I Can't, I Have Rehearsal

[thegreenthingslivebeforetheydie]

my favorite is when Kermit’s facial expression is simultaneously an obvious hand in a puppet but also an instantly recognizable and relatable emotion

[thegreenthingslivebeforetheydie]

[misshoneywheeler]

[zagreus]

if you c*nsor anything in a post you are l*gally required to put all of the omitted v*wels at the end as a footn*te

*eeoo

[doctress]

Okay th*n. *f you’r* sure about th*s. 

Old Macd*nald had a farm.  

*eieio

[zagreus]

i’m going to shatter you like glass

[j0rrated]

i have NPC energy cause most of my replies consist on

ok

NICE

hell ye!

no…….

yes?

sdfghjhghjkjDFGHJKGHJJDFGSS

thank you so much!

fuck!

[j0rrated]

more reasons im a NPC:

if i stand still for too long i start doing idle animations 

will only talk to people if they start conversation first 

my walking speed is too fast to be walking and too slow to be running

if you talk to me too many times i start repeating dialogue

if you do a small favor for me i will follow you around without questions

i will drop a lot exposition if you ask

sometimes i get stuck on doors

you may stand in a straight line from me holding a corpse but its more than 10 meters so i will not notice

low HP

[sixpenceee]

Evolution of the Alphabet

[helloclancy]

cards against humanity posted a listing to try to hire barack obama for their ceo position on craigslist im

[imprettyodd]

[tallish-hobbit]

[ampervadasz]

[mousenemy]

Big fucking boy!!!

[daco-broman]

military certified absolute unit

[the-mighty-birdy-deactivated202]

B O O F

[stabsinthe-archive]

“you cannot kill me in a way that matters” is so raw and powerful but it comes from an incomprehensible shitpost about mushrooms

[andthentheywilleatthestars]

add it to the list boys

[glyndaliker]

My cat gets really excited when I carry stuff. It doesn’t really matter what…

[canofmixxednuts]

This is everything

[musashi]

volume up for purrs

[gyorgpair-deactivated20140812]

well then WHAT is the point

[no-chill-at-all]

[srry-m0m]

this is cute as HELL

[candiikismet]

I’m about to cry

[paper-mario-wiki]

[asillyandrandomname]

I want my husband to have this accent

[imthegirlwhowaited]

alright, that’s fine, that’s pretty con-fucking-venient 

[ghostabletoastables-moved-deact]

when i was very small i assumed this song was about some lady who literally kept a human face in a jar by the door and since father mckenzie buried her that meant that he also killed her and basically i thought eleanor rigby was about zombies until i was like 12 years old

[kokiri-leaf]

This is so much better than anything I could’ve envisioned listening to the song.

[shortwave-audio]

STUART SEMPLE FOUND THE PINK NARC.

God this is the greatest art feud of our time.

Read the conditions of settlement. It’s gold.

[mr-hippietardis]

[cricketthekeeshond]

Cricket found her favorite superhero

[mkultrafemme-deactivated2024031]

http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/real-life/sausage-addicted-kookaburra-too-fat-to-fly/story-e6frflri-1225872729208

[thatsthat24]

That is the face of no regrets.

[wishful-thinkment]

what people don’t realise is that, when it comes to kookaburras, you don’t have a choice about whether your feed them or not. they’re gonna eat your food. 

[ohsosnarky]

You think we’re kidding. We’re not.