Bianca Solderini @theimmortalcourtesan - Tumblr Blog

anne rice not having amadeo eat bianca out lestat-and-dora-style was a crime and a huge missed opportunity, so i fixed it, u're welcome <3

Full here~

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DO NOT REPOST!!!

nightislands

Possible paintings of Bianca in IWTV and TVL

“[…] now a most great and grotesque quality attached itself to her in my eyes. She was evil as I was evil […] For her life, she dispatched her victims. For my life, I drank human blood. And so this tender girl, in her costly gowns […] took on a dark majesty for me; and I was fascinated by her more than ever before.”

Portrait of a Lady — Bernardino Luini

“Only it could not be true. I could not have such luck. For this boy had beauty as bountiful as Bianca's.”

Adoration of the Sheperds with a Donor — Palma Vecchio

“I painted a large picture of Bianca as the Virgin Mary with a chubby Infant Jesus.”

“[…] we were in our house, where Marius painted her portraits, devising her as this or that goddess, […] or as the Virgin Mary staring rapt at a tiny Christ child, […] Those pictures— perhaps some of them endure to this very day.”

Quotes from Blood and Gold and The Vampire Armand

I identify as a #Mariuswife

#vampire chronicles #blood and gold #bianca solderini #anne rice #marius de romanus #mariuswife

theimmortalcourtesan

His pain was tangible. Bianca hated to dig into other people’s minds without permission. But his thoughts were screaming so loudly that it was hard for her to ignore. The way he slacked his shoulders, the hesitation, a slight aversion to her touch. Bianca sighed with a mixture of frustration and despair. How could she make him see, how could she make him understand that to her, he had not changed at all? Why did he feel so unworthy? It hurt her more than she could say. Without letting go of his hands, she slid off the couch to sit at his feet.

“Angel, look at me.” She said quietly but firmly. “What happened to Riccardo was not your fault. You were taken, driven mad with hunger. It was Santino and his coven who killed your brother. It was Santino and his coven who would have killed you as well if you didn’t adapt to their ways.” She gave his hands a small squeeze. “It was not cruelty on your end. You were not master of your senses. They knew exactly what they did when they put Riccardo in front of you. And…” She paused for a moment to give her words more weight. “I know Riccardo would forgive you. I know he would have wanted you to live at any cost.”

She ran her hand through his hair again. “I knew him well enough. I know how much he loved you. If I had been in his place, I would have given my life as well to make sure you survived. You are not a monster, Amadeo. They are. They inflicted pain and suffering upon you and those you loved the most, fully aware of what they were doing. Painstakingly planned, even. You would never have hurt Riccardo if you had had any sense left in you. A Monster is someone who does something bad, fully aware that it is bad. Even the most docile animal will lash out once backed into a corner, like you were, my love.”

Bianca would never call him anything else but Amadeo or Angel. Because that's what he always was, and always will be to her. Even when he thinks he is darkness personified, to her he is the brightest light in the room. When he lashed out against Marius, she bit her lip with a sigh. She knew it all too well. The anger and hurt. She had given her life for him only to be cast out for Pandora. Travelling to Dresden under false pretences and then overheard how easily he would get rid of her, if only Pandora would allow him back into her life.

It hurt her like nothing else. She was angry, furious even. And so even when he begged and pleaded with her not to leave him, she had packed her belongings and gone away. That was ages ago now; now the agony is just a dull pain in the back of her head. She loved him; she missed him even, but he also never came back looking for her either. “Your pain, even your anger, is not misplaced. I understand it. Oh, I understand it so well. You know you could always come to me with any grievance. You will always find an open ear and open arms with me. You may think I am choosing sides. There are no sides here, Amadeo. You and Marius are a unit to me. Two sides of a coin.”

She shook her head. “I know what it means to be deeply disappointed. Abandoned. But that doesn’t negate the love we had. It doesn’t change that I worry about him and love him still. Maybe one day you will heal enough to see it as well. This takes time. And we have time in abundance, don’t we? I won’t bring him up; you are my priority now. Just… don’t shut me out. Don’t think I’d love you less or Marius more. Don’t think you don’t deserve my affection either, because you deserve all of it. And don’t think you have to pretend you are strong when you feel like falling apart. You have been alone far too long; let me be there for you again.”

chervbino

Maybe the entire situation was making him feel way too overwhelmed. But who would take it all so easily when you notice that you lived with a lie for centuries? The blue room also added to the fact that his mind was still spiraling. Armand knew that he would always love his maker deep down inside. He loved Marius back then. He served this vampire with all his heart, and he wanted nothing more than Marius’ love. Maybe he should’ve just left Venice with Lord Harlech back then. Maybe. His body would’ve long been buried by now.

