The Forbidden Texts

Secret texts that should not be seen by anyone ever, those who read them shalt be cursed to know they exist! (my writing and analysis)

[theforbiddentexts]

Allegedly, this is the place a certain skeleton puts their writing and analysis posts because they reblog too much to find all of them on their regular blog and they are a coward who doesn't want people to know they wrote these

Things are tagged pretty literally by type, fandom, character, AU name if applicable

[ryanthel0ser]

[Post Episode 8 Thing because I'm gonna be stupid grinning forever]

"Jeez, they're persistent," Wolfwood pulled Vash into a nook in the orphanage, "can't have a minute of privacy." Vash laughed, "you can't blame em, scared the crap out of us." That soft smile crept across his face as he looked at Wolfwood's hair, now white with brushes of gray. His hand came up involuntarily and held a piece of it between his fingers, "looks good on you." Before he could blink, Wolfwood grabbed his jacket and pulled him in, their lips colliding. Vash looked at him wide eyed as they deeply kissed, both their faces becoming flushed with pink. Wolfwood pulled away, looking to the side as the pink gradually grew more red and spread to his ears. There was a pause as Vash continued to stare wide eyed at him, the silence churning inside Wolfwood as he felt his eyes on him. Then, Vash turned his head, holding his face as he did one kiss on his lips. Then another, then another, then kissed his cheeks, his nose, his eyes. He began peppering every square inch of Wolfwood's face with kisses. "Alright, ALRIGHT, you're gonna suffocate me blondie," Wolfwood stopped as he heard sniffles coming from Vash, seeing tears running down his face. "I'm so happy you're here," he buried his face in the crook of Wolfwood's neck and wrapped his arms around him, clinging tightly. A dopey smile spread across Wolfwood's face as he held Vash, "me too Needle Noggin."

[theforbiddentexts]

Something I adore about "The Nightmare Begins" from FF7 Rebirth is how very quietly behind the instrument playing the main melody (I think it's a guitar personally) is a piano. It follows along the melody but not the entire time, first coming in by following the instrumental behind the melody for a few notes before it decides to join the melody in the main "chorus" of the song.

It's so ghostly with how it first only accents a note before dueting the melody, then drowned out by the swell of strings. It's a unique subtlety to the theme, one that for me lends itself to some speculation. This is Vincent's theme after all, it is a theme meant to encompass who Vincent is. So why include this ghostly piano that is barely in the piece?

Other than just adding to the gothic vibe of the piece, this ghostly piano feels like it's the representation of Vincent's ghosts haunting him from the past. Of Lucrecia. She continues to be a part of his mind that he can't let go of, the center of what he believes are his sins, the woman he's still in love with. With this in mind, the theme is elevated, an elaboration on the original theme from almost thirty years ago. We have more of the significance of Lucrecia to Vincent now, we know how much she meant to him even more than we did in 1997 and the theme reflects that. This isn't just a mysterious man with a past we aren't privy to yet, this is a mysterious man with a past he's haunted by so much so it's woven into his very theme.

In my mind, it's as if Vincent is the one playing the melody, as if he's expressing his own inner turmoil and melancholy, and then very softly the memory of Lucrecia, her ghost, presses those piano keys.

[theforbiddentexts]

"One moment!" she wiped her hands off on the towel, setting it back on the counter as she walked to the door. She wasn't expecting anyone today, though a drop in from one of the ladies wasn't uncommon nowadays. She wished they'd give her some heads up so she could at least look like she had some things together.

As she opened the door, her mouth opened to say a greeting but her entire being froze as her eyes met the man in front of her.

It was him.

His dark figure stood at the door, the black cloak engulfing him, no trace of the body and weapons that were underneath. His hat brim wide, the veil that normally sat with only his front uncovered was pushed to trail down just the back of his hat. She could fully see his dark hair spilling out down his shoulders, and that face. Oh, that face that made her eyes never want to leave. Delicately beautiful, sharp features that harbored a softness as he looked upon her. His strong brows normally angled to darken his face sat curved, his lashes full and long to frame those amber irises that she swore sparkled in sunlight. But eyes so deep that only time itself could create, a hauntingly otherworldly visage that contrasted from the intimidating form. Her heart beat wildly in her chest, unclear as to why it should.

