my other fandoms are currently/soon getting more content (also me just being obsessed) and, in order to not make this blog as messy as my likes section is, i decided to finally create side-blogs for them!
this blog will remain exclusively tomarrymort/hp
i make this post not expecting anyone to follow me there, but to find people who share any of these fandoms with me! i probably will also be making art for them if anyone wants to see that as well 💕
Gilderoy Lockhart Thirsty Tweets: A Cultys Companion Piece
Summary:
The man who has given us so many beautiful, heartfelt love stories is now sharing YOUR love for him! Our gallant Gilderoy reads your Thirsty Tweets and reminisces over his New York Times best-selling classics such as 'Dancing with the Dragon Duchess' and teases his upcoming autobiography, 'Magical Me'.
Once upon a time, there was a boy who lived a wonderfully ordinary life. Growing up, he had two living, breathing parents and a godfather who possessed the marvellous ability to turn into a large dog—one that doubled quite nicely as an imaginary horse whenever the young boy wished to play the prince who loved to ride his mighty steed. Life was good, and life was easy.
There weren’t many Dark Lords around—the number could be rounded down to zero, in fact—but the boy had always dreamed of becoming an Auror. He dreamed of donning the scarlet, cloak-like uniform that would billow in the wind as he swooped in to save innocent lives like the princes from the bedtime stories.
And so, he became one.
--
Unfortunately, the job itself was not quite what the pamphlets at the Hogwarts Career Day had promised. Due to the lack of Dark Lords, the work was dull and dreary most of the time—mainly small-time criminals and false alarms—and even the cloak rather sucked. He was always accidentally sitting on it, and whenever he tried to adjust his position, the fabric would catch and attempt to strangle him.
Had it succeeded, it would have been the most lethal case the office had seen in months.
But it wouldn’t have been the most peculiar one, because one day, Head Auror Robards had something far stranger to present.
“There’s a new case for you, Potter,” he said.
Auror Harry Potter adjusted his round glasses, yanked his stupid cloak from under his arse, and took the pile of parchment to read through the brief.
“A princess? What princess?” he asked sceptically after reading the first paragraph, which described a massive hedge of thorns surrounding an old castle that apparently held a young, beautiful princess hostage.
“The Princess of Wiltshire.”
“There’s no Princess of Wiltshire,” Harry argued, glancing around for the colleagues he assumed were waiting to burst out laughing at him. Surely, it was a prank. “Wiltshire isn’t a kingdom! It’s not even a country!”
But nobody laughed.
“Of course there’s a Princess of Wiltshire,” Robards replied, looking at Harry as though it were he who was wasting precious taxpayer Galleons on ridiculous notions.
Then again, Harry didn’t know much about royal families. Was there a wizarding royalty in Britain that he had somehow missed? History of Magic had never been his favourite subject, and the school curriculum didn’t exactly place much value on passing down useful information about contemporary culture or politics. Or anything one could use in real life, really.
“But it says here that it’s a curse,” Harry pointed out, pursing his lips. “I’m not a Curse-Breaker.”
“Your job is to rescue the princess, Potter, not to break the curse.”
Can’t the MLEPs do it? was Harry’s next thought, but the Head Auror’s face was already beginning to redden the way it usually did just before he exploded. Harry gave a swift nod and hurried back to his desk, clutching the most ridiculous brief he had ever encountered during his four years at the Auror Office.
--
Aurors rarely worked alone, but Harry hadn’t been assigned a new partner after his last one chose to abruptly retire after a mere four and a half months of service. Reckless and difficult to work with, the reports had allegedly stated.
Harry didn’t agree. His methods were perfectly fine, as long as everything went well. The results were always fine, even when things went a bit sideways. His success rate sat comfortably over ninety-eight per cent—nearly twenty per cent higher than the next best pair of Aurors. He was a far too valuable asset to lose, so when Harry had pleaded to return to the field alone, the Head Auror had begrudgingly agreed.
Now that Harry stood in front of the two-hundred-foot wall of thorns, he kind of wished he had someone with him—if only to tell him that attempting to climb it would be fucking stupid.
"We are one week out from rehearsals and two weeks out from Doomsday," Ron said, stabbing his finger at the large projector screen where the word 'Doomsday, May 31st' was written in angry red letters. "Today's meeting will cover strategy, snacks, and self-defense."
I told you, I’m not buying a condo in this ship, but I brought back a souvenir from my trip.
Man, this ship is WILD. You’ve got everything from young Tom Riddle to double-penised Voldemort. I’ve read some of the most-fucked up things from this end of the fandom. Y’all are unashamedly monstrous. It’s been refreshing! I do think it’s hilarious that so many fics find a way to make Voldemort into a Tom Riddle/Voldemort hybrid just to, at least, give him hair and a nose.
Anyway, below the cut is hairless and noseless Voldemort. If you care.
“What did your note say?” Lily demanded. “It was burned to death, I couldn’t make out a word of it! And then your bird attacked me!”
Dumbledore said, “It said that Fawkes was to transport you to my office immediately.”
“That doesn’t make any sense,” Lily protested.
Dumbledore spread his palms out. “Yet here you are.”
There should have been some reasonable response to give to this, but Lily could not think of one, so instead she asked, “Why?”
The Headmaster of Hogwarts steepled his fingers and gazed at her down the long line of his crooked nose. “Perhaps, Miss Evans, this was where you were always meant to be.”
“That…” Lily paused. “What?”
Dumbledore nodded. “I would like to invite you to join the war effort.”
Ah, this made more sense.
A/N: This is a very short update, but there is a reason for that:
I am inviting you to my war effort aka join my discord server where I am hosting a reread of this story, with bonus commentary from me, and an open invitation for you, my devoted little Constance the goat enjoyers, to suggest more ideas for future chaos.
New chapters will be posted by the end of this reread, that is a guarantee!
With YOUR 🫵🏼 Help, We CAN Revive This Story in 2026 👏🏼
PSYCHOTIC FANGIRL TRIES TO STEAL MY FUTURE HUSBAND HARRY POTTER 🤬 👊🏼 🔫 | Storytime
by @chiocchi + @duplicitywrites
Tags: Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Toy Store, Shopping, Young Tom Riddle, Cute Tom Riddle, Possessive Tom Riddle, Crack Treated Seriously, Love at First Sight, Digital Art, Weeb Tom is back and more kawaii than ever 🎀
Summary:
When young Tom visits the toy shop to buy up all the best most expensive toys using his father's credit card, he doesn't expect to fall in love.
A/N: prequel (can be read standalone) to the award winning fanfic MY HARRY POTTER PILLOW CAME TO LIFE AND I FUCKED IT 🍆💦 | Storytime, with super kawaii art from @chiocchi 💛
Inspired by MY HARRY POTTER PILLOW CAME TO LIFE AND I FUCKED IT 🍆💦 | Storytime by @duplicitywrites, @cindle-writes & @moontearpensfic where Harry is an anime character that Tom loves a lot 🥰
