Kindness Is Charity :)

Trying to channel energy into something productive, something positive.

[thegentlefriend]

This is for all the friends who struggle with chronic illness. Friend, you are not lazy. You are not worth less just because you struggle with an illness. You are fighting a great battle, and a long one. You deserve care. You deserve understanding. You deserve compassion. You deserve patience. It is not your fault that you struggle. You are ill. You are allowed to ask for help. You are always allowed to ask for help, friend. You are allowed to take your time. You are allowed to struggle. You are trying enough. You are doing your best. Be kind to yourself today, friend. Rest if you need that.

[thegentlefriend]

It is okay to struggle with anger. Overwhelming emotions don't make you a monster, friend. Sometimes, our feelings are intense. Maybe in the past we experienced a time where we couldn't express ourselves safely and now struggle to do so now. Maybe it's a matter of brain chemistry. Maybe it's both, or some other reason. Regardless, your anger does not make you a bad person. You are not lesser of worth for having these feelings. I am proud of you for doing your best to learn healthy coping mechanisms, friend. I am proud of you for putting in the effort to be your kindest self, for putting in the effort to be kind to yourself by letting yourself learn to feel in ways that don't hurt. All progress you make is still progress, and it's wonderful to see you grow. You deserve a world where you can express yourself in a healthy way, friend. I believe in you.

[thegentlefriend]

You deserve to live.

No matter what, my friend, you deserve the chance to keep going. To see another sunrise. To make it through the pain. You will make it through the pain.

Please stay with us, friend. Be kind to yourself.

[thegentlefriend]

No matter what, you are worth believing in. Friend, you are worth care, you are worth self care. No matter what. Please be kind to yourself today, friend. You always deserve to be gentle with yourself.

[thegentlefriend]

Please drink water today, friend! If you see this post, please drink a glass of water. Water is very important. If you don't drink enough water, you might end up feeling tired or confused. Do yourself a kindness and drink some water after seeing this post! A kindness towards yourself always counts as kindness. :)

[thegentlefriend]

Even if it's one task, no matter how small it is: it's still important that you did it. Whether it be getting out of bed, or throwing one piece of trash away, or wiping down one corner of a table - doing a little task matters so much, friend. Every effort you make is worth it. You don't have to punish yourself for not doing everything all at once. You're allowed to take it one step at a time, no matter how small the step is. I'm proud of you for trying, friend.

[thegentlefriend]

If you're reading this, I'm glad you're still here. Let's see the sunrise tomorrow, okay, friend?

[thegentlefriend]

Hi, friend. I have my national level final exams starting from tomorrow, but I'm struggling a lot with executive dysfunction and not being able to focus. I haven't prepared well enough, and I am unable to start. This exam is super important because it will determine which college I go to, and most of the colleges I'm looking at require a minimum score of 97% in this examination. I have anxiety and this is leading to me being super stressed. I would really appreciate your advice. Thank you, and have a wonderful day.

Hi, friend. I hope this reaches you when you need it. When it comes to executive dysfunction, I try to focus on the smallest "unit" of information I possible can. If I'm feeling overwhelmed about all the material I have to study for an exam, I try to pick one topic (no matter the topic, as long as you pick one) and "zoom in" on it, choosing to live moment to moment rather than think about the big picture. Focus on just the words you are reading/reviewing in that moment. This, personally, helps lessen my anxiety. I also can recommend the Pomodoro Technique as a method to help organize your studying time into concrete little "blocks." There are even youtube videos you can "body double" the Pomodoro Technique with, like this one, where the ambience and illusion of another person studying with you (and someone else keeping track of the time) might help you focus better. Remember: Some amount of studying is always better than none, even if you might not be able to study "all" the material in time. You will still be able to answer a question or two more correctly than you could have otherwise, and that counts! No matter what happens: It will work out, I promise. Even if the worst case scenario comes true and you need to go to a different college than the ones you plan to, you will be able to pursue your goals in life. You will still be able to achieve happiness and fulfillment. Even if life throws you a curve ball, you will be able to handle it. Deep breath. It's going to be okay. I believe in you. I wish you luck on your exams! No matter the outcome, please reward yourself with a treat after. Exams are very stressful, and you deserve a break.

