Year of the Feminine Voice

[thefemininevoice]

Celebrating Feminine Greatness

I have a favorite independent book store that I have been supporting since they opened. It was there I bought a Reading Log book mark to track the novels I finish. (I read a lot, and I don't always finish the ones I start out of curiosity. Instead of being frustrated by using a tracker like Goodreads and seeing the DNF graveyard, I made a point to only write down the ones I do finish). I've been tracking since September, and I noticed something interesting. 6 of the 7 novels I've read were written by women. And what a refreshing experience it has been. So far I've read the following:

Make Your Bed by Admiral William H. McRaven (a retired Navy SEAL)

Almost Everything: Notes on Hope by Anne Lamott

The Secret History by Donna Tartt

Circe by Madeline Miller

Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë

Big Nobody by Alex Kalis

Rich Girl Nation by Katie Gatti Tassin

I'm currently reading Lula Dean's Little Library of Banned Books by Kirsten Miller, and I'm so in love! Highly recommend!!

So, I got the idea to do an entire year of reading the works of women authors. This is a New Year's Resolution, but I've already got a head start and I'm not going to stop now. I'm really excited for a year of women's voices in literature, and I hope I can inspire others to read more work by women!

[thefemininevoice]

To paraphrase Ta-Nehisi Coates, good stories haunt you. "Recitatif" by Toni Morrison has been haunting me for weeks. Simply masterful. Elegance and clarity on the subject of race-related trauma with no races defined, because racism harms everyone. It is devastation of the soul.

@thefemininevoice

Paraphrased: Ta-Nehisi Coates, The Message

[thefemininevoice]

We could not live in this world if we were not able, from time to time, to get away from it.

Mortimer J. Adler & Charles Van Doren | How to Read a Book

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It’s a darker feeling, a fear of there being something wrong with me that I won’t ever be able to fix.

- Kate Elizabeth Russell | My Dark Vanessa

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Who was I if I wasn’t trying to make someone love me?

- Melissa Broder | The Pisces

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Book Collages

I am neurodivergent and I don't think in words. I do have thoughts in words, and sometimes phrases just loop. But the thinking I do, the reasoning, the connection building, deeper understanding, it's sort of... nothingness, LMAO. There is nothing going on up there.

I'm joking, but I realized as I was working in my bullet journal that the collages I was making wasn't separate from journaling, it was journaling. I struggle to journal or take notes because I don't think that way. I think in associations. I think in colors, moods, feelings. I ran into a block with this blog because I read two really powerful books together; they overlapped so much on a life-changing level for me. And I thought, I can't just do another one of my dump-posts. This is so much bigger than that. But I couldn't put it into words why. If someone came across my wall of text and scrolled past, then I would have failed because what I learned was so, so important.

I'm excited to use this new format. I need to find a way to do it in a way that doesn't violate copyright or use generative ai images. But, I'm thrilled. This feels like a breath through for me.

Until next time. ❤️

[thefemininevoice]

Equality isn't just a political ideal but every woman's natural, biological right.

- Angela Saini | Inferior: How Science Got Women Wrong - and the New Research That's Rewriting the Story

[the-book-ferret]

“I’ll survive this. I’ll live. But there’s a hole in me, never to be filled. Maybe that’s why people die of old age. Maybe we could live forever if we didn’t love so completely. But we do. And by the time old age comes, we’re filled with holes, so many that it’s too hard to breathe. So many that our insides aren’t even ours anymore. We’re just one big empty space, waiting to be filled by the darkness. Waiting to be free.” ― Sabaa Tahir, All My Rage

[thefemininevoice]

Happy Thanksgiving! At least, today is Thanksgiving in the United States. I'm sure I speak for many people, especially women, that this year has been very difficult. It's been exhausting and I am so... tired. October has always been my favorite time of year, but honestly, waking up to news headlines that were more terrifying than Halloween could ever be.

Still, I have a lot to be thankful for. The library for lending me audiobooks to listen to in the car. My new Kindle. My friends. Still having my mom in my life. Becoming more aware of systemic racism and learning where my blindspots are. Good weather. Music with great bass lines. Unexpected coupons for a free Whopper from Burger King.

I think a large part of recovering from internalized misogyny is learning to see what actually brings you joy, what you find meaningful, and enjoying it without the need to justify it. I will write more about this in a future post, but today, I'm going to find peace in knowing that living a fulfilling life as defined by myself is a radical form of self-love and resistance.

[thefemininevoice]

Violence against women -- it's a men's issue

Domestic violence and sexual abuse are often called "women's issues." But in this bold, blunt talk, Jackson Katz points out that these are i

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Racism is the norm(...) Feedback is key to our ability to recognize and repair our inevitable and often unaware collusion.

White Fragility: Why It's So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism, Robin DiAngelo

I've seen this book in stores before and didn't give it much thought. I believed, "I'm an educated woman in a mixed-race family, I have friends of color, had partners who weren't white, I'm queer, I'm a feminist, I read Ta-Nehisi Coates, I'm cured of racism; inoculated against it. Robin DiAngelo showed me that I am not, in fact, I'm one of the worst perpetuators of racism because I think I'm not racist. She says, "We cannot change what we refuse to see."

It's a deeply painful concept to reckon with; that I uphold and benefit from the institution of racism unconsciously. DiAngelo explains it like this:

"If I understand racism as a system into which I was socialized, I can receive feedback on my problematic racial patterns as a helpful way to support my learning and growth."

I was aware that my high school had only had white people in it. Now I see that, although technically not segregated, it was segregated. When people warn me that I live in a bad neighborhood, it's because my neighborhood is integrated, and they want me to move to a "nicer, safer one," i.e. a white neighborhood.

It's my responsibility to keep learning about my biases, my own racism that comes from being socialized in a racist society. As DiAngelo tells us, it's not to jump on others or try to change others (though we should respectfully call out racism and not be complacent), it's for our own integrity. If you have not read this book, I highly suggest it to anyone who wants to learn about how racism and white supremacy works.

[thefemininevoice]

Gender Bias in AI

Recently I have seen on social media arguments that AI is sexist because it is targeting jobs that are traditionally held by women, such as educators, therapists, secretaries/ assistants (I mean, there's a reason most digital assistants have feminine voices by default.) While I thought that was an interesting point, an even more worrisome prospect is that AI could be enacting gender bias in the real world right now.

Often, we think of computers and technology as being synonymous with cold, hard logic. But LLMs, like Chat-GPT, are trained on data that inform their decision making - logic that perpetuates the bias, conscious and unconscious, within said data. Theoretically, that means a company using AI to screen résumés may reject a candidate based on gender bias as this article explores.

That begs the question, what other harmful biases and misinformation could AI be spreading and the user trust because they see the AI as an authority? Would it be possible to create an AI that is not biased?

[thefemininevoice]

It was while reading Piper's section of the book that I was overcome with guilt and shame. I, a white person, had meant well, but I realized have said some racist things before. To my friends of color, to people in my community with accents, and, most painful of all, my mixed-race sister. I had said, "When you have a tan, you look like you could be from the Middle East. Or anywhere. You're a beauty around the world." I had meant it as a compliment when I noted someone's accent and asked what sort of accent it was (the dreaded, Where are you really from?) I told my sister she was beautiful and racially ambiguous. It was something blunt that a white child would say; I was a teenager. But I had exoticized her; made her the other, when I shared half of my genes with her. I, being the white sister, held the power of discrimination and I enforced it within our shared home - what should have been her reprieve from whiteness; the whiteness which seeks to classify people by race and falters when they see someone of mixed-race.

I can't change the past, but I can reflect on my own behavior and recognize what is racist programming - something that no white person can avoid when being socialized in the United States. I am now reading White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo, who I have loosely paraphrased here. She describes why white people unconsciously perpetuate racism, and that those who see themselves as not racist or progressive (how I viewed myself as a child, and honestly, still) can be some of the worst offenders. I can only hope to continue to learn and change so I can be anti-racist. To do that though, I first need to learn about my own white privilege and racism.

[thefemininevoice]

My mind kept going back to The Help by Kathryn Stockett and I thought, why don't I see a lot of reactions to this novel? So, I sought it out online, specifically what did Black women think of this book. I came across the An Open Statement to the Fans of The Help from the Association of Black Women Historians. I learned about the harmful stereotype of "strong, Black women." That is not to say that Black women aren't strong, but it is juxtaposed to the frailty, daintiness of white women. This stereotype is rooted in slavery - a justification that Black women weren't "real women," and didn't experience pain. (I am paraphrasing from The Toni Morrison Book Club by Juda Bennett and co.) I never knew that it was thanks to my white privilege that my pain and femininity is acknowledged, validated, and even celebrated.

By no means am I trying to speak for Black women, or am I trying to be a "white savior." The purpose of my project, this blog, is to see where reading a Western canon dominated with wealthy, white men has given me blind spots. It's only been a couple weeks and I have fallen down a rabbit hole that has changed my perspective so much more than I expected. It's not have I haven't read books and essays by Black authors before, I have read W.E.B. Du Bois, Ta-Nehisi Coates, James McBride. But Toni Morrison's works have been life changing to me.

[thefemininevoice]

“Outlaw women are fascinating—not always for their behavior, but because historically women are seen as naturally disruptive and their status is an illegal one from birth if it is not under the rule of men. In much literature a woman’s escape from male rule led to regret, misery, if not complete disaster." - Toni Morrison Nastywomenwriters.com

[thefemininevoice]

I just finished reading The Pumpkin Spice Café by Laurie Gilmore. Let me first say I read this book for two reasons: 1. The cover is gorgeous. 2. I like pumpkin spice, lol.

I'll be upfront and say I didn't like the book though, and I won't be reading the rest of the series. Personally, I wasn't a fan of Logan, the love interest. I literally got so angry at the way he treated Jeanie at one point. He pissed me off and I had to take a break, lmao. There's very little character development for any of the characters, and the story ends so abruptly I literally said, "Oh," aloud. The entire story is just undeveloped in my humble opinion.

Have you read this story or other books in the series? I'd like to know what you think!

[thefemininevoice]

The Grief of Deep Knowledge

This is a topic that I don't see shared, and one that I did not know I was not alone in. I thought that I was experiencing some sort of mental illness, maybe derealization. I have a degree in Anthropology, and yes, the irony of being a feminist is not lost of me. This area of study, something of a weird older-brother to colonialism, has given me such a unique perspective on life. Sociology is sort of like the hip, cool auntie, which I hear most people enjoy studying. But at some point along in my reading, in the synthesizing of knowledge, it was like I learned something I shouldn't have.

Raised in a fundamental Christian community, I despised atheists and pitied other spiritual leaders for having been duped by Satan. Then, not by conscious choice, I could no longer be a Christian. Not because I hated God, but because I could not force myself to believe in what did not make sense to me.

I looked at people and saw apes. I look in the mirror and I see an animal. No in a biology class definition, but truly, some animal with an awareness that garners responsibility, and also, a strange sort of despair. An existential grief.

Please allow me to be clumsy with describing this topic; I do not have the vocabulary for the concepts I'm trying to convey, but I know I am not alone. This is a very, very old grief. My mind goes to Pandora's Box, and the fruit of knowledge. Once you see, you cannot unsee. Like the Garden of Eden, you can never go back.

Do we all experience this?