So I haven't posted in a while...
HAVE A CREATE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE STORY. I've titled it "La Cafe De Guadalupe" Sorry if it's hard to follow, good luck 😬 After a long day of shopping around town you feel tired, carrying around bags and going up and down stairs has really taken it out of you, but there is one shop that seems to be calling your name. A cafe on the corner of 3rd and Franklin. Do you go in? IF YOU CHOSE NOT TO ENTER THE CAFE: You go home and unpack all of your new apparel, living the rest of your life as anyone would. Congrats. (BORING END) IF YOU CHOOSE TO ENTER THE CAFE: A quick drink never hurt anyone right? You head into the cafe looking to perk up your energy and listen to the terrible ambiance of 13 year olds stealing the free internet and hipsters talking about the new foreign film that no one cares about. Now, the real question is, what'll ya have? As you look at the menu you notice the newest sugary, calorie packed, frappiccihno that all the cool kids are getting. It looks good but they also have just plain coffee or tea. Which do you get? IF YOU CHOSE THE FRAP: Reluctant but curious, you get the new frap. As you wait for your order you notice a bunch of middleschool fuckboys walk in. Oh the horror, they're making musicallys and biting their lips, it makes your heart start to race with fear and apprehension. You know their roasts are fire. You hear your name at the counter, your drink is ready. You walk to the counter and try to be as cool as possible, but this does not throw the prepubescents off your scent. You hear the tallest one say, "Snapchat this for me." Your heart starts beating even faster, the boy gets close enough to the point where you can smell his axe cologne. You pretend to act natural and take a large sip of the drink you just ordered. Bad idea. The sugar causes your already quick paced heart to triple in speed! You faint, never to be woken up. You've had a heart attack at the hands of a 13 year old. (MUSICALLY STAR ENDING) IF YOU CHOSE COFFEE/TEA: You're not trying to gain 3 pounds through a straw. You go with your normal everyday drink. As you wait you see a cute person from across the room, they look at you and they smile. Wow, what a cute smile. This person is beyond hot and they just smiled at you out of this whole coffee shop. Do you approach? IF YOU DON'T APPROACH: They were probably just being polite right? Your drink is finally ready anyway, you go and claim it and have a nice quiet think while you enjoy your beverage. You drive home happy and have a nice afternoon trying on your new clothes and putting up your new decorations. (CAFFEINATED ENDING) IF YOU APPROACH: Wow a bold move, eye contact AND a smile, who could pass this up. You walk over to them and ask their name. "It's Guadalupe." They say, you're star struck, they are the cutest person ever and you just can't get enough. You hear your name called at the counter, you retrieve your drink and come back to your new found crush and enjoy small talk until you realize you have to pee. You head to the restroom and do your business and come back to Guadalupe. You guys keep talking and drinking until you two are the only ones in the cafe, the lunch rush has ended. You keep chatting but as you talk you begin to feel sleepy. Uncontrollably sleepy. You pass out right there in the cafe. You awaken on the damp cold floor of a dark room. You look around for anything that can show you where you are. You see a dim light towards the right side of your vision, do you move towards it? IF YOU CHOSE TO NOT MOVE: You're too petrified to move in this unfamiliar environment, you sit there hoping someone will come for you at some point, but it's too late. It's freezing in that room, frostbite takes you into its icy grasp and you die in the room. (FROSTY ENDING) IF YOU CHOSE TO MOVE: You've got to get out of here, you don't know where you are or what you did to get here, but you can't stay. You move apprehensively toward the light, watching for anything that might be on the floor. But suddenly you see a glint a little to the left, it looks metallic, do you investigate? IF YOU DECIDE TO INVESTIGATE: Might as well see what it is, it could be useful. You head towards the object and soon find that you've got yourself a key! Lucky, maybe this will help you get out. You keep moving towards the light, as you approach, you notice it's light leaking in through the cracks of a door. A way out! You quickly but cautiously get closer until you're looking for a knob. You find one but it's locked tight, you put your ear to the door and listen but here nothing. You try the key, the door is unlocked and the key snaps in half. Opening it slowly, you look out to see a narrow hallway stretched out in front of you. There are 3 doors, one straight ahead, one to you left, and one to your right. Which do you choose? IF YOU DECIDED NOT TO INVESTIGATE: What if it's a bear trap or something, rather have a leg than whatever that is. You keep moving towards the light, as you approach, you notice it's light leaking in through the cracks of a door. A way out! You quickly but cautiously get closer until you're looking for a knob. You find one but it's locked tight, you press on it gently with your fingers and feel that it's hollow and light. With a good hit it might just budge... do you ram it? IF YOU DECIDE TO RAM IT: You take a few steps back and take a deep breath, you go for it but you slip on a puddle right before the door. You fly forward and hit the knob right smack dab with the middle of your forehead. It kills you, you fall to the cold hard floor, never to be seen again. (DUMBASS DEATH) IF YOU DECIDE TO LOOK AROUND: Whelp you're not trying to make a bunch of noise to let your kidnapper know your awake, you decide to go back to that shiny thing, it could be useful. You head towards the object and soon find that you've got yourself a key! Lucky, maybe this will help you get out. You