the iudex

20 || writer, hobbyist, student

[homotron-4000]

Au where Kagami can’t speak Japanese and he kind of has to bullshit his way throughout the knb plot with even more aggressive posturing against/with the miracles and godawful google translate and ball is life-isms

[chaotic-neutral-knitter]

do you ever feel yourself fail a charisma check in real time

[metamorphesque]

— Tathève Simonyan, Colourless Musings

[text ID: In my corner of the world, killing is a love language.]

[theiudices]

🌹 azris for ur hcc gameeew

🌹 Who fell first and who fell harder?

Essay incoming

I think that Eris fell first and Azriel fell harder:

Eris, though still severely repressed, would likely have a more level head (marginally) about the whole relationship thing. He would understand that he was in love, take in the new piece of information, and then make a calculated decision on whether to pursue it or deprive himself of it in perpetuity.

Azriel, on the other hand, would battle guilt complex after guilt complex before he would let his brain go there. He has too many subconscious complexes for straightforward thought. IMO even he doesn’t know what he’s thinking half the time.

For the second point:

I don’t think Eris, as a character, is able to love as fully as Azriel is. I think this is due both to his position as future HL and his past with Beron.

On the other hand, I think Azriel is someone plagued with all-consuming love, and that it would take substantial effort on his part not to smother his lover w/ it. If he realizes he’s in love — genuine love — there is no other option but to pursue it.

(Of course, this is Rhysand & Co. notwithstanding, because I’m actually not too sure how Azriel will manage that kerfuffle. This is in large part because of Eris’s specific history with all of them.)

But my point is basically that if Azriel didn’t pursue the love he knew existed, or tried to deny it, it would be because of the others and not himself. And when he did pursue it, it would be with an intensity that mayyyy cause issues down the line.

(This is extra funny bc I also think Azris is like avoidant attachment end stage — Az more so disorganized than avoidant. They love each other to bits but!!! Communication is a non-starter)

-

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk!

[mournfulroses]

Albert Camus, from his novel titled "The Fall," originally published in 1956

[raesource]

ship headcanon questions

make sure to include the pairing(s) you are wanting these questions to be answered for . these should work for poly ships as well as monogamous . feel free to edit these as you see fit .

💕 How did they both realize “oh wait, this is actually love”?

🌹 Who fell harder & who fell first?

🫂 What’s their favorite way to hold each other when words aren’t enough?

🔥 What’s the pettiest thing they’ve ever argued about?

💋 Who says “I love you” first & how?

🌙 Who’s the little spoon & who pretends they hate it but secretly loves it?

💍 Would they ever get married? What would the proposal look like?

🧸 Who still has the very first gift the other ever gave them?

😈 Who is more likely to start chaos “for the vine” & who films it?

🎶 What’s their song - the one that makes them both tear up / grin like idiots?

☕ Who’s the morning person & how do they lure the night owl out of bed?

🛡️ Who jumps in front of danger for the other without thinking?

😳 What’s the most embarrassing thing they’ve walked in on the other doing?

💔 What’s the one fight that almost ended them?

🩹 How do they comfort each other after nightmares?

👀 Who gets jealous more easily & how obvious are they about it?

🍳 Who cooks & who sets off the smoke alarm trying to help?

🧳 If they had to run away together tomorrow, where would they go?

😏 Who is bolder in public (hand-holding, kisses, etc.)?

🌧️ Who steals whose hoodies when it rains?

🎂 How do they celebrate each other’s birthdays?

🖤 What’s the darkest “we’ll never tell anyone” thing they’ve done together?

💌 Who leaves little love notes & where do they hide them?

🛌 Who hogs the blanket & who ends up freezing dramatically?

😴 Who falls asleep first & who watches them with heart-eyes?

🚪 Who’s more likely to say “we’re not leaving this room today”?

🌸 What nickname do they have for each other that would mortify them if others heard?

🎤 Who sings in the shower & who secretly records it for blackmail?

💞 How do they act when one of them is sick?

🩸 Who would literally kill for the other & who would help hide the body?

🌅 Do they go on sunrise / stargazing dates? Which one do they love more?

😤 Who apologizes first after a fight, even if they weren’t wrong?

🧩 What tiny habit of the other do they find unbearably adorable?

🎪 Who plans elaborate surprise dates & who just wants to stay in?

👑 In their relationship, who’s the king / queen & who’s the knight / advisor?

🌪️ What’s the most chaotic thing they’ve done together on pure impulse?

💤 Who has the weirdest sleep-talking lines that the other quotes constantly?

🧡 What color reminds each of them of the other?

🕰️ If they could go back in time, what moment would they relive together?

😶 Who’s terrified of saying “meet my parents” & why?

🍷 Who gets tipsy first & starts spilling embarrassing love confessions?

🌿 Do they want kids/pets/plants together? What do they name them?

🪞 Who takes longer getting ready & who hypes the other up in the mirror?

💥 What’s the biggest risk one of them took for the other that the partner didn’t find out about until much later?

