The Insult

The Insult is a webcomic by Scott Marshall. It's not affiliated in any way with the nice, non-litigious people at Charles Atlas Ltd., who have been helping people achieve the dream of physical fitness for over 80 years!

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136: Village Events Calendar

Did you think I forgot about you, Insult comics lovers? Never. I do get busy with other stuff sometimes but I do not forget. I will try to catch back up to the weekly pace I was going at earlier this year. K?

Anyway. There isn’t much of a story behind this one, it’s just a weird idea I had. Sometimes those are the ones I enjoy the most.

If I may be so bold as to plug my various other works, may I remind you that I am also doing a podcast this year and have a number of other projects on the go? You can read about them as well as my appearances coming up on my website, and if you want access to exclusive trinkets (including more installments of this here comic), you can join my Patreon for as low as one lousy dollar a month!

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135: Binge-Watcher

Thanks to my friend Jeff for suggesting this one probably a year and a half ago. Suggestions are always welcome, so hit the Ask button up there if you want to suggest something for Mac to become. I promise not to take a year and a half to do yours.

As for the comic itself, I’m not actually much of a binge watcher myself. Especially with shows that have a lot of interesting visuals; I like to watch an hour of something really engaging every week or so, then digest it for a while. If I’m rewatching something I’ve already seen a few times, like Lost or Clone High, then I might do a few episodes in a row.

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134: Utopian

I’m not completely sure where this one came from, but it did seem strangely appropriate in this time of watching great empires descend into what will hopefully be short-lived periods of turmoil as the last pitiful wails of nationalists pass from their lips. Sweet dreams, haters.

The next new comic will be a Patreon exclusive, so sign up for as low as $1 a month if that seems fair to you. And then the one after that will be back here on good old tumblr, on or about the 18th. See you then.

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Here we go- the first of the Patreon-exclusive comics is up. They’ll get collected eventually in the next book, but if you want to see them sooner, you can get access to them by signing up for my Patreon for as low as $1/month! 

Whatever you decide, the next one will be posted here, and back and forth they’ll go. Thanks for reading.

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132: Sonnet

This was a random idea I had the other night and I decided to sit down and write it right away. It’s not a Shakespearean or Spenserian sonnet, more of a modern one where they’re not so strict about meter, but it is a sonnet nonetheless. I think this is one of my favourites now. I was going to start alternating posts between here and Patreon this week, but I wanted to share this one right away, so next week’s comic will be on Patreon, the one after that will be here, and on and on we will go in a grim embrace until the day of our death. Or, you know. Until I decide to do something else. Have a good week!

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131: Has-Been

Hi, everyone. My apologies for the confusing posts of my new podcast, Sunday Night in Cinema 3, landing here- bit of a mixup with the connection from the host site to tumblr. I’ll try to make sure it doesn’t happen again, as I realize that you are following this tumblr for The Insult comics, if and when they should appear. And hey, here’s a new one!

As you may have seen if you read my blog or if you have checked out my new Patreon, I am turning 50 this year, and I wanted to mark the occasion by not only reviving some of my favourite old projects, but also trying some new things that I have always wanted to do, like animation, game design, and music. This is on top of the comics, prints, and novel(s) that are already in progress. So, it’s a busy year ahead.

The good news for you, The Insult fan, is that there will be a new Insult comic every week. The slightly less good news is that they won’t all appear here on the site. Some of them will appear exclusively on my Patreon site. I’m not yet sure what the scheduling will be for that, if I will just alternate between posting here and there, but we’ll see. All of the new comics will eventually be collected into a second book of The Insult, so if you want to read them but don’t want to become a patron, that is absolutely fine. You will see them eventually.

If you do want to become a Patron, you can see all the new Insult comics and get early (and sometimes exclusive) access to everything I do this year, plus discounts on everything I make (including the first book of The Insult), for as low as $1 a month. Whatever you do, thanks as always for reading and I hope you have a great 2018. Oh, and as always, I am open to suggestions for subjects for The Insult, so hit that “suggest a comic” link at the top if you have one.

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130: Cartoonist

Well, hi there! It’s been a while! How’s your 2017 been so far? Good I hope.

Who am I kidding? The world is a shitshow right now, and we could all use some laughs, so I have some good news for you, the die-hard fan of The Insult who still follows this tumblr:

1) No hard commitments in terms of time or frequency, but I absolutely want to do some new installments later this year. 

2) In the meantime, you can order The Insult book! It collects all 130 of the original comics from 2016 (the last of which was the mini-comic I used to distribute at conventions, reproduced above for posterity), plus a new introduction by me, plus a handy alphabetical index of all the things that Mac turns into. The comics are in glorious black and white in order to keep the cost of the book at a very reasonable $9.99 US.

I should also mention that if you are in Atlantic Canada, you can save yourself some postage by visiting me at the East Coast Comics Expo this weekend in Moncton, NB. I should have copies of the book, some new prints, and whatever else I can manage to put together by then. I also hope to appear at a couple of other shows this year, and I will keep you posted as those plans are finalized.

In any case, thank you as always for your support and if you wind up getting the book, I hope you enjoy it - I really enjoyed making it and am looking forward to doing more this year.

