According to all known laws of aviation, there is

Official bee, bon vivant, woman about town (she/her)

[wifegideonnav]

“bits to use in everyday conversations”

[wiki-but-made-them-up]

[astercrash]

[something-general]

ojou-sama that married into a commoner family but kept her pride

[cianur0]

[cianur0]

Part 2: Expiration Date

[valtsv]

i'm like a fujoshi but for dead people

[valtsv]

if you could see the thread i'm hanging on by you would not say these things to me

[notaplaceofhonour]

Ryan Gosling’s career has just been one long quest to climb the Warner Bros water tower

[notaplaceofhonour]

that man has been trying to climb this tower since he was 16. he has asked multiple times, and every time they said no, but now he’s famous enough & variety was able to convince them to do a shoot on the tower. it all led here. it was all for this.

[notaplaceofhonour]

I’m obsessed with the implication that this was a coming-of-age ritual where a boy becomes a man, like a bar mitzvah

[pitbolshevik]

I think furry porn is hot, but I don't like have a fursona and I'm not super into the whole subculture. Is it cool if I just get off to some bat ladies sometimes or am I poser?

are you asking for my blessing to jack off to furry porn

[imwiremother]

[chasetriesagain]

This is much funnier if you imagine it's the priest asking the woman on the other side this unsolicited question.

[bluemandycat]

my sister’s bf referred to eating cheese as “mousing out” and i’m so utterly charmed by that. can we all agree to adopt that into language.

[simena]

Pierre Bonnard (detail)

[larchcoin]

[speedlimit15]

When youre a kid youre like wtf adults are making themselves sick with poisons and when youre an adult youre like i need more poisons ASAP

[speedlimit15]

Of all the tags on this post this is the one that worries me most

[random-jot]

[geosie]

[ladytengen]

[campyvillain]

i know this please help me

[campyvillain]

if you seek skeek at my slorse you hate me at my worst

[campyvillain]

HOW THE FUCK DOES THE SYAING GO

[campyvillain]

cool news i think i have some thing wrong with me

[clearlyautomaticpainter]

[guava-jarritos]

[campyvillain]

it happened again

[strayyvoxel]

SILLY LARRY AND THE FLOATING PUSSY

[fitzjubi-deactivated20230204]

[campyvillain]

new development in my brain loss story: i deadass just forgot what jerma was called

[campyvillain]

i couldn’t make this up if i tried

[authoratmidnight]

i still have NO idea what OP means by 'Jerma'. That's, not a thing. I just get random twt account when I google the name.

[campyvillain]

i wish i was you.

[campyvillain]

hey guys great news. guess who saw a doctor recently and it turns out my shitty comprehension skills that coincidentally got worse around the same time i got hit in the head with a spinning loose bench board in middle school probably wasnt just an autism thing and chances are i have aphasia that’s just been unchecked this whole time

[wisflight]

I hope OP is okay but my god am I dying of laughter

[sic-semper-hominibus]

#OP I’m glad you got help and I’m sorry that happened to you #but your aphasia has made me weep with laughter

[crabussy]

crying tears of joy over this photo

[birds-in-posts]

Kākāpō (Strigops habroptilus)

[crabussy]

every time I share a photo of a kākāpō and someone goes "lol it's sirocco the one who shagged a man's head" I get so irritated because there's more than one kākāpō on earth but. after much digging. no this is literally sirocco. this IS in fact and undoubtedly the parrot that shagged some dude's head. happy birthday you crazy bachelor

[gallusrostromegalus]

If i had a nickel for every time I saw a tumblr post where someone recognized One Parrot Specifically from a photo and then proceeded to call out That Specific Parrot for various Parrot Crimes, I'd have two nickels which isn't a lot but it's weird that it's happened twice.

[milanesa42]

“The employees need a larger salary” “hmmmm large celery”

[sexchangedotcom]

"tumblr's the only social media without algorithms!" "you can still be anonymous on tumblr!" "tumblr's so nice because you don't have to show your face!" WRONG tumblr is special because you can have 3000 followers and still get an average of seven likes a post. i'm doing stand up comedy at a packed venue and one person is laughing

[sexchangedotcom]

youre right im sorry beautiful

[kitkatpancakestack]

unavoidable that you will be the villain in someone else's story. You will be painted in an unfavorable light. You will be the irredeemable one. and all of this will happen despite how nice you might usually be or how kind or how respectful or how warm. and you will just have to move on.

[ryssbelle]

[icantbearsedtothinkofone]

For some people, all that's required for being the villain in their story is that you don't let them walk all over you.