#unlearning

[thepeacefulgarden]

[entheognosis]

Hermann Hesse

[nonefrancesca]

stop looking for the version of me that they created in your head (I said to myself)

[andromaex]

i think the reason i relate to arthur so much has less to do with him as a king and more to do with how he was raised, especially with his dad.

growing up with a parent like that—someone who sets the standard for everything, who decides what’s right and wrong so absolutely—you don’t really get the space to figure yourself out. you just learn how to meet expectations. or at least how to try. and when you fall short, it doesn’t feel like you made a mistake, it feels like you are the mistake.

arthur was basically taught that love is conditional. that approval comes from being strong, being controlled, being “right.” there’s no room for doubt, or softness, or questioning anything. so of course he grows up rigid, defensive, sometimes harsh—because that’s what was modeled for him.

and i get that. like, when you’re used to being judged or corrected all the time, you start doing it to yourself. you second guess everything. you overcompensate. you either shut down or get defensive because it feels like you’re always one step away from being told you’re not good enough.

and then there’s the part where you still want their approval anyway. even when you know they’re wrong, even when they’ve hurt you, there’s still that instinct to prove yourself to them. to make them proud. and it’s frustrating because it keeps you tied to them in a way you don’t always want to be.

arthur carries that constantly. you can see how much of what he does is shaped by trying to live up to his father, even when he starts to realize his father’s worldview is flawed. and that kind of shift—when you realize the person who raised you isn’t always right, or maybe even caused harm—that messes with your sense of everything. because if they were wrong about that, what else were they wrong about? what does that make you, when you were raised on it?

i think that’s why he struggles so much with change. not because he’s incapable of it, but because changing means admitting that the foundation you were built on isn’t solid.

and i relate to that a lot. the unlearning. the guilt that comes with it. the feeling that you’re betraying something, even if that something hurt you. the way it takes time to separate who you actually are from who you were told to be.

arthur’s growth feels real to me because it’s not instant. he messes up. he clings to old beliefs. he has to be shown things more than once. but he does change, slowly, and it comes from questioning what he was taught and choosing something different, even when it’s hard.

and i think that’s the part that sticks with me: the idea that you can come from something rigid, something damaging even, and still choose to be better.

[itachiologist]

[mouthtapedguy]

You don’t need approval from people you wouldn’t take advice from

[somewhere-dreaming-her1]

It's definitely food for thought how women are villainized for being high maintenance but celebrated when they are struggling in the name of supposedly 'love.' It's as if women's worth is dictated whether or not they are suffering enough. Women's suffering and pain are so normalized; when women are winning and being smart, they are villainized.

We've been conditioned since we were little girls to get married and find love, but that idea of love is a trap for a lot of us women, holding us back from our true evolution and future as a whole of humanity. In conclusion, when you are married and have children, there's no more of you. But them. Them. And them again. Like our whole life, serving others except ourselves. So love is never an answer for us, at least not in this system. Until there is a true change, love is never an answer for us. Sounds harsh and cruel, but it's true.

We've been so conditioned and brainwashed to tolerate pain that we think that it's normal, but it's actually not. Our responsibility as women is to debunk this false and manipulative narrative. We women deserve to be loved. Deserve to feel good. Deserve to have nice and good things. And we deserve to be respected and legitimate as a fellow human being. So moms, sisters, tell these young girls that they deserve all the best in the world. No less. We need to educate our girls and boys for a better future. The change is now. The future is now.

The least we can do as women is to educate ourselves and be smart with our decisions. Because, more often than not, we are rigged and doomed by this system. So think better. Choose better.