Tired
Im tired. I am tired of all of this. I’m tired of living from one tear to the next. one anxiety to the next. I feel like i’m at an all time low mentally. Before I have just been numb when the depression took over. This time it’s different. I feel so many things at once. I should be happy, it’s my senior year of college, i’m engaged and should be over the moon (i mean i am so happy), I should be all happy about all these things. But everything is making me cry and feel so overwhelmed that I can’t think straight. I talked to the doctor to try to get help but she said if i can’t get better i should go to the hospital... I don’t want to do that. I want to graduate and live my life how it should be right now. I just want to feel normal and happy again. I want to be happy but i can’t feel that way. I really am trying.. I can’t force it. I’ve tried. I know at the end of this phase everything will be okay but right now i don’t feel like there’s any hope. I feel like I’d rather be gone than have to do this again. I’m so fucking lost.