And once more she called him Angel and Armand almost flinched. He turned his head and looked into her eyes. No word fell from his lips when he studied her pretty face that had not changed throughout all those centuries. It was giving him false security. All of that was pushing him into spheres he never wanted to explore again.

❝It’s nice of you that you try to comfort me. Maybe you are right, maybe he would forgive me. But I wouldn’t blame him if he wouldn’t. It is a burden I must live with.❞ For as long as he decided to keep living. There wasn’t much will left in him. After five centuries of fighting and failure, there wasn’t much worth living anymore. Eventually, Bianca would also go back to Marius or whoever else. Armand was nothing but a small stop in the long run of their existence. One day her anger for Marius would fade, and she would go back. He had seen it with Lestat; he had seen it with Louis.

Deliberately, he took a deep breath even though he didn’t need to do such a thing. It was his way to calm himself before he could do or say something he might regret in the future. He did not want to be a unit with Marius. He didn’t want to be a replacement for someone again. But he didn’t say that. But he couldn’t contain his feeling of sickness in his stomach anymore.

❝You do not have to worry. I feel no such thing. Confusion. Nothing else.❞ Because he learned to lock it all away, and perhaps Armand was getting too tired for feeling something that wasn’t nothingness. ❝But maybe you should consider the words you give me for yourself. You are clearly here and not with him because you still hold a grudge deep down. You have unfinished business with him, and I do not blame you. Why are you not contacting him anymore, Bianca? Why are you here and not talking it out with him when you clearly still love him? I do not wish to tell you what to do, and you are hurt by his actions, I understand. But do you really want to go on like that and ponder about the what-ifs?❞

theimmortalcourtesan

His words stung, both those he said out loud and those he refused to voice. She folded her hands in her lap, looking down at the pallid fingers lacing into each other as if she were readying herself for prayer. "As much as I love him. I will not chase after him. He made it quite clear that his heart and home lie with Pandora. I don't even know if she finally agreed to stay with him after I decided to make way."

She looked up at him again. "Quite like yourself, I figured he would come for me if he wished to have me back in his life. He did not, so I assume he is happy wherever he is. Maybe one day I will find the strength to reach out to him. Maybe one sweet day we all can be together as we were. I keep telling myself that if only I wait long enough, it will happen."

She gave him a sad smile. "I've been restless, Amadeo. No matter how beautiful the world is. No matter how exciting the progress is that humanity made and still is making. None of it excites or inspires me anymore. I look at paintings that used to spark joy. I read books that used to fuel my imagination. But most of it seems hollow. Eternity has soured. Maybe I should have taken a long rest, as so many of us do.” Without much warning, she rose from her position and walked to the window, looking outside, watching passersby and cars vanish into the night.

“When I found you tonight in this park, I thought you were my sign. The sign that my hope was not in vain. I waited long enough, and you returned to me. I was both overjoyed and deadly afraid of this night. Because I didn’t know how you would react. To me and all that had happened or…didn’t happen.” She turned around again with a sigh. “You say you don’t resent me. But I can feel the hurt coming over you you like the morning fog that encompasses the city.”

Bianca shook her head slowly. “There is tension in you when I call you Amadeo. Why? Do you feel like you are no longer him? Why do you judge yourself so harshly when those who knew him best still see him sitting right there in front of them? I love you…Armand, Amadeo… whatever name you chose to give yourself. What's in a name? That which we call a rose. By any other name would smell as sweet.” As the theatre kid he was, he no doubt would recognise that quote.

“I know a lot has happened; both of us might not be who we were once. But the one thing that has never changed is my love for you. And if Amadeo is truly gone, which I do not believe he is, but… even so. Allow me to love Armand instead.”