🧣 Who steals the other’s scarf / gloves “on accident” every winter?

🌌 What’s their “we made it through hell” memory they’ll tell their grandkids?

😘 Who kisses the other first thing in the morning, morning breath & all?

🩰 Slow dancing in the kitchen at 3 a.m. - who starts it?

⚓ If one of them had to leave forever, what would they leave behind for the other?

💫 Ten years from now, what random Tuesday are they spending together?

[metamorphesque]

A Grief Observed, C.S. Lewis

[noelledeltarune]

before pride month ends does anyone wanna admit they have a crush on me

[noelledeltarune]

posting this on the first day of june so you all have plenty of time to gather your nerves and whatnot

[myshangel]

Ilya gets really bad migraines after a bad concussion and one day shane comes home and kisses his cheek and says "how's your head baby?" and ilya says "u have never complained 😈" and then he bursts into tears bc his head actually really fucking hurts

[wingkink]

btw it's so fucking stupid you can be anxious physically in your body even after you've decided mentally you don't care. I'm supposed to be in charge here

[loveridden1999]

the thing about phone in bed is that it's so awesome. almost makes you feel like betraying & destroying yourself for nothing isn't all so bad

[noahseby]

theyre going to shoot me out back tomorrow and i will enjoy it

[metamorphesque]

 Franz Kafka, from a letter to Oskar Pollak [tr. Frederick R. Karl]

[theiudices]

SJM Sapphic Week: Armaiti

___

For: 2026 @sjmsapphic

Day Two || Maiden, Mother, Crone.

Armaiti; 2.6k words, Azriel’s Mother/OFC.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/85855226#main

___

Summary:

When Anahita comes out of the shower, sighing like a pleased cat, she’s wearing not even half of the clothes laid out for her. Instead, she’s taken to prancing around in her undergarments — donning just the slip.

This isn’t the kind of thing that ever phases Mahrokh. The boys in Velaris have stayed over at Rosehall many times, each equally brazen when with her and utterly unconcerned about modesty. The war camps, too, had males of significant musculature and equal arrogance, shirtless and sweating in the winter sun.

Yet it is only now that blood rushes to her face and her heart begins to flutter.

Or: Rosehall is peaceful and mundane and a little like paradise. It’s perfect for Mahrokh, resistant to change as ever — if only Fate had been barred from her doors.

Snippet under the cut <3

Mahrokh spends most of her days in Rosehall alone. Her son, often busy with his duties, sends her both gifts and letters, visiting when given leave. It’s a very sweet sentiment that she appreciates.

Rosehall is a manor built from stone and a little magic, on the southern side of Night. It’s equidistant between Velaris and the Court of Nightmares, and about as far from Illyria as one can get without spilling into the sea. There aren’t really any established villages on this side of the land – generally mountainous and quite coastal, seeing wild weather variations throughout the year.

Occasionally, the nomadic water-loving tribes that flit back and forth between Day and Night by coast will stray a little further from their usual routes, ending up on the islands beside her, but it rarely ends up in any contact.

If she’s being honest, though, she enjoys the privacy. It’s a far cry from the Illyrian villages of her youth, with no escape from the feeling of being carefully watched, judged and weighted, found eternally lacking.

Here, she sits and reads and stretches. She cleans the manor and sings as she does. Occasionally, she cracks open a large bottle of faerie wine from the cellar, and gets so drunk she passes out by the hearth, feeling little but the rush of the world around her. Perhaps also the nausea.

Azriel, as a chronic busybody despite all his protests to the contrary, fusses over it whenever he visits. “Maybe we should hire somebody to join you,” he’ll suggest. “If you wanted to move closer to Velaris, we could do that. You can come with me right now.”

Mahrokh always shakes her head, adamant. She will not be sequestered in another city, another village, or anywhere else crawling with people who knew her once and wish to know her again. “Quit your worrying, Azizam,” she replies every time, trying to level her tone into something motherly rather than sharp. “I am where I need to be.”

Her son’s face smooths out into his sort of blank expression – which to her will always seem a little pouty – and he lets the subject drop. She’ll pat him on the cheek and make him some soup. That is their routine.

Mahrokh’s mind lingers on this as she picks up a cup of freshly steeped tea, walking to her porch and letting the cold air prick her arms. Her wandering thoughts are quickly disrupted by a sharp thud in the land that surrounds her. It does not sound like the usual rustlings of the wildlife, and there’s a sudden tang of magic that sets her instincts a little alight.

[theiudices]

The fact that I’m prepping for ANOTHERRR 8 hour exam to take on May 30th instead of cooking smth up for @sjmsapphic week is killing me .

June 1st is going to just be me scrambling to put smth together in one day but it will be something!!! (A small something, maybe, but something)

[can’t wait to see everybody’s workkk im so hyped ‼️‼️‼️]

[theiudices]

ITS 5 AM AND I TYPED IT ON MY PHONE BUT I DID IT !! A win is a win is a win

[local-lesbian-tree-demon]

they should invent a body that feels normal to be inside of

[voidpostings1]