I just watched Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker. Here are my thoughts
Well, readers. I’ve returned just in time for the new year with a review. Nothing sparks the creative juices like watching a film that both confused and entertained in equal measure.
So Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker. Let’s talk about that. I had recently seen the second Jumanji film and was still in the frame of mind to handle yet another action/adventure instalment. It’s how I ended up back at the cinema and where the one millioneth Star Wars film comes in.
As you’ve probably already guessed, i’m not a huge Star Wars nerd but i’m happy to watch another film in the series so without further ado, let’s get into it:
The Beginning
I won’t lie. It was a SLOW start in terms of reacquainting myself with the characters. There was a lot of deliberate exposition and it took a good 20 minutes for us to get things moving. I was so bored. Come on, Director/Scriptwriter(s), we know these people, they were in the last film doing similar resistance shit. I’m not that stupid.
All the action
I think I know where all the budget went for this film: special effects. So many explosions, so much lightning, all that fire; it's a fanfare of lights and noise that would exacerbate anyone’s epilepsy.
Also, whoever choreographed the fighting and lightsabre scenes did a top notch job.
The uncertainty
Like any film fan, i appreciate surprises. However, it was about 45 minutes in when i realised that i had no idea where the story was going. Rey and the gang needed to retrieve some mysterious puzzle/map thing from a desert. Then it turns out that they’re meant to be elsewhere; somehow Kylo Ren is communicating with Ren telepathically, he’s got problems, she’s got problems, she needs to go and do a thing on some hard-to-find planet alone and i… just… don’t know how we got to the end. How did it happen? Do you know, reader? Please, if you do, fill me in.
How the majority of the bad guys were English
LOVE. IT. Nothing pleases me more than the Americans equating my accent with one of pure evil. Any actor who could speak in a voice that sounded like it had been cut with glass was hired for the Dark Side.
The similarities between the actors
For my boyfriend anyway. He thought Richard E Grant was Christopher Walken. The latter isn’t even IN this film. I still can’t stop laughing about that.
I mean:
They look nothing alike!
So not so much a criticism as an amusing sidebar.
The unresolved questions
So, while most of the script seemed to fit together ok. I would have liked it more if Finn shared with us what he wanted to tell Rey because WE NEVER FOUND OUT.
‘What did you want to tell her?’
‘Are we still on that’ replied Finn.
‘YES, WE ARE’ scream the audience in unison. Why bring it up if you aren’t going to share with the group?
The final kiss scene was also weird. Was it obvious to everyone else that Rey and Ben/Kylo Ren liked each other? Did i miss that? I got more of a sibling/brotherly/sisterly vibe. Again, help me out.
Clearly no-one on the Star Destroyer had ever been on holiday
Let’s unpick the wooden necklace scene shall we. Have you ever been on vacation to Greece, Spain or elsewhere on the continent? If so, you will know that wooden trinkets are commonplace. It seemed like such a stretch that Kylo Ren could work out where Rey was because of a necklace. However, this was resolved when the First Order generals revealed that they had a ‘wood expert’ on board their ship. Good use of resources everyone. Fantastic.
A real twist would have been if a bunch of storm troopers showed up in Malaga, guns in hand to take down hoards of overly-bronzed tourists.
Emperor Palpatine
The bad man from the first set of films is back. You remember him, he kind-of mentored Darth Vader. Anyway, he’s returned and his reasons for being in this film are ludicrous. He has a load of cables plugged into him (again, no idea why) and he seems pretty frail.
While Emperor Palpatine is mansplaining the plot to Rey, i wanted to yell ‘bitch, just unplug him’. But no, we had to hear why he’s still hanging around.
In conclusion, i actually enjoyed this film. I know! You’d think after all of the above commentary that i’d hate it but I don't. Why? Because i’m just a fickle cinema-goer who takes an action film at face value. It kept me entertained, there was some comedy, I appreciated the diversity and am thoroughly thankful that this is the last we see of the resistance. For now.












