KentuckyFriedNerd

Lovin' the nacho life.

[thekentuckyfriednerd]

Peace Knows No Galaxy

During Star Wars Episode III: The Revenge of the Sith, there was one scene where Chancellor Palpatine and Anakin Skywalker watched a beautiful opera. What few do know, is that at the end of the opera, a man spoke. Here are his words transcribed for posterity: You know, we have a guest in the audience this evening. Chanellor Palpatine, I see you walking out but I hope you hear just a few more moments. There's nothing to boo, ladies and gentlemen. There's nothing to boo. We're all here sharing a story of love. We have a message for you, sir. We hope that you will hear us out. And I encourage everybody to pull out your communicators and transmit and post, because this message needs to be spread far and wide, OK? Chancellor Palpatine, we welcome you and we truly thank you for joining us here at our performance of Squid Lake. We really do. We sir, we, are the diverse Galactic citizens who are alarmed and anxious that your new administration will not protect us — our planets, our children, our parents — or defend us and uphold our inalienable rights, sir. But we truly hope that this show has inspired you to uphold our Republics'  values and to work on behalf of all of us. All of us. Again, we truly thank you for sharing this show, this wonderful Galactic story told by a diverse group of men and women of different colors, creeds, and orientations.

[thekentuckyfriednerd]

Well, I've just finished my emotional ride with a holocaust denier. I love this person very much, and will not state who they are. I've just finished watching Saving Private Ryan. I am drunk, and was drunk when the argument happened. I still remember, during the film premiere, the first time I ever saw my father cry. When he saw the people dying at Omaha, and knew that his own father had been driven mad by those very same screams of pain. No matter how much I neglected our relationship, I will never forget those tears, and will never forgot my fathers' love. Hatred, anger, rage, division, and misunderstanding caused everything that made my fathers' tears. I've done every single f*cking thing in my life in a way the would stop tears like that from ever happening again if I could prevent it. I have given so much, left so much unattended, just to try to stop that, and much of the time all in vain. This cannot go on. I want to have children, but I do not want to see me crying over a war I could not stop, had not the power to stop. I want them to see me smiling as I die, rather over a world I wish I could stay in. I want my children to see me dying, with a happy look upon my face, knowing that this world will live on, and be better for me having been in it, and having progressed beyond the bigotry and the destruction of this generation. But to move past that, we have to accept what happened before. The German Federation did in fact elect Adolf Hitler to the Chancellory in 1933. He did in fact enact Operation Reinhard, which while using diesel engines and Cyklon B he did create the death of over 1.8 million people, mostly Jewish but of other races as well. More than 40 million other people were killed because of his actions, by war, or, in most cases, by armless massacre. He is, by any definition, a monster, if not by his own creation. It is sad.

It is very sad, to me. When I was a small child, I did not know what names meant. I asked where my name Koehler came from. My family said Germany. I asked who was the most famous German. And they said, with trepidation, Hitler. I asked if he was a good man. They would not reply. And so I hoped he was a good man, and loved him, as a small child.

Now, I know, that he was not. What is worst, is that I have, within me, that small child, that still hopes he is good. That child is wrong.

[thekentuckyfriednerd]

Little Caesar's Cheezy Jalapeño dip is my favorite of pizza dipping sauces. I remember, one that cold fall day years ago, when I decided that out of two for 99 cent sauces, I didn't JUST want garlic butter. Perusing through the other choices.... ranch, buffalo ranch, bacon ranch, penis ranch..... Cheezy Jalapeño, ooh. "It could be tasty, and at least it'd be cheezy," I whispered to myself.    I never could have known the flavor explosion that would occur inside me on that evening, even into the wee hours of the morning! Ever since then, not only have I been a fan, but I've turned on several others to the beauty and incandescence of this glorious condiment for sauced and cheezed bread. However, not all are in agreement.   On the website "The Dallas Observer" they have reviewed quite a few of the various pizza chains sauces. Of the Cheezy Jalapeño they said, "Your florescent orange color mixed with your pudding like texture and astringent smell was reminiscent of a Homer Simpson disaster at the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant.   "From a culinary standpoint, a test participant said, "It taste like a mall bathroom. This sauce has given up. It's the sweat pants of sauces." I would agree. It has given up. It is the sweat pants of sauces.And this sums up precisely why it is my favourite.

