sad and grossed out

[taylorswift]

Lover 💕 Friday, August 23. 

Pre-add, pre-save, pre-order: taylorswift.lnk.to/lover

[prideprejudce]

tbh the best way that i explain to other people what it feels like to live with an anxiety disorder is the one time when i had to get a fingerprint and background check done for a job and i, someone who has never received so much as a speeding ticket my whole life, spent thirty minutes panicking that i would fail because i might secretly be a criminal and have no idea 

[prideprejudce]

[prideprejudce]

[tortellinigirl]

men really be like “well this woman has studied this subject her whole life, and i am a man, so we have equal knowledge on this”

[hcrzallerliebst-a-deactivated20]

it’s ok you could have just said “i hate men”

[tortellinigirl]

okay, i hate men

[bananaofswift]

Taylor Swift - “New Year’s Day” Fan Performance

[stability]

do you ever just decide someone is the greatest person ever after having one small positive interaction with them? Like I could have a 3 minute conversation with someone and then someone will be like do you know jessica? and I’ll be like yaaaas my bitch jess I’d die for her meanwhile jessicas probably like who tf is that

[theycantalk]

stay calm

[gluten-free-pussy]

Depression Humour is such an age specific thing like i was walking down the street and narrowly avoided getting hit by a speeding car and a middle aged woman said “You could’ve died just now!” and i said “yeah if only.” and she just stared at me in shock. Like yes i hate being alive but I’m going to get these jokes in before i permanently clock out of my shift

[cwote]

[capacity]

I couldn’t b a lawyer Bc I’m too honest if the other lawyer is making good points id just b like damn u onto something lets work together for truth and justice .

[lovblush]

retweet if you’re GAY, you’re CONCERNED ABOUT THE BEES, or if you WANNA DIE

[sleepin]

[iconic--soul]

Why are Ross and Rachel so iconic when Chandler and Monica’s relationship is 50,000 times more romantic, cuter and HEALTHIER than Ross and Rachel’s?

[mjalti]

my plan is to jog in a zip code where the average house is $1 million dollars. i jog everyday. i run into the trophy wives jogging club. we jog past each other so often, they’re forced to interact with me. we’re friends now. i’m invited places. i meet other millionaires, men who love me. i marry the richest, using an alias. throughout the first year of marriage, i’m moving assets and cash to an off shore bank account. i fake my own death on our anniversary. he’s heartbroken.

i started jogging in a new million dollar neighborhood. i’ve just made friends with the local jogging crew headed by ashtonlynn and brotyna “chichi” who has a single millionaire brother,

[eclipticzero]

Is there any version of this plan where I don’t have to jog

[mjalti]

u only have to jog past the ladies which is like 46 seconds. suck it up for the fraud of it all

[pixie-tot]

why are non-millennials so personally offended by everything? like if i’m still wearing my jacket indoors, it’s because i’m cold, not because i disrespect your home/your classroom !! if somebody has got your order wrong, it’s because they’re very busy and simply made a mistake, not because they’re trying to jeopardise your meal !! if somebodies phone rings during a meeting/lecture, it’s because they accidentally forgot to put it on silent, not because they want to disrupt your speech !! just calm down, sharon, not everything is about you

[thelittlemerms]

my personal favorite is when you yawn and they’re like “am I boring you?”

like bitch i’m running on five hours of sleep and chronic anxiety 

[ohreallywilly]

You halfway through Dinner w/ parents when she says "Daddy can you pass the yams"...

Out of instinct you reach for it the same time her pops do…sooo now her dad looking at you like..

[ohreallywilly]

Meanwhile you looking back like…

[ohreallywilly]

Yo girl sitting there like..

[ohreallywilly]

& Her mom lowkey freak ass sitting there like…

[aceunibomber1906-deactivated201]

Grandma be like

Grandpa be like

[leonegro-davinci]

The dog like

[aceunibomber1906-deactivated201]

The cat like

[ohreallywilly]

The bird like..

[profitjah]

The Uncle under his breath like…..

[aceunibomber1906-deactivated201]

Pastors wife be like

[blackboyjoy]

Ohmygawd 😂

[preciousluv35-deactivated201808]

Love it

[breastman31]

Big brother be like

[arivetingenigma]

I have to reblog this 😂 I just have to!

[hypnotic-flow]

the trees outside the window are like

[405blazeitt]

i hate the trope of kids giving their favorite stuffed animal to a younger child as a sign of compassion and coming of age, as if this is something that should be expected of kids as they grow up

im 22 and i dont care who you are you’ll have to pry my ikea shark out of my cold dead hands

[purelintrash]

i mean

[hamiltonthemusical]

Man, the man is non-stop!