So about 10 years ago a Virus went through Colorado that took out most of our foxes, and just in the last 2 years they’ve started coming back to FoCo.
This is a bit of an issue for me as the one that’s staked out my parent’s neighborhood has decided that it and Arwen should be rivals, to which Arwen has heartily agreed.
Half my parent’s yard is fenced in, and since their house was built back in the 60′s it’s got these low windows where the average dog can peer out of them on all sides of the house. The ones in the front go right down to the floor, behind a small patio, so naturally every couple of nights at about 2 AM the fox comes by to investigate the property for rabbits, and groked pretty fast that Arwen is stuck indoors by then, so it paws at the glass until she notices it, then sits in front of the window and watches as she goes apeshit on the other side of the glass. Since I’ve come up with Charlie to watch the place, he has gleefully joined in this canine community theater event.
I can set a clock by this thing. Every third or fouth night, it comes around at no earlier than 1:58 AM and no later than 2:12 and I hear:
Fox: *bonk*
Fox: …
Fox: *bonk*
Dogs: *interrogative collar jingling noise from the other room*
Fox: *bonkbonkbonkbonkbonkbonk-*
Arwen: BWAAAAAAAAAAUUUGUHRARARARARARARA-
Charlie: YEEEEEAAAPAYAYAYAYAYAYA-
Dogs: *scrambling, thudding noises as they try to get up from wherever they’ve nested and get off the couch/down the stairs with an absolute minimum of grace and coordination*
Dogs, going completely insane, kicking the glass and slobbering and bellowing to wake the whole block up: BARKBARKBARKBARKBARKARKARKARKA AKAAKAKAKA-
Me, genuinely worried their combined effort will actually break the glass, stumbling out of my room like a zombie on 4 Loko to grab them and direct them towards the basement until they chill: GOD-FUCKING-DAMMIT!!
Fox, sitting on the other side of the glass: :D
Tonight however, Arwen was Very Asleep on the couch after a late-night walk and she didn’t hear the Bonking (Charlie heard it but it’s only fun as a group event, so he stayed in his chair, and I had headphones on for work), so in a move of genuine concern and/or extreme trollishness, the fox came around the house, got up on it’s little bastard hind feet and stuck it’s face between the open window and the screen and went, in it’s best “small-child-dying-horribly-in-a-real-fucked-up-horror-movie” voice, went:
Fox: eeeEEEYYYAAAAAAUGH!!
Waking everyone up and causing me to breifly shit my own soul out in terror, before having to get up and bolt after Awen who HAS APPARENTLY LEARNED HOW TO OPEN THE BACK DOOR IF IT’S NOT LOCKED NOW, and wrestle 72lbs of dog from climbing the wire fence to go and kick the Fox’s ass, while Charlie ran around yelling and kicking me in the general spirit of things.
This seems to have greatly amused the fox, who I can only assume will be back tomorrow night for a repeat performance of “2 dogs, 1 brain cell”
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