The Lady Beard

i'm jennifer and i usually forget about this tumblr. follow me @ohmanalive

[theladybeard]

My head hurts.

From the police shooting innocent people (i.e. Ferguson/the latest video from the Walmart incident/every other time) to people who don't understand equality (i.e. Women Against Feminism/"Christians"*) to people being racist and pretending they're not (i.e. coffee cups). I'm over it, y'all. I'm done. I'm giving up.

But I'm not going to give up on fighting for basic human rights, annoying people with what I think and believe, or crying over the loss of life.

But I'm giving up on people who are just so far away from their heart and their basic goodness to realize what our one life on this earth is all about.

It's about love, kindness and respect. That's it. End of discussion.

*in quotes, because I don't believe that the basic fundamentals of Christianity are to deny rights to anyone nor to choose not to love some people due to what they think or believe.

[theladybeard]

Brangelina

This thought crossed my head, and now I will bore you with it...

I'm not sure when Brangelina got married. I think I was on vacation on the beach or maybe I was on the river. I really don't know.

What I do know, is that in my world where I ignore magazines at the check out line (honestly probably because I rarely go to the supermarket and when I do I focus on the prices of candy), lack of cable, and lack of reading  any sort of Perez Hilton crap, I had no idea they got married.

But even more so, I found out by reading a website or two that was complaining that people cared they got married. (And now I'm complaining about those websites, so this cycle will continue forever). I guess it was a big deal? But to whom? And why do we care either way?

If people want to be excited that strangers (to us, hopefully with the militia they've been raising and that movie Mr & Mrs Smith they actually know each other now) got married, let them. Who cares one way or the other. Let's stop being so hyper critical of celebrity culture and our lives in the age of the internet that we can't function without getting angry about marriage.

Let's get angry about the things that matter. Let's complain about human rights violations, the rate of poverty in America, Brainerd preachers who have little to no regard for people who are different than him.

Now that's shitty. 

[theladybeard]

Soooo, a famous person posts begging people to fund a movie, and it gets a bazillion retweets/favorites/shares/blog posts/media attention/etc. and gets fully funded rather quickly. A famous person posts begging people to help a kid with cancer, and it gets a few hundred retweets/favorites/share and almost none of the people who retweeted/favorited/shared donated, because it's still really far from its goal. Why do we do this?

Whatever, I have a headache. Back to work.

[broadist]

TRIGGER WARNING: violence against women, assault, etc.

The last time I was assaulted was the same week as the Isla Vista killings which also coincided with my 27th birthday. It happened again yesterday afternoon, with unwanted sexual advances on the bus. I was alone, my phone was dead, and no...

[theladybeard]

It's interesting that every time something like this happened to me, I never think of it as assault. But it is. 

Two weekends ago, I attended a concert at a local bar here in Chattanooga, and a very drunk man kept running his fingers down the back of my roommate. I screamed at him and told him to stop and then moved in front of her to block him. Soon after, she went to get a drink, and he started doing it to another girl. I freaked out, and shoved the guy against the wall, and before I could do more, he (or really I) was saved by two large men who told me they had been watching him all night, and would take care of it if something happened. I was relieved. 

I then, unfortunately, got so intoxicated that I was crying. It became a bad night. My mistake. But on the way out, another guy made a mistake of his own. He reached up my dress and grabbed my ass. I turned around, furious, and slugged him. He said "What?" and I said "You don't treat women like that, expletive, expletive, expletive." When I came outside, my face still puffy from crying, the bouncer laughed at my explanation to my roommate of why I did it. I then heard him tell some passersby how funny it was that the girl who was crying slugged a guy. It's not funny. It's miserable. 

When I've told the story since then, I felt like people were afraid of me. Afraid that I stand up to assault. But I do, and I won't stop. 

Thanks, dood, for sharing this. I've been ashamed at my reaction to these guys, and I shouldn't be.

[fadedtimes-deactivated20171013]

[ninoport]

B. Y. E

[theladybeard]

If there is an Angel, does that mean there is a BUFFY? And a Spike, and Willow and Xander?! 

I need to get out more.

[patbaer-deactivated20240227]

29 impressions by Rob Cantor in one song.

[theladybeard]

2:46

[theladybeard]

New Old Girl

Not that anyone cares, but my dream last night was an episode of New Girl: Nick kept using acronyms to tell Jess what he wanted for dinner. Cece was on a date with another guy talking about Schmidt. Schmidt, Winston and Coach were at a costume party with a rap group from the '90s (that I made up in my head - Swisha). Cece said something like "Everything will be fine as long as Schmidt doesn't critique the menu and Winston and Coach don't try on Swisha's clothes." Cut to Schmidt in a high pitched voice writing down his likes and dislikes and Winston and Coach trying to walk out on stage to rap with a ton of Umpa Lumpas behind them, and Winston can't keep up and screams "Get behind me! I'm going to go rap a song about cheating on my equally short wife!" The end.

[theladybeard]

WHY IS THIS A RULE ON #KICKSTARTER?????

[flavorwire]

“Women are not taken seriously… They put a man in a dress, and he’s supposed to know what it feels like to be a woman. But of course he doesn’t. I think what Dustin [Hoffman] says is, ‘I realize now how important it is for a woman to be pretty. And I wasn’t pretty.’ God! That’s all you realized? Jesus Christ. ” — Teri Garr

Dustin Hoffman’s Tootsie Tears: Let’s Stop Congratulating Men for Discovering That Sexism Exists

[tylercoates-deactivated20130905]

Ding dong! Here I am, ruining everyone’s fun again.