[thegentlefriend]

I'm proud of you.

[thegentlefriend]

Hi, friend! You do not have to do anything at all to be "worthy" of self care. Self care is not something that you "earn," it's a kindness that you always deserve. Please be kind to yourself today. Drink water, eat, shower, take a walk outside, listen to a song you like -- no matter what, you always deserve your body and mind to be cared for. Caring for yourself will help you achieve your goals, but you also deserve self care regardless of any other circumstances.

Practice self care today!

[thegentlefriend]

You don’t have to be the best at something to enjoy it, friend! If a hobby makes you happy: you’re allowed to be happy! You are allowed to enjoy a hobby, no matter how much skill you have or not! You’re allowed to have fun :)

[thegentlefriend]

Well, friend, I think you always have the right to take up space. I think you’re allowed to look at your accomplishment and go, “I think I did a pretty bang up good job out here!” I think you’re allowed to compliment yourself. Because you see: you are a being of inherent value and inherent worth. You deserve to take up space, same as anyone else. You deserve to feel good about yourself. You do.

You’re allowed to be proud of yourself, friend.

[thegentlefriend]

You do not exist to be enjoyed by others.

My friend: you’re a whole being, too. Your enjoyment matters, too. You deserve to do what you enjoy. You deserve care.

Please be kind to yourself today. Eat, rest, drink water. Do an activity you enjoy. If you’re not sure what you enjoy, you can always try something new — a book, a song, a TV show, a game, drawing, writing, and all other kinds of activities — and explore how it makes you feel. It’s okay if you’re unsure right away. You are allowed to take all the time you need to figure yourself out.

You do not exist for the sake of others, friend. You’re a whole being, too. You deserve to live for yourself. You deserve the kindness you give to others. Kindness towards yourself still counts as kindness!

[thegentlefriend]

Your achievements are worth celebrating, friend. No matter how small you think they are - you deserve recognition from those close to you. You are not selfish for wanting this recognition. You are not selfish for wanting to be celebrated.

I’m proud of you, for striving so hard. Even if you feel like the accomplishment is small, I’m still proud of you. You deserve a celebration, friend - be kind to yourself and do something nice for yourself today, like engaging in a fun hobby or treating yourself to your favorite song or your favorite food - okay?

[thegentlefriend]

I hope all multigender friends have a wonderful day today :) You are valid as all the gender(s) you identify as. One gender does not “cancel” out the others. However you choose to define your relationship to your gender(s), and your sexuality — you are extremely valid. You are the author of your own experience! You are allowed to describe those experiences with the labels and words that you connect with.

Multigender people are very neat :)

[thegentlefriend]

You always have the right to feel uncomfortable.

You always have the right to say no.

You always have the right to want to stop participating in an activity that is making you uncomfortable.

Friend: it does not matter if you initiated this activity, or you were enjoying it at the start. If it becomes uncomfortable, if it starts to make you feel numb, in pain, scared, upset, even just grossed out — you are allowed to stop. You are always allowed to stop. No one should force you to continue. No one should pressure you into continuing the activity.

Friend, you always have the right to leave a situation that makes you feel uncomfortable, that makes you feel unsafe, on edge, queasy, hurt — for any reason.

You always deserve to have your boundaries and consent respected. Others respecting consent and boundaries is an ongoing process, friend. You have the right to say no at any time, and that no should be respected. Your discomfort should be respected, and the activity should be stopped.

[thegentlefriend]

Your worth is not dependent on your grades in school.

Your worth is not dependent on how useful you are to others.

Your worth is not dependent on how good of a shoulder you are to cry on.

Your worth is not dependent on how small you make yourself.

Your worth is not dependent on how much money you make.

Your worth is not dependent on having a specific body type.

My friend: You have inherent worth. You are always worthy. I am proud of you for being with us today, and I hope you will stay with us tomorrow, and every day after. Please do something, no matter how small, that will make you happy today — like watching an episode of a favorite TV show, listening to a song you like, taking time to eat or shower, engaging in a hobby you like such as drawing or writing, or even just going outside. You deserve to do at least one thing that makes you happy today, friend, no matter how small.

You have inherent worth.