good omens is accurate to real life because crowley and aziraphale knew for 6000 years that the apocalypse was coming and they had to stop it, but they waited until the day it was due to pull off 90% of the job

if i look back, i am lost

JBB: An Artblog!
Misplaced Lens Cap

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Sade Olutola

Product Placement
art blog(derogatory)

#extradirty

shark vs the universe
One Nice Bug Per Day
tumblr dot com
Cosimo Galluzzi
we're not kids anymore.
cherry valley forever
i don't do bad sauce passes
ojovivo
Jules of Nature

blake kathryn
Not today Justin
Stranger Things

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@thekillerkiwi
good omens is accurate to real life because crowley and aziraphale knew for 6000 years that the apocalypse was coming and they had to stop it, but they waited until the day it was due to pull off 90% of the job
Complaint to A-Ziraph, on the matter of some clay tablets
When we met, you said to me as follows: “I will sell you the rare clay tablets you inquire about.” You left then, but you did not do what you promised me. You sent my messenger away with rude words and said: “If you want a clay tablet so much, you can damn well inscribe one yourself: go away, now, we’re closed.”
What do you take me for, that you treat somebody like me with such contempt? I have sent as messengers gentlemen like ourselves to your archives to collect the tablets with my money but you have treated me with contempt by sending them back to me empty-handed several times, and that through streets made dangerous by the frequent passage of a certain wild charioteer, claiming each time that your archives have just closed or that the copper ingots sent to you with my messengers are not good copper. You alone of all the traders in Dilmun have treated me with contempt.
Me, a year ago: “I can’t believe there are multiple fanfics about Ea-Nasir, the ancient Babylonian trader who kept defrauding customers.”
Me, today: “….yes I can.”
These exchanges between a bigot named Brendan Sullivan, and a heroic troll named Robert Graves, will be the best thing you read all day, I promise.
ROBERT GRAVES IS BACK ON MY DASH
robert graves: 5/7 pwnage
So about 10 years ago a Virus went through Colorado that took out most of our foxes, and just in the last 2 years they’ve started coming back to FoCo.
This is a bit of an issue for me as the one that’s staked out my parent’s neighborhood has decided that it and Arwen should be rivals, to which Arwen has heartily agreed.
Half my parent’s yard is fenced in, and since their house was built back in the 60′s it’s got these low windows where the average dog can peer out of them on all sides of the house. The ones in the front go right down to the floor, behind a small patio, so naturally every couple of nights at about 2 AM the fox comes by to investigate the property for rabbits, and groked pretty fast that Arwen is stuck indoors by then, so it paws at the glass until she notices it, then sits in front of the window and watches as she goes apeshit on the other side of the glass. Since I’ve come up with Charlie to watch the place, he has gleefully joined in this canine community theater event.
I can set a clock by this thing. Every third or fouth night, it comes around at no earlier than 1:58 AM and no later than 2:12 and I hear:
Fox: *bonk* Fox: … Fox: *bonk* Dogs: *interrogative collar jingling noise from the other room* Fox: *bonkbonkbonkbonkbonkbonk-* Arwen: BWAAAAAAAAAAUUUGUHRARARARARARARA- Charlie: YEEEEEAAAPAYAYAYAYAYAYA- Dogs: *scrambling, thudding noises as they try to get up from wherever they’ve nested and get off the couch/down the stairs with an absolute minimum of grace and coordination* Dogs, going completely insane, kicking the glass and slobbering and bellowing to wake the whole block up: BARKBARKBARKBARKBARKARKARKARKA AKAAKAKAKA- Me, genuinely worried their combined effort will actually break the glass, stumbling out of my room like a zombie on 4 Loko to grab them and direct them towards the basement until they chill: GOD-FUCKING-DAMMIT!! Fox, sitting on the other side of the glass: :D
Tonight however, Arwen was Very Asleep on the couch after a late-night walk and she didn’t hear the Bonking (Charlie heard it but it’s only fun as a group event, so he stayed in his chair, and I had headphones on for work), so in a move of genuine concern and/or extreme trollishness, the fox came around the house, got up on it’s little bastard hind feet and stuck it’s face between the open window and the screen and went, in it’s best “small-child-dying-horribly-in-a-real-fucked-up-horror-movie” voice, went: Fox: eeeEEEYYYAAAAAAUGH!!