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129: Personal Assistant

It’s probably been a few years since I last saw The Devil Wears Prada, but I suspect it is still pretty relevant. Though maybe not in the ways it thinks it is. No one is prizing any Harry Potter manuscripts at this point, I suppose.

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128: Fable

I am told by the Internet that this is more of a proverb than a fable, but whatever. It’s still included in Aesop’s collection. My apologies to Laura Gibbs, the translator whose text has been butchered above, and who probably never expected her work to be repurposed in such a way. I expect she is pouring herself a cup of tea and gathering her things in an Oxbridge office somewhere, dressed warmly in layers before strolling out to teach her senior seminar in Classics. The important thing to take away from this is: if you find yourself in a gambling situation where you are encouraged to stake your clothes, you may want to seek professional help.

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127: Cineaste

Thanks to the rando who suggested this one. Little did he or she know how well it would touch a nerve in my own life, as I have spent the last 25 or so years watching nearly every movie I can, writing about many of them, thinking about them, and so on. I do try not to be a snob about it - I am aggravated by the weird, self-imposed class conflicts of those who love great cinema versus those who only love blockbusters - but if I had to choose what to watch for the rest of my life, great cinema would win. 

Fortunately, I don’t have to choose, and the definition of great cinema is always evolving, as it should. The only things I hate in cinema (or music, or literature, or comics, or anything) is stuff like pandering or attempting to manipulate the audience. And as much as I can intellectually appreciate a lot of great films, the ones I tend to remember and cherish the most are the ones that involved a memorable experience overall, like when I drove an hour to see Princess Mononoke on a big screen, or when I slogged through a snowy night to watch Marc Forster’s Stay in a nearly empty old movie house, which has since been demolished. I have a brick from that theatre behind me on a shelf.

Anyway. Movies are great. :) Have a good weekend.

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126: Focus Group

The dark arts of marketing are mysterious indeed. Consumer behaviour is far more predictable and directable than we like to think - except when it is not, of course.

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125: Construction Worker

Someday soon, people will vaguely remember the plague of clowns that terrorized innocent people around the United States, led by their orange king who has sexually harassed women for decades. This past week, his apologists shrugged off the latest allegations by claiming it was just “locker room talk” which all men engage in. I’ve been a man for over thirty years, have spent my share of time in locker rooms (and in “manly” environments such as the army and construction sites) and as a result, have been exposed to plenty of gross, sexist talk. I didn’t care for it then, and I don’t now. It wasn’t acceptable then, and it isn’t now.

There is a saying that feminists often quote- that the patriarchy hurts us all. It’s absolutely true. I feel sorry for any man who, because he happens to be working in a blue-collar job, feels pressured to laugh along with sexist or racist horseshit. These divisions that politicians love to exploit are artificial. They want you to stick to your assigned role because large, monolithic groups are easier to steer in the direction they want you to go. Don’t give them that power over you.

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124: Semiotician

Thanks to the rando who suggested this one (no, it wasn’t Neil Cohn, at least not so far as I know. Hopefully he would enjoy it though.) And yeah, I know, this probably isn’t really an accurate distillation of semiotic theory. What do you want for nothing? My mind is already on the long weekend that we in Canada are about to enjoy.   Hope you have a good one too, wherever you are.

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123: Aristotelian

I like to think that if Aristotle or Plato were alive today, they would look at this comic and have heart attacks out of the fright of being confronted with a computer screen for the first time. But when they recovered, they would agree that the comic is a pretty good distillation of their lives - though Aristotle would add that he has some notes.

Have I mentioned lately that I will be tabling at the Halifax Pop Explosion’s zine fair on October 22nd, in the central library? I will have mini-comics and prints and will be doing a presentation on making, well, mini-comics and prints probably. In any case, if you are in the area be sure to stop in and say hello.

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122: Bounty Hunter

Sure, every Star Wars fan knows about Boba Fett and all those other weird alien bounty hunters sent after Han Solo because he owes Jabba the Hutt a bunch of... I don’t know, credits? But did you know that there is a former bounty hunter - a woman, no less - who doubles for Luke and Leia’s mother in the prequel trilogy? LOOK IT UP, NERDS.

Also, I’m pleased that I was able to slip a (tiny) Luke Cage reference into this one. 

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121: Silent Film Star

I know, I know. Ordinarily this is fan-suggestion Friday, but I am getting down to the last of the suggestions people have turned in and I wasn’t feeling it this morning, so if you want to avoid more dumb stunts like this one, click the link at the top and suggest a comic! Please. 

Artist types (or aspiring artist types), if you are looking for a challenge you should check out Inktober, which starts tomorrow. You basically make an ink drawing every day and post it online. I’ve done it for the last two years and highly recommend it as an exercise for working with that harshest of mistresses, ink. If you want to see what I do for Inktober this year, you can follow me on Instagram (see the link below) or just wait until I post better scans on my website, probably in December.

Have a good weekend all, see you Monday.

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120: Luchador

Here it is, a rare instance of the comic where I actually draw something as well as write the text. It doesn’t happen often, and for good reasons: (1) it’s a pain in the ass and (2) it usually looks terrible. My apologies in advance to any lucha libre fans and anyone else who came to this comic hoping for something authentic, only to find Taco Bell.

I think we can all agree, at least, that UFC is the worst.