blake kathryn
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dirt enthusiast
Love Begins
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@thegirlfromtheinternet
so im trying to decipher this chart on wikipedia that has common vampire weaknesses in it and
a ‘green/yes’ is a weakness, a ‘red/no’ is something that isnt a weakness, and a ‘?’ is something that has never been addressed but fucking riddle me this
in what lore are vampires weak to getting soggy in milk
i scrolled over to check to see what this could possibly be and
places a hand on me cheek
happy halloween month time for my favourite post of all time
i’m literally in HYSTERICS over this righr nowhdjahkshdjshsjs
when my dad moved away from home he needed a place to live, so he went to look at this one potential apartment. the only questions the landlady asked him were where he was born and when. when my dad told him, the landlady pulled out this huuuge astrology chart book. she looked at it for a long time in silence and finally said, “acceptable”
this is funny and awful at the same time
*drives up to the humane society and yells out my window* YEAH I’D LIKE A MEDIUM PEPSI
“lol is everything offensive these days?”
mankind? No. man mean
do not fix your dark circles let the world know youre tired of its shit and ready to kill a man
you’re* it’s* Btw. I am a man.
oooooooooooooh my gooooooooooooooooooooooood ooooooooh my god. oh my god. ooooooooooh. my god oh my god
This award is so much larger than me. This moment is about visibility and about representation. What and who we see in the media defines our perception of the world around us, and so to see ourselves in this picture of what is ‘normal’ and what is acceptable and what is beautiful is absolutely vital. In saying that, so much of the work that has contributed to our progress as a community is far less glamorous than the work that I’m being honored for tonight.
Keep reading
shout out to people on tumblr with no squads or group chats with weird names or people who just don’t get messages. the internet is a strange place i hope you can all still enjoy yourselves & if not u are not alone!
and you know what, shout out to people who don’t have any good friends irl either. i know it seems lonely right now but it won’t be forever there is a friend out there for you! i believe in you!
what ages were ur guys ‘’ugly stage’’
birth to present
little kids say the funniest stuff
Child in stripes: “My daddy has a gold tooth.”
Child in red: “Wow. Gold tooth?”
Child in stripes: “My daddy has a gold tooth.”
Child in white: “My dad has diabetes.”
Who wins?
LMFAO WOW
Black and White painting by Bob Ross
Still looks awesome
bob ross is the most unproblematic of the faves
All he ever wanted was to brighten your day.
We don’t even need a disney remake of Mulan. Look at this.
I would totally watch more Disney reboots if children from the actual ethnicities were cast in those movies.
They killed it! Especially Granny!
it’s not about that i know how to do laundry. it’s that when i was four i knew how to fold clothes; small hands working alongside my mother, while my older brother sat and played with his toys. it’s that i know what kind of detergent works but my father guesses. it’s that in my freshman year of college i had a line of boys who needed me to show them how to use the machine. it’s that the first door they knocked on belonged to me. it’s that they expected me to know.
it’s not that i know how to cook. it’s that the biggest christmas present i got was a little plastic kitchenette i never used except to climb on. it’s that my brother used it more, his hands ghosting over pink buttons and yellow dials. it’s that when my work needs cake for a birthday, they turn to me. i get it from costco. i don’t even like cooking. a boy burns popcorn in the dorm microwave and laughs. a week later, i do the same thing, and he snorts at me, “just crossed you off my wife list.” it’s that i had heard something like this so many times before that i laughed, too.
it’s not that i don’t love being feminine. it’s that i came home with bruises from trying to be a trick rider on my bike and heard the word “tomboy,” felt my little mouth say, “but i’m not a boy, i’m a girl”. it’s that they laughed. it’s that until i was sitting in my pretty dress and smiling with a big pretty smile and blinking my big pretty eyes, i wasn’t given back the title “girl”. it’s that until i wore makeup and styled my hair i was bullied; it’s that when i don’t wear makeup i’m a slob, that my mental health diagnosis hangs on the hook of being dressed up. it’s that my therapist sees me returning to bright red lipstick and tells me i am looking happier and i have to explain that i am more sad than i have ever been. it’s that i dress myself in as many layers as i can every time i ride a train because it’s better to be laughed at than harassed.
it’s not that i know how to clean, it’s that my brother’s chores were outside where i wanted to be, and mine were inside. it’s that i would have weeded the garden better than he did if they had just let me. it’s that i am put in charge of fixing other’s messes, expected to comply without complaint.
it’s not that i can’t open the jar. it’s that you ask my brother first every time. it’s that i am pushed into docile positions, trained to believe that my body when it’s strong and healthy is ugly, trained into being less, weaker. it’s that the jar is also science, is also engineering, is also every job, every opportunity. it’s that you laugh faster when he tells a joke, that you take him seriously but wave off me, that when he raises his voice he’s assertive but when i do i’m hysterical. the jar is getting into a car with a stranger as a driver and wondering if this is our last ride. the jar is knowing that if something happens to us, it’s our fault.
it’s that i’m weak and i don’t know if it’s because i just am or i was trained to be. it’s that we need to sit pretty with our pretty smiles and our pretty words trapped pretty and silent in our throats, our hands restless but pretty when idle, our bodies vessels for nothing but a future white dress. it’s that we are taught someone else needs to open the jar for us.
here’s the secret: run metal lids under hot water, they’ll expand faster than the glass they’re around. here’s the secret: when you keep us under hot water, we do more than boil. we expand over our edges. and we learn how to open our mouths, our claws, our screams hanging in kites over cities. just give me a chance. give me a chance when i am four when i am seven when i am twenty-three. i promise i can be amazing. give me the jar. i’ll show you something.
Yes
funny how people who are “brutally honest” never use it as an opportunity to compliment someone
me, fucking obliterating some punk with love and support: hey im just, gonna be completely honest with you, just my Onion but…. youre a fantastic human being and i love you with my entire heart, no offense.
“sorry im just feeling weird today” little do they know i have been feeling weird since 2006