Waking everyone up and causing me to breifly shit my own soul out in terror, before having to get up and bolt after Awen who HAS APPARENTLY LEARNED HOW TO OPEN THE BACK DOOR IF IT’S NOT LOCKED NOW, and wrestle 72lbs of dog from climbing the wire fence to go and kick the Fox’s ass, while Charlie ran around yelling and kicking me in the general spirit of things.
This seems to have greatly amused the fox, who I can only assume will be back tomorrow night for a repeat performance of “2 dogs, 1 brain cell”
BILL NYE can’t stress the importance of Climate Change enough
chapter 4 - 23
the eiffel tower!
read from the beginning / read on tapas / my art blog / my personal blog / art instagram / heartstopper merch / read the next update early on Patreon!
Charlie, a highly-strung, openly gay over-thinker, and Nick, a cheerful, soft-hearted rugby player, meet at a British all-boys grammar school. Friendship blooms quickly, but could there be something more…?
Nick and Charlie are characters from my debut novel, Solitaire. Heartstopper updates three times a month, on the 1st, 11th, and 21st.
I really appreciate reblogs and shares - please help me spread word about this comic! I’m so excited for people to read it!
Buy Volume One: Amazon UK / Waterstones / Book Depository (ships internationally)
Pre-Order Volume Two: Amazon UK / Waterstones / Book Depository (ships internationally)
Thank you Nintendo for giving us a short hair Zelda! I love her!
I’m back with trash content, because Tumblr is still a good platform I guess.
Fandom: wow, I bet Aziraphale doesn’t even realize what kind of club he belongs to, he just thinks it’s a normal gentleman’s club! Joke’s on him, it was actually a subtle secret gay club the whole time!
The actual Portland Place gentleman’s club: Absolutely unavoidably full of crossdressing, male hookers, and crossdressing male hookers, everyone goes by a woman’s name, ‘GAY OBLIVION’
this is (and I cannot stress this enough) ACTUALLY CANON
Female Loki! Here’s a preview sketch for this Friday’s upcoming Avengers episode. Painting a pt 2 with more chars! Stay tuned 💚
For those of you wondering about Erin Cuthbert’s celebration after her goal today:
She pulled this photo out of her sock after scoring at the World Cup vs Argentina. Her dad gave it to her before she left home for the tournament. On the back he wrote: ‘Do it for this wee girl who had a dream and practised and practised until it came true.’
Erin was also a mascot for Scotland back in 2007. Today, she scored her country’s first ever Women’s World Cup goal.
“ Link, it is possible to commit no errors and still lose. That is a not a weakness … That is life.” Ah, quoting the Picard for this one. I read it awhile it ago and it just … seemed like something Sidon would say Link while they heal in a fairy fountain.
ehem… I will have everyone know that this is currently my screensaver on my laptop
the inherent homoeroticism of pinning your rival against a wall as an intimidation tactic
the inherent homoeroticism of having a rival
The unbearable homoeroticism of being
Uruk, Iraq
The sorta literal translation from the arabic is so much more beautiful
“From here rose the first written letter, (finding its way) to every point on earth”
I like this version more
instead of saying “i want to kill myself” whenever something bad happens to me as a result of circumstances beyond my control i’ve started saying “i’m going to kill god” and it’s honestly done wonders for my self-esteem
you know what? 2019 mood
here’s the thing
for tumblr answer time, i ask every celebrity the same question
so far i’ve done misha collins
dj khaled
troian bellisario
sean o'pry
gavin grimm
tj miller
lany
and so far not a single goddamn answer.
i’m gonna keep going until i get a straight answer or @staff stops me
still doin it
answer me you heathens
answer me
answer me you cowards
answer the question
Have they answered u yet
no i’m furious
answer the question
Perseverance is my only virtue
cowards
FINALLY
Finally i get to be ignored by celebrities i respect
oh look
*cracks knuckles to dust*
@setheverman answer my prayers you negligent absent god
every single person on here? cowardly bitches.
face your mortality. choose your requiem.
i cant believe this didnt end with even one person answering them. what a let down
the cast of Gotham answered!
SOMEBODY FINALLY ANSWERED!!!!!!!
This is the best thing I’ve seen today.
time to ask the jonas bros, GO ASK THE JONAS BROS RIGHT NOW
This has been an emotional rollercoaster
Mary Fucking Joseph you have no idea. Neil motherlicking Gaiman just answered. Without warning. And quite thoughtfully.
I haven’t known a moment’s peace, I exist on eggshells and unreinforced styrofoam, quietude is but a concept I fantasize and sometimes cry about