She stepped closer to him again. “But if I learned one lesson in this very long time. No matter how much you love someone, you can’t make them stay. I couldn’t make Marius stay, and I can’t make you stay if it isn’t something your heart desires. No matter how much I’d want you to. I love you enough to let you go, if that is what you want.” She leaned over and kissed the top of his head gently. “The choice is yours, Armand.”

#chervbino

bite-sized-roman-propaganda

Muse Tagging Game

I haven’t done one of these before, so here are some mildly invasive questions for anyone who feels like joining in. Feel free to answer as your muse as well. Tagging @leliorisen @the-botticelli-vampire @theimmortalcourtesan

Name five films you could rewatch endlessly. Apparently I am incapable of choosing only five, so: A Room with a View, Disney’s Brave, Only Lovers Left Alive, Portrait of a Lady on Fire, Little Women, The Company of Wolves and Crimson Peak. Basically, give me beautiful cinematography, yearning, historical clothing, dangerous women, vampires, Scottish landscapes or a haunted house and I am seated.

What song have you been playing on repeat lately? “Cast the Bronze” by Raynes, “Fado Fado” by ADGY and Éiru, and “Can’t Stop This” by Alex Warren. My music taste is currently somewhere between wistful folklore, emotional damage and aggressively romantic main-character energy.

What completely ordinary thing instantly improves your day? The first proper cup of coffee in the morning, especially when the house is still quiet and no one has asked me a single question yet. Also, unexpectedly good light coming through a window. Photographer brain never switches off.

What does your ideal evening look like? A bottle of wine, a cheeseboard, a true-crime documentary and nowhere I am expected to be. Ideally, I am also wrapped in a blanket while confidently solving the case before the detectives do. Oh and it's raining. But not cold.

Which fictional world would you willingly move into? Ricean vampires. Come on. Immortality, old money, dramatic coats, centuries of art history and absolutely unhinged interpersonal relationships. I would be thriving.

What food could you eat several times a week without getting bored? Tofu, really good grilled steak, chicken salads, sweet potatoes and brown sugar and butter cloud bread. My diet somehow exists at the intersection of gym meal prep, medieval feast and suspiciously indulgent breakfast.

What oddly specific thing are you currently obsessed with? Roman history, Marius de Romanus, high-protein recipes and finding increasingly elaborate ways to explain that these things are all somehow connected.

What time of day do you feel most like yourself? Early morning, with the first cup of coffee, before the emails begin and while the day still feels full of possibility.

theimmortalcourtesan

Ooooh, thank you for the tag, love! Let's seeee... I'd like to see some answers from: @blackstoneangel, @chervbino, @damonic-possession

Name five films you could rewatch endlessly. Not just films, but I also like series quite a lot. For Films: Dangerous Beauty, Nosferatu, The Phantom of the Opera, Wicked I&II For Shows: The Borgias, The Medicis, The Tudors, Bridgerton

What song have you been playing on repeat lately? A few actually... Unethical - Faouzia, Chains of Love- Charli xcx, Love Story/Dernière Danse - Indila, Birds of a Feather - Billie Eilish

What completely ordinary thing instantly improves your day? Music. When I wake, during the night to fit my mood, and in the morning to wind down.

What does your ideal evening look like? Whatever the activity, I like to do it with my loved ones. A perfect evening can be as mundane as cuddling on the couch and watching a random movie. When I'm alone, I like to read. Currently, I'm reading "Shattered and Returned". A dark academia, Hades and Persephone retelling.

Which fictional world would you willingly move into? I think I'd find a home in the Arthurian Realm. Chivalrous knights, magic and intrigue are my cup of tea.

What food could you eat several times a week without getting bored? Blood. I know it is a rather dull diet, but fulfilling!

What oddly specific thing are you currently obsessed with? Hunting Ghosts. I know it sounds odd. But I enjoy a good ghost hunt, both in the real and virtual world.

What time of day do you feel most like yourself? Right before dawn, when I lie myself to rest. I like to look back on the night and see if I managed to do at least one good thing for another person in my life. Be it by actions or words. And if I manage to tick that list, I can rest peacefully.

#roleplay community

hrim-deactivated20190509

glamourofthegods asked:(Hi! I saw your VC sketches, and I was wondering if you could do one of Bianca, Marius, and Armand? :D Thank you!)

Well here it is, Bianca, Marius and Armand :>

You're allowed to fall apart. I'll hold the pieces until you're ready.