"How…"

"I'm sorry. I should not have come. But I…," his hand reached up to her face, the cold touch cupping her cheek in that oh so familiar way that made her stomach turn once more. "Time and time again, every waking moment, every dream, every breath and beat in my heart, every ray of sunlight and drop a rain that touched my skin, every breeze and the flowers that bent to it, every flow of water from gentle stream to raging river, they all could only draw me back to thoughts of you."

Her tears began to flow without control, no one with a heart couldn't stop them if they too were told such things by a man like him. One who walked the world for so long.

"I had to see you once more, to be here again. I should have just watched, but the memories of being with you drove me back to your door." She bit her lip, holding back her sobs as her hands trembled with what she had to do. His eyes caught something he did not expect to see in her face.

"What's wrong?" She shook her head as she tore her eyes from him, slowly bringing her hand up to remove his. It was worse than any pain she'd ever experienced.

"What are-" She pushed him back from her, breaths shaky and shallow.

"Leave..." Her eyes were glued to the ground so she did not have to witness the heartbreak across his face, for if she saw it she'd drive a knife through her own heart for such a crime.

"Leave me...never return."

"But..."

"GO! NEVER COME BACK!"

"...what are you not telling me." She tried to utter the words, but to say she didn't love him would contradict everything she believed. She too had time and time again only been drawn to thoughts of him, but she could not let him return. She knew the risks, she knew it could never be. It was not safe for him to be here, to know this.

"What is that," she looked up to see his eyes glued to the hallway in her home, face lifted as if something was heard. Then, she heard a small whimper as her stomach dropped with cold pit of fear.

"LEAVE!" She pushed hard against him, but his being had become like a wall. The soft expression he had once again angular and closed off like the day they met. He walked past her making his way to the room in the hallway as she grabbed at him desperately pleading for him to leave. But to him, she was less than a fly buzzing around his head as he sped past her faster than she could blink. Running to the doorway herself, she saw an image that she'd both dreamt of and feared. He stood over the cradle, eyes wide as he gazed upon the small form crying in a nest of blankets and pillows. She fell to her knees as the sobs began to wring out her soul.

"You weren't supposed to know, you were never supposed to meet," her hands wiped her face in a futile attempt to stop the sobs, "I knew the dangers but I couldn't I-I couldn't stop it. She was all I had of us, I could never, I couldn't..." her words trailed off as the sounds of her sobs mixed with the cries of the baby. Slowly, his hands reached down into the crib, gently sliding under the blanket beneath her as he lifted her, the frilled white fabric spilling over his leather clad arms. Her cries subsided as he gently rocked her, the veil of his hat falling forward to hide his face from the woman's view.

"I'm sorry...I'm sorry," her body sunk lower and lower into herself as her hands came up to cover her face with shame. She did not hear him approach and kneel before her, the bundle in his arms looking between the two.

"My dear...why didn't you call for me? I would've heard your voice even if it was a whisper to the night breeze."

"I knew," her words stumbled out between tears, "I knew it was dangerous. I knew she'd be killed if they found out what her father was. I knew it'd only put you at risk...I never expected you to...to..." Her breath hitched as he leaned closer to her, "I knew it was wrong to bring someone into the world that'd be hated for something she couldn't control but...I couldn't stop it. I couldn't bear to lose her."

Suddenly, she felt his cold touch once more along her cheek as his lips met hers, melting once more at them like she had countless times before.

He held her face, wiping the tears from her eye with his thumb, "my love you have nothing to regret."

Her eyes met his, heart overwhelmed with the soft sorrowful look in his eyes. "For many centuries, I would have said this was wrong. I would have stopped myself back then, back when I met you, if I knew it'd result in her. But now," a smile broke through the darkness as he looked down at the baby, "I couldn't bear to imagine any other outcome."

A small hand came up, trying to grab at the veil hanging down from his hat.

"She's beautiful, just like her mother."

The woman chuckled as she wiped her face, "you mean her father."

"She must be 4 months now."

"Just turned 3 months."

"Only three?! She is growing quite well then," he said with a warm smile.

"She is draining me that's for certain."

A look of worry came over his face as he looked at the woman, "are you alright? Has she-"

"No, no I meant breastfeeding love. She hasn't shown any of those cravings other than when I was carrying her."

"...did you drink?"