[meredithmo]

Thanks Tylerrrrr!

[melaniehamlett-deactivated20190]

I totally agree with this and understand where it’s coming from, but I still like the Dustin Hoffman video.  He had an epiphany and it made him cry and  it made a lot of people stop and think for a second.  Isn’t that a good thing?

Also, as someone who majored in history (of human rights) in college and did nothing but study the way people oppress each other during that time, I learned that it’s almost always the people who are a member of the more powerful group that have the most influence on that group.  A male feminist will always sway men more than a female one,  for the same reason that white people are more receptiive to hearing how racist they are from other white people than from people of color.  It’s just the way it is.  Humans don’t handle the shame of hearing it from the people they oppress very well, so we get defensive and dismiss them.  But when our peers call us out, it’s less threatening and we actually think about it.  And perhaps change. That’s why it’s important that we have men as our allies and not shoot them down and roll our eyes when they stand up for women.  And that’s why it’s important that heterosexuals stand up for the rights of their homosexual friends and white people teach other white people about white privilege.  

So yeah, men, keep having your epiphanies and keep talking about them.  I fully support your efforts to at least try.  I don’t know about other women, but I’m tired of teaching men about male privilege and mysogeny. i’d be happy to let the men take on that burden for awhile. So thank you guys who are doing that and talking about it.

[theladybeard]

What Melanie said ^^^^

[theladybeard]

Criminal + Torn ~~ We Can't Stop

Okay so, I was talking about the Blurred Lines video (and it's NSFW version) just last night... And this morning I read this piece on NPR.

First of all, I think the video is super confusing, and I don't understand what anyone is getting off of models traipsing back and forth (naked or otherwise), but I'm more concerned about the fact that this Martel person is DESPERATELY trying to bring back white platform tennis shoes! I mean, seriously, GROSS. And the models look so BORED, and WHY DOES T.I. KEEP BRUSHING THEIR HAIR?

Whatever, I really just want to talk about Miley's We Can't Stop. I can't complain much about this video, which has the same director as Blurred Lines, considering I'm a huge fan of Fiona Apple's Criminal video and of course Natalie Imbruglia's song Torn. But I do realize that Criminal and Torn is what comes AFTER videos like We Can't Stop. In other words, "live fast die young, bad girls do it well", but you're not M.I.A. and you're probably going to end up in jail or with a broken heart. I'm not worried about where she's headed necessarily, but I'm afraid for young girls who watch this video and think that is how they should live their lives or dress. And I don't meant that they can't wear clothes like that because they're skimpy, but I mean that the clothes are just really ugly...

And here's the thing, in Torn, the lyrics are about feeling shameful, "lying naked on the floor" but not necessarily because they had sex, but because he left her there - he broke her heart. Now, with Criminal, Fiona Apple didn't have her heart broken, she broke his heart. I mean, she feels kinda bad about it, but really she doesn't give two fucks. And it would be safe to say that somewhere between Torn and Criminal there's a blurred line, and that's who I am. I believe women should have power, but we can't help it if dudes break our hearts sometimes. It happens.

So, I say, more power to you, Miley. If you want to live your life hopping around from dude to dude drinking sweat from red solo cups or whatever the hell your song is about, do it! Keep in mind, though, that there are lots of tween girls who are doing the same thing, and the media will probably blame you if one of them dies at a party while listening to your song. I mean, you're in charge of shaping young people now, which really just terrifies me.

So, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go walk back and forth incessantly in front of my desk to Blurred Lines, because although, yes, I do think the video is weird (especially the unrated one), and it makes me overly uncomfortable, the song is kind of fun. And I love Pharrell. I mean... I love him to where I kind of sexualize him too. Just trying to make it even. If girls can traipse around and have guys be like WHOOOAAAA! I can think about Pharrell traipsing around topless.

[theladybeard]

I paused "Blurred Lines" at the most perfect time.

[newyorker]

"I wrote my will in doubletalk: if our marriage has federal recognition, this is the path; if our marriage does not have federal recognition, that is the path. It took a lot of work to make up such an eventuality-burdened document, and the idea that half of it became irrelevant on Wednesday, with the Supreme Court’s decision in United States v. Windsor, makes a concrete difference in my life and even in my death."

Andrew Solomon on falling in love with marriage and what the DOMA decision means for internal and external homophobia: http://nyr.kr/14cJK0f (via newyorker)

[uoa]

never give up on your dreams

keep sleeping

[theladybeard]

No, Gmail. I think you're wrong. This is a legitimate job offer. I'll take it!

[theladybeard]

Dear Groupon,

Let me start out by saying that I appreciate everything you’ve done for me over the past few years. All the times that I’ve saved a lot of money by paying half what I would normally for something, which in all honesty, is probably the actual price of the product or service.

But lately, you’ve been making me sad.

Yes, I do want to go on a Caribbean vacation for two, but what would be my other half? Yes, I do want to ride down the Ocoee with another person, but would they accept a kayak for one? Yes, I do want ride on a horse in the middle of a field and hold hands with another person on our respective horses, but what if there isn’t another person to hold hands with?

I want to do things, Groupon, but I have to do them in a group of one.

Therefore, I’m unsubscribing from you, Groupon. I’ve decided that having a hole in my bank account is better than having a hole in my heart. I wish you well, and I hope your company doesn’t fold (just in case I actually do fall in love one day).

Kind regards,

Jennifer

[theladybeard]

My co-worker is getting married, so I put her head on a couple of dresses for options.

Which one is the best?

[theladybeard]

The Dude aBidens