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@theheadcanonperson
Sins he committed, that much is true. Yet now he looks around at what he has not destroyed, but created; a family.
The Shadow of Mourning and The Twin Sons who never were and yet still are, together at last under the blinding sacrifice of the Failure who Redeemed.
Destroyer, Creator, Corruptor, Saviour, Killer, Father.
Hunhow.
YES! DEATH TO THE CLANKERS!
Mini Headcanon:
Loid and The Lotus married for Space Tax Benefits. A very platonic space marriage between Space Mom and Gay Space Uncle.
Operator: Otak I can't let you tell the Entrati's about Loid, The Cavia, and everything in the basement... Including the existence of the Basement!
Otak: but Chip, not telling the family everything I see goes against my moral compass!
Drifter, tired after stopping Operator from biting Roathe's shins: Otak... We both know your moral compass is a roulette wheel that only says 'snitch'.
Operator, with suspiciously bloody lips: just like mine is a poster of Ordis saying "Do it, Scaredy Kavat. I dare you."
Drifter, sighing because they now have to bandage Roathe again: and like mine, who is Kahl, who tells me to shoot my problems. Until they aren't problems.
Otak: I don't understand what you are referencing but YAY MORALS FOR THE WIIIIIIN!
Fun fact: I don't know Joan of Arc's last name so it is entirely possible that she was a Joestar, in this essay I will-
Dear Q... If someone were to stick me in a room with Captain Kirk, Commander Riker, and a very large bed... Hoo boy SOMEONE is gonna have to pay that Child support, and it ain't gonna be me...
One Piece Headcanons (bc I just moved house and am feeling entirely too jittery for sleep, also because shut up.):
- Luffy doesn't believe in veganism, if someone in his vicinity isn't eating at least one form of meat he will flip every table in his line of sight.
- Zoro doesn't understand the difference between a Mace and a Tetsubo, mostly because the last time he witnessed both in action he was slammed halfway across an island and through six mountains.
- Nami is a closeted bisexual, anytime anyone mentions both Luffy and Vivi in the same sentence she collapses to the ground and begins hallucinating.
- Usopp turned Chopper into an alcoholic after the fiftieth time his nose was broken... In a month. Chopper also attends AAA (Anime Alcoholics Anonymous) meetings with Makarov Dreyar, Kaname Ohgi, Euphemia Li Britannia and several other poor souls.
- Robin is a Masochist if the worst kind, she's a pain junkie. Franky, Usopp, Nami, and Chopper have all had to physically stop her from commandeering the Thousand Sunny to go back to Little Garden in an attempt to get bitten by a Kestia.
- Franky has a caffeine addiction that isn't helped by the ship-spirit of the Sunny constantly whispering in his ear to go drink another Cola.
- Vivi got a tramp stamp of Luffy's Gear 4 silhouette when she saw his bounty, she proudly admits it whenever someone asks if she has any tattoo's.
- Sanji is completely colour blind, the only way that he can tell if an item has been cooked enough is when he can see that it's a different shade of slate grey.
- Luffy has learned to differentiate various kinds of Poisons and Venoms so he can eat the entirety of whatever he catches and not waste a single scrap or leftover.
- Brook has the same reoccurring nightmare everytime he goes to sleep where he's in a unisex bathhouse, surrounded by a bunch of pretty 'women' and when they all stand up, he finds out they're all femboys and traps.
- Carrot has a kissing fetish.
- Luffy once caused a space-time event when he drop-kicked a large rock wall and was teleported into the Death Dimension. (if you know, your a legend. If not, search up None Piece on YouTube, it's great.)
- Usopp has an unnaturally small tongue, immediately upon realising this all females with a 150 mile radius of Usopp unconsciously turned their noses up at his direction to convey their disinterest in him.
- Zoro does in fact have a fetish for long and pointy things, he is also a sadist. He and Robin have a platonic demi-sexual relationship in which Zoro turns her into a bloody, panting mess with a razor blade and she gives him new instruments of torture.
- Nami writes yaoi poetry in her free time.
- Luffy reads Nami's yaoi poetry and gives her the best constructive criticism an aro-ace monkey boi can muster.
- Brook and Usopp jump overboard anytime they see Nami with a Notebook, pen, and deep thinking expression.
- Yamato has done unspeakable things to Luffy's cardigan.
- Franky and Usopp had a 'Canon measuring contest'... Nami won...
- Portgas D. Ace's spirit haunts the Thousand Sunny, the spirit of the Thousand Sunny has tea with him every weekend.