[thekentuckyfriednerd]

When we found out Chuck E Cheese had made a spaghetti & meatballs pizza, we just had to review it. And are we glad we did. Check out how it stacks up in this exciting trip to one of the few 3-stage Chuck E Cheese’s left, and one of the best for pizza!

[thekentuckyfriednerd]

I did it. On my way back from Cave Country I stopped at Jerry’s Restaurant, one of the few remaining, and I had the ever-cherished dessert in its’ most pristine form: the Hot Fudge Cake. Here is the Internets’ best look at this famous dessert, all in high-definition Food Porn.

[thekentuckyfriednerd]

On my way back from the Funtown Mountain auction in Cave Country I stopped by one of the few remaining Jerry’s Restaurants in Bowling Green, Kentucky, and had a taste test of their most famous entree!

[thekentuckyfriednerd]

Here is the interview I managed to grab with the new owner of the property that was Funtown Mountain in historic Cave City, Kentucky. See what the future of Cave Country has in store!

[thekentuckyfriednerd]

It’s sad, but it needed witnessing, and it could potentially be the birth of something new and amazing. Here is the full, uncut footage of the April 20th 2016 auction of what once was Guntown Mountain, and Funtown Mountain. I even got to shake the mayor’s hand!

[thekentuckyfriednerd]

Fewdfinds! Imo's Pizza ! The Great Tastes of St Louis box at Imo's Pizza. STL Air Drop Part 3.

Whoa ho ho, in this episode I freak out about my favourite type of pizza! We try out the pizza part of the Great Tastes of St. Louis combo dinner at Imo's Pi...

Here is the video where I started getting silly. Too much good food does that to a person, but it was totally worth it.  This time we reviewed the pizza in Imo’s Great Tastes of St Louis box, which costs $19.99. Was it a good deal? Was it delicious? Watch this video, and the video to come to find out.  But yes, yes it’s very delicious.

[thekentuckyfriednerd]

One of my prouder moments. This is me(KentuckyFriedNerd) and my bestie being photographed by none other than Will Russell at the weekend premiere of the now-defunct(sad) Funtown Mountain! He was nice enough to give us a sneak peek at the unfinished section of the park along with some adventurous cool people, but more importantly, he was friendly, entertaining, and kind, and I wish him the best in 2016.

[thekentuckyfriednerd]

Some days I feel like a Joker, and some days I don’t. I’m always able to find that insane mirth in a situation, even if it’s terrible, and that’s one reason I do improv. Paducah Improv has been such a core foundation for my rebirth as a comedian, and as the KentuckyFriedNerd, that I could never truly repay my comrades on stage. They’ve done more for my performing spirit, along with a few others, than anyone could hope, beyond hope. I now have the talent, the courage, the quick wit, and the knowledge to do great things, and make the wonderful shows and sketches I’d dreamed of making when I was younger. We’re going up on stage again this Saturday, and it’s gonna be amazing. And at the end of the night, I’ll walk away, into the night, a performer, a comedian, a Kentucky Fried Nerd.

[thekentuckyfriednerd]

Hey I added a new and delicious food review this weekend! If you’re ever going to Mammoth Cave National Park in Kentucky, you’ll totally want to make this one of your meal stops! The flautas were crispy and flavorful, the chile rellenos were succulent and perfectly fried, and the nachos were crazy topped with everything we could want and more! 

[thekentuckyfriednerd]

*spoiler* So sad for tonight’s episode of Game of Thrones. But tonight I’ll dream, I’ll dream that we are together, eating sandwiches and fried chicken, spooning thick jams and crean sauces over crusty bread, want for naught, no danger, and before I go I’ll see he’s forever happy again. Hodor. #GameofThrones #HoldtheDoor

[thekentuckyfriednerd]

I wish I had another right now, but with hot sauce!