As a person who suffers from both NPD and AsPD, anger is one of my main emotions and I suffer from it severely and very frequently. The smallest of things can set me off and provoke my brain to abandon 90% of its logical thought and enter primal mode. I feel like an aggressive, instinctual animal when this anger hijack takes over and it can be extremely difficult to control myself. Anger is the 1# driving force and catalyst toward criminal and harmful behavior for narcs but especially antisocials. Anger goes hand in hand with our commorbid impulsivity and lack of morals/empathy which can lead to these such harmful actions. This anger not only puts people like you and I in jeopardy of consequences, but is extremely distressing and painful for us. To be extremely angry is extremely distressing, absolutely it is. The constant stress generates mass and frequent doses of adrenaline and cortisol to be released inside of our heads. It’s no joke or dramatization when I tell you this, but—chronic extreme anger can lead to severe physical health conditions sooner or later in life such as: severe damage to cardiovascular health, increased risk of heart attacks, increased risk of stroke, and long-term hypertension.
I’ve seen this specific subset of anger and aggression referred to online as both “sociopathic/psychopathic rage”, and, although more commonly, “narcissistic rage”.
Personally, some examples of a situation or occurrence that are very very likely to (99.9%) provoke my “narcissistic rage” are as follows:
•real or perceived slights- physical slights, verbal slights, slights in the form of a gesture. In essence, if I were to perceive that either a stranger or someone I personally know (this applies to all examples) had hidden a personal attack in an otherwise innocuous statement, question, comment or action- it would very well send me into a blind rage.
•promises being broken- I, as well as many other cluster b’s completely hate being/feeling lied to or manipulated. It feels like yet another instability to be betrayed by, which leads to…
•betrayal- no matter how slight, no matter by who. This one’s pretty much self explanatory.
•malicious audacity- most of the time, this is the only principle of an attack or insult to provoke one hundred percent of my anger. E.g. someone could insult my hair or clothes or any other subject that I otherwise wouldn’t care about, had it not been for the fact that the individual possessed the audacity to begin with. I don’t care much if at all about the personal options of others, but I do despise the audacity that it would take to voice them in such a way.
•malicious patheticism- such as, if I were to find out that a friend of a friend had been talking shit about me behind my back and not to my face. This especially pisses me off because of the cowardice; if you can’t say it to my face, you have no right to say it at all. Even more so, (here’s another example) if that same friend of a friend had spoke nasty about me to a direct friend of mine, and I had learned that my friend had passively agreed with the offender for validation instead of defending me. Which also ties in with the betrayal aspect.
•unfairness- and feeling helpless to the unfairness. this one is also self explanatory. Narcissists and antisocials tend to have a very strong sense of justice, especially in regard to themselves. Any feelings of mistreatment are severely unwelcome and subsequently unappreciated.
•feeling helpless in general- anger is a secondary emotion, which means that there must be another emotion to come before it in order to provoke it. Most commonly, defensiveness. We feel threatened 10x more than the neurotypical which leads to helplessness, which then leads to extreme feelings of anger.
•authority, or the concept of it- we don’t like being controlled, dictated, or told what to do. This can feel very unsettling as most if not all of us have been heavily traumatized as a result of putting our control in the hands of others at a young age. Authority as a concept is seen simply as an invasive species of danger that threatens us.
•imaginary thoughts of mine- this one probably is as crazy and as silly as it sounds. Nonexistent scenarios of insults or attacks or unfair, helpless situations that will themselves into my mind make me extremely angry. I classify these as obsessive compulsive intrusive thoughts, as I am always on edge about protecting myself.
•human ignorance- I’ll tell you there is nothing that boils my blood more than human ignorance. To a certain extent, all forms of ignorance are willful, though always preventable. Ignorance is the leading cause of all harmful decisions.
I hope that hearing my personal struggles on the topic of severe anger on behalf of my disordered personality may come as a comfort to any and all who can relate. If you do, I’m very sorry that you have to endure these such symptoms. I will tell you this- this current feeling will pass. Focus on breathing and occupying yourself to keep your overdriven mind distracted and active instead of stewing in the anger, because in my experience, rumination only makes it worse.
(((If you must— I only endorse legal actions of revenge out of risk of arrest and or other consequences. If you feel you absolutely must cuss an offending man or woman out, I strongly advise you do so, although without threatening severe bodily harm to your opponent. Choose these actions carefully, as you should. It is important to establish that you are not to be walked over whilst tactfully avoiding jail time. Hey, only joking, of course! ☺️)))
As always, this has been bisexualnarcissistcunt, and thank you for taking the time to read this blog.