keep moving towards the light, as you approach, you notice it's light leaking in through the cracks of a door. A way out! You quickly but cautiously get closer until you're looking for a knob. You find one but it's locked tight, you put your ear to the door and listen but here nothing. You try the key, the door is unlocked and the key snaps in half. Opening it slowly, you look out to see a narrow hallway stretched out in front of you. There are 3 doors, one straight ahead, one to you left, and one to your right. Which do you choose? IF YOU CHOSE THE MIDDLE DOOR: You head up the the middle door and here the sound of typing after pressing your ear against the cold metal surface. Do you go in? NO: Ok, pick another door. YES: You walk in and see just who you hoped to. Guadalupe! They did not notice you walked in, you could easily walk up behind them and choke them out right here for locking you up and taking all the things you bought from forever 21, you were ready for those pastels, and now their GONE. Do you choke out Guadalupe? CHOKE: You run up and grab Guadalupe by the throat but they push you off before you can choke them out. They ask to explain do you let them? NO CHOKE: Guadalupe slowly turns in their chair, How are you feeling?" They ask. You begin to ask why you're here and why they did this but as soon as you open your mouth Guadalupe stops you. "I didn't kidnap you." How could you believe them? After you woke up in a dark cold room with nothing? Do you let them explain? EXPLAIN: Ok, might as well see what happened to you. "Go ahead Guadalupe" you say. "You fell asleep in the coffee shop and after shopping too hard and after I met you... you were just the most beautiful person I'd ever met. I couldn't just leave you there. I carried you here, to my office. I didn't have any bed or anything here so I put you in the boiler room and locked the door so the janitors wouldn't find you sleeping. Even though I am the security guard and I could see them going I have no place in that room. I figured I'd see you get up but here you are. And your bags are in my car I didn't mean to scare you." Wow, what a nice person, saving you from embarrassment of being woken up by a barista. You look at Guadalupe, Guadalupe looks back at you. You guys are meant for each other. You guys decide to get married and live happily ever after. The end. (FUCK ME UP GUADALUPE ENDING) FIGHT: You charge Guadalupe, catching them off guard you begin pinning them to the ground and choking them out with the pent up rage you have from loosing all your purchases at Macy's. Those prices, you can't beat them, but you can sure beat Guadalupe. After a struggle they're finally out. You take their keys and escape, you find their car and bounce. (FUCK YOU GUADALUPE ENDING) IF YOU CHOSE THE RIGHT DOOR: Maybe the one that has the word right in its name is the way to go. You head towards it and give it a listen, no sound. Do you still want this door? NO: Let's see if we hear anything from the others first. Choose another door. YES: No turning back now, you open the door to find a closet full of old costumes. How weird, did you stumble your way into a Halloween store? Who knows, but you decide to look around. You discover 3 costumes in your size; a clown, a fairy, and a suit of armor. Do you put one on? FAIRY SUIT: Alright tinker bell pick another door. Or do you need to go steal children's teeth first? KNIGHT SUIT: This seems like a cool and protective costume, you throw it on, making a lot of noise in the process. Pick another door. CLOWN SUIT: What is wrong with you? Anyway, you put the demon suit on and continue on your merry way, which door next? IF YOU CHOSE THE LEFT DOOR: You listen to the left door and can hear soft voices coming from behind it, do you go in? NO: Better not risk being discovered. Pick another door. YES NO COSTUME: Why not, maybe someone will help you get out of this place. You walk in to find a room full of samurais! They all turn to you at once, they look up and down and see you're just an ordinary person. They talk to you about what you're doing there and you tell them your story. They decide you are worthy of being saved and lead you to safety through the exit behind their room. You have escaped, you are free. (SAMURAI FREN ENDING) YES/CLOWN: Why not, maybe someone will help you get out of this place. You walk in to find a room full of samurais! They all turn to you at once, they look up and down and see that you're in a fucking clown costume. They're horrified, they start screaming and crying. They run at you with their swords and kill you right then and there, this is what you get for wearing a clown suit. (EVERYONE HATES CLOWNS. ESPECIALLY SAMURAIS ENDING) YES/FAIRY: Why not, maybe someone will help you get out of this place. You walk in to find a room full of samurais! They all turn to you at once, they look up and down and see that you're in a fucking fairy costume. They start laughing so hard, harder than you have ever seen anyone laugh. The fastest one is tearing up. So you just stand there, like a deer in headlights until you die from embarrassment. (SAMURAI'S LOVE FAIRIES ENDING) YES KNIGHT: Why not, maybe someone will help you get out of this place. You walk in to find a room full of samurais! They all turn to you at once, they look up and down and see you're in a knights outfit. A worthy opponent. The largest of the group stands and raises his katana, do you accept his challenge? CHALLENGE ACCEPTED: Ok? You put up your only defense, your chain mail covered fists. He charges you, he's coming closer, that katana is going right through you shitty costume if he keeps going at that speed why did you challenge him oh goodness this is the end. But wait. He stops just before you, the katana slightly tapping your tinfoil-esk costume. He respects you for being brave and leads you to the exit, nice one. (BRAVE HENNY END) FUCK THAT: Smart, you book it and slam behind you, pick another door.