The Spider In Your Kitchen

This is for TF2 shitposts and hornypost, occasionally posting about my other interests. if you know me, i'm sorry. 18+

[apricotbuncakes]

Trans people are living through uncertain times, and Trump is only going to add fuel to the fire. If you aren't trans, you need to be here to support trans people, and everyone else who will have their lives fucked over by a trump presidency.

So dear fucking gods above help me:

Here is my Gofundme for Top Surgery (scheduled March 20th, 2025)

Here is my EEP Doc to help trans people find resources. (It's still being updated, and I'm taking suggestions and questions on it.)

Here is a reminder to UPDATE YOUR PASSPORT WITH YOUR NAME AND CORRECT GENDER MARKER OR UNDO ANY CHANGES TO YOUR IDS IF YOU FEEL IT WILL JEOPARDIZE YOUR SAFETY.

If you don't believe you are loved and deserve to live, I love you. My DMs are open, please stay alive you are not alone, I love you so much. I don't have to know you to know I love you. You are human and that is enough of a reason. Do not let Trump out live you.

[thekitchenspider]

Shit this better not be the Puppygirl™ weed again.

[thekitchenspider]

What the fuck.

[thekitchenspider]

You’re so cool, please don’t go bald.

-A bug in a trench coat 🐛🧥.

counterpoint, Agent 47. I hope I go bald.

[thekitchenspider]

I need everyone to know that my main scout loadout (in the rare occasions I play scout) is made to look like my boyfriend because he said this one cosmetic didn’t look like his hair. It, much to his dismay, does look like him.

[thekitchenspider]

No words needed.

[thekitchenspider]

He does not put the ass in assassin.

[thekitchenspider]

I ain’t no bootlicker but I sure as hell am a boot humper.

[thekitchenspider]

oh no.

[jungkooklover29]

this gif does crazy things to me

[thekitchenspider]

Yeah. 47 is quickly making his way to Sniper territory for me.

[thekitchenspider]

oh no.

[thekitchenspider]

I had a dream and all I remember is Medic being there in one of those tight shirts and god DAMN.

[thekitchenspider]

TRAIN RAAAAAIN

[thekitchenspider]

I’m so hard for this years scream fortress I can’t wait.

[thekitchenspider]

Guess who’s hard again.

[thekitchenspider]

Saw a friends sniper art and I got so hard my discord crashed

[thekitchenspider]

currently playing tf2 and saw your notification of a scout image right after being killed by that guy :(

LMAO get owned chucklenuts. (I am so sorry for flashing you with scout.)

[thekitchenspider]

Im making my friend, who knows nothing about tf2 other than my rambling, judge every tf2 character by their

Scout

Voice: 6/10, “Fat Italian vibes”

Looks: 9/10, “i wanted a fat Italian but he’s fine.”

Soldier

Voice: 10/10, “grunkle Stan vibes”

Looks: 5/10, “I like the stubble”

Pyro

Voice: 4/10, “it’s like those chainsaws outside”

Looks: 7/10, “I like the bod.”

Demo

Voice: 10/10, “I like how strong it is.”

Looks: 11/10, “the eyepatch, the scruff, the everything.” (Me too girl)

Heavy

Voice: 10/10, “I like Russians”

Looks: 8/10 “I was expecting like… the dude from the village.”

Engineer

Voice: 12/10, “SJSHSHSHAJAOSJDB” (yeah)

Looks: 10/10, “bob the builder”

Medic

Voice: 10/10 “German.. and sassy..”

Looks: 10/10, “I’d like him give me a lobotomy”

Sniper

Voice: hehehehehe🥰/10, “kicking my feet giggling,”

Looks: nice/10 “you like him for the nose.”

Spy

Voice: 9/10 “should be angrier”

Looks: 5/10, “points for the mask, makes him look fruity.”

[thekitchenspider]

I just realized I have a typo in this

I meant to our voice and looks in the title.

[thekitchenspider]

I forgot that old man’s voice did things to me that will get me kicked from the pearly gates.