The Genuine Story of a Student

[fearlessnessxo]

Being an RA automatically makes you a series cast member on Law & Order: College Edition.

[thegenuinestoryofastudent]

how do i feel so happy and so sad at the same time?

[thegenuinestoryofastudent]

Sometimes it's the girl who looks like she's got it all together. The one who's always smiling, always laughing, always busy doing things. The one who is constantly involved, talking to people and doing more for others. You can't think she doesn't battle. Because the one who constantly is smiling, the bubbly one--she's the one who gets back to her room and cries. She's the one who is helping other people and making other people happy when she can't seem to figure out how to do that for herself. She's the one who can't seem to find a reason why she's sad but can't seem to pull herself out of the pit, and Lord knows she's tried. Even if someone looks like everything is perfect, and they are really great: be weary. Be a good friend. Check on them, let them know you are there for them. Because sometimes they don't want to show it, or don't want to burden anyone. But they need it, they need that friend they need that person to check in on them. I know because this is me. I have no reason to be depressed. I have everything: two great jobs, working on getting my education, great healthy relationships with a partner, friends, and family. I have my physical health, thank God. Yet I struggle every single day with depression and anxiety. I put this pressure on myself, saying I can't just change who I am. I can't let on that I'm sad because that's not who people know me as. They know me as the happy, giggly person I show. But I wish I was happier and gigglier and prouder when it's just me. But that is when I struggle. I've come to realize that healing is not linear. There are bumps and rough patches. But when it hits you this late at night, it's hard to see anything but darkness.

[lifeinareshall]

“MANDATORY” Floor Meetings

[studydiaryofamedstudent]

[everything-studyblr]

There’s this person inside my head. She’s brilliant, capable. She’s me, only so much better. And I’m afraid I’ll never become this person.

Meredith grey (via everything-studyblr)

[thegenuinestoryofastudent]

Been feeling so motivated lately, and I got a good grade on my first anatomy quiz of the semester so that really felt satisfying because I studied really well for that. And I have to just get back in the swing of things, remind myself how bad I want this. Remind myself that I am doing this for me and to make myself proud. I can do this

[thegenuinestoryofastudent]

three more finals and ra closing and i’ll be home for break

[thegenuinestoryofastudent]

four am thoughts

so this is the story of us: i’m so grateful for my best friend. he is the greatest man i could ask for, and i just marvel each day that he chose me. i’m fucking busy and spread myself thin, and he’s fucking busy and does a lot, and we still make time for each other and put time in to make this work. we knew each other pretty much all of our lives, we’re from the same small hometown and we grew up in the same school. first grade we were actually in the same class. anyway, we didn’t really get to know each other until we were in middle school. in seventh grade, we had a few classes together and we developed a great friendship. it was pretty typical middle school, i didn’t even have a phone but he did so out of school he would text my email so we could still talk. we got really close, and bonded over lots of things. but we each had a lot of shit going on, even though we were young. things at home weren’t great for him and i had some personal health issues. it was a dark time for us both. we opened up and were able to confide in each other and trust each other and served as an outlet and helpline for each other. he wanted to date, but i kept turning him down, saying i wasn’t ready to change our relationship from friendship to something more (i know, kind of typical). eventually, in july of summer 2010, he asked me out again and I agreed. we dated for I think about three weeks, and then i called him one day and said i just wanted to be friends. we’ve talked about this since then, and this actually really broke him. he was so ready to date me, and i just wasn’t. for a while we didn’t talk, because it was pretty painful. but then once school started up again, we reconnected. that october, he invited me to his birthday party at his house with a couple of other kids from school. at this party, he asked me to be his girlfriend one last time while we were on a walk around his neighborhood. this was saturday, and i said i would give him an answer on monday in school. that monday, in the elevator room before lunch, i yelled as the elevator doors were closing YES. best answer i ever have given, because over six years later, he is still my best friend and boyfriend. the first year was pretty rough, because like i said we each had some personal issues going on. but i’m so so glad we kept going. not once have we broken up or called it quits. we have gotten into a few big arguments, but we’ve always chosen us and our cherished relationship over something minor or petty. in six years, we have built so much trust, so much love, so many memories, so much happiness. we have started a life together. all through high school, we spent a lot of time together, and supported each other. we went to every homecoming together, attended as many games of each others we could, cheered the other on, went to junior prom, were on the homecoming court together our senior year, struggled through senioritis together, applied to colleges together, and finally graduated together!! That was one of the happiest days of my life. We were supportive of each other and each other’s rock through it all. We each decided on our schools, and we didn’t choose the same one. I love my college and who I am now, as does he. And we’ve made it. Freshman year of college was hard, because I was so homesick for him and home, and he wasn’t as sad. Sure, he still struggled, but I lashed out more and needed him more, and he was transitioning better into college and the college experience. We struggled the first semester of our first year, because I also was in an unhealthy environment. Second semester got easier, because we had developed a better routine with visiting each other and being able to maintain sanity. Here we are nearing the end of our first semester of our second years in college and we are doing amazing. This semester has been amazing for us. We are both fucking busy. We each do so much on campus, and don’t have much free time. I think that was my problem, I wasn’t super involved last year so I had a lot more time on my hands to miss him. This semester I dove into so many different things, and the time we have for each other is so much more cherished. I also am an RA so I have my own room so that has definitely helped with visiting and him sleeping over. I also have my car on campus, so I get to visit him too. We just have both grown so much in the six years and I’m so proud of us. This isn’t some sad story, because we still are together and striving and loving. And it’s true: there are some people that just have such an incredible impact on you. I love him so much, and I don’t know how words can describe it. We have grown together as a couple as well as individuals, and I’m so proud of him and I’m proud of myself and I’m proud of us. We’ve certainly beat odds, maintaining the same solid relationship from middle school, to high school, and to college. And i’m ready to spend the rest of my life fighting the odds to stick with my best friend till the day I die. I look forward to every day because I know he’s there with me, even if he’s not actually with me. I’m so grateful to have met my best friend so early in life, and I’m so lucky to have had all this time to love him already. I’m just so grateful and happy to be his girl.

[thegenuinestoryofastudent]

Feel so fucking tired

[thegenuinestoryofastudent]

People suck most days. But the nice people keep me going

[thegenuinestoryofastudent]

[thegenuinestoryofastudent]

Sometimes you just need to be by yourself.

[leidgott]

[regular-love]

[mindblownie]

in other news today i found out that eddie redmayne has a degree in art history and for his diploma he wrote a 12k words analysis of a picture that’s basically a blue square on a black background; the thing was it was a very unique shade of blue, actually used there for the first time ever; however, being colorblind, i quote, he had no idea what the colour was but well, it looked very pretty to him

and somehow i find this very uplifting i mean if you can pull sth like that off, write a 12k words thesis on a colour you don’t even recognize properly, anything is possible and this is the story of how eddie redmayne officially became my saint patron of high level academic bullshitting

[thegenuinestoryofastudent]

really been struggling with myself lately, but also been having some really great days lately. it’s tough to find a balance between feeling so low and feeling so high, guess that’s why I try to find something that doesn’t make me have to feel anything