- Luffy once found Gol D. Roger's sword, Ace, on a random Island in South Blue. He never realised it was Roger's Sword and shortly after forgot all about it.
- Nami once got drunk with Zoro and Chopper and got her tongue pierced twice.
- Robin eats raw pufferfish for fun.
- Franky regularly suplexes random aquatic wildlife.
- hidden in Nami's tangerine Grove aboard the Thousand Sunny is an extensive P0rn collection that would make even Doflammingo shudder in embarrassment.
- the only member of the Straw Hats who doesn't have (or had) at least 1 tattoo is Usopp because he fainted the second he saw the artist pull out a needle the size of a small dog (which both Zoro and Robin stared at lovingly).
- Luffy has exactly one lusty desire in his monkey brain: Nami, Robin, Vivi, Yamato, and Carrot in bikinis made entirely of steaks.
(There, done. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go spear fishing in the woods in a bikini.)
(reblogged cuz my phone Internet cut out while tagging and it did fucky stuff)
One Piece Headcanons (bc I just moved house and am feeling entirely too jittery for sleep, also because shut up.):
- Luffy doesn't believe in veganism, if someone in his vicinity isn't eating at least one form of meat he will flip every table in his line of sight.
- Zoro doesn't understand the difference between a Mace and a Tetsubo, mostly because the last time he witnessed both in action he was slammed halfway across an island and through six mountains.
- Nami is a closeted bisexual, anytime anyone mentions both Luffy and Vivi in the same sentence she collapses to the ground and begins hallucinating.
- Usopp turned Chopper into an alcoholic after the fiftieth time his nose was broken... In a month. Chopper also attends AAA (Anime Alcoholics Anonymous) meetings with Makarov Dreyar, Kaname Ohgi, Euphemia Li Britannia and several other poor souls.
- Robin is a Masochist if the worst kind, she's a pain junkie. Franky, Usopp, Nami, and Chopper have all had to physically stop her from commandeering the Thousand Sunny to go back to Little Garden in an attempt to get bitten by a Kestia.
- Franky has a caffeine addiction that isn't helped by the ship-spirit of the Sunny constantly whispering in his ear to go drink another Cola.
- Vivi got a tramp stamp of Luffy's Gear 4 silhouette when she saw his bounty, she proudly admits it whenever someone asks if she has any tattoo's.
- Sanji is completely colour blind, the only way that he can tell if an item has been cooked enough is when he can see that it's a different shade of slate grey.
- Luffy has learned to differentiate various kinds of Poisons and Venoms so he can eat the entirety of whatever he catches and not waste a single scrap or leftover.
- Brook has the same reoccurring nightmare everytime he goes to sleep where he's in a unisex bathhouse, surrounded by a bunch of pretty 'women' and when they all stand up, he finds out they're all femboys and traps.
- Carrot has a kissing fetish.
- Luffy once caused a space-time event when he drop-kicked a large rock wall and was teleported into the Death Dimension. (if you know, your a legend. If not, search up None Piece on YouTube, it's great.)
- Usopp has an unnaturally small tongue, immediately upon realising this all females with a 150 mile radius of Usopp unconsciously turned their noses up at his direction to convey their disinterest in him.
- Zoro does in fact have a fetish for long and pointy things, he is also a sadist. He and Robin have a platonic demi-sexual relationship in which Zoro turns her into a bloody, panting mess with a razor blade and she gives him new instruments of torture.
- Nami writes yaoi poetry in her free time.
- Luffy reads Nami's yaoi poetry and gives her the best constructive criticism an aro-ace monkey boi can muster.
- Brook and Usopp jump overboard anytime they see Nami with a Notebook, pen, and deep thinking expression.
- Yamato has done unspeakable things to Luffy's cardigan.
- Franky and Usopp had a 'Canon measuring contest'... Nami won...
- Portgas D. Ace's spirit haunts the Thousand Sunny, the spirit of the Thousand Sunny has tea with him every weekend.
- Luffy once found Gol D. Roger's sword, Ace, on a random Island in South Blue. He never realised it was Roger's Sword and shortly after forgot all about it.
- Nami once got drunk with Zoro and Chopper and got her tongue pierced twice.
- Robin eats raw pufferfish for fun.
- Franky regularly suplexes random aquatic wildlife.
- hidden in Nami's tangerine Grove aboard the Thousand Sunny is an extensive P0rn collection that would make even Doflammingo shudder in embarrassment.
- the only member of the Straw Hats who doesn't have (or had) at least 1 tattoo is Usopp because he fainted the second he saw the artist pull out a needle the size of a small dog (which both Zoro and Robin stared at lovingly).
- Luffy has exactly one lusty desire in his monkey brain: Nami, Robin, Vivi, Yamato, and Carrot in bikinis made entirely of steaks.
(There, done. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go spear fishing in the woods in a bikini.)
My favorite thing about Natsu’s fights is that moment when his opponent is like what the fuck is wrong with this guy?
Natsu to the ghost who has been harassing the local All You Can Eat Buffet: "I'M GONNA VOO YOU IN THE DOO YA BOOSTARD!"
The Ghost: "what in the hell are you talking about?!"
Also Natsu who learned Holy Magic for the sole reason of fist-fighting ghosts: "I'LL TEACH YOU TO TALK BACK TO ME!"
Fairy Tail Headcanons: (bc I am bored and suffering from acute insomnia)
- Erza adores board games and will take any opportunity to play a game with anyone in the guild.
- Makarov has an alcohol addiction, that is not helped by Mirajane Force-feeding him beers after he tries smacking her ass.
- Natsu almost drowned after a boat he was travelling on sank and had to be fished out of the Ocean by the combined efforts of Happy, Elfman, and Loke (who was there on a separate job but got sidetracked in a very Fairy Tail like way).
- Lisanna at one point held Bisca and Lucy at knife point during a game of Monopoly, the situation was resolved after a stray thunderbolt from Laxus ignited all of the Monopoly Money and Natsu ate what remained.
- Gray has on more than one occasion come close to death after eating frozen Wild Berries (he's deathly allergic to blueberries).
- Gajeel accidentally started a Gay Bar (thematically named 'The Iron Rod') and has been laundering the profits through Fairy Tail.
- Maccao is a gambling addict.
- The Thunder God Tribe all practice different musical instruments (Evergreen likes punk rock and insisted that learning to play an instrument would be a valuable skill in the future, Freed still has doubts and Bickslow is constantly high).
- Laki and Droy grow weed in their spare time and sell all of their stock to Bickslow.
- Natsu once punched a mountain in half for no reason, the nearby village worships him as a god to this day.
- Erza has unironically run several cafés and coffee shops out of business due to her sheer caffeine intake.
- Happy and Carla are technically married (Carla was hit with an intoxication spell and accidentally signed a marriage form that Happy was practicing Calligraphy with).
- Mystogan has more than once tripped over an unconscious guild member while making his dramatic exit.
- Lucy and Levy are in a Lesbian Polycule with several members of Lamia Scale and Blue Pegasus.
- Gildarts once parted the Ocean like a moses ripoff bc he wanted some foreign cuisine... Only to walk straight back to Magnolia because he got lost after trampling a coral reef.
- Mavis is a voyeur. Yes, that's it. She is.
- Nab does in fact do jobs, the specific kinds of jobs he does vary each day, however, he purposefully leaves behind a Thought Projection to check for new jobs in the area he's in.
- Natsu can cast Holy spells but only uses them so he can fist-fight ghosts.
- Erza is completely immune to hypnosis-type magic due to an incident involving: (ahem) 6 turkeys, a bucket of Mantis Thoraxes, a very angry Vulcan, 200 pounds of Pistachio Ice Cream, and a statue of Natsu and Gray making out made entirely of Lurpack brand Butter.
(There, done. Now, I'm off to go threaten my local witch doctor to sign a prescription for sleeping pills with a rubber chicken.)
I'm going to eat your blog. If you give me an inch, if you let me onto your blog in any way shape or form I will begin to devour it post by post. and after every single post I will say yum, yummy. delicious post
Please consume my Blog. I am plagued by terrible, horrendous thoughts that I must write down.
it's called a "flying buttress" bc it's the 12th century equivalent of a slip-n-slide. sends your butt flying
no you don't understand these are so obviously medieval waterslides are u hearing me
Uh. Gaud. That second has spikes on it.
that's the medieval part
*slaps top of Buttress*
"The ancestors used to ride these babies for mi-"*SHINK*
Me reading all the haters stubbornly lie and make up the shittiest dumb takes about why "rwby is bad and hates women"
RWBY is a show about Combat Lesbians, Twinks becoming Stronk, Furry Racists and Shadow Monsters wanting to consume your Chromasomes.
Little bit of context before the next HC:
1, My primary pokemon team (the one I use when battling regular trainers and Legendaries) consists of: Metagross, Milotic, Galvantula, Rhydon (bc I just don't like the Rhyperior evolution process), Hydreigon and Chandelure.
2, my imagination runs completely hog wild when I'm left to my own devices for too long and I inevitably end up creating a scenario in my head of me and my team of Pokémon walking in a forest or something.
3, I don't care about Stats, Type Advantages/Disadvantages, Competitive Metas or any of the like, I adore Pokémon bc they're Fun and Cute/Handsome.
4, I Like Sleeping, that's all.
Everything clear? Aight. Onto the Headcanons! (or would it be Regular Canons cuz this all goes on in my head?)
My Pokemon Team Headcanons (bc I am wierd and have Zero Filter):
- Darling (Galvantula) Adores Cheri Berries and makes it her mission to find and hoard as many of them as physically possible for her and her many Joltik children (I spent 3 weeks hatching Shiny Joltik's and flooding the wonder trade with them in Gen 5).
- Simon (Rhydon) crushes Coal into Diamonds for absolutely no reason which in-turn has caused Brigand (Hydreigon) to constantly go out and grab random pieces of Coal for Simon bc she (Brigand) has a crush on the Crusher.
- Mira (Chandelure) has a habit of 'Accidentally' breaking into Pokemarts in the middle of the night and taking single packs of 10 Burn Heals.
- Benev (Metagross) and Malev (Milotic) like throwing Tea Party's (even though Benev is a Robot and Malev is allergic to Tea Leaves) and gossiping with all the Wild pokémon they find (read: Kidnap for the day).
- Lelouch (Me, Yes I stole the name; F off) sleeps on top of Benev for most of the Journey between towns and cities bc they never have the energy to walk (before you say anything, Benev likes this and even complains when Lulu stays in a single place for too long).
- Malev (then a Feebas) got their name after chasing Lelouch for Six Months for the sole purpose of slapping Benev and Mira with her Tail Fin.
- Lelouch found Simon on a beach eating sand and taking naps every few hours, Lelouch made Friends with Simon and they took a nap together before Simon just started to tag along.
- Mira almost made Mt. Pyre erupt the last time Lelouch went home bc a Skarmory insulted Malev (that Skarmory was later found by a wandering Ranger, Burnt to a metallic crisp and Traumatised).
- Brigand never gained good Vision after Evolving into a Hydreigon so she has to rely on Benev giving her Directions.
- Darling and Simon are the competitive members of the Team and frequently spar (often times resulting in Simon re-arranging the local Terrain and Darling leaving behind excessive quantities of Electrified Webs).
- Lelouch doesn't enjoy Battling and would much rather (and secretly does) allow Benev to coordinate with the others while They go to sleep standing up with their eyes open.
- Simon Traumatised Sabrina's Alakazam by simply not thinking and just beating the poor fella around the arena, Eyes and Mind completely blank (Lelouch didn't even teach him that, he just did it the second the fight started).
- Mira is afraid of the Dark due to some circumstances involving a Frying Pan, six Eevee's, a moist towel and a Trench Coat (she doesn't like Eevee's much either).
- sometimes Benev stands still for days on end waiting for something to happen (read: a particularly rude Acorn that has somehow been hitting Darling in the Thorax for the last six years).
- Lelouch is one of the few human beings in the Pokémon world to have encountered Kyurem multiple times and even has a cordial rapport with the Incomplete Legendary Pokémon.
- Lelouch is completely unaware that their childhood friend, Gym Leader Flannery, is madly in love with them, both of their Pokémon mentally (and sometimes physically in Simon's case) face-palm during every interaction between the two.
- Darling and Malev are so very gay for each other but neither wants to admit it to Lelouch (they already know and just don't give a sh*t).
- Benev is Lelouch's starter Pokémon (Lulu is Steven Stone's 2nd Cousin) and spent the first year of their Journey as a Beldum because Lelouch didn't want him to Evolve too quickly (the same with Benev's Metang Stage).
- Lelouch found Darling in Vermillion Forest after falling asleep under a particularly large tree and waking up to find themself dangling 43ft in the air with no shirt, Darling made herself known and was acting all angry and stuff before Benev released themself from their ball and proceeded to absolutely Style on Darling before rescuing Lulu, who promptly caught Darling and moved on with their life.
- Lelouch owns a large beach house in Alola and periodically spends a couple months there every few years, during that time they find themselves constantly badgered by Locals wanting Battles or to show off their Pokémon, Lulu hates this.
