Life Journal-ism @thelastyeo - Tumblr Blog

Let's give virtual "journaling" a try.

I can rely on no one but myself. Caregiving leaves one with an unsound mind.

(Yes, I have been to Woodbridge. It's overhyped.)

I suppose this could stop me from murdering people.

Thank you life on a stupid and small overcrowded island.

I wish I had the energy to hate but I just don't care.

#alone #lonely #faux journaling #hate my life #fml

Until we meet again...

Dare I hold on to that hope? Parting is just sorrow.

#grief #denial #acceptance

xellybelli

A gentle tug at the heartstrings :

The bittersweetness of parting, a promise of a greater life beyond.

.

I haven't felt much joy, or the tickle of a good laugh in a while.

..

I miss being myself.

thelastyeo

A little at a time, I suppose...

#grief #grief journey #depression #bittersweet #hans zimmer #Spotify

I just cannot go on. Life is only existence.

One last laugh, one last meal, one last pleasure, one last look, one last goodbye. Time is truly unfair.

#grief journey #depression

I don't want to stay home...

Because, without you, it is no longer one.

Because the residence is falling apart.

Because the equatorial sun is destroying it.

Because it reminds me of the bad things that happened in it over the years. The stealing, the falls...

Because only two of us live here now.

.

Because everywhere reminds me of you.

#grief #grief journey #climate change #public housing #burglary #ptsd #depression #stayathome

Yes, I still hate you, world.

Yes, this is me accepting my grief. And. I. Hate. Everything.

#hate #anger #grief journey #nope #big nope

"The things I once had love for, have all now become what I hate most."

Documentaries.

Cooking.

Tidying.

Is life like this from now on..?

#grief #anger #depression

Crying my heart out solves nothing.

I wonder what purpose these bitterly shed tears serve, other than to release the pain I hold within.

.

Do you know how much I miss you, Da?

#grief journey #grief #depression

Should I be thankful for this afternoon's reprieve from the blisteringly hot weather?

It was a short rain but the land is still hot. Damnable, damnable heat.

#grief journey #finding meaning #thankful #climate change

#grief #anger #depression #suicidal #lonely #loneliness

What the hell did I do wrong?

My Godmother and a close family friend, have cancer. Different stages, same thing.

When I learn to get close to actual people, must they be torn away from me?

You are cruel, fate. Screw you. I may not need my emotions but must I be robbed of friends too?

#grief #guilt #depressed #depression #despair #lonely #loneliness

So I had a WhatsApp chat with my Godmother...

I had almost forgotten how much I missed my Da. All these emotions are too much for me to handle...

Why does grieving have to be this painful?

#grief #grief journey #acceptance #depression #depressed

"Again, I practise being thankful, in each day and in each its own pace."

(I want to assume that being grateful means the same thing as being thankful? Just the same in thing different intensities, I guess?)

(1) I am grateful that I slept enough and woke up early this morning to actually get things done... before the afternoon heat attempts to murder me. Like my Grandfather, always told me, "Early to bed, early to rise. Gong-Gong (公公), you cannot imagine how true your words you were, especially in these days of global warming and extreme climate shifts.

(2) I FINALLY got to chat with a family friend diagnosed with Stage Four Cancer. The mood was awkward and pensive, but all it took was for my fat fingers to muddle things up. I am thankful I could talk with her and have her chuckling at my fat fingers' phemominally flubbing the touch scree on my mobile..

Thank you universe/the cosmos for giving these very precious moments. To remind me that I am human.