"Only from the livestock, not often either. Just a few times. Many appreciated the meals that resulted from the meat though," she laughed to herself remembering the awful experience.

"Does anyone know?"

She shook her head, "I'm sure they suspect you're her father, but no one knows your blood or hers."

He smiled once again, "her father...I never imagined to hold such a precious title."

[theforbiddentexts]

What if I was a little bit cringe and posted my OC writing that wouldn't leave me alone last night? What then?

[theforbiddentexts]

One of my absolute favorite scenes in all of the FF7 compilation is the scene in FF7 Remake when Aerith goes to get Marlene from Seventh Heaven. It's a scene we didn't have in the original game and is a beautiful scene for so many reasons that make me teary eyed every time, but the scene now hits even harder for me after reading Traces of Two Pasts.

Because the way Aerith reassures Betty and Marlene is exactly what she needed to hear when her and Ifalna escaped the labs.

When you read their escape, it's clear Ifalna is struggling the entire time to stay strong for Aerith through the immense pain and exhaustion she is feeling. Trying to comfort Aerith throughout the scary experience, not only because of the escape being inherently anxiety inducing but because Aerith has never seen any of the world outside of the walls of the lab. But it's not enough, not because Ifalna isn't trying her best but because she is so drained from everything.

It's an experience that clearly sticks with Aerith as we see in Rebirth in the Temple Trial as you play as her starting from the train to Elmyra taking her. Ifalna doing her best to comfort Aerith, Aerith walking around begging for help before walking back saying "I'm sorry Mommy," and having to be ripped away from Ifalna's body so she's not caught. It's a sudden, rough, traumatic event for Aerith as her world is flipped upside down.

The platefall is a very similar event for the people of Sector 7, their whole worlds are being destroyed literally. Aerith runs through this panic to get to Marlene and she finds Betty standing alone crying.

"I know it must hurt...but you've got to be brave now, okay?"

She then picks up Betty and walks through the panic. Not running, not rushing, a calm walk as she gives her reassurances in a calm voice. "No need to rush. Steady now..." "Almost there, okay?" "I'll be fine. Don't worry about me." Aerith is giving Betty what she needed that day. Someone who wasn't panicking, rushing, who could reassure her that it's okay. Words she needed to hear. This continues once she gets to Marlene.

"I know it's hard. Just remember, you still have your Daddy. You can build a new home together, anywhere!"

"Tell you what. We'll grow lots of flowers at your new house."

Aerith tells Marlene things that take away the fear and anxiety of losing her home, of what she knows. Her dad will still be there, she can have a new home anywhere, and something to look forward to, flowers. Something Ifalna tried to do for Aerith too. And then when Tseng shows up, she takes on a confident and still calm face for Marlene.

"There's nothing to be scared of. Okay?"

Aerith becomes the person she needed that day. I don't doubt she is scared in that scene as well, she knows she's going to be back under Shinra's eye again and with Hojo again. Yet, she still has a strong face for Marlene. She walks with confidence, doesn't lose that calm voice. Someone that she needed when escaping the lab. When she lost her mom. When her world was destroyed.

"How about…we make a deal?"

[theforbiddentexts]

To be able to recognize you can leave an abusive situation, especially one you're born into is incredibly difficult and not an easy process to go through. Imagine how Sephiroth felt after stating "I may abandon Shinra."

The excitement, the fear, the anxiety, the pain in that feeling. The environment at Shinra is all he's ever known, that objectification and false glorification, being treated as less than human for as long as he could remember. He could finally leave. What would come after, who knows, but he'd be out.

And then he gets to Nibelheim. He learns he was never free, there was never a time he was free, there was never even a chance. His life wasn't his, his very existence didn't belong to him. He wasn't born and then taken to be an experiment, he wasn't even born naturally. Ever since he was first thought of, he was an experiment.

He didn't exist because someone wanted a son, he existed because they needed a specimen.

Even the dreams, the fantasies in his mind of his mother coming to save him and spending time with her, having her care are completely shattered. The library in the manor tells him he never had a mother. The woman in the photo didn't exist. If there wasn't a chance of those things happening before, it was now at absolute zero.

He wasn't loved. He was never loved. There was never a chance to be loved. The people who cared, who he thought cared, were gone or dead. All he had was Jenova.

Was Mother.