Then let us both shatter, beloved. And together we hold our shards close and puzzle them back together until we are whole again.

#chervbino

theimmortalcourtesan

His words, "No one is waiting for me." It sounded incredibly lonely despite the way he so casually said it. Bianca didn't hesitate; she cupped his face between her hands and looked at him with an earnest expression one might rarely see with her. "I have been waiting for you. I have been missing you for 500 years, my Angel. I don't want you to only stay for a few days to catch up. I don't think I ever want to say goodbye to you again." She leaned in, kissing his forehead.

"We can share a coffin, you can rest in my arms as you did in my swan bed when the nights turned to morning and you simply couldn't keep your eyes open anymore." Those were fond memories, the closeness between them. Endless conversations until he drifted away into a sweet slumber. And she'd hold him, watch him sleep, keeping him close, gently running her hand through his hair.

"I know a lot has happened, my love. The world has changed, and we have changed. Terrible things have happened to both of us. But we can get back what we had. I refuse to have but a blink of time with you before you vanish from my life again. Don’t leave Amadeo…stay with me. Forever.” She let go of his face and reached for his hands. Kissing the back of his hands one after another. When he finally settled next to her, she wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

chervbino

He let Bianca take his face in her gentle hands. Unlike what one might think, Armand let her touch him, and he let her kiss his forehead. Those were just a couple of ministrations, something anyone else would take for granted, everyone but Armand. He’s been so deprived of any kind of loving touch that he would just take whatever he could get. At least for a little while he would be able to shove the loneliness aside. Only a faint little smile seemed to appear on his lips at the offer to sleep in her arms once more like he used to as a mortal. But why was this feeling so wrong now? He couldn’t even reply to that offer because something told him that it was wrong. His mortal self never thought about right and wrong when he crawled into her bed to hide from the world. Bianca’s bed chambers have always been his safe haven.

But now, after all the cruelty he had done to those he loved, Armand was certain that he did not deserve any kindness. Maybe Marius always knew, and that was one of the many reasons why he let Amadeo rot in Paris. Because it wasn’t anything else but that. Shame and grief over what he did to Riccardo would always haunt him and dictate the rest of his existence. He could see the tears swelling in her eyes, but he couldn’t save her from the gruesome truth. Instead, he only lifted one hand and caressed his thumb over her soft cheek.

❝No, I am sorry. I took him away from you too. I never believed the Master when he called our kind monsters. He was never a monster to me. But when I did what I did to my poor innocent Riccardo, I understood. We are monsters. In one way or the other. Are monsters allowed to be loved?❞

He didn’t want to smile, but he heard from Bianca what she ultimately felt toward him. No, not him, Amadeo. Mortal, young, innocent Amadeo. And when she called him Angel again, Armand had to lower his hand, thinking about how he told Marius to paint him with black wings because he never felt like an innocent angel. But how could she still not see it? Armand tried so hard to be respectful here. He tried hard not to make Marius as much of a topic as possible. Not even an hour ago, he heard that his Maker abandoned him. Not even an hour ago, he heard that the man he thought dead was still very much alive and just unbothered by Armand’s longing. How could she still take his side? How could she still justify it all? Was her love for him that great? How could she claim that she loved Amadeo so much when at the same time she defended Marius with all she had? Oh, he tried so hard not to lash out. He tried so hard to do what Armand was best at. Hiding it all behind a wall of indifference was easier than facing all the pain and disappointment.

❝He had not even the mercy in him to kill me. Is that love? I respect your love for him, my dearest Bianca. And it is only my respect for you that holds me back from saying hurtful things. If he and I ever happen to face each other, I will face him with the respect a Maker deserves, but I will never forgive him. I will never let him close to me again. I abhor him. I fear him. Perhaps, I fear that I could love him again, and loving him, I would come to need him, and needing him, I would come to learn from him, and learning from him, I would be again his faithful pupil in all things.❞

He shook his head a bit, pulled his hands away, and moved away to put distance between himself and Bianca. ❝I respect the love you hold for him. But I ask you to respect me as well. I will not ask you to choose him or me.❞ Not out of pure kindness, but because Armand knew that he wouldn’t win as he never won. ❝I don’t want to hurt you, so please don’t push me to it. You are a good soul, Bianca, and I wish I could see the good in everything just like you. But I can’t. Not anymore. Forgive me.❞

theimmortalcourtesan

His pain was tangible. Bianca hated to dig into other people’s minds without permission. But his thoughts were screaming so loudly that it was hard for her to ignore. The way he slacked his shoulders, the hesitation, a slight aversion to her touch. Bianca sighed with a mixture of frustration and despair. How could she make him see, how could she make him understand that to her, he had not changed at all? Why did he feel so unworthy? It hurt her more than she could say. Without letting go of his hands, she slid off the couch to sit at his feet.

“Angel, look at me.” She said quietly but firmly. “What happened to Riccardo was not your fault. You were taken, driven mad with hunger. It was Santino and his coven who killed your brother. It was Santino and his coven who would have killed you as well if you didn’t adapt to their ways.” She gave his hands a small squeeze. “It was not cruelty on your end. You were not master of your senses. They knew exactly what they did when they put Riccardo in front of you. And…” She paused for a moment to give her words more weight. “I know Riccardo would forgive you. I know he would have wanted you to live at any cost.”

She ran her hand through his hair again. “I knew him well enough. I know how much he loved you. If I had been in his place, I would have given my life as well to make sure you survived. You are not a monster, Amadeo. They are. They inflicted pain and suffering upon you and those you loved the most, fully aware of what they were doing. Painstakingly planned, even. You would never have hurt Riccardo if you had had any sense left in you. A Monster is someone who does something bad, fully aware that it is bad. Even the most docile animal will lash out once backed into a corner, like you were, my love.”

Bianca would never call him anything else but Amadeo or Angel. Because that's what he always was, and always will be to her. Even when he thinks he is darkness personified, to her he is the brightest light in the room. When he lashed out against Marius, she bit her lip with a sigh. She knew it all too well. The anger and hurt. She had given her life for him only to be cast out for Pandora. Travelling to Dresden under false pretences and then overheard how easily he would get rid of her, if only Pandora would allow him back into her life.

It hurt her like nothing else. She was angry, furious even. And so even when he begged and pleaded with her not to leave him, she had packed her belongings and gone away. That was ages ago now; now the agony is just a dull pain in the back of her head. She loved him; she missed him even, but he also never came back looking for her either. “Your pain, even your anger, is not misplaced. I understand it. Oh, I understand it so well. You know you could always come to me with any grievance. You will always find an open ear and open arms with me. You may think I am choosing sides. There are no sides here, Amadeo. You and Marius are a unit to me. Two sides of a coin.”

She shook her head. “I know what it means to be deeply disappointed. Abandoned. But that doesn’t negate the love we had. It doesn’t change that I worry about him and love him still. Maybe one day you will heal enough to see it as well. This takes time. And we have time in abundance, don’t we? I won’t bring him up; you are my priority now. Just… don’t shut me out. Don’t think I’d love you less or Marius more. Don’t think you don’t deserve my affection either, because you deserve all of it. And don’t think you have to pretend you are strong when you feel like falling apart. You have been alone far too long; let me be there for you again.”

#chervbino

criticallyavamp

I have committed a crime

bloodhymnal

these two have ruined my brain

theimmortalcourtesan

Once Bianca had closed the door with a heavy thud, she locked it…somehow, even hundreds of years later, she was still on edge about intruders. Not like their kind could truly be kept away by thick wood or heavy locks, but it gave her a strange sense of comfort nonetheless.

His compliment lit up her face as she turned to look at him. “Do you like it?” She looked around the foyer with its marble floors and staircases. It was elegant and luxurious without being too loud or distasteful.

“I didn’t change much when it comes to the interior. I usually don't stay too long in any place. Nothing felt like home in a very long time. I have rented a house and an apartment there. But for our standards, I never stay too long. A few years perhaps.” She offered her hand to him, and if he accepted, she gave him a guided tour.

From the green velvet-clad living room with a giant fireplace that dominated the room. To her writing room…or office as people called it now. Everything looked immaculate but somehow also barely lived in. Like a showroom. Not a home.

“If you want to stay, I have a guest room.” She pushed the door open to a bedroom kept in shades of soothing blues. “Unless you are needed and…missed…elsewhere?” It was a careful attempt to see and understand his current situation. Maybe he had a new attachment, a new coven, perhaps.

Or a companion who waited for him. Somehow, she had just assumed that he was as lonely as she was. “Maybe for a few days at least?” She allowed herself to hope, something she had to learn was usually incredibly dangerous.

“My room is…right next door. The problem is I only have one coffin at the moment.” She walked over to her bedroom, which, to probably no one’s surprise, was decked out in deep crimson. A sleek black paulownia wood coffin sat in the center of it, decorated with gold inlays. She walked in sitting down on it while looking at him.

To her, it was all the same if they sat in the living room or here. In fact, they had their most intimate talks in her bedroom, which felt weirdly familiar. “And to your question… I adapt…somehow. I have been traveling. Italy, Greece, Spain, India, and now America. Constantly in search of a place to stay. A new home. I’ve been reading newspapers, watching TV, and I even bought one of these computers.”

She chuckled. “Times are changing so fast; everything develops so quickly. Would you have ever dreamed that humans would be flying through the air at some point? Go to space! I cried when I saw the first images of our planet. To know that Galilei was right all along! And to think he had been condemned for it.” She sighed, reaching out a hand for him to join her. “It was exciting, but I had no one to share this excitement with. What about you? Do you think you are ready to talk about what happened in Rome…in Paris?”

Bianca had no idea about all the horrors he must have been through. And while she dreaded having him live through all the heartache again, she wanted to be there for him. Now at least. If he was ready. Offering her shoulder to cry, her arms to hold, and her lips to soothe. Something she should have done 500 years ago if fate would have allowed her to be with him.

chervbino

Armand didn’t miss out on the little things, but as so often, he would not comment on it. It wasn’t his place to judge or anything like that. Everyone has their quirks. ❝I like it; it’s a very elegant place. It suits you well.❞ But even without her words, Armand could see that this home was not lived in. And he couldn’t help but wonder why. It was not the right time to ask a delicate question like that. Instead, he wrapped his hand around hers and followed her along.

His eyes took in the surroundings while she gave him a tour. He did have a penthouse right now, but it was the polar opposite: clean, modern, and with dark furniture.

The door to the guest room. Something in his stomach twisted and turned when he saw the shades of blue. Amadeo’s colours. Something that was forced on him back in the days by his Master. Amadeo never questioned it; he never allowed himself to have strong feelings about it. But the more time passed, the more he distanced himself from certain colours. Red. Blue. Maybe green will be added to the list as well at some point. However, throughout the centuries, Armand learned to hide all kinds of emotions behind a brick wall of indifference.

❝No one is waiting for me,❞ his voice sounded – once again – as if it was spoken from a place far away. As if Armand once more disassociated, which, in a certain way, he did. ❝I would love to stay for a few days to catch up. Do not worry about the coffin; I can rest without it by now.❞ Armand felt a little better when they made it back to the living room, if he was honest.

They settled to sit down together, and once more, Armand fell back into silence. It was a distinctive difference to Amadeo, who liked talking so much. But Armand was a listener. It was refreshing to see her excited over the things mortals achieved. And it even made him smile for a second. ❝I saw those events as well. Fascinating how much mortals have achieved over the centuries and how much easier life is now. Modern medicine can heal so much that people during our time died of.❞ Maybe his poisoning could’ve been healed back then. Maybe not. An interesting thought. But Bianca was right; he owed her the story that was left untold for so many years.

❝I was pushed into the fire too. A little taste of how it feels to burn. I was pulled out, blacked out, and imprisoned in Rome. They didn’t give me blood to the point where I was unable to think. A starving vampire will see nothing. It’s all darkness; primal instincts take over that will make you pounce on anything and everything that has a heartbeat. This is how I killed Riccardo. They threw him into my cell; I drained him. And when my body was sated, I could see again and saw him there. In my arms, emptied of all blood in his body. I slit my wrist and wanted to make him one of us. Too late. It was too late.❞ Armand furrowed his brows, his gaze on his hands as he recalled the events. His voice was steady, but deep inside of him was a turmoil. ❝They starved me again, and the monster in me ripped his body apart. I was too exhausted to fight it any longer, as I knew death was a mercy I wasn’t granted. Paris was loneliness. Leading two covens you do not want, doing a duty you never asked to have. Falling in love with a vampire who does not want you. Ending up in a companionship with another vampire who is too depressed and stricken by grief to love you back. Am I unlovable, Bianca?❞ Armand suddenly asked out of the blue and lifted his head to look at her.

❝You had our Master, who also loved you back enough to be your companion. Where is mine?❞ He shook his head. ❝I know, you loved me, Bianca. But not more than him. And I do not blame you. When I killed Riccardo, it felt like I killed the only person who loved me the most. Is that why I am doomed to live eternity without love?❞

theimmortalcourtesan

His words, "No one is waiting for me." It sounded incredibly lonely despite the way he so casually said it. Bianca didn't hesitate; she cupped his face between her hands and looked at him with an earnest expression one might rarely see with her. "I have been waiting for you. I have been missing you for 500 years, my Angel. I don't want you to only stay for a few days to catch up. I don't think I ever want to say goodbye to you again." She leaned in, kissing his forehead.

"We can share a coffin, you can rest in my arms as you did in my swan bed when the nights turned to morning and you simply couldn't keep your eyes open anymore." Those were fond memories, the closeness between them. Endless conversations until he drifted away into a sweet slumber. And she'd hold him, watch him sleep, keeping him close, gently running her hand through his hair.

"I know a lot has happened, my love. The world has changed, and we have changed. Terrible things have happened to both of us. But we can get back what we had. I refuse to have but a blink of time with you before you vanish from my life again. Don’t leave Amadeo…stay with me. Forever.” She let go of his face and reached for his hands. Kissing the back of his hands one after another. When he finally settled next to her, she wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

#chervbino #sweet amadeo #i'm gonna cry now

theimmortalcourtesan

Not only Amadeo’s hurt, but also his thoughts, albeit unspoken, screamed at her loudly. She could physically feel the resentment for Marius, and although deep down she understood, it hurt her nonetheless. “I know it is painful. Our Maker is far from perfect; I know that as well. But he does love you, my Darling. Don’t doubt that. I think he would never admit to it, but someone his age being almost destroyed? Having you ripped from his arms. It was humbling… devastating even.”

chervbino

Armand was not even sure anymore what he felt. He tried to feel indifferent about his maker and the abandonment, but deep inside it was once again a confirmation that he was not the chosen one. Living a life of not being someone’s number one can destroy you at some point. But he was not angry enough to blame someone else. The last person he could blame was Bianca. Sweet Bianca, who would always defend the Master no matter what. How much he wished to just scream at her to be angry at him, but she could never. Her love for Marius was too great. A love the ancient vampire doesn’t even deserve. What has Marius done to deserve all the devotion?

❝The past is the past. I should abhor him for what he did to all those innocent children. But killing him will not bring him back. He is no part of these cults anymore.❞ Armand hasn’t seen Santino since he left Rome, but vampire gossip was still going strong, and so he heard that Santino and the Roman coven were no longer affiliated.

Carefully, he wrapped his hand around her delicate hand to give it a soft squeeze. ❝Don’t say something like that. You deserve to live. You have always been good to me. And the things you did in your mortal years, you did what you had to do to survive.❞ He wrapped his arms around her to hold her in a gentle hug. Oh, he could be mad at so many people but not Bianca. Never Bianca.

And frankly, it was the first time he thought about Venice again. The first time, he recalled his wrongdoings. ❝The couple of nights I spent with him. They have actually been nice. He looked at me as if I was his world. He read me poems in French and told me about his home in England, where he wanted to take me. But already there he threatened to kill me. I knew when I wanted to leave that I did wrong. And sometimes I wonder, maybe I shouldn’t have tricked myself out of the situation…❞ He shook his head. Now that he got the missing piece of information from Bianca, he understood that the death of mortal Amadeo wouldn’t have changed anything. ❝I figure that it didn’t matter. Santino would’ve attacked with or without me.❞

It made no sense to dwell in the past. And it was nice to sit with someone who could still see the good in him. Home. What a nice word. He didn’t hesitate even though he should. Armand took her delicate hand in his own and got up from the bench. They made it to her place that screamed old money. Seeing it made him smile a little bit to himself. Some things don’t change.

❝You still know how to impress, my dearest.❞ Armand said after they stepped inside. Her home in Venice left a similar impression as this one. ❝You need to tell me how you adapt to modern days? Was it as hard for you as for me?❞