid of each other. She is also constantly saddled with the skater-pilled rogue who was also submitted to the bracket, so she’s usually outnumbered when it comes to harebrained schemes. She’s largely anti-antics, but is down for some antics if she's in control of them. She’s a mastermind and usually gives the help bonus action either by telling people what they fucked up or by telling them NOT to fuck something up. She deserves a break she’ll simply never get.
Quote:
"Thoughts?" -the warlock, asking Mary about a proposed plan. "...More than you. Apparently." -Mary
To learn more about Mary, check out the extra propaganda in her tag here!
****
Name: HE
Party: The Misdemeanor Mateys
Relationship to party: Businessman, aggravating party stalker, final boss
What makes them the best NPC:
Mysterious tiny man with static for a head, and the loudest screechiest voice you can imagine (DM once blew out their vocal chords because of him). Levitates and teleports at will, and can pop objects in and out of existence. Runs a business granting magical favors. Originally tried to hire the party to help his business but the group said "fuck no". Now regularly pops in to nag, cause trouble, or play meme songs on a calliope, and occasionally provides useful information. HE controls an alternate dimension called the Mercantile Pile full of items from different times and places, including lots of modern-day technology (unlike the D&D campaign setting). He can be summoned by writing out his name. His calling card is a 7 of Spades, which he can also use to influence the world & cast spells remotely. HE mainly wears business suits & suspenders, but has also appeared in a hazmat suit (riding a tricycle), turtleneck sweater and thigh holster, wetsuit with suspenders painted on, sequin jacket with '69' on the back, peacock burlesque, and nurse drag outfit. He once killed 20 guards with a snap of his fingers. He also destroyed a walkman with a flamethrower. Implied to be the father of the ultra-powerful kid whose primary pastime is handing out enchanted "friendship nuggets" [chicken]. His #1 business competitor is Michael's Wonder Emporium. Eventually turns out to be one of the most central characters to the story.
Quote:
"STAY OFF MY THRONE!"
"You're going to call me when you need me!"
To learn more about HE, check out the extra propaganda in his tag here!
The final poll is queued and ready to roll out at 7 PM EST! I will update the bracket image ASAP, but it takes me a long time to do so, and I've not had the time recently. Both coming soon as we enter the final round!
The FINAL round of Thee TTRPG NPC bracket with begin TOMORROW (9/2) at 7 PM, EST! Thank you all for your patience this week as I shifted into School Mode (TM), and I look forward to seeing the final showdown come to life!! We have an awesome contest :)
Three Cheers for Radish, Bronze Medalist in Thee TTRPG NPC Tournament!
Congrats to Radish! We've had an awesome time learning about him these past few weeks. He stands on the podium in excellent company!
Here's a quick summary of this awesome NPC! Feel free to add on your favorite things about him, if you know a character from your own campaign you think would get along with him and why, or anything else that comes to mind! This post is dedicated to celebrating Radish for being such a fantastic NPC!
Party: Department of Disregard for the Constabulary
Relationship to party: Little dude we met someday
What makes them the best NPC:
Radish is a little radish with arms, legs, and a face. He runs around a farm owned by a crocodile man and screams. Constantly.
Quote:
"I'm a security system!"
This post and other extra comments can be found under Radish's tag on this blog, but here's some highlights:
Give it up one more time for Radish everyone - Bronze medalist in the semifinal round of Thee TTRPG NPC Bracket!
Celebration posts and the next polls being posted have been caught up in the haze of starting yet another year of graduate school, but the celebration for our bronze medal NPC and the FINAL round of The TTRPG NPC Tournament will occur in the next couple of days! Stay tuned!
The TTRPG NPC Tournament Semifinals (Round 4): Mary Byram vs. HE
Each character listed is an NPC submitted by a tournament participant. Be sure to read the character descriptions below the cut before voting!
Mary Byram
HE
Voting ended onAug 25, 2023
Images are in the order of the poll! Image ID included, click to see the full image please!
More about each NPC below the cut!
Character 1
Name: Mary Byram
Party: Ambiscade Gang
Relationship to party: Coworker, divorcee
What makes them the best NPC:
Mary Byram is living proof that the song “No Children” by The Mountain Goats doesn’t just have to be about romantic relationships gone wrong. She’s a bright red tiefling rogue with a storied past, currently working for a guild called the Thinfingers alongside one of the party members. Previously, she worked with a tiefling rights movement called Hellflame, but something happened there that she doesn’t really talk about. She’s still passionate about both the movement and the group, though.