Done, dusted. Move on. Bye bye.
lelouch on the phone ♡
WHY ARE YOU BUYING CLOTHES AT THE SOUP STORE?!?!
Code Geass Headcanons (because I like the show and anyone who complains can bite my Guren S.E.I.T.E.N Eight Elements's a$$):
- C.C. Loves to dance in the rain but if she hears even the slightest prompt of thunder she seemingly teleports into Lelouch's bed and turns on his heated blanket (bc u f-ing know pretty boi lulu has to have a heated blanket)
- Kallen finds immense satisfaction in beating the BK's firing range top score. Repeatedly.
- Kaguya once snuck into Lelouch's bed only to find six other women attempting the same thing (including Euphie bc she was jealous)
- Lelouch has to restrain Dr Chawla everytime Kallen breaks the Guren's RWS bc she will inevitably end up "accidentally" hitting Tamaki in the temple with a wrench.
- Arthur once caused the Female Population of Ashford Academy to believe Suzaku was plotting a panty raid (the real raider was C.C. But she bribed Arthur with pepperoni)
- Nina has done unspeakable things to just about every piece of furniture in Ashford Academy.
- Lelouch doodles while planning out his various schemes against Britannia.
- Kallen and C.C. Have done unspeakable things to Lelouch's chair in the Student Council Room.
- Milly has a minor obsession with Sloths.
- Suzaku accidentally writes Yaoi Poetry when left to his own devices.
- Lelouch's Shinkiro has the annoying habit of drifting to the left when hovering and no-one is holding the controls.
- Cornellia reads Suzaku's Yaoi Poetry.
- Gino is almost certain that Rivalz is an alien.
- Rivalz thinks that Gino is trying to steal his bike.
- Lelouch once blinded Todo while screaming "TASTE THE SUN A$$HOLE". he was later discovered on the roof by Kaguya frothing at the mouth after Suzaku fly kicked him in the solar plexus.
- Euphie and C.C. Have also done unspeakable things to Lelouch's chair in the Student Council Room.
- Ohgi and Viletta were traumatised after discovering Suzaku's Yaoi Poetry on the Internet.
- Minami once ate an entire family pack of skittles in five minutes. And then promptly fell unconscious and was rushed to the nearest hospital.
- Tamaki convinced the BK that Zero is Autistic.
- C.C. and Dr Chawla have done unspeakable things to Zero's chair on the Ikaruga.
- Suzaku once got drunk and vomited onto one of the Lancelot's energy fillers and that mf started charging.
- Jeremiah's favourite food is roasted Salmon and cheese.
- Charles shat his darwinistic trousers when he died.
- Cornellia has video evidence of everything that C.C. And various other female characters have done to Lelouch's chair.
- Euphie's room is filled with pictures of Lelouch and IKEA sharks.
- Lelouch, C.C. And Milly have done unspeakable things to Milly's Grandfather's desk. (best ship ever, fight me)
- Cornellia has done various unspeakable things to Guilford's chair.
Thank you for coming to my TED talk, now if you'll excuse me I am going to go drown my sorrows in cat photos.
Transformers Armada Headcanons: (yes I know the show has been around longer than I've been alive but I still like it)
-Megatron rolls his treads when he's bored and has nothing to shout about.
-Cyclonus has repeatedly tried to hook on to Demolishor and take him flying (I ship them, don't judge)
-Red Alert constantly has to go looking for the Autobot Minicons as they tend to wander off and get lost until he (or Jetfire who gets just as lost as they do) finds them.
-Blurr is almost always found subtly badgering Hot Shot and Side-Swipe for races.
-Scavenger makes sandcastles in his spare time.
-Starscream likes spending time with Swindle and Tidal Wave (because they're all introverted little cupcakes).
-Prime takes the human kids (and sometimes Hot Shot) to random beaches because he likes the Ocean View.
-Tidal Wave wanders off so much he once accidentally ended up on Venus without realising (Megatron spent three weeks looking for him and delayed seven different plans to attack the Autobots because he was worried about him).
-Red Alert insists on making Optimus have Check-ups because he doesn't know how to take care of himself.
-Smokescreen knows how to make various human drinks because he likes the Human's expressions when he gets a recipe right.
-Thrust dotes on his Minicon, Inferno, like the closet fun uncle he is.
-Optimus Prime practices his generic Leader Poses and Dramatic Speeches everyday day in the mirror.