Our bard lovingly calls her “Mare-Bear.” She hates this. She’s a day drinker. She’s exhausted always. She cares so much but will never admit it unless under duress. I think she genuinely thinks that god cursed her by metaphorically putting her in a get-along shirt with our rogue PC. Their dynamic allowed our party to coin the term “Coworker Divorce” except they’re literally not allowed to actually get rid of each other. She is also constantly saddled with the skater-pilled rogue who was also submitted to the bracket, so she’s usually outnumbered when it comes to harebrained schemes. She’s largely anti-antics, but is down for some antics if she's in control of them. She’s a mastermind and usually gives the help bonus action either by telling people what they fucked up or by telling them NOT to fuck something up. She deserves a break she’ll simply never get.
Quote:
"Thoughts?" -the warlock, asking Mary about a proposed plan. "...More than you. Apparently." -Mary
To learn more about Mary, check out the extra propaganda in her tag here!
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Character 2
Name: HE
Party: The Misdemeanor Mateys
Relationship to party: Businessman, aggravating party stalker, final boss
What makes them the best NPC:
Mysterious tiny man with static for a head, and the loudest screechiest voice you can imagine (DM once blew out their vocal chords because of him). Levitates and teleports at will, and can pop objects in and out of existence. Runs a business granting magical favors. Originally tried to hire the party to help his business but the group said "fuck no". Now regularly pops in to nag, cause trouble, or play meme songs on a calliope, and occasionally provides useful information. HE controls an alternate dimension called the Mercantile Pile full of items from different times and places, including lots of modern-day technology (unlike the D&D campaign setting). He can be summoned by writing out his name. His calling card is a 7 of Spades, which he can also use to influence the world & cast spells remotely. HE mainly wears business suits & suspenders, but has also appeared in a hazmat suit (riding a tricycle), turtleneck sweater and thigh holster, wetsuit with suspenders painted on, sequin jacket with '69' on the back, peacock burlesque, and nurse drag outfit. He once killed 20 guards with a snap of his fingers. He also destroyed a walkman with a flamethrower. Implied to be the father of the ultra-powerful kid whose primary pastime is handing out enchanted "friendship nuggets" [chicken]. His #1 business competitor is Michael's Wonder Emporium. Eventually turns out to be one of the most central characters to the story.
Quote:
"STAY OFF MY THRONE!"
"You're going to call me when you need me!"
To learn more about HE, check out the extra propaganda in his tag here!
Congrats to Mary Byram AND HE, who will move into The Finals of The TTRPG NPC Tournament as an agreed-upon tiesweep!
Although one extra vote snuck in there at the last second, at the time the agreement was forged, both participants were at exactly 50/50 and the agreement occurred within eight hours of the poll closing. As such, with such a slight margin and a reasonably standing alliance, the agreement will be honored and both participants will move into the finals as a dynamic duo.
The TTRPG NPC Tournament Semifinals (Round 4): The Shrike vs. Radish
Each character listed is an NPC submitted by a tournament participant. Be sure to read the character descriptions below the cut before voting!
The Shrike
Radish
Voting ended onAug 25, 2023
Images are in the order of the poll! Image ID included, click to see the full image please!
More about each NPC below the cut!
Character 1
Name: The Shrike
Party: The Fosters
Relationship to party: Mom, stepmom, former boss, current leader
What makes them the best NPC:
She's a thousands-of-years-old gnomish planar-physics prodigy from the future. She's divorced. She's engaged. She misses her wife. She's an absentee mom and she's mom of the year. She bakes the best scones in the world. She will shoot you with a harpoon without hesitation. She invented robotics. She loves prime numbers. She built her own legs. She sold her soul to a dubious and unknowable god in order to save her species' future. She's even a lesbian. The Shike. Bwaaaa
Quote:
"YOU DON'T GET TO BEAT ME AT THIS, MOTHERFUCKER. WILL YOU MARRY ME?"
To learn more about The Shrike, check out the extra propaganda in her tag here!
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Character 2
Name: Radish
Party: Department of Disregard for the Constabulary
Relationship to party: Little dude we met someday
What makes them the best NPC:
Radish is a little radish with arms, legs, and a face. He runs around a farm owned by a crocodile man and screams. Constantly.
Quote:
"I'm a security system!"
To learn more about Radish, check out the extra propaganda in his tag here!
Dear Mary voters, would you like to team up with HE and go as a team to the final round? Two wonderful NPCs don’t need to be pitted against one another. I can offer payment in team-up art.
Eagerly awaiting your reply, from the Mercantile pile GM
Mod note: If all parties are in agreement this would definitely